Been There Prayed That (9781622860845) (18 page)

“Daddy, can I get dessert?” Sakaya asked Maeyl as the two of them, along with Tamarra sat in Family Café.

“What do you think, Tamarra? Should I let her? Is she a clean plater?” Maeyl teased Sakaya. He was making every effort to include Tamarra in their little playful venture.

Tamarra subconsciously rolled her eyes in her head. While some women would have admired a black man doing everything he could to form a bonding relationship with his little girl, Tamarra was sickened by it, and embarrassed, and disgusted. She was ashamed as well, ashamed for feeling this way toward the little girl. Or was it toward Maeyl? Or was it toward the entire situation altogether? She didn't know. All she did know was that she was not doing too well coping with the cards she'd been dealt.

Tamarra had been pretty distant from Maeyl. He thought it was because of the developing circumstances of him finding out he had a three-year-old daughter that he never knew about. And indeed it was. But it was also the fact that Tamarra had been dealing with the situation involving her mother and jailed brother. Now that that situation seemed to be somewhat under control, she knew it was time she faced this one as well.

When she had called Maeyl yesterday and suggested the three of them catch the latest Disney animated flick and a bite to eat, he'd at first declined.

“Sakaya is just now getting used to having me as her daddy,” he'd told Tamarra over the phone. “I don't know if introducing her to the woman in her daddy's life is such a good idea right now.”

As soon as he'd said the words, Tamarra recalled his support in the Single's Ministry meeting of a single parent waiting three months before introducing their children to the person they are dating. She assumed the same applied in their situation. When she'd replied to the rejection with, “Then I guess I'll ask you again in what, three months?” Maeyl quickly sensed her hurt feelings. That's when he decided to go ahead and give it a shot. So now here the three of them were: Daddy, daughter and . . . the girlfriend.

“Tamarra, what do you think?” Maeyl repeated when he didn't get a response from Tamarra. “Tamarra, is Sakaya a clear plater? Tamarra?”

“Oh, huh? What? I'm sorry,” she apologized. “What did you say?” Tamarra's mind had wandered off just that quickly. She'd been too busy looking around the restaurant to see who was in there, who was there pointing and laughing at her. Poor Tamarra keeps hooking up with all these men with these babies' mamas. She could just look at their moving lips and know those were the words they were speaking. And she didn't blame them. Heck, she was thinking it too. She was uneasy, uncomfortable, and embarrassed. She could have kicked herself for even making the suggestion that they do a group thing in the first place.

“You should do what my mom always tells me to do,” Sakaya suggested to Tamarra. “You should put on your listening ears. My mommy takes her hands, puts them in her pocket, pulls them out, and then places them on my ears.” The little girl demonstrated on her father. “I'm sure she has some extra ones that you can have. She has lots of them.” Sakaya smiled at Tamarra. “I'm sure my mommy won't mind sharing her stuff with you. She's already sharing Daddy.”

Even in trying to force a smile, Tamarra couldn't. Just the thought of that Sasha woman created a brewing sensation in Tamarra's stomach. The idea of that woman sharing anything with Tamarra, even a set of make believe ears, let alone her man, made her temperature rise.

“Can you two excuse me for a minute?” Tamarra asked. “I need to go to the little girl's room.”

“As big as you are?” Sakaya asked. “You should probably go to the ladies room. That's where my mom always goes.”

Tamarra really did need to go to the bathroom now because if that child mentioned her mother one more time, she was going to puke.”

Chuckling at his daughter's comment, Maeyl said, “Go on, honey. We'll be waiting out here for you. I'm going to order Sakaya some dessert.”

Tamarra smiled and made a beeline toward the bathroom. She couldn't get inside soon enough. She leaned over the sink, balancing herself with her arms as she stared down into the face bowl. She closed her eyes and shook her head. “Lord, what am I doing?”

“Something you have no business doing,” a voice replied, “and on top of that, something you don't want to be doing.”

For a minute there, Tamarra thought she finally had proof that God was a woman, but then she opened her eyes and looked up to see that the female voice she'd just heard had come from Zelda.

“Excuse me?” Tamarra said.

“You just asked the Lord what you were doing,” Zelda reminded her. “Well, I guess He decided to use a wretch like me to come on in here and provide you with the answer.” Tamarra remained silent. “Yeah, I saw you out there.” Zelda nodded toward the bathroom door. “You looked as uncomfortable as a plus size woman whose girlfriends haven't told her she's fat, so she's still shopping in the Misses department.”

Tamarra couldn't help but let out a laugh. “Zelda, you sure do have a way with words. I guess that's what's missing up in New Day now that you're gone. I used to love when you had altar duties. You'd make it plain, my sister, that's for sure. Sure do wish you were still attending.”

“Oh, no. Don't you dare try to turn the tables,” Zelda said, shooing her hand. “God sent me in here to minister to you, not the other way around.” Zelda stood next to Tamarra, leaning backward against the sink. “So why is it that you're out there trying to play step-mommy when you just ain't got it in you?”

“Excuse me?” This time Tamarra was offended.

“Oh, girl, please don't act like I just offended your character. You know I'm speaking the truth. And believe me, ain't nothing wrong with it. Some of us women are just not cut out to be step-mama. It's either our children or nobody's children. Ain't no sin in it. You have to love that child because it's one of God's commandments, but you don't have to be her step-mommy. And you can still love Maeyl, but it don't mean you have to be his wife.” Zelda paused to allow the words she had just spoken to sink into Tamarra's brain. “Ain't nothing wrong with y'all going back to just being friends.”

As the words saturated her mind and heart, Tamarra lowered her head. “But I want so badly to be that man's wife.” She pointed toward the door that separated them from the dining area of the restaurant. “He's a good man—a man that I love. And Zelda, I thought I'd never love again after divorcing my husband of fifteen years. I really felt that Maeyl was the man God had for me to take away all of my pain and bitterness.”

“Then I guess that was your first mistake. See, God's Word says that He sent us a comforter by way of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is our piece of God here on earth and our peace in God. So you looked toward a man to restore you instead of the person the Bible says is a restorer. No wonder God's removing Maeyl from your life.”

“What? What do you mean removing him from my life?”

“Don't be in denial, Tamarra.” Realizing that her from the hip manners were probably too hard for Tamarra's fragile state right now, Zelda toned down her disposition. “Look, Tamarra,” she placed her hand on Tamarra's shoulder, “you owe it to that man to be real. You don't want to deal with that daughter of his no more than Elizabeth Edwards wants to deal with that baby John Edwards is accused of fathering.”

In the midst of wanting to break down and cry, Tamarra chuckled at Zelda's last comparison.

“You know I'm right, and you know it's wrong for you to pretend that you do. Girl, we can't all be Tina Turner and take in Ike's kids when the mamma drops them off on the doorstep. It don't mean we don't have a heart. It means we are following our heart. I know plenty of women who try to hide their true feelings for the sake of keeping the man, but it ain't right. It ain't fair, and it ain't right. Don't you be one of those women. Sooner or later your true feelings will surface, and it will hinder that man's relationship with his daughter. He'll be too busy trying to walk on eggshells around you to give that little girl all the love and attention she needs from her daddy. Too many step-mothers and girlfriends control their man's relationship with the children he had from other relationships. Now that is what should be the sin. So don't be ashamed or think that you are less than a loving Christian woman of God just because you don't want to take on a relationship with a man who has children by another woman. It's those women out there who are faking it who should be ashamed.

Tamarra sniffed as she took in the Rhema word Zelda was delivering. “God sure can use you in His ministry to do kingdom work. You should consider coming back to New Day, or any church for that matter,” Tamarra said to Zelda as Zelda handed her a tissue to wipe away the few tears that had dropped from her eyes.

“Tamarra, yes I know what the Bible says about fellowshipping among those with like minds, et cetera. But think about it, I didn't have to be a member of New Day or any other church in order for Him to allow me to operate in His ministry. This right here, dear, is kingdom work. No offense, Tamarra, because I know you mean well, but it's Christians like you that make sinners like me believe the only place a sinner can get saved is in the church house and by the preacher man. God meets us in the very place of our need.” Zelda looked around. “Even if it's in the toilet stall.”

The two women cracked up laughing and embraced.

“Thank you, Zelda. Thank you so much,” Tamarra smiled as she cleaned her face. “You told me exactly what I needed to hear. Exactly what I already knew inside. Now how am I gonna go out there and tell the man I love?”

For the past week, Lorain had pretty much been estranged from her mother. With the new development involving Unique, she just couldn't deal with her mother, not right now. There were too many pieces of the puzzle that she had to fit together. If everything fit the way she thought it would, the facts of her life would definitely turn out to be stranger than fiction.

“God, this is too much,” Lorain said in a low whisper as she surfed the Internet, something she'd been doing for the past three days. She'd keyed in her credit card number more times than she swiped it on a weekend shoe shopping binge in an attempt to find out the needed information to verify what she thought to be true.

Personally, her gut feeling was all she needed to go by, but if she were ever going to speak on what she felt to be true, she knew that she would need tangible evidence. She'd gone to the
Columbus Dispatch
website and paid for some archived news articles that could verify her claim. She'd even located a website that, for a modest fee, could give her personal information on individuals such as their current address, previous address, even their neighbor's address.

“Bingo!” Lorain exclaimed after finding the final nail in the coffin. Finally, after three days of online researching, not only had she been able to verify her own untold story, but she'd retrieved and printed enough information to verify how her life related to Unique's as well—and to Mr. Leary's.

Everything seemed to be coming together in a way that could have only been orchestrated by God. And now that Lorain had all this information at her fingertips, she had no idea what to do with it.

“Now what, God?” she asked as she hit the button that would initiate the printing of the last document she had researched.

Lorain slowly stood up and straightened out her aching back. The pain was due to sitting for so many hours in her computer chair. She began walking it out by pacing the floor and thinking—and thinking—and pacing. Deep in her soul, she knew what she should do, what she would want someone to do for her, but there was a part of her that was too ashamed and embarrassed to have to face the details of a past she was regretful of. How could she even fix her lips to tell anyone, including the main person who truly deserved to know?

Lorain stopped her pacing, then walked over to the printer after hearing the last page print off. She retrieved the pages from the print tray, held it in her hands, and looked at it for a minute. The nail in the coffin indeed. She made her way back to her desk and picked up the blue three prong folder she'd labeled “My Life.” She placed it inside the folder, and then flung it back on her desk. It slid to the back of the desk and onto the floor. With the soreness in her back, she didn't feel like bending over to get it, so she decided to leave it there until she needed it. It would stay there, along with the other papers she'd collected for the last three days, until God ordered her next steps.

Deciding it was time she'd finally eat a decent meal, Lorain headed for the kitchen. She'd been so glued to her computer the last few days that she'd hardly eaten. She had been unable to tear herself away from the computer as it continued to spit out one piece of the puzzle after the next. She grabbed a couple of grapes from the fruit bowl and popped one in her mouth. As she opened the refrigerator, her doorbell rang. Looking outside her front room window, she noticed her mother's car in the driveway. She sighed and her shoulders slumped. Another unannounced visit from her mother couldn't be good.

“Hey, Mom,” Lorain tried to say in a perky tone as she opened the front door. Popping the second grape in her mouth, she looked up, swallowed it whole and began choking. She tried to cough it up, but it was stuck in her throat. She hunched over in a ball with her hands gripped around her neck like she was trying to squeeze the grape up. She couldn't breathe.

“Oh dear God!” she heard her mother cry out. “I'll call nine-one-one!”

Lorain didn't know how much time was passing by, but it felt like forever and a day. The very air she breathed had been ripped from her in a matter of seconds. Just before she felt as though she were going to black out, she felt a presence behind her. She then felt arms around her. She felt fists gripped under her breasts. Next she felt a repeating pumping pressure. The grape hit the floor. She felt the arms release her.

“Are you okay?” was all she heard before she blacked out, hitting the floor and squashing the poor little grape.

“What happened?” Lorain asked in a groggy voice after coming to.

“You choked on a grape, honey, but you're okay now,” Eleanor told her daughter as she stood over her with a smile on her face. She was delicately brushing her hands through Lorain's hair.

Lorain stared at her mother momentarily as if it had taken her a minute to figure out just exactly who she was. “Ma?”

“Yes, honey, it's me,” Eleanor confirmed.

Next, Lorain's eyes darted around the room. “Where am I? What's going on?” All Lorain saw were white walls. She thought for a moment about where she could possibly be, and then began to panic. “Ma, what have you done? “I told you I wasn't that kind of crazy. And you go commit me to the hospital, all because I didn't want to go shopping with you?”

Eleanor allowed Lorain to ramble on before she stopped her. “Lorain, what are you talking about? It's been almost two weeks since we had that conversation. You're talking like we just had it.”

“We did, didn't we?” A confused look flushed Lorain's face. Eleanor could tell that something wasn't right with her daughter.

“Hello, I'm Dr. Levington, the ER doctor on duty,” the tall woman said as she entered the room with a clipboard in hand. She looked like she should have made her career in the WNBA.

“Hi, Dr. Levington.” Eleanor stood and quickly approached the doctor. “What's wrong with my baby? I know my baby, and something ain't right.”

“That's what I wanted to talk about.” The doctor began flipping through the files. We took some X-rays of your daughter's head and an MRI—”

“Oh Lord. It's her brain. She's got brain damage or something, doesn't she?”

“Now, sweetie, calm down.” Broady stood up from the chair he'd been sitting in over in the back corner of the room. He walked over to Eleanor and embraced her. “Calm down and just listen to what the doctor has to say.”

“Ma, what's he doing here?” Lorain asked as she watched her mother be comforted by the man that had asked her to calm down. “Who is he?”

“What do you mean who is he?” Eleanor asked her daughter. “You know exactly who this is.”

“Lorain, it's me, Broady,” he said as he released Eleanor and looked at her. “You only met me briefly the other day, but I'm—”

Eleanor cut her fiancé off while charging toward Lorain. She was pointing an accusing finger. “Oh, I see what you're doing, young lady.” She then spoke to Broady while still charging at Lorain. “Don't even bother telling her who you are, Broady. She knows exactly who you are. You are the person who saved her life. If it weren't for the grace of God and you being there to give her the Heimlich maneuver, because the Lord knows I don't know how to do it, that grape would have killed her.” She was now speaking to her daughter again. “But I know what you're up to. And don't even think for a minute this little game of yours is going to—”

“Please, everybody, just calm down,” the doctor intervened. The doctor looked to Eleanor. “Ma'am, your daughter took a pretty hard fall and has suffered a minor concussion. Now that she has come to, I'd really like to run more tests, especially after what I've just seen. So I'm going to take the patient for some more testing.”

Upon doctor's orders, Lorain was taken from the hospital room. Both Eleanor, who was still skeptical, and Broady had lunch in the hospital cafeteria, then returned to Lorain's room where they waited. A couple of hours later, Lorain was returned to the room, the doctor returning shortly after that.

“So doctor, what's the verdict?” Eleanor didn't beat around the bush.

The doctor didn't beat around the bush either. “She's not playing a game,” the doctor replied. “From the results of all the testing we've done, more than likely your daughter is dealing with a selective memory,” she said to Eleanor.

“Selective memory?” Eleanor was confused.

“Yes, with selective memory, patients can remember certain things for the most part. It's usually traumatic events that they tend to forget.” The doctor then looked over to Broady. “For some reason or other, she probably really has no idea who this man is.”