Before I Break (20 page)

“Call 9-1-1,” I told her. “Avery’s in trouble.” I didn’t know this for a fact, but my gut told me something was wrong, and that was the only thing I could think of. As I said earlier, intuition is a very powerful thing, and I was learning not to doubt it.

“Honey, what’s going on?” she asked. She appeared by my side now but I was already running toward the door. She caught up to me, grabbed my arm and pulled me back. “What is going on?”

“Avery’s going to kill himself,” I told my mom. “He said something to me the other night that gives me every reason to believe so, just trust me. He’s not returning my texts or anything.”

“Have you called his mom?” my mom asked, suddenly looking pale.

“I’ll call her on the way.” I pulled out of my mom’s grab, grabbed the car keys off the table by the door and ran out to the car, hoping I could save my friend before it was too late.

I pulled into Avery’s house and ran straight up to the door. After Tina didn’t answer the phone when I called, I figured something must be terribly wrong, so I pounded on the door as loudly as possible, shouting, “Tina!” and hoped she could hear me.

How could I have let this happen? That was all I could think as I stood waiting on the porch for someone to come out.

The click of the door announced someone was there, and when it opened, there was Tina in a bath towel. She looked extremely confused and said, “Cyril? What’s going on?”

“Where’s Avery?” I asked.

“He left a little while ago,” she said, confusion still clear across her face. “Why, is there something going on? I thought you two…”

“We did,” I answered. “Well, I did, and I said some mean and terrible things that I shouldn’t have. I think you’re son is a danger to himself right now.”

“What—?”

“If the police come, have them stay, I’ll go look for him,” I said quickly. I ran down the porch steps, hoping I could get to him before he did something terrible. If he was going to kill himself, though, why did he leave his house? Maybe he didn’t want to be caught? All I knew was that I needed to get to him before it was too late.

And what I would find changed everything.

While sometimes life may not seem worth living,

I’ve learned that my purpose is to keep on giving.

I write to make smiles and dream to make reality,

And while I may have before, I would never end everything.

He broke my heart, but that’s okay,

Because tomorrow will be a brand new day.

And on that day I’ll be a star

Where he’ll see all I’ve done and wish he was there.

Goodbye, my old friend, our journey is done.

But mine is just beginning, see you, loved one.

I drove around town and couldn’t find Avery if my life depended on it—or his, for that matter. I was beginning to wish I had that psychic magnetism Odd did in that series where he saw dead people, because then I’d be able to find him. Now here I was, sitting in a random parking lot, completely unsure of what to do.

All of my life, I wanted to make wrongs right, and while many times I’d failed, this time I couldn’t. If my friend was going to kill himself and I couldn’t stop it, I would feel completely terrible.

My first thought was that he was out walking around trying to find a way to kill himself. I checked the bridges, highway, everywhere, and found him nowhere. I called him and got no answer again, and it made me worried that it might have been too late. There was nothing worse than the fear of your friend being dead. Well, besides it being your kid or something.

Avery’s life flashed before my eyes. I remembered the first day that I met him, when I took him to the bookstore, and the light bulb finally went off in my head. I texted Melissa quickly, telling her to meet me at the bookstore in ten minutes, because I had a feeling that was where he was going to be in a state of depression.

I drove down the highway back to Town Centre and when I arrived, I parked the car right outside the bookstore and ran inside. Just then, I found Melissa getting out of her car and heading my way.

“Hey!” she shouted. She ran up to me and hugged me tightly. “What’s going on?”

“It’s Avery,” I said in a panic. “We have to find him—”

Before I had the chance to finish my thought, Avery walked out of the bookstore, holding a bag of books, and when he saw us, he started walking away. I ran to catch up to him and said, “Avery, wait.”

“What?” he demanded. Town Centre was just about to be closed for the night, as it was almost 11, and Avery looked exhausted. The street lights were going to go out in a couple minutes and I needed to get him home.

“I thought you were going to hurt yourself,” I said, trying to make sense of this. He looked fine for the most part. Actually, he didn’t even look upset.

“Hurt myself?” Avery asked. “Or kill myself?” He shook his head in disgust and said, “Leave me alone. I need to get home.”

“Let us drive you,” Melissa said, seeming to realize to direness of the situation. “It’s too late to walk right now.”

“No,” he said, “Just leave me alone.”

Avery ran off and turned right down an alley and Melissa and I followed, hoping to catch him before he did something stupid. The lights were all going off because stores were closing, and a dark feeling in the pit of my stomach made me question being out this late.

We turned again and were now behind the bookstore, in a dark and empty alley, and Avery was on the ground crying. The site disturbed me because I knew this was my fault. I ran up to him and bent down beside him, saying, “I’m so sorry, Avery.” Tears formed my eyes, too, and the emotional state of the situation was finally starting to get to me. “I’m so sorry for everything I said and did.”

Then, out of nowhere, a voice said, “You’re going to be.”

I froze. Glancing up, I saw a guy with a hood over his head, watching us. At first I first I didn’t understand, but then my eyes met the gun in his hand and my heart stopped. Avery’s eyes found the guy too and he jumped up, looking as terrified as I was beginning to feel.

“Uh…guys,” Melissa said. “We should get going.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” the voice said, raising the gun and pointing it at us. There was no way to run now, not with a guy pointing a gun at us. My blood went cold and I met my friends’ eyes, and both of them looked as scared as I was right now.

This was like something in a movie. This couldn’t be real. But I knew all too well that it was true, that this guy really was pointing a gun at us and probably would shoot.

“What do you want with us? Money?” I asked, suddenly finding my voice.

The guy laughed and even through all the black, I knew how familiar that laugh was. “I don’t want your damn money. I want you faggots gone.”

Pulling back his hood, Melissa and Avery gasped and my breath caught in my throat.

“No…” I said, hoping to God it wasn’t true.

It couldn’t be…but the voice. The gay slur. And now seeing his face.

It was Jake.

“Jake, listen to me,” I said calmly, “You don’t have to do this.”

My whole body was shaking and my heart was ready to explode out of my chest. The gun was aimed directly at me and I was praying silently that he didn’t shoot. The smile on his face told me that he was planning on it.

He stood right where he was, not giving any of us a chance to move. He smirked and said, “I’m pretty sure I do, pretty boy. Don’t you think?” He held the gun tighter, and went on. “You left me for this fag.”

Avery held onto Melissa’s arms and she held onto mine now. The tension here was high, as were the risks, and I needed to try to get us out of it. This was what my intuition was warning me of. What would have happened if we weren’t here?

“I didn’t,” I said, “I left you as a friend because you were being an asshole. There’s a huge difference, Jake.”

“Shut up!” he screamed and a shot rang out of the gun. It shot a nearby garbage can and not us, thankfully, but then he aimed it right back at us. “Don’t even think about moving, you little shits!”

“Let them go,” I said softly, forming a plan in mind. If I could get the other two out of here, I could probably convince Jake to calm down and not hurt any of us. Clearly he had mental health issues that I was not aware of beforehand. “Please, let them go and you can shoot me.”

“Cyril!” Avery screamed.

“Shut the fuck up!” Jake screamed in pure rage. There was no humanity left in him. Jake, my old best friend, was gone for good now. “You think this is about you? You’re not that damn special. And neither is he.”

It all happened in the blink of an eye. The gunshot went off and Avery cried out as he hit the ground. I jumped toward Jake to cry and catch the gun and another went off, getting me right in my leg. A shout rose from my throat and rang through the air as I fell down to the ground, the pain coursing through my leg.

Another shot rang out and I watched as Melissa was able to get away before the gun hit her. Instead, in the midst of an angry rage, he shot out again, not at me, but at Avery.

“No!”

A couple more rounds went off before Jake took off, running through the alley and leaving Avery and I to our deaths. Staring down at my leg, it was covered in blood and I could hardly see my flesh anymore. I cried out as I watched Avery, lying still on the ground but still looking as if he was breathing.

Because of the gun wound, I couldn’t walk, but I crawled the best I could over to Avery and tried to compose myself. When I got by his side, I almost threw up at the sight.

There was a gunshot right in his stomach, probably damaging some important organs. Another had hit his leg, and his arm was dripping blood all over the ground. His clothes were soaking red from all of the blood, absorbing it like a sponge. Two shots hit his rib cage but thankfully missed his heart. Or so I thought.

“Avery,” I cried softly, being careful not to move his body. I listened to his heart and felt his pulse, and I cried out when I realized he was still alive. “Help! Someone, we’ve been shot!”

My voice cracked and in the distance I heard sirens. I lay down beside Avery, grabbing his other arm that wasn’t shot and cried my heart out. Melissa, moments later, came running back just in time.