Before The Storm (6 page)

“Oh! Are you done?”

“Duh! What could be worse than all I’ve said?”

“Well, I didn’t know. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, you’d say something else and they would!”

“Well,” I pause and pretend to ponder for a second. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s everything!”

“Well, in that case!” she says, jumping up from the table. “I have tons to say!”

She pushes back the chair from the table a little harder than necessary. It wobbles a little like it might fall over but it doesn’t. Yikes.

“First of all,” she says, wailing her tiny arms all over her head like a crazy person,

“your dad is even more insane than I thought! Sending you off to some boot camp for troubled teens just because you happened to be having some weird and kind of creepy thing going on with your stepbrother.” I shoot her an annoyed look and she backtracks a little. “I don’t mean creepy in a bad way. I mean it in a cute way!”

“Something can be creepy in a cute way?”

“Of course!” she makes her way to the other side of the table and kneels down next to me. “I’m so sorry Tori. I’m so sorry that all of this happened to you, and is happening to you, because honestly, out of everyone I know, you deserve it the least.”

The words tug at my emotions and I pull her into my arms for the second time today. “What am I going to do?” I ask softly into her curly hair.

“I don’t know,” she says as she pulls away gently, “but that’s the best part. You don’t have to do anything. It’s not a You, it’s an Us again. Your best friend is back, and whatever it is that has to get done we’ll figure it out together.”

I smile down at her, and for what feels like the first time in so long, something actually feels real again. But it doesn’t last long, because, let’s face it, no matter how bright a glimmer of hope is in a bad situation it still isn’t enough to keep the darkness of reality out of sight for too long.

“You can’t tell anyone,” I tell her firmly. “No one. You aren’t even supposed to know.”

“Which part?” she asks slowly.

“Any of it! If they find out I’m telling people they can send me back at any time. I had to sign something saying I wouldn’t.”

She gasps, “They can make you do that?”

“I’m not eighteen. They can make me do anything. So you have to promise me.

Not even your mom. You just have to.”

“I promise,” she says, sounding a little sad. “No one. God, this situation is so incredibly fucked up.”

“Tell me about it,” I say, looking down at my coffee cup. “But I have to tell Nathan, I just have too. I have no idea what he knows or doesn’t know and I trust him to keep his mouth shut. I just don’t know how to, you know? It’s not like it’s exactly the easiest conversation to have. Not to mention that I have no idea if my phone is being monitored or what. I mean my aunt seems cool enough, but who knows anymore. And it’s not like I can exactly go knock on his front door. So that leaves only school.”

Angelina looks away and stands up straight. “Well, I guess I’ll just get myself some more coffee then. How about you best friend? Do you need a refill?”

She grabs her mug in one swift motion and makes her way over to the other side of the dinning room and around the island into the kitchen.

“Oh no you don’t,” I say, jumping up after her and grabbing my own mug almost as an afterthought. “I know that look! And that voice! What aren’t you telling me?”

“I have no idea what you are speaking of,” she says, grabbing the coffee pot and refilling her mug, her hand shaking the whole time. “I know nothing.”

“Give me that!” I say, grabbing the pot from her before she has the chance to drop it all over the floor and shattering it into a million tiny pieces.

“You always get clumsy when you’re nervous,” I announce.

She looks appalled at such a statement. “I do not!”

“Do too!” I reach over and finish pouring her coffee for her with little effort.

“Now tell me what you know.”

Angelina doesn’t look me in the eye, but instead stares at her mug of coffee like suddenly it’s the most fascinating thing she’s ever laid eyes on in her entire life.

“Angelina,” I say, allowing a warning tone to creep into my voice.

“Well,” she says slowly, allowing herself to look at me out of the corner of her eye, “it’s just you can’t forget that you’ve been gone a while. I mean, three months probably felt like forever in there, but imagine if you were here waiting, not knowing where someone you care about so much has gone off to. It was probably really confusing for him, you disappeared just like that. I mean, who knows what was going on in that mind of his. He was always kind of a loose cannon anyway, wasn’t he? Haha!” she says, laughing at her own attempt at a joke.

Rambling on about nonsense and making lame attempts at jokes are two more sure signs that she’s scared to tell me something.

“So what is it you’re trying to tell me?” I prompt her even further.

“Just that maybe some things may have changed since the last time you were here, that’s all. I mean, that’s the way life works, right? Things change and so do people.

It’s sad, but it doesn’t mean the world is going to end!”

“I guess,” I say, getting bored of her game and wishing she would just come out and say whatever it is that’s on her mind. “Now will you please just tell me what the hell is going on!” I say, growing even more frustrated. Anything having to do with Nathan tends to have this effect on me.

“Welllll…” Each letter of each word she says seems to be dragging on forever.

“The thing about Nathan is that..wellll…”

“Yes? What!?

And just as Angelina opens her mouth to give me what I’m craving, the sound of my aunt’s voice fills the hotel, “Hello, Victoria?! Where are you?”

Perfect timing. Annoyance instantly fills my body.

“I’m in here,” I call out before realizing she may not know where here is. “In the kitchen!” I quickly add.

Angelina smirks and shrugs at me like, oh well, what can I do, I tried to tell you, not my fault, we got interrupted. I shoot her a look that lets her knows this conversation isn’t over. She frowns again.

It’s just my luck that my Aunt Jenna would come in right when I’m about to get important and useful information about Nathan. If I had known how much worse my luck was about to get perhaps the Nathan issue would have been an after thought. Because when my aunt does enter the kitchen a few seconds later she isn’t alone. Standing right next to her is Missy.

Chapter Six

Missy looks the same, only skinnier, if that’s even possible. Her hair is perfectly highlighted and her makeup is flawless. She’s wearing a tight-fitting blue dress that falls just above her knees and fits her curves perfectly. It’s paired with black high heels and a gold bracelet that probably cost more than anything my father has ever bought me in my life.

“Look who stopped by to see us,” my aunt Jenna says slowly, at least having the respect to look a little uncomfortable.

Missy, on the other hand, seems to be completely unfazed by the fact that she’s here. Instead, she’s looking around the hotel suite curiously, taking in every inch of the place, like she’s trying to figure out how such a wondrous place came to be about. I almost forget that she’s not the most intelligent one for a second.

“Oh,” my Aunt Jenna says, spotting Angelina for the first time, “and who’s this?”

“Angelina!” Angelina says, not missing a beat. She jumps forward and sticks her hand out to my Aunt. “I’m Victoria’s best friend.”

“Oh,” my Aunt Jenna says, allowing herself to smile down at the little girl in front of her. “Well, it’s very nice to meet you Angelina.”

“So nice to meet you too! And so nice of you to take care of Victoria these last few months. It seems like she’s built herself a nice little life here.”

This is the great thing about Angelina. She never misses a beat when I need her the most. She knows right away that I can’t speak because of Missy’s presence, which has taken me off-guard. And even more, she acts like I’ve told her nothing about my real situation in front of my aunt and stepmom. It’s refreshing to know that although so many things have changed, some things never will.

“Well, thank you Angelina,” my Aunt Jenna says, clearly taken aback. “It has been a pleasure having Victoria here with me.”

I can tell that it makes my aunt uneasy having to lie to Angelina, which makes me respect her a little more instantly. It also makes me like her a little bit more too.

“Well,” Angelina says, grabbing her coat off the chair, “ I should get going back to school! My free period is almost over!”

She pulls me in for a hug, and as she does whispers in my ear, “Call me later and we’ll figure out a plan of action to attack everything.” Then she turns around and heads toward the door. “So nice to have met you!” she calls out as she opens the door, stepping out into the hall and shutting it softly behind her, not acknowledging Missy presence in any way, shape, or form.

Have I mentioned how much I completely and totally love my best friend?

“Well,” my Aunt Jenna says, still looking at the closed door Angelina just went through, “she seems nice.”

“Oh, she is,” I say confidently.

I remind myself that I made a promise a very long time ago that I would never let my dad or Missy see me appear weak after what they’ve done to me, after what they’ve put me through.

“Hello Victoria,” Missy says.

It’s the first time she’s even looked at me since she stepped foot in the place my aunt calls home. I try to read her face for any type of emotion, but it’s blank. Trying to read Missy is like trying to read a closed book.

“Hello,” I say, painting the same exact expression on my face. No use in giving her even a little satisfaction.

“Well, why don’t we all go sit in the living room, shall we?” my aunt says in a way that I assume is trying to break the obvious tension in the room.

“Sure,” Missy says as a polite smile covers her face. A smile that seems tighter than the last time I saw her. I can’t help but think she may have gotten a little work done.

Wouldn’t surprise me.

Once in the living room Missy sits on a chair toward the front of the room and I choose one of the two large sofas placed on either side of the huge coffee table in the center of the room. I expect my aunt to sit on the other sofa across from me, but to my surprise she makes her away around the coffee table and places her small frame down right next to me. Missy watches, but says nothing.

“Can I get you something to drink?” my aunt asks politely, smoothing her hair down as she speaks.

“Oh no,” Missy says, raising her eyebrows. Yup, has definitely had some work done. “I actually can’t stay very long, I have an important tea to get to this afternoon.”

Of course she does.

“I just thought we should all touch base,” Missy continues, averting her eyes back and forth from me to my aunt.

She pauses before speaking again. “Can I be frank here?”

“Please do,” my aunt says back, just as stale. “I think we’re way past the point of handling this in a polite manner, don’t you?” I just like my aunt more and more.

Missy looks taken aback for a second, but recovers quickly. “I just wanted to make sure Victoria was clear on the terms of her release.”

“She is,” my Aunt Jenna says. “They were talked about in detail before she left.”

“I know,” Missy says slowly. “I just…look, I know I can’t begin to understand what you’ve been through this last year. Losing your mother at such a young age is something I can’t imagine. And then having your father find someone new so fast must have been extremely hard for you. And what led to you and Nathan’s…um…situation is in no doubt partly something we are responsible for. But only partly Victoria.”

And I want to hit her. I swear to God, more than anything else in that moment, I want to get up, walk across the room, and slap her right in her face. It’s clear she’s been in contact with Mrs. Newington as well. She has no idea what she’s talking about.

Instead, she’s just acting like she does. I almost ask myself for a minute what happened to her? Because the Missy I remember was at least a little bit of an okay person. I quickly realize I don’t really need to ask myself that question in order to figure out the answer.

My father, that’s what happened to her.

I want to tell her to shut up, that she knows nothing about me, nothing about Nathan and I, and she sure as hell knows nothing about my mother. But I don’t, because I can hear Eric’s voice in my head calmly reassuring me, calmly letting me know that I have to play along with their game, and their rules, at least for a little while.

“I’ve had many meetings with Victoria’s therapist from the wellness center and have been in contact with them about continuing her outreach therapy. I assure you she has every intention of following through with her end of the agreement based upon her release.”

She does? I didn’t even know this. In fact, I didn’t have the slightest idea about this. But I’m smart enough not to let this show. Instead, I just nod along with what my Aunt Jenna is saying as if to say, see, someone actually has my best interest at heart you selfish, easily influenced bitch.

Missy, of course, looks completely and totally unconvinced. “I’m sure she does,”

she pauses. “I just really need to stress the fact that Nathan can not know where Victoria has been for the past three months. Just like everyone else, he needs to believe that she was off living with you, figuring things out for a while, clearing her head if you will.”

So Nathan really has no idea what happened to me or where I’ve been? Is that even possible? I mean he has to know that I wouldn’t just up and leave him like that without saying a word, right? Maybe he’s just telling my dad and Missy what they want to hear, and that deep down he knows that I’m coming back for him, deep down he knows something bigger is going on here.

“I have no intention of telling Nathan anything,” I say, speaking up finally. “So you don’t have any reason to worry. I want to move on with my life just as much as you and my father want me to.”

This is a complete and total lie. I know it is, but I say the words anyway. Of course I’m planning to tell Nathan the truth. He’s the only guy I’ve ever met in my life whose makes me feel alive. He deserves to know the truth. He, at least, should get this much from me, if nothing else.

Besides, I know I can trust him to not tell anyone. This is Nathan we’re talking about. He’s kept more of my secrets in the short time that I’ve known him than anyone else, except Angelina of course. Besides, I know once we see one another again it will be like no time has passed.

“That’s refreshing to hear,” Missy says, looking at me as if she’s trying to figure out if I’m telling her the truth or just saying what I think she wants to hear, “because he’s in a very good and healthy place in his life right now and I would hate for anything or anyone to complicate that for him.”

A good and healthy place? What’s that supposed to mean? What we had was in a very good place until they dragged me out of my bed in the middle of the night and shipped me off to the loony bin.

“And Victoria is headed in the very same direction,” my aunt says, not missing a beat.

Yeah, I’m headed in the very same direction!

“She’s only worried and concerned about what’s best for herself and her future,”

my aunt continues.

Exactly! My future!

“Well,” Missy says, appearing a little bit more upbeat, “I’m glad to hear it. It would be really nice for her to prove to us all how much things have changed for her.”

Yeah! I’m going to prove all these fools wrong! Who do they think they are anyway, doubting me? Everyone will see soon enough!

“Plus,” Missy says, “I’m sure seeing Victoria will affect Nathan less now that he’s in a relationship.”

Yeah! I’m sure seeing me will…wait what?! Did she just say Nathan is in a relationship?! No, she couldn’t have. I must have heard her wrong. Only I can tell by the way she’s searching my face for some type of reaction that I didn’t. No, it couldn’t be. Is that what Angelina was scared to tell me? A relationship with whom? I immediately want to do horrible things to whoever this woman is. The amount of pain and jealousy I feel in my body feels like a thousand knives stabbing at me from all different directions.

I can’t show it though. Victoria, you can’t show it, I keep reminding myself. I somehow force myself to keep my composer, even though I’m dying inside. Instead of showing any emotion I put the same mask on my face that I learned to wear instead of displaying my emotions.

“That’s very nice for him. I hope he’s happy.” The amount of control in my voice surprises even me.

Missy holds my gaze for what seems like forever before she finally nods and then stands. “Well then, I’m glad we got that all settled,” she says, smoothing out the bottom of her skirt and picking her Gucci purse up from the spot next to her on the chair. “I really am running late, so I must get going.”

“Of course. Thanks for stopping by,” my Aunt Jenna says, not sounding like she means it at all.

And just like that, Missy is gone as quickly as she came in. And I’m left standing there, trying to figure out how things got even more fucked up than they already were.

***

“Hello?” I hiss into my perfectly shiny new iPhone later that night.

I tried with all I had to find a minute to get in touch with Angelina after Missy left, but my aunt decided we needed to do everything together for the rest of the day.

First, we organized all my new clothes and accessories, putting them all into their own separate places, neat and orderly. Then she wanted to have dinner together. And when I say have dinner, I mean cook it together and then talk about everything that happened that day at the hotel. We made homemade macaroni and cheese, garlic breadsticks, and a homemade chocolate cake for dessert. Needless to say, it was delicious. And on any other night I might have enjoyed the whole bonding experience, but all I could think about the entire time we were together was the fact that Nathan has a girlfriend.

Girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend. The word is enough to make me feel like I’m going to go completely and totally over the edge. Maybe Missy means like a girl who is a friend. And by a relationship maybe she means a friendship, and just forgot the F or something.

I tried to secretly text Angelina to find out what the fuck is going on, but she refuses to tell me anything over a text message. She said to call her as soon as I could, which has been completely and totally impossible until this moment. Unless, of course, you count the three minutes I was alone in the bathroom, but even then my aunt was impatiently calling my name after about thirty seconds.

I finally got my aunt off to bed at around 11:30, after we sat down to watch “The Notebook” together, which is like the longest movie in the history of the world and somehow felt even longer tonight. I tried to say something about how I was planning on going back to school and had to be up early, but she laughed it off, saying if I really felt that tired I could just pass out during the movie on the couch. And to be honest, I’m not really at the point yet where I feel comfortable enough to tell her no, that I want to go to bed and not watch a movie, especially not a movie that’s that amazing and completely romantic of a love story. All it did was make me stress out and overanalyze the Nathan situation even more, not to mention I had to pretend the whole entire time that nothing was wrong, and that I was happy spending time with her.

To make matters worse, now Angelina isn’t picking up her phone. I’ve called her like seven times and texted her to call me, but have received no response back. Mo’s watching me pace back and forth like maybe I’m even scarier than he originally thought.

Finally, at around four forty-five in the morning I hear my iPhone vibrating next to me on the bed. I practically jump up, clicking the accept call button on the first ring.

“Hi,” Angelina says sleepily on the other end of the phone.

“Hi? Hi?” I spit back at her in a whisper. “No, not hi. What the fuck is going on?

Girlfriend? Girlfriend? How is that even possible?”

“Tori.” Angelina’s voice is calm on the other end of the line and I can just picture her all warm and snuggled up in her bed without a care in the world. Well, except for her slightly unstable best friend on the other side of the phone. “Just sit down and breathe.

Are you sitting down?”

I force myself to inhale and exhale deeply, swinging my feet over the side of the bed so they’re touching the floor. “I’m sitting,” I say as I brace myself for the pain that I know is going to come from the question I’m about to ask. “Who is she?”