Read Beggars and Choosers Online
Authors: Catrin Collier
âAfter Christmas I'll take a day off work. We'll dress in our best clothes, catch an early train to Cardiff and buy a wedding ring. When we return, we'll tell everyone that we married there by special licence.'
âLie to everyone?'
âIt won't entirely be a lie. We'll see a solicitor, change your name to Evans by deed poll and I'll make a will leaving everything I own to you. There'll be enough to keep you and Harry if anything happens to me.'
âIf anyone from Pontypridd heard that I was married to you they'd think I'd committed bigamy. Besides your father knows I'm married. We'd be living in sin ...'
âMy father has even less respect for organised religion and preaching designed to keep the working classes in their place than I do. And, would us living without the blessing of a parson and a meaningless piece of paper be any worse than you living with the chapel's blessing with Owen Bull?'
âNothing could be worse than life with Owen,' she said vehemently.
âSo what is your solution? That we ignore what happened last night? Because I warn you now, Sali, I can't, and I refuse even to try.'
She glanced at the clock. âThe others will be wondering where we are and the dishes aren't even washed.'
âIt's more important that we finish this discussion than wash the dishes. Do you really expect me to carry on living in this house, day after day, as if last night never happened?'
âNo,' she answered quietly, so quietly, he wondered if she'd really spoken or he'd simply heard what he wanted her to say.
âThen what do you suggest we do?'
âI don't know. Please, Lloyd, I need time to think about what you've said. Time to find out what I feel ... why are you smiling?'
âBecause you are becoming your own person and not a doormat.' He raised her from the chair. âCome on, sweetheart, I'll help you with the dishes, take you to the bazaar and walk you home. And,' his smile broadened, âbegin a courtship that will hopefully result in many, many repetitions of last night. After all your bedroom is next door to mine.'
âI couldn't ... your father ... your brothers ... it wouldn't be right. It would be â'
âPerfect,' he contradicted, âif you'd allow me to make you my common-law wife.'
She thought of her father and how shocked he would have been if he'd ever discovered that she could contemplate such a thing. âI'll not live in sin with you, Lloyd.'
âThen we'll just have to carry on sneaking around until you change your mind.'
âI won't change my mind.'
He pulled her close and kissed her. A brutal savage kiss that made her head swim and weakened her limbs. As she reeled helplessly in his arms, he swept her off her feet. âYour room or mine?'
âLloyd ...'
âMine, I think.'
âDo you think you could love me?'
They were lying in Lloyd's bed, Sali's head resting on his chest, his hand stroking her hair.
âI wouldn't be here if I didn't.'
âEnough to live with me openly?'
She looked up at him. âIf I did, that would make me what my uncle and Owen told me I was. A whore.'
âIt's just a name, Sali.'
âA name I don't ever want associated with my father's daughter.'
âGiven the circumstances, your father would have understood.'
âWould he?'
He stripped the bedclothes away and turned up the lamp. She didn't make any attempt to cover herself and he smiled down at her. âI want your heart.' He kissed her left breast.
âYou have it.'
âAnd all of your mind that a lover has a right to lay claim to.' He kissed her forehead. âAnd your body.'
âYou have that now.' She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close, but he drew back and kissed the flat of her stomach.
âAnd I want to watch you grow big with my child, because he or she will carry our love into the future. I want to live with you day in, year out, until we grow old and grey together. And if the only way we can do that is in sin as you put it, then that's the way it will have to be.'
âNo, Lloyd.'
âI'll wear you down,' he threatened.
âYou can try, but you won't succeed.'
âThis won't be the last time we'll lie like this.'
âI know.'
âSo we sneak around?'
âI love you, Lloyd,' she pleaded. âIsn't that enough for the moment?'
âIt will have to be, if that's all you're prepared to give me, for the moment.' He swung his legs over the side of the bed and pulled her up. âCome on, woman, we have a bazaar to go to and a son to collect.'
âA son!'
âIf it were up to me, I'd adopt Harry and make you both Evanses tomorrow.'
She turned aside so he couldn't see the expression in her eyes.
âIf you don't want me to â'
âIf it were ever possible, you'd make a wonderful father.'
âAnd Harry is a son any man would be proud to have.'
âPlease, Lloyd, whatever you do, don't mention it to him. The only family life he has ever known has been here with your father, brothers and you. And he's so close to all of you I'm afraid that if it came to an end he would â'
âIt won't.'
âIf Owen finds us ...'
âHe won't, Sali.' He picked up her clothes and handed them to her, wishing he were as confident as he sounded. First Connie, now Sali, was he destined always to fall in love with women he couldn't marry?
âTuppence, please.'
âYou look blue, Dai.' Lloyd dropped two pennies into the hand of the man sitting behind the card table outside the entrance to the Catholic hall.
âUnderneath this coat I'm the colour of a baboon's ... rear end,' he amended hastily when he saw Sali. âHere're your tickets, keep them to claim your free cup of tea, Lloyd.'
After the bitter cold darkness of Trinity Street, Sali found the blazing gaslights, noisy crowd, heat and mingling odours of tea, coffee, toffee apples, egg sandwiches and sweat overwhelming. Lloyd pushed ahead through the crowd but she hung back, surveying the room. Trestle tables had been set up and decorated with garlands of ivy, sprigs of holly, tinsel, and red, green and yellow painted paper friezes. Makeshift poles made from broom handles had been slung above them to support homemade banners and she realised there was little difference between a Catholic and Methodist bazaar. They both had the same kinds of stalls.
White Elephant, Homemade Cakes, Good Used Ladies' Clothes, New Knitted Goods, Ornamental Bric-a-Brac, Household Goods, Toys, Books, Jams, Jellies and Chutneys, Jewels â intrigued by the thought of jewels in a Tonypandy bazaar, she stepped close to the table to see rows of necklaces and bracelets strung from cheap glass beads interspersed with pieces of old-fashioned, tarnished paste.
âSee a wedding ring you like?' Lloyd whispered in her ear.
âSsh, someone will hear.'
âGood God! There's Joey.' Lloyd burst out laughing at the sight of his youngest brother in a white baker's hat and apron, standing behind a stall labelled âMouthwatering Homemade Sweets'.
âThe sweets are sticky,' Joey snapped, as they approached.
Sali saw that it wasn't just the apron that had amused Lloyd. A sour-faced, middle-aged woman, who looked as though she was about to burst out of her corsets at any moment, was standing alongside Joey.
âAnd there's me thinking that miracles never happen in Tonypandy. Joey and Victor warned me that you'd be putting in an appearance, Lloyd, but I didn't believe them for a minute.' Father Kelly gripped Lloyd's shoulder and pumped his hand enthusiastically up and down. âDoesn't Joey look grand in that outfit?' He pushed his hand into his pocket. âI'll have a pennyworth of that coconut ice there please, Joey.'
Joey ceased scowling at Lloyd long enough to pick up a paper cornet.
âNot with your fingers.' The woman beside Joey rapped his knuckles with a silver spoon before handing him a pair of sugar tongs.
âI see you've your helper well under control, Miss Phillips.'
âI try, Father,' she sighed with a martyred air. âBut like all men, he's more thumbs than fingers and has trouble remembering the rules of basic hygiene.'
âWasn't it kind of Miss Phillips to offer to man the sweet stall with Joey when Mrs Kavanagh said she couldn't manage without Katie's help with the refreshments.' Father Kelly took a penny from his cassock pocket and handed it to Joey in return for the paper cone. âMrs Kavanagh's a dab hand at making the tea, coffee and lemonade, and little Katie is so light on her feet, she scurries around those tables like a wee fairy. No one's had to wait more than five minutes for a cup of tea since she took over the tables.' Father Kelly beamed at Sali. âAnd you must be the new housekeeper? Victor and Joey keep singing your praises. I gather you are also the mother of the beautiful boy Victor is carrying around so proudly. I'm very pleased to make your acquaintance. Mrs Jones, isn't it?'
âIt is.' Sali couldn't help smiling as she shook the hand of the short, fat priest. He not only looked genuinely pleased to meet her, his eyes twinkled with a glint of boyish mischief that reminded her of Geraint and Gareth.
âLast I saw of them, they were both waiting outside Father Christmas' grotto. I don't know who was the more excited, Victor or young Harry.' He waved towards a stage at the end of the room. Curtains had been drawn across it and an inexpertly painted cardboard sign proclaiming âFather Christmas One Penny' pinned to the folds. âIt's a long queue, but I'm sure they'll be along soon.' He solemnly presented Sali with the paper cornet. âThat's for bringing a stray sheep back to my fold, even if it is only to the hall for the one night. I know how hard you must have worked to get Lloyd here.'
âI couldn't possibly â'
âSure you could. And it's by way of a bribe. Victor and Joey say you're a fabulous cook and poor old parish priests like myself always welcome an invitation to a home-cooked meal. Even if we do have to eat it with Marxists.'
Uncertain how to take the priest's sense of humour and his references to Marxism, and confused by Lloyd's smiles, Sali was too bemused to do anything other than take the cornet.
âYou matchmaking Joey with Miss Phillips then, Father?' Lloyd asked dryly.
The priest stood back and watched them as they served customers. âJoey could do worse. She's amassed a tidy bit teaching over the years, or so I've been told. And she's a fine steady woman; an older head might curb some of his wild ways. Now, will you look at that?' The priest shook his head as Joey winked at a well-endowed girl with curly hair who was clearing teacups from the long tables set in front of the stage. âSomething tells me that boy will be saying more than a few paternosters and Hail Mary's when he confesses what he's thinking right this minute about pretty little Katie Kavanagh. Poor Miss Phillips, I think I'll give up matchmaking. There are too many disappointments in it.'
âA lot more water will flow down the River Rhondda before Joey walks up the aisle with a girl, Father.'
âWe'll see.' The priest looked Lloyd up and down, âBut there's Victor and you to go first. It's a sin for fine young men like you two not to be married. You have no right to be enjoying life the footloose way you do. Every man needs a bit of misery with which to contrast his happiness and who better to give it to him than a nagging wife?'
âNot all wives nag.' Lloyd glanced slyly at Sali.
âYour mother didn't, to be sure, but then she was a saint. So, should I be dusting the marriage service off for you just yet?'
âIf I find a woman who'll have me, and that is an “if”, Father, we won't be marrying in church.'
âYou and your heathen Marxist services.'
âYou know full well there's no such thing.'
âI've no doubt that your father is writing one this very minute. I don't suppose there's any chance of you coming to vigil mass tonight? The singing will improve no end if you add your fine voice to the choir.'
âYou don't suppose right, Father.'
âWhat about you, Mrs Jones?'
âI'm not a Catholic, Father Kelly.'
âDon't let that be stopping you. God welcomes everyone in his house even, as I keep telling Lloyd here and his father, heathens. Vigil mass is a nice service, and the singing will be something special, although it would be better with Lloyd. So if you could coax him to change his mind, I'd be grateful.'
âDo you allow just anyone to worship at your church, Father?' Sali asked in bewilderment.
âAnyone who knocks the door and wants to come in. On two legs that is. We had a dog once, but it bit the organist.'
âObviously a Calvinist Methodist dog come up from Trinity church to spy,' Lloyd remarked.
âWhy the confusion, Mrs Jones?' asked the priest. âDoesn't our Bible teach us that God has a forgiving nature? I'd welcome the devil himself to a service if I thought I had the faintest chance of converting him.'
âMrs Jones is used to Methodist ways, Father Kelly,' Lloyd explained.
âMethodists. Ah now, there's a big word.' The priest rolled his eyes and looked heavenwards. âGod in his wisdom has made us practically neighbours in this street and I understand his purpose. We all have to be taught to love our fellow man. And I have learned to forgive the Methodists many things, but not their policy on drink. God would never have created fine whisky if he didn't intend for us to taste a drop or two once in a while. And here comes your boy, Mrs Jones.' He waved at Harry who was sitting on Victor's shoulders clutching a paper cornet and a folded comic under his arm. âDid you see Father Christmas, Harry?'
âYes.' Harry grinned from ear to ear as he unfolded his fist. âAnd look what he gave me, Mam.' He proudly showed her a penny whistle.