Beginnings of the Heart (21 page)

After Cole was done with basic training, he went straight to AIT. Once there, we were able to call more frequently. When we did talk it was so good to hear his voice I often would just let him ramble until he asked me a question about Victoria or me.

One of these conversations took place at the end of October, and like all of them, they started out with Cole speaking to his parents and when they were done someone would hand the phone to me. This time Cecelia came in and put the phone on speaker.

“Is she there with you, Mom?” Cole asked.

“Hey, how are you doing?” I asked, excited to hear his voice like always.

“I'm good. So I was talking with my parents, and I wanted to speak to you as well.”

“Okay, what about?” I asked, confused why we were doing this on speaker phone.

“Well I just found out I'm going to be home on December seventeenth and I'll be on a thirty day leave. After that, I'm going to be deployed to the Middle East. Before I go, I want to get married, which means you and my mom are going to have to get a lot of stuff together in a very short time, if all of this is okay with you.”

My head was spinning with all of the information I had just been given. None of it came as a real surprise, but now he had dates for coming home and then for being deployed, it was a lot to take in.

“Umm, it's fine with me. When did you want to do it?” I asked.

“I thought Christmas Eve would be the perfect time. Don't plan anything big, something small would be perfect and just family. I really don't want the whole town turning out to this.” He said.

“We'll keep it small. And I think Christmas Eve would be perfect. We'll figure it all out and I'll let you know what we plan.” I smiled at Cecelia.

“Alright, now take me off speaker and we can talk. Love you, Mom.” Cole said.

“Take care of yourself, Cole.” Cecelia said and then left the room.

“How are things going with you, Morgan? Have I upset your beautiful mind or are you okay?” Cole asked, hearing his concern even through the phone.

“I'm fine. You're never going to believe what your daughter did.”

I filled him in on everything, including the mud bath Victoria had taken in the driveway the other day.

After we hung up I went out to the kitchen to see his parents. Cecelia already had lists started, and she and Mark's heads were bent toward one another looking at one of them. They both glanced up when I walked into the room and smiled in unison.

“How do you really feel about all of this? It's a bit of a shock.” Cecelia said.

“I'm actually okay. We both wanted to get married before he had to go anywhere. I just didn't think it would be this soon. So, tell me what you need from me.”

We were all very quickly mired in plans and lists of things to do. Over the next few hours we had everything decided and only had to wait on a few questions we needed to have answered by someone else.

It was decided we would be married in the living room in front of the Christmas tree where Cole had proposed and then would have a party to celebrate right after. The guest list was small as promised, and we discovered Cecelia had missed her true calling and should have been a party planner.

The only thing left to do was tell my family I was going to be getting married in a little over two months. I wished Cole had been here to help me with the announcement, but he wasn't and so it was up to me.

I drove out to their house the next day to visit and talk to them. After the initial greetings and exclamations over how big Victoria was getting were through, I took a deep breath and hoped my courage didn't fail me.

“I talked to Cole last night and he's going to be home in December for leave and then he's deploying to the Middle East.”

“Oh, well…” my Dad began.

“But there's something he wants to do before he deploys.” I rushed on before I lost my nerve. “We're going to get married on Christmas Eve at the house and then have a party afterward. It's going to be really small, but it would mean a lot if you would all come.”

I sat holding my breath to see how this news was going to be received. Everyone looked like they were in a little bit of shock. Eyes wide, mouths open slightly, if it wasn't so serious I might have laughed.

“Wow, it's a little sooner than I thought it would be. I had hoped you would wait until after graduation.” My dad spoke at last.

“We were going to, but with Cole deploying to the Middle East, he won't be back for twelve months and by then…” I left the rest unsaid.

“Well, I think it's great. You were going to get married anyway. What kind of plans have you made? Do you have a dress yet?” Samantha excitedly started.

I knew I could count on her. I smiled at her while still keeping a wary eye on my parents' reactions. It looked like Dad was coming out of his shock faster than my mother was.

“Umm, Cecelia and I have most of it planned. We're going to get married in front of the tree, and no, I don't have a dress yet, but I'm not going to do the whole big dress thing anyway. There just isn't time.”

“Wow,
” my dad began again. “What do you need me to do? I'm not going to say I'm really excited about this, but you two are right. He's going to be gone for a while, and you need to get married before he ships out. So what do you need?”

“I just need you to show up. Right now we're thinking about having the ceremony around four and then eating afterward…” My voice trailed off as I watched my mother stand up and leave the room.

My dad and sister looked at me with sympathy in their eyes.

“I guess we haven't come as far as I thought we had.” I said sadly, smiling at my dad and sister.

“Maybe she just needs a little time to accept everything. It's a little quick. Even I was shocked about how soon my daughter is going to be married.” My dad tried to explain.

“And maybe she isn't going to ever be able to move past everything.” I said standing up. “I'll call you when I know more details. Oh, Samantha, I was hoping you would be my maid of honor. I'm sorry I didn't ask sooner. I don't expect you to get a dress or anything, but I know you have some nice things in your closet.”

She squealed in delight. “I would love to be your maid of honor! I'll have to go through my stuff and see what I have to wear. Do you have a color preference?”

“Well, actually, Cecelia always decorates her tree in creams, dark green, and a deep cranberry. Something in one of those colors would be great.” I smiled at my sister.

“I might have just the thing.” Samantha said, distracted now with a wardrobe challenge.

“I have to go, but I'll call when I have more details for you.” I hugged them both and then collected my daughter and wrestled her back into her jacket.

I waved at them as Victoria and I headed back home. It was funny how quickly I had come to accept Cole's home as my own. I didn't even think of the house I had grown up in as mine any longer. I smiled in the mirror at my chattering daughter and tried to put it all out of my mind for now.

****

Cole arrived back home in December, and we spent as much time as possible together. He kept touching and holding his daughter when she let him. Victoria was all about being on the move now.

When we weren't together, we were with his family and finishing up the plans for the wedding. Against my better judgment, I was going to wear the big wedding dress. At least we weren't spending a small fortune on it. Cecelia and Cole ganged up on me, and I finally agreed to wear Cecelia's wedding gown.

It was a very simple off-the-shoulder cream colored satin gown with little roses made out of slightly darker cream satin clustered at the shoulders. I tried it on, and it was a perfect fit except for the length. I would just wear high heels and hope I didn't fall off of them and take a header into the Christmas tree in the middle of the ceremony.

There was one benefit to wearing a wedding dress. It made me feel like an actual bride.

The morning of my wedding dawned with a fresh snowfall turning the lawn into a true winter wonderland. The sun turned every tree and shrub into a glittering mass of twinkling lights.

After getting Victoria fed and settled in the family room I went to see what was left to do. Unfortunately everything was done or being done. I think they were all conspiring to keep me from doing anything on my wedding day, which left far too much time for me to think.

Cole found me a little while later playing with Victoria. He just smiled and shook his head and then joined us on the floor.

“You have nothing to do and so you're sitting here worrying over something you shouldn't be worrying about.” He stated.

“You're too observant for your own good, you know. Although it is refreshing you haven't changed.” I smiled at him.

“Neither have you. So how are you really doing? With all of this? I know it's all happening a little faster than we thought, but you understand why I wanted it this way.” He said.

“I'm okay and I do understand why you wanted to do this before you deploy. It's just a little strange to think I just turned eighteen, I'm a senior in high school, and I'm about to become a wife. Of course all of this is in addition to the fact I'm already a mother.” I smiled at him.

“You're a great mom. Are you nervous people are going to treat you differently?” He tucked a stray hair behind my ear.

“No. I don't worry about what other people think anymore.” I hugged him.

“Good, because I'm sure there will be a few who will let you know what their opinions on you being married so young are.” Cole said, bending to kiss me.

“Hey, what do you think you're doing?” From behind us came my sister's voice. “I have only been given three hours in which to make my sister a stunning bride. Now quit groping her so I can get her upstairs and do something with her hair.” Samantha said, sounding like a drill sergeant.

“Wow, you're kind of pushy.” I said with a huge grin on my face.

I was given a disgusted look before she grabbed my hand and started towing me up the stairs. I shouted instructions for Victoria over my shoulder to Cole as we went, hoping he heard me, and then all of my concentration was on sitting completely still as commanded so my sister could make me beautiful.

I made my entrance three hours later and followed my sister down the staircase to the living room where everyone stood waiting for us. I was glad Dad was there to help me down, and I was unable to take my eyes off of Cole as I took every step.

He was breathtaking in his military uniform and hoped I at least looked half as good as he did. After he took my hand in his I don't really remember much about the actual ceremony or the party. I know I said my vows and spoke to everyone, but the most significant memory I have is of Cole. The way he looked and how I felt becoming his wife.

We excused ourselves from the party briefly to take Victoria up to bed, which was a little awkward to say the least. I wasn't sure I was going to get out of the rocking chair after stuffing myself and the dress into it to rock her before putting her in bed.

The party broke up around midnight and we slipped upstairs after the last guest had left. Cole had to help me out of the dress and then helped me take down my hair. My sister had really outdone herself with her creation.

“I love you Cole.” I said, turning to face him.

“I love you, Mrs. Morgan Williams. I like hearing that.” Cole said, smiling.

“I do too.” I said, as our lips met and fused.

We spent the rest of his time home together with Victoria in a little cabin his parents had renovated years before on their property. It was perfect for us. It had two bedrooms, and the living room and kitchen were just one big open room. The living room had a big stone fireplace. We had a fire burning in it the whole time.

It was a magical time, and we felt like a real family for the first time. It was just the three of us and nothing from the outside world intruded on our peaceful existence while we were in the cabin.

The day we said goodbye was one of the worst of my life. It felt like I was losing a piece of my heart, and it would only be whole again when he came back to me.

I didn't cry at the airport or in the car on the way back home. I waited until Victoria was down for the night and then crawled into our bed and let the tears fall. The sobs tore through me, and the aching wasn't soothed. My heart continued to beat, but it wasn't complete any longer. It skipped slightly when it got to the missing piece.

The next day dawned and I was in much better control of my emotions, but the ache was still there. After a few months I got used to its presence. It helped to be able to write, and I could send him pictures of Victoria and me. We even had the occasional phone call, but those were infrequent and very unreliable.

Day-to-day life got easier, but it was never the same. I went to school, took care of Victoria, and did everything I used to do, but it always felt like something was missing.

On the day of my graduation from high school, my parents threw me a party to celebrate. It was great being able to celebrate the fact I was able to graduate from high school. I know a lot of teen mothers never get the opportunity, and I was truly grateful for all of the people who had helped me achieve this goal.

My mother and I had been making small but steady progress at healing our relationship and things were getting better, but I was afraid we would never be like we were before I got pregnant. Could we ever get back there? I didn't have an answer. Just like so many other questions.