Behind Her Smile (2 page)

“How did you know?” he smiled. “Yeah, Mom made my favorites for tonight, and I snuck one before you guys drove in. Want one?” he asked with a mischievous glint in his eye.

She smiled and shook her head. “No thanks.”
I already feel fat without stuffing my face with brownies,
she thought. The scales had read 118 that morning. Although her dad kept telling her she looked great, most of her friends weighed less than 110. She was planning to put herself on a strict diet before school began. Being thin was important. All the cute girls were.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked, as they walked up the stairs to the front porch.

“Nothing,” she replied nonchalantly.

Luke’s mom, Kelly, was in the living room with Laney in her arms. “Hi, Maddie,” she said with a smile. Michelle stood beside her gazing at the baby’s sweet face and talking baby talk to her. After handing her over to Michelle, Kelly gave Madison a hug. “You look more beautiful every time I see you,” she said.

Madison forced a smile.
Yeah, right
, she thought as she fingered the new zit. But she remembered her manners and replied, “Thanks.”

“When’s dinner, Mom?” Luke asked. “I’ve still got a load of laundry to pull out of the dryer before I pack.”

After learning that there would be at least a thirty-minute wait, he turned to Madison and said, “Wanna help?”

“Sure,” she replied, following him to the laundry room off the kitchen. As Luke leaned down and reached into the dryer to pull out his clothes, she thought about how her mother still did her laundry.
Guess having six kids makes a difference,
she mused silently, making the decision to learn how to run their washer and dryer and start doing her own laundry. That would make her mom happy.

Luke slung the laundry basket up onto his one hip and used the other to close the dryer door. “Time to pack,” he said with a grin.

And although Madison returned his smile, it never reached her eyes. Saying goodbye was going to be harder than she’d imagined.

As Luke dumped the clothes on his bed and they began to fold, Lucy popped her head into the room. “He’s got you folding his laundry?” she asked.

“Hi, Luce,” Madison replied, throwing a bundled pair of socks at her.

Laughing, Lucy plunked down on the bed beside the empty basket. Although a year younger than Madison, Luke’s sister always seemed more confident and comfortable in her own skin. Madison admired that about her. She never seemed to get moody, or let other people determine how she felt about herself.

“So can you believe Luke’s actually leaving Sandy Cove to go to college?” Lucy asked, as she picked up Luke’s pillow and hugged it to her lap. “I asked Mom if I could have his room,” she added.

Luke stopped folding and looked over at his sister.

“Don’t worry. She said no. She wants it just like you left it, so you’ll want to come home,” she said. “Guess I’ll be stuck with Lily for the rest of my life. Until
I
go off to college, too, that is.”

Luke scoffed. “You’ll need to spend more time studying and less time socializing if you want to get a scholarship and be able to go away for college. Otherwise, you’ll end up living here and going to SCC.”

Lucy looked at him with an air of dismissal. “I’m going to college in California. I’ve already decided.” Then she turned her focus to Madison. “What about you, Maddie? Where do you want to go?”

Shrugging, Madison replied, “I’m not sure.”

“You better start thinking about it,” Lucy warned. “You only have one more year before you have to start sending in applications.”

Luke glanced at Madison and seemed to be reading her mind. “Lay off, Lucy. Madison knows that.”

“Just trying to help,” she said as she stood and dropped the pillow back against the headboard. “Want to go shopping with us tomorrow afternoon?” she asked Madison. “Mom’s taking me to the mall in Portland after we drop Luke off at the airport.”

“Maybe. I’ll talk to my mom.”

“Catch you two lovebirds downstairs,” Lucy said with a smile as she left the room.

Madison felt her face turn crimson, but Luke just laughed. “Crazy kid,” he muttered, picking up a stack of tee shirts and placing them into his suitcase.

As the two families gathered around the table to say grace before helping themselves to the various dishes on the buffet, Lily slipped in next to Madison and took her hand, gazing up at her with a sweet smile of admiration. “I wish you were my sister,” she said softly. Although Lily could hold her own with her twin brother, Liam, she was much quieter than her sister, Lucy. She sometimes reminded Madison of herself.

Giving her a squeeze, Madison replied, “Me, too.”

Luke stood across from her on the other side of the table, holding his baby sister up to his shoulder as they bowed their heads and prayed. When Madison looked back up at him, he winked, and she felt herself blush again.
He sure looks natural holding little Laney like that. He’ll be a great dad someday,
she thought.

The dinner conversation centered mostly on Luke’s plans.

“So tell us more about your school,” Steve asked, leaning forward and making eye contact with Luke.

“Well, it’s a four-year college with a work-study program,” he explained.

“No tuition or payments for room and board,” Ben added. “It’s all student work based.”

“Which is why we can afford for him to go,” Kelly said. “Otherwise, he’d have to have a scholarship, and he’d probably still need to take out loans.” She looked around the table at their brood of six. “It’s a good thing his counselor told him about this school.”

“And that they accepted him,” Ben added, looking proudly at their son.

“Didn’t you have to go for some interviews a couple of years ago?” Michelle asked.

Madison was paying close attention to everything. Lucy was right. She needed to start thinking about all of this. And maybe, just maybe, she should consider this same school.

Luke jumped back into the conversation. “So the thing is, this school is really small and they only accept a couple hundred freshman each year. The counselor told me that most students begin visiting the campus during ninth or tenth grade. You can actually start meeting with the Dean on your first visit.”

“What’s the campus like?” Madison heard herself ask.

“It’s nice. They have lots of acreage with trees, grassy areas—stuff like that. The buildings are older style. Kind of east coast looking,” he replied.

“Sounds pretty,” she said, trying to picture herself that far away from home. “Maybe I’ll come out and visit.” She looked up to see all the adults looking at her. She blushed and glanced over at Luke. He was smiling.

“Good idea,” he said. “I’ll show you around.”

As the conversation continued, Madison learned that Luke would not be home for Thanksgiving. “It’s too expensive to fly home for every break,” he explained.

“My brother and his family live a few hours away in St. Louis. He might rent a car and drive up there for the holiday,” Kelly explained, sounding like she was trying to be cheerful and upbeat about it.

Luke looked at Madison again. “I’ll be home for Christmas for sure.”

She nodded and smiled.

After dinner, Luke surprised her by asking if she wanted to go for a walk. “Sure,” she replied.

“Don’t be gone long,” Kelly said. “We’ve got dessert, and then you’ve got to finish packing.”

Luke flashed a smile at his mother. “Don’t worry. It’ll all get done.”

The long summer evening provided daylight for their walk. They strolled side-by-side, but not touching. “So are you ready for junior year?” he asked.

“I guess.” She paused and then added, “I’ll miss seeing you at school.”

“Nah,” he replied, giving her a playful shove. “The guys will be swarming around you. You won’t even notice I’m gone.”

She felt a stab to her heart, but shoved him back with the best smile she could muster. “Yeah. Like they always swarm around me,” she added with a twinge of sarcasm.

They walked on in silence for a few minutes, down the familiar streets they’d known their whole lives. “Hey, remember when your dad took the training wheels off your bike and helped you ride it on the sidewalk here?” he asked.

She smiled and rolled her eyes. “Yeah. Remember the gash in my knee when I fell on that driveway,” she replied, pointing to the offending concrete.

“But you got right back up. I was really proud of you.”

“You were?” Her heart felt lighter.

“Yeah.”

“So do you know who you’ll be rooming with in the dorm?” she asked.

“Some guy from Texas. He’s into music.”

“Oh. Like worship?” she asked.

“Like band. He’ll be playing the trumpet in the school band.”

She looked up at him. This time it was her turn to shove. “So I guess you’ll be listening to a lot of practicing. Hope he doesn’t keep you up all night,” she added with a glint in her eye.

Nodding and laughing, he replied, “Better get some earplugs, I guess.”

As they rounded the corner and headed back, he asked casually, “So will you write me while I’m gone?”

“Uh, sure. If you want.”

“I want. Not just emails either. Send me some real letters.”

She noticed the change in the tone of his voice. His playfulness was pushed aside by earnestness.

“I will. Promise,” she replied. “And you’ll write back. Deal?”

“Deal.” He lifted his hand, and they high-fived each other. Then for just a brief moment, he looked almost like he would kiss her. But he seemed to catch himself, and turning away, he just draped his arm over her shoulder, gave her a squeeze, and then let go.

“Did Maddie seem quiet to you tonight, honey?” Michelle asked Steve, as they got ready for bed.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe a little. Why?”

“I think Luke’s leaving is harder on her than she expected.”

Steve nodded. He sat on the side of the bed and pulled her down next to him. “Our little girl sure has grown up,” he replied, taking Michelle’s hand and lifting it to his lips for a gentle kiss.

Affection swept over Michelle. It seemed like her love for Steve grew deeper every year.