Behind the Eight Ball (5 page)

“Lawson?”

I looked at him, seeing the concern in his eyes. I knew he’d do what he threatened and ask Janelle. I didn’t want to think about how much fun she’d have telling him. “Fine. Janelle seems to think I met my mate last Friday.”

Marshell blinked at me. He opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again. His eyes bulged.

I glared at him. “That’s a fine imitation of a guppy you got going there.”

Marshell snapped his mouth closed. His glare was much more impressive than mine. “I can’t believe you compared me to some teeny tiny fish. A
guppy
. A flipping guppy. And what the fuck, man? Why are you standing here? Why aren’t you flat on your back with your—”

I leaned up against the SUV, watching the show.
Look at the outrage.
“You know I prefer to top.”

Marshell spluttered. “What has that got to do with—”

“Obviously there’s a problem, you perv.”

“No shit.” He rolled his eyes and unlocked the SUV. “Get in the damn vehicle, Lawson, and let’s go eat. I swear, a guppy,” he grumbled.

“Hey, if the fin fits….”

That got me more guppy action. I couldn’t help it; I finally had to laugh. I climbed in and looked at him. “You know, I’m suddenly wanting seafood.”

I DIDN’T
get my seafood. Marshell claimed he wanted a steak and had heard good things about this place called Arches. He made a quick call and let Janelle know we’d gone to eat. They always made a point to let the other know what their plans were. Since she had an appointment to get her nails done, she said she’d just get something to eat on the way home.

We arrived and parked. I enjoyed going out with Marshell—he attracted attention everywhere he went. People reacted to him. How could they not? He was sex on two legs. He received as many lustful looks as guarded ones. Both he and Janelle commanded attention. I’d decided it had to do with the fact they were paranormals. I also found they didn’t care about the gender of their admirers.

The hostess seated us quickly, which impressed me. The place was busy.

We ordered and were both sipping on a cold beer when Marshell decided my time had run out. “Tell me.”

“Short, sanitized version is a man came in, got his truck cleaned, and almost passed out in the store. He checked me out, flirted, then shut down like a virgin in a medieval romance novel and ran like hell from me. Your sister put two and two together and came up him being my… you know.”

Marshell shook his head slowly. “She’s sure?”

“I guess. I mean, as much as she can be without actually seeing the guy or being there as this went down.”

“Did you smell anything?”

“Yeah, she asked that too. Coconut. That’s what I smelled. Best damn thing ever.”

“I’ve heard others talk about that scent. It’s a powerful thing, they say. Did Janelle know what, um, kind…?”

“Cat. Unsure what kind exactly.”

Marshell suddenly glanced around, unease tightening his face. “Oh damn. Really?”

I glanced around too, unsure as to what we were looking for. “Yeah, why?”

“Um.” Marshell lowered his voice. “Because I smell cat in here.”

Startled, I looked around again, as if that would do me a bit of good. I didn’t have Marshell’s sense of smell, so there was no way I’d spot a shifter.

Then I shrugged. “Ah, well, I wouldn’t worry about it. I mean, what are the chances what you noticed is even… the right, ah, type? Hell,
she
didn’t even know what kind.”

Marshell relaxed as a server brought out our steaks. “You’re probably right.”

Heller

THE LAST
week was a nightmare. I barely remember the drive home from that auto detail place. It really was nothing more than a blur. Luckily the deer population decided not to play suicide by truck while I was lost in my head. That was the last thing I needed.

I parked and slammed into the house, still unable to believe what happened. I’d dreamed of this day for
years
, and now my life lay in ruins around my feet. How could my goddess have done this? She knew,
knew
how I felt about humans.

Pacing back and forth in the kitchen, I continued to mumble at the unfairness, glaring at nothing in particular. What was I going to
do
? I wanted a mate; we all did. But I wanted one of my own kind—not this, not what I’d ended up with.

I grabbed a beer out of the refrigerator, twisted the top off, and downed half of it in one gulp. Fucking hell, I had
plans
. Then in one fatal move, my goddess swooped in and ruined everything by giving me a human. A human.

I just couldn’t… not after what happened…. Memories crowded me, grasping at me, dragging me back, back to that time. Blood. There was so much blood. It was everywhere, dripping down the walls, the soft
plop
,
plop
of it freezing me in horror….

“
No!
” I dropped the bottle and buried my hands in my hair, pulling frantically.

The sudden, bright pain brought me back to the present. Panting, I stared at the broken glass all over my floor, then whirled around and planted my fist through the closest wall. Agony raced up my arm.

Blinded by rage and pain, I threw my head back and yelled, releasing the horror inside me at such a betrayal. Staggering away from the broken glass, I slumped to my knees, cradling my hand to my chest. I didn’t think I’d broken it, but it sure hurt.

Disgusted with my loss of control, I slowly stood and walked to my bedroom. I called Remi and asked him to cover my days guarding our Alpha. When he asked why, I only said something had come up and I needed a few days.

After I stripped, I shifted. Curling up on the floor, I tucked my tail under my chin. My paw felt better, at least. Too bad the rest of me ached. All I wanted to do was sleep and forget.

“HELLER? HEY,
man, are you here? Heller?”

A persistent voice broke through the fog in my mind. I resisted, but it wouldn’t leave me alone.

“Heller? Come on, man, where…. Shit. Broken glass? Why is there…?
Heller
!”

I lifted my head. Was that Dolf? “Meow.”

Dolf strode into the bedroom. “Heller? Hey, man. Why are you curled up in here?”

Well, this was sure a shock. Why was he here? The tinny scent of concern radiating off Dolf blanketed me. Since it didn’t involve our Alpha, I lowered my head, a small sigh escaping. I wished Dolf would go away. All I wanted was to go back to sleep.

Dolf lowered himself to the floor next to me, running his hands over my fur. “I don’t know what’s going on, but enough is enough. You’ve shut yourself away now for a week.”

A week? That much time had passed?

“You won’t answer the phone, and I’ve been trying to get a hold of you since yesterday. You had me worried when you didn’t answer.”

Well, at least that explained why he was here. I flicked my fluffy tail at Dolf.

“Uh-huh. There’s also broken glass in the kitchen. Are you okay?”

I opened one eye and stared at Dolf, more than a little surprised at the outpouring of concern. We’d been best friends once, but that was long ago, before… well. I didn’t want to think of that now. My actions with Kirk had damaged our friendship more.

It looked like he was going to be there for a while. Great, just what I did
not
need. “Meer,” I answered and closed my eyes again. Maybe he’d get the hint that I was fine.

“Good. I didn’t smell blood, but I wanted to make sure.” Dolf scratched behind my ear and I let out a little purr. That did feel good. Now if Dolf would just stop talking….

“You want to tell me what’s going on?”

So much for not talking. I raised my head and sneezed in Dolf’s direction.

Dolf wiped his hand on his jeans. “Goddess, Heller, gross. I ought to pull your tail for that one.”

I thought about flashing a fang, but that might indeed get my tail yanked—right over my head. Better not. Instead I stood and stretched, my upper body low to the ground and my paws reaching out in front of me. I extended one leg behind me. Yeah, that felt good. I did the other leg too. I’d been sleeping a lot this week.

Dolf sat on the floor, waiting. “I’m not leaving until we talk, so how about you shift?”

I yawned in Dolf’s direction—I wanted Dolf to know my displeasure—but I still walked over to my clothes. It wasn’t a command to shift, but it was close enough I knew better than to ignore it. Plus I’d sneezed on the man. I’d probably pushed my luck enough for one day.

I shifted and dressed. “Want a drink?”

Dolf stood. “Well, what I’d like is for you—”

“Just….” I so didn’t want to do this. “I know you want an explanation for being out of contact like that, but I just…. Let me get myself together first, please? I also need to clean up the glass.”

Dolf gently laid his hand on my shoulder, stopping me. “I want an explanation, yes, but I was more worried about you. This isn’t like you, and I’m concerned. Look, I know we’ve hit a few rough spots over the last year, but you’re still my friend.”

I ran a hand through my hair. Yeah, “rough spot” was putting it nicely. Here I was again causing trouble, thanks to a human. “I’m sorry, Dolf. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“No problem.” Dolf patted my shoulder. “Come on, I’ll help you clean up.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Maybe not, but I don’t mind.”

We cleaned up the glass. I dragged out the cleanup as long as I could because I knew what was coming after we were through. Dolf wasn’t going to let it go until he had answers.

Dolf faced me. “Are you ready to tell—”

My stomach let out a loud growl.

Dolf raised an eyebrow. “Good grief. When did you last eat?”

“Ah, um… lunch?”

“Today?”

I scowled. “Yeah, today.”

Dolf looked around the kitchen. “Is there anything here to eat?”

I scratched my head, also looking around the kitchen. “Well, I have stuff, but not like what you’re used to. I don’t do much cooking since it’s just me.”

Dolf pulled his cell out of his jeans pocket as my stomach growled again. “I’m going to call my mates and tell them I’ll be home later. Then you’re going to tell me what’s going on, and
then
I’m going to feed you.” Dolf opened the refrigerator and shook his head. “That’s going to include going out, from what I see in here. Go change if you need to.”

I gritted my teeth. If it were anyone other than the heir apparent to the clowder, I’d have told him to stick it. But one didn’t tell Dolf to stick it unless you were Tal or Kirk. I snorted at the mental picture as Dolf called either Tal or Kirk and let them know. While Dolf talked I changed clothes and put my shoes on, then returned to the kitchen.

Dolf hung up, put his cell back in his pocket, and looked at me. “Spill it.”

I dropped down in a kitchen chair. “What? No foreplay, even? Just straight to business, huh?”

“Don’t make me smack you.”

“Oh, kinky.” Suddenly I dropped the playful attitude. I just wasn’t in the mood to wind Dolf up. “Do I really—”

“Yes, you do.” Dolf scrubbed his hands over his face. “You closing yourself off like this worries me. I let you, so shame on me. Then Tal pointed out that I—or any of us really—don’t know you like we used to. He’s right, as much as I hate to say it. Over the years we’ve grown apart, and I just didn’t see it. I’m sorry for that too.”

What could I say? It was true, and something I’d done on purpose.

Dolf sat down with me. “Let me help. I care about you, and I hate seeing you like this.”

Well, hell, he wasn’t going to give up, and suddenly I needed to talk about this. “I met my mate a week ago today.”

Dolf jerked back in the chair, his mouth falling open. Blinking several times, he gaped at me, sheer joy lightening up his face. “By the goddess, that’s—”

“Pure shit,
that’
s what that is.”

Dolf flinched, the joy draining out of his face. “Oh. I… well. I take it from your expression your mate is human?”

I slammed my hand down on the table, the anger bubbling beneath the surface rising up again. “I think I’d have been less horrified if my mate had been female.”

Dolf shook his head. “A mate is a—”

“Oh, spare me the lecture. I’ve heard it all before, and I’m not interested in hearing it again. You might be fine with a mate who was human, and that’s fine. I’m
not
.”

“Not all humans are bad, just like not all shifters are good. Look at what a shifter tried to do to Kirk. He tried to kill my mate because he was human before Tal and I mated him.”

“That was wrong, yes, and I get why you feel the way you do, but you have
no
idea what humans can do. None. So don’t you sit there and lecture me about something you know
nothing
about,” I snarled as my voice climbed.

Dolf stared at me, neither of us saying anything until Dolf finally cleared his throat. “I’m going to ignore the snarling thing because you’re upset.”

Aw fuck, what am I doing?
Cringing, I tilted my head, baring my neck. “I’m sorry, Dolf. I wasn’t challenging you. Please believe me. I have no interest in leading. I’m not strong enough.”

“I know. I also know Kirk’s right. When someone hates this deeply, there’s a reason.” Dolf held up a hand when I opened my mouth. “Something happened to you at some point, and I somehow missed it. It’s personal, so I’ll stay out of it. For now. I will say I’m hurt something this major transpired and I know nothing about it. I thought you knew you could come to me with anything.”

“I… I’m sorry, Dolf. I seem to be saying that a lot. Back then I—I… It… It was a long time ago, and I just… I just can’t. Please don’t make me go there.”

“I have a feeling you aren’t going to get a choice in the matter, so please remember I’m here for you. Keep in mind our goddess wouldn’t give you a mate who wasn’t perfect for you. You know by not claiming him, it’ll leave a hole in your life. You’ll always miss that special someone who’s your mate.”