Behind the Film Star's Smile (5 page)

‘You, too?’ he asked.

She wrinkled her nose and nodded, and Luke wondered if she knew how cute she looked.

Probably not.

There was nothing studied about Jess. What you saw was what you got. She wasn’t like most of the women in his world, very aware of how every move and gesture could be interpreted.

‘Not everyone tries to fix me up,’ Jess said. ‘My parents, my sister and my best friend know I’ll date again when I’m ready.’

‘And the others?’

‘Have discovered that I’m not very available.’ She wrinkled her nose again. ‘Which is horrible of me. I know they mean well and they want me to be happy.’

‘But you’d rather choose your own date.’

She nodded. ‘You, too?’

‘You’re lucky that your family understands and doesn’t push you,’ he said feelingly. ‘I’ve pretty much run out of excuses to avoid my mother’s dinner parties.’

‘Tut, and you an award-winning actor.’

Luke couldn’t remember the last time he’d met someone with such a dry sense of humour. Someone who made him laugh for all the right reasons. He grinned. ‘You have a point. If I can’t act my way out of a dinner party, I shouldn’t be doing this job.’ He scratched behind Baloo’s ears, and the dog sighed with happiness. ‘Like you say, they mean well and they want you to be happy. But sometimes their idea of what makes you happy isn’t the same as yours.’

‘So you still miss Fleur?’ She grimaced. ‘Sorry, that was really nosey. I shouldn’t have asked you. Ignore me.’

‘It’s OK.’ Of course she’d be curious. And of course she’d know his ex-wife’s name. The gossip pages had been full of their divorce, last year.

‘No, it’s not OK,’ she said. ‘You don’t have to tell me.’

Luke was surprised to find that actually he did want to tell her. Some of it, anyway. Jess might be the one person who really understood how he felt. And he already knew he didn’t have to remind her about set rules. What he said to Jess would stay with her and go no further.

‘Sort of. I know I don’t feel the same way about her as I did eighteen months ago. I don’t love her any more.’ He didn’t hate her quite so much any more, either, so that was progress. Of sorts. ‘I suppose I don’t miss
her
so much as I miss being married,’ he said. ‘I miss the closeness.’

She nodded. ‘Yeah. That’s the hard part. Waking up in the middle of the night and the bed feels too big.’

She definitely knew what he was talking about, then. ‘It’s the stupid little things. Putting the kettle on to make tea and remembering that you only need one mug. Buying croissants for one at the deli on a Sunday morning.’

‘Coming home, and there’s nobody to tell about your day—because if you ring someone to talk about it then they’ll know you’re feeling lonely and miserable. Then they’ll feel bad if they can’t change their plans and come and see you; and you’ll feel bad if they
do
come and see you, because you know you really ought to be able to cope with it on your own,’ she said.

Oh, yes, he knew that one, too. ‘Then, the next day, they’ll ring you and suggest joining them for dinner or a show at the theatre or the opening night of an exhibition, and you go along to discover they’ve also invited someone else—someone they think might stop you being lonely.’

‘And you’re polite, and you try to have a nice time, but it pushes you even further into that little box of loneliness,’ she said.

‘Absolutely.’ He reached over and squeezed her hand. ‘Thank you.’ Her skin was soft and warm, and he had to resist the temptation to draw her hand up to his mouth and fold a kiss into her palm. Which would be insane, because that wasn’t what either of them wanted. She was offering him friendship. Understanding. And that was exactly what he needed, right now. He loosened his hand from hers. ‘You have no idea how good it feels to meet someone who understands that.’

‘Me, too,’ Jess said.

‘I’m glad I met you.’

‘And you.’ She smiled. ‘If anyone had told me six months ago I’d start to make friends with a movie star, I would’ve—’ She spread her hands, laughing. ‘Well, I don’t move in those sort of circles.’

‘You do now.’

She laughed again. ‘I’m hardly Hollywood material. I don’t think I’d fit in.’

He thought that Jess would fit in just about anywhere. But now wasn’t the right time to say that. ‘Hollywood’s a lot of pressure.’ He shrugged. ‘And a lot of relationships can’t take that. I thought Fleur and I would buck the Hollywood trend—that we’d be one of those strong marriages that can survive one of us working away for half the year. I loved her and I thought she loved me.’ Except she hadn’t loved him enough. She’d wanted something he hadn’t been able to give her—at least, not something he could give her easily, and how he wished he’d been able to do it. But a simple childhood illness had put paid to that. Somehow they’d managed to keep that little bit of information out of the press. But the nasty little secret had been eating away at him ever since. Along with the fear that it would be leaked. And that it would change people’s view of him—and in turn that would change directors’ views of him, too, and mean that he wasn’t considered for the role of romantic male lead any more. Actors in the Fifties had had to keep their sexuality under wraps for the same reason: public perception could close off huge areas of their career. Nowadays, it was acceptable for an actor to be gay. But Luke’s problem was a little tricky.

‘I’m sorry it didn’t work out that way for you.’

‘Me, too. But she’s with someone else now.’ Someone who
had
been able to give her what she wanted. Which was how he’d learned about her affair in the first place.

Jess reached over and squeezed his hand. ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring back bad memories for you.’

‘Not so much bad memories as regret,’ he said. ‘I wish things could’ve been different. But they’re not, and I’ve pretty much learned to come to terms with it.’ He blew out a breath. ‘Thank you for not pitying me.’

‘Pity’s harsh.’

It sounded as if she was speaking from experience. He wanted to ask, but he didn’t want her to go back into her shell. If she wanted him to know, she’d tell him. ‘Yes, it is,’ he said, leaving it up to her whether or not she wanted to talk.

‘I hated it when people pitied me—or people crossed the street to avoid me because they didn’t know what to say to me. They’d pretend later that they hadn’t seen me, but I knew they had.’

‘People always take sides in a breakup,’ he said. ‘You can’t always choose your friends.’

‘No.’ She looked away.

‘I’m not going to pry,’ he said.

‘Thank you.’

Her words sounded heartfelt. Clearly she still loved the guy who’d broken her heart. Maybe it hadn’t been as long for her since the breakup as it had for him; he’d gradually trained himself to stop loving Fleur. Except he was aware that it had also made him keep an emotional distance from anyone he’d dated, too. Or maybe he just hadn’t found the right person to help him to trust again.

Like Jess. And Baloo.

He pushed the thought away. He wasn’t getting involved. End of story.

‘That’s me back on set,’ he said regretfully when there was a call for his scene. ‘I’ll see you later. Have a nice afternoon.’

‘You, too. Break the other leg,’ Jess said. ‘Baloo, wave goodbye.’

To his surprise, the Labrador sat and put her paw up, for all the world as if she were sketching a salute goodbye. ‘Wow. You taught her that?’

She grinned. ‘This morning, in a quiet moment in the office.’

‘You,’ Luke told the dog, ruffling her fur, ‘are a very clever girl.’ He looked up at Jess. ‘And you might be a genius.’

‘It’s all her. Sweet-talk your director and get her a part in his next film,’ Jess said with a saucy wink. ‘See you later.’

That wink stayed in Luke’s head all afternoon, to the point where it even distracted him from some of his lines. Which really wasn’t good. He was a professional. He never let things put him off his stride at work.

This was crazy.

He couldn’t be attracted to Jess Greenacre.

He didn’t want a relationship. He was pretty sure that she was in the same position; she was guarded about her personal life, and something major had clearly happened in her last job to make her change direction so completely in her career. But the little that she had let slip made him think that she was recovering from a broken relationship and needed time to get her head together, too. She was the worst person he could get involved with.

Enough.

He had work to do.

He made it through the first scene without letting himself think about Jess. And the second. But, in the short break after the second scene, Mimi sashayed across to him. Wearing the expensive designer shoes Luke had replaced the day before.

‘Hey, Luke.’ She gave him a sultry look to accompany the equally sultry drawl.

‘Hey, Mimi.’ He forced himself to be charming. He was going to have to work with the woman for the next couple of months, and the last thing the rest of the cast needed was any awkwardness between the lead actor and the lead actress.

‘I was thinking, maybe we could have dinner tonight.’

Her pout made it very clear that dinner wasn’t all she planned to offer. Oh, help. Everyone knew he was single, which probably made him fair game in his world. But even if he had been interested in a relationship, Mimi wasn’t his type. Too mannered, too studied, too fake. Every move was calculated for maximum effect—and maximum PR. If he dated Mimi, the pictures would be plastered all over the gossip magazines, the very next day. And he’d had quite enough of his personal life being in the press, thanks to his ex-wife.

‘Sorry, Mimi. I’m already promised elsewhere tonight,’ he said, giving her an equally fake but absolutely charming smile, and hoping that would be enough.

‘Tomorrow night, then. To celebrate the first day of shooting.’

‘Sorry, no can do—my aunt’s back tomorrow and she’ll need a proper update on Baloo.’

Mimi’s smile slipped just a fraction and her eyes went cold. ‘The mutt.’

‘Actually, Jess thinks she’s a pure-bred Labrador.’

‘Jess? Oh, yes. The
gofer
.’ The actress made it sound as if Jess were the lowest of the low.

Shockingly, Luke found himself wanting to defend Jess. Which was crazy. She was perfectly capable of standing up for herself. Plus, if Mimi thought he was taking Jess’s part over hers, she was capable of making life very difficult on set for Jess. Best to back off. Discretion being the better part of valour, and all that.

Though at that precise moment Luke thought he was as much of a coward as Shakespeare’s rotund knight. Maybe the easy life wasn’t necessarily the best life.

‘You’re sure you can’t get out of your plans tonight?’ Mimi asked, giving him another of her famed sultry looks. ‘You can’t throw a sickie?’ She dipped her head and looked up at him, making her blue eyes seem huge and pleading. ‘Not even for me?’

‘Sorry, Mimi. No can do.’ He knew he needed to keep this polite and firm, without giving any explanations that could give her an excuse to prolong the conversation or try a different tack. ‘I don’t know about you, but I could really do with a coffee. Shall we join the others?’

To Luke’s relief, the actress agreed. And George, the director, had clearly seen his predicament and taken pity on him, because he needed a quick chat with Luke alone about tweaks to the last scene.

‘You know, Mimi usually dates her leading men,’ George said quietly.

Yeah. Luke knew. But he didn’t want to date her. ‘I’m not in the market for dating, right now,’ he said.

‘Just one date, for a quiet life,’ George suggested.

It would be the easy way out. But Luke couldn’t face it. This wasn’t a game he wanted to play.

And he was horribly aware that if Mimi was a different person—a gentle-voiced woman with intelligent green eyes, no make-up and a sharp sense of humour—then the situation would be very different.

‘Maybe I can persuade her that I’m still not over Fleur,’ he said.

‘Well, you can try,’ George said, his expression saying very clearly that he thought Luke would need to be very lucky indeed for it to work.

CHAPTER FOUR

L
UKE
TRIED
TO
ignore the noise, but the shrilling was insistent.

Then his groggy brain focused on the fact that it was the telephone.

In the middle of the night.

Nobody called him at this time of night. Not unless it was an emergency.

He groped for the receiver, his eyes still not accustomed to the low level of light in the room, and mumbled, ‘Hello?’

‘Lukey, it’s me.’

He registered firstly that it was his aunt Monica, and secondly that her voice sounded gravelly, as if she’d been crying. And then he was wide awake. He switched the bedside light on, trying to dispel the flood of panic. ‘Monica? What’s happened? Are you OK?’

There was a quiet woof from the end of the bed, where Baloo had settled herself—Luke had given up trying to make her sleep in her crate in the kitchen.

‘Not really.’ She dragged in a breath. ‘I can’t believe I was so stupid. I’ve broken my leg in two places.’

‘Where are you?’

‘Hospital. Laura’s with me.’ She paused. ‘Oh, no. You were asleep, weren’t you? I got the time difference wrong. I’m so sorry.’

She sounded very, very close to tears. ‘It’s fine, Mon,’ he reassured her. ‘You know you can always call me at stupid o’clock if you need me. That’s what family’s for.’

‘Thank you, love.’ She choked back a sob. ‘They won’t let me fly home tomorrow. And I promised I’d be back and I’d rehome the dog for you.’

There was another gentle woof from the end of the bed.

‘Did I just hear her bark?’ Monica asked.

‘Uh, yeah.’ He raked a hand through his hair. ‘Let’s just say Baloo’s good at opening doors and I’ve given up trying to make her sleep downstairs.’

Monica gave a huff of laughter. ‘That’s the first thing I’ve heard all day to make me smile. It’s been a rotten day, Lukey.’

‘What happened?’

‘We were hiking. We’d gone to see the falls. I slipped and landed awkwardly.’ He could practically hear her inject a note of bravery into her voice. ‘It’s just one of those things.’

‘You said you broke your leg in two places.’ So it must’ve been a pretty nasty fall. And if she’d been out hiking... ‘How did you get to hospital?’

‘A combination of the mountain rescue team and an ambulance. Luckily I’ve got decent travel insurance,’ Monica said lightly. ‘And good painkillers.’

Considering that his aunt didn’t even take paracetamol for a headache, that told him a lot. ‘How long are you going to be in hospital?’

‘I don’t know. They want to make sure there aren’t any complications, and the cast has to set. I don’t know when I’ll be able to fly. And—oh, Lukey, I’ve let you down. I’m supposed to be in London, not stuck in Portland.’ She sounded anguished. ‘Are you all right to keep Baloo until I get back?’

Keep the dog for an unspecified length of time—which could mean anything from a couple of days to a few weeks, depending on when his aunt was able to fly home again and how mobile she was.

No, he wasn’t all right to keep the dog. He had a film to shoot. The deal was, he’d look after the dog until the end of rehearsals. Monica was supposed to pick up the dog on Thursday afternoon.
This
afternoon.

But his aunt was clearly in pain and upset. Luke wasn’t mean-spirited enough to make her feel guilty about the change in plans on top of all that. ‘It’s fine,’ he lied. And he just hoped that Jess would be able to help him out. He had no idea how long her contract was with the film company—a week, a month, the whole of the film—but she’d been a dog trainer. Maybe she knew someone else who could step in, if she couldn’t do it.

‘Mon, is Laura still with you?’ he asked, not wanting to think that his aunt was alone and in pain.

‘Yes. She’s going to change her flight and stay here with me, at least until we know what’s happening.’

‘Good.’ Though he knew he’d be happier if he saw his aunt for himself. Laura was one of Monica’s closest friends, but there wasn’t quite the same bond as there was with family. And Luke was the nearest Monica had to a child. If he was honest with himself, he was closer to his aunt than he was to his parents. ‘Look, I can head to Heathrow now and get the next flight over. Tell me which hospital you’re in and which ward, and I’ll get a taxi from the airport when I land.’

‘No, love. You’re shooting the film this week. You haven’t got time to fly halfway across the world.’

That was true. But family was more important. He’d find some way of sorting this. Maybe the director could shoot out of order and do some of the scenes Luke wasn’t in, tomorrow. Half a day’s filming—it could be done, he was sure. ‘For you, I’ve got time.’

‘Lukey, don’t. I’ll start crying.’ She sniffed. ‘Really, I’ll be fine. Don’t go to the airport. You’d better get back to sleep. You’ll have bags under your eyes tomorrow and your director will want to strangle me.’

‘No, he won’t. The make-up team is pretty good,’ he said with a smile. ‘Don’t worry. Do you have your mobile phone or is there another number I should use to call you?’

‘There’s a phone next to the bed. I think I’m meant to keep my mobile off. Do you have a pen?’

‘Give me a second.’ He grabbed a pen and scribbled the phone number on the back of his hand as she dictated it. ‘I’ll call you tomorrow morning.’ He chuckled. ‘That’s tomorrow your time, I mean—it’ll be afternoon here when I call.’

‘I
am
sorry I woke you, Luke. I wasn’t thinking straight. I just—’ Her voice caught. ‘I just wanted to talk to you.’

‘Don’t worry about it, Mon. It’s not every day you break your leg.’ And, although his aunt packed more into her life than anyone else he knew, she was a lot closer to sixty years old than to twenty. A fall and broken bones were bound to shake her up, and he knew that it would take her much longer to recover physically than if she’d been his age. ‘Ask for anything you need and I’ll pick up the bill, OK? Just remember that nothing’s too much trouble or too expensive when it comes to my favourite aunt. Anything you need, you get it. I mean it.’

‘Thank you, Luke.’ She sounded close to tears again. ‘I love you.’

‘Love you, too, Mon. Get some rest and I’ll call you tomorrow.’ He put down the receiver.
I love you
. Monica was the only person in his life who said that to him and meant it. He blew out a breath. And how pathetic was he for minding? Anyone would think he was five years old again, not thirty-five. He’d minded then. He knew better now.

‘Get a grip, McKenzie,’ he told himself roughly. He was doing just fine. He had a good career, plenty of friends and a comfortable house. He didn’t need anything else.

During the conversation, Baloo had moved further up the bed and had curled up by his knees.

‘It looks as if you’re going to be my house guest for a bit longer,’ he said, stroking her head.

She licked his hand.

‘It’s still only temporary,’ he warned her. ‘Just until Monica’s leg has healed. And then she’ll find you a real home.’

Another lick.

‘And we’d better hope that Jess can help us out. Otherwise you and I are going to be grovelling to Mimi for
weeks
. We’re talking flowers every day, shoe-shaped chocolates, and more charm than I’m capable of.’

Baloo put a paw over her nose, and he laughed. ‘I think Jess is right. You could be a showbiz dog.’ He stroked her head. ‘But I can’t keep you. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.’

She just looked at him.

‘I can’t.’ And he wasn’t going to think about how much he’d bonded with her in the few days he’d been looking after her—especially since he’d been working with Jess to train her. How much he was enjoying having company at home. How good it was to let himself care about someone again.

*

To Luke’s relief, Jess was already in the production office when he and Baloo walked in the next morning.

And he was aware that it wasn’t just relief that she’d kept her word about helping out with Baloo. Jess’s sweet, shy smile made the world feel as if it was a brighter place. Which was crazy. He’d only known her since Monday. Less than a week. Although she was looking after his dog while he was rehearsing, they were still virtually strangers. He couldn’t possibly start feeling this way about her. He didn’t want a relationship with her—with
anyone
.

He made an effort to control his thoughts. ‘Good morning, Jess.’

‘Good morning, Luke.’ She bent to make a fuss of Baloo. ‘It’s your last day with Baloo and the first day of shooting today, isn’t it? Do you have time to do any training with her?’

‘Yes and no.’ He wrinkled his nose. It wouldn’t be fair to let Jess look after Baloo all day and then drop the bombshell on her that he needed her help tomorrow as well—and probably for quite a few days after that. ‘Can we have a quick chat in my trailer, first?’

She looked surprised, then a little wary, but nodded. ‘Sure. What’s up?’

‘Tell you when we get there.’ He didn’t want to have this conversation on the open set and then have everyone gossiping about him. Been there, done that, and rather not rinse and repeat.

Once they were in the trailer, he unclipped Baloo’s leash from her collar and the dog settled down on the rug. ‘Can I get you a coffee or anything?’ he asked.

‘No, I’m good, thanks.’ Jess frowned. ‘What did you want to talk to me about?’

‘My aunt called me in the middle of the night,’ he said. ‘From America. She’s in hospital.’

Jess looked shocked. ‘Oh, no. What happened?’

‘She was out hiking when she had a fall. She broke her leg in two places, so they’re keeping her in for a few days. She was meant to be arriving home this morning and picking up the dog this afternoon, but right now I have no idea when she’s going to be allowed to fly home.’ He grimaced. ‘It might not even be until her leg is healed. Which could take weeks.’

‘It depends on the length of the flight, her age, and how bad the break is,’ Jess said, surprising him. ‘Do you know how long the flight is?’

‘She’s in Portland—I think she said it was something like eleven hours between there and London.’

‘So she’ll need to get up and move around a few times during the flight, then. With a cast, she’s more of a risk of developing DVT,’ Jess said thoughtfully.

‘How do you know this sort of thing?’ Luke asked.

She shrugged. ‘I used to know a few medics. It kind of rubs off.’

He was intrigued. Why would a dog trainer know medics? But he had a feeling that she’d clam up on him if he asked. Besides, he had a more pressing question.

‘As I said, I don’t know how long it’s going to be before Monica comes back to London. But, even once she’s home, she’s not going to be able to look after Baloo with a broken leg,’ Luke said. ‘It’s going to be hard for her even to let the dog out, and she definitely won’t be able to take Baloo for walks.’

Baloo gave a soft woof, and he bent to stroke her head. ‘I didn’t mean now, you daft hound. She knows the W-word,’ he told Jess ruefully. ‘I can help out a bit, but not enough—not when I have full days shooting on set. And I can’t pull out of the film this morning, not when they start shooting this afternoon. It wouldn’t be fair to the team and I can’t expect someone else to come in at ridiculously short notice and learn the part.’ He shook his head. ‘It just wouldn’t be fair on anyone. A lot of people are relying on me. I can’t let them down. But I can’t let my aunt down, either.’ He looked at her. ‘Jess, I really need your help, and I’ll understand if you can’t do it, but if you could help me look after Baloo until Monica’s properly back on her feet...’

*

Look after Baloo. With Luke. Spend time with both of them.
Get close to them.

No. Jess knew that she should walk away, right now. That would be the sensible course of action. Walk away and don’t get involved.

But she had a nasty feeling that it was already too late. She’d already started bonding with the dog. And she couldn’t even begin to let herself think about what was happening with Luke himself. How she’d been looking forward so much to the mornings at work because it meant spending time with him as well as with Baloo.

She was an idiot. She should know better than this. Getting involved would be a bad, bad,
bad
idea. Especially with someone who was so very much in the public eye—someone who was way out of her league.

But Baloo was looking at her with pleading brown eyes. Luke was looking at her in exactly the same way. And she was pretty sure that this was genuine, not just an actor excelling in a role.

They needed help.

From her.

Could she be mean-spirited enough to say no? Especially as working with Baloo had helped her to focus, move on to the point where she was able to think about maybe going back to her old career, albeit in a civil role rather than with the police force?

Jess took a deep breath. ‘OK. I’ll do it.’

Luke wrapped his arms round her and held her close. ‘You’re a lifesaver. Thank you so much.’

*

It was the first time in more than a year that a man had held Jess tightly like this, as if she were the most precious and most important thing in the world. The first time since Matt had been shot. Part of Jess wanted to bawl her eyes out, remembering how much she’d lost. Part of her wanted to hug Luke back. And a really crazy part of her wanted to tip her head back in invitation for a kiss.

Oh, help.

This was unfair to both of them. Luke had made it clear that he wasn’t interested in a relationship, and neither was Jess. This had to stop right now. She needed to be sensible. Yes, the man was drop-dead gorgeous, but she was just being star-struck. This was a reaction to stage presence or whatever it was that actors had.

‘You’re going to be late for work,’ she said.

‘I guess.’ He pulled away and took a step back. And there was a slash of colour across his cheekbones that she’d never seen before.

Oh.

So did he feel this weird pull of attraction, too? She’d guess that he didn’t particularly want to feel that way, either.

But they were both far from being teenagers. So they could deal with this like the adults they were. Couldn’t they?