Behind the Lens (Behind the Lives) (9 page)

Christ!
What was wrong with him? He couldn’t suck on a guy’s tits—
No!
He meant
nipples, and it didn’t matter how cute Corey was...
But why not?
Guys
bummed chicks, so it wouldn’t be that different, in fact the same. Shit, how
did he jump from wanting to suck on nipples to bumming? He screwed up his face
and shook his head, disgusted with himself for even thinking about doing that
shit—literally. He hadn’t even considered fucking a chick like that, never
understood why someone would want to, after all they had pussies, but then
again, Tama did say it felt different, like banging a menopausal virgin—dry and
tight as shit. Of course not literally, the ‘shit’ part anyway, because shit
wasn’t tight, they were Tama’s words not his... Fuck, why couldn’t he stop
thinking about shit? Corey hardly ate, so it wasn’t like he’d have... God! Shut
the fuck up!

Corey
yawned, recapturing Sledge’s attention. His boyfriend was stretching, unaware
that Sledge was in the room. Sledge frowned, this time noticing the fading
bruise on the left side of Corey’s ribcage as his boyfriend twisted into the
stretch. Corey had returned from hospital the night before, the doctor allowing
him to stay at home until he was well enough to start radiotherapy. The
treatment had been shifted back a couple of weeks due to Corey’s injuries from
a gay-bashing that had ended in him being hit by a car.

Corey
made a squeaky, moaning sound that went with the stretching, then stuck a hand
down the front of his boxers and started wanking. Sledge laughed, making Corey
jump and open his eyes. His hand whipped out of his boxers, embarrassment
colouring his pale cheeks.

“How
long have you been standing there for?” Corey asked, pushing himself up into a
sitting position.

“A
few minutes.”

Corey
frowned at him, then a large smile played across his still sleepy face. “You
were perving at me.”

“I
s’pose so.”

Corey
looked surprised, like he didn’t expect Sledge to admit something like that.
“Really?”

Sledge
pulled off his jacket. “Yeah, and do ya wanna know what I wuz thinking ’bout a
minute ago?”

Corey
nodded.

“Fucking
you,” Sledge said, not believing he’d admitted it. No, he did believe it,
because he wanted Corey to tell him there was nothing wrong with what he was
thinking, and to convince him into doing it, because he
needed
sex to
get his mind off what had happened earlier, and although he’d never fucked a
guy before, there was a first time for everything, and he wanted it to be with
Corey.

Corey
stared at Sledge, his mouth hanging so far down he could give himself a
blowjob.

“I
wuz also thinking I wuz sick for wanting it,” Sledge added.

“You’re
not!” Corey shouted, snapping out of his stunned state. He pushed himself down
the bed, his cast acting like an anchor, stopping him from launching himself at
Sledge.

Sledge
took a step back, feeling nervous.

Corey
swung his legs over the bed and reached for Sledge, his broken one sticking out
at an odd angle. “You can’t just tell me you wanna fuck me then back off, so
fuckin’ come here,” he snapped.

Sledge
stepped towards him, although his gut told him to leave, that if he did this,
things would change between them for good—or more likely bad.

Corey
grabbed him by the belt and jerked him closer. He quickly undid it, then the
zipper, shoving down Sledge’s leather pants along with his underwear. “Fuck
yeah,” Corey said, taking Sledge’s half-hard cock into his mouth. Sledge kicked
his head back and groaned, his mind instantly changing from scared to
turned-on.

“Take
off your T,” Corey mumbled around Sledge’s cock.

Sledge
slipped it off without thought, his mind and body too caught up with Corey’s
talented mouth and tongue as they went to work. Corey then moved to Sledge’s
balls, tea-bagging them, while his hand slid up and down his shaft, making
Sledge groan louder, the feeling so intense. But he wanted Corey’s mouth on his
cock more, and to feel his boyfriend’s throat close around the shaft, milking
it like Corey had done for him the first time two days ago.

“Deep-throat
me,” Sledge mumbled, his mind a haze of pleasure.

Corey
moved his mouth back to Sledge’s cock. Sledge grabbed his head and started
pumping into him, his brain not caring a damn how he got off, just needing the
release so fucking bad. He felt Corey’s throat flutter around him, then
something hit his stomach. He looked down as Corey shoved his hands into his
stomach, his face bright red. He let go of Corey’s head, realising he’d been a
bit rough.

Corey
pulled back and hit him in the stomach again, the punch too weak to hurt
Sledge. “You bastard,” Corey spluttered, wiping his mouth. “You were choking
me.”

Sledge
dropped down to cradle Corey’s face. “I’m sorry, you okay?”

Corey
smacked Sledge’s hands away, then shifted up the bed. “I’ll be fine once you
fuck me,” he said, his eyes telling Sledge to follow him.

Sledge
kicked off his pants and underwear that had pooled around his ankles, then
climbed up after Corey. “No, continue sucking me, I’ll be gentle this time.”

Corey
turned onto his side, hiding his face. “Nope, I wanna fuck, not suck.”

Sledge
looked down at Corey’s butt, still not sure if he could go through with it.

“Do
me!” Corey said louder.

“Fuck,
you’re a bossy shite,” Sledge said, screwing up his face, thinking this was all
wrong, that he was only considering it because of what had happened this
morning. He pushed his legs over the side of the bed and covered his face,
everything from earlier now taking over from the pleasure he’d felt only a few
seconds ago.

The
bed shifted around him, then a hand landed on his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” Corey
said. “I didn’t meana yell at you.”

“It’s
not you,” Sledge mumbled, now wishing he’d gone to his own room.

Corey
pulled Sledge’s hand away from his face. “Why you crying?”

Sledge
wiped his eyes, embarrassed he’d let Corey see him like this. “I went to Ash’s
house.”

Corey
pushed Sledge onto his back and scanned his body, probably searching for
bruises. Sledge hadn’t had the best relationship with Ash, which was pretty
much why Corey would’ve thought he’d been hurt.

“What
did he do?” Corey finally said. When Sledge didn’t reply, he repeated the
question.

“He
told me he’s not my brother.”

Corey
eyebrows shot up so far they disappeared into his beanie. “He disowned you?”

“No,
he said me and Juliet are adopted, and Hunter’s our real father, while our real
mother died after childbirth. I visited Hunter at the psyche unit, found out
that everything I knew wuz a lie, and that the culture my grandparents, or Ash
and Dante’s grandparents, brought me up in isn’t even mine. I loved them so
much, and to know that my
baba
and
dida
,” he said, using the
Croatian words for grandmother and grandfather, “aren’t even related kills me.
I don’t understand why they even took me and Juliet in after my mum wuz killed.
For Christ’s sake, she wuzn’t even my mum, she’s Ash and Dante’s. All my
memories are nuthin’ but lies.” Sledge screwed his eyes shut, now wishing Ash
hadn’t told him, because at the beginning he hadn’t realised the full implications
of knowing.
His grandmother
Ash and Dante’s grandmother was now dead,
but their grandfather wasn’t, a man he regularly went up to visit in
Dargaville. But how was he supposed to see the old guy now? Could he face him
again, knowing his supposed
dida
had lied to him, pretending to be his
grandfather? And what about his uncle who took him surfing? Uncle Luka had
pretended to be blood too.

“I
want my family back,” Sledge sobbed. “I don’t wanna know this, I wanna forget.”

Corey
laid his head on Sledge’s chest and wrapped his arms around him.

“Nuthin’s
real,” Sledge cried. “Nuthin’.”

“I’m
real, and I’ll be all the family you need.”

Sledge
wiped his eyes, Corey’s words affecting him. He took Corey’s face into his
hands, staring at him so intensely Corey flushed red. “You mean that?” Sledge
asked.

“Of
course, and if I could, I’d marry you and give you my name, then you’d be a
Connor.”

Sledge
blinked at Corey, surprised by his boyfriend’s words. He was still coming to
terms with falling in love with his best friend that he hadn’t even considered
where they were headed, and if he had, he didn’t think this thing they had
together would last, because there was no way he could admit to his family and
friends that they were boyfriends, no matter how much he loved Corey.

Corey
continued talking, barely breathing as he babbled excitedly. “Or I’d be a Rata.
I don’t know how it would work, and it’s not exactly a marriage. They call it a
Civil Union and it’s perfectly legal, I checked it out on the internet. But if
ya wanna get married for real, we can go to Spain. I checked out the flights,
but they’re a bit expensive. Maybe if I get a job and save we can plan that.
Wouldn’t it be romantic if we could get married in Spain?” Corey’s face
dropped. “Oh shit, you think it’s a horrible idea. I know we only just started
dating, well, not dating, but being together, and we haven’t even had full sex,
which hopefully you’ll fix soon, but if you actually thought about it, it would
be really good to get married, not only cos I love you and wanna be with you
forever, but we would be related. How cool would that be? And—”

Sledge
kissed Corey hard on the lips to shut him up, although his boyfriend’s words
made him feel good. He knew they wouldn’t get married, the idea of marrying
Corey so absurd, but the fact that Corey loved him enough to mention it, to
even check it out on the internet made him want to smother the li’l dude with
so much love.

He
pushed Corey onto his back and continued kissing him, getting lost in the
moment. Corey moved his lips to Sledge’s neck, sucking so hard that Sledge knew
he’d get a hickey, but he groaned into it, hardening even more in response, his
neck so damn sensitive. A brush of material ran down his calf, making him look
down. Corey was using a foot to pull off his own boxers. Sledge placed a hand
on Corey’s bare butt, and started rubbing his cock against Corey’s, careful not
to put any pressure on the cast. Corey groaned in response, making Sledge
desperate to enter him. He got off Corey and rolled him onto his front. Now
frantic, he wedged his boyfriend’s legs apart, angling the uninjured one up, so
he could push inside without affecting Corey’s broken leg.

“No,
Sledge!” Corey shouted.

Sledge
froze with his cock in hand, shocked that Corey has stopped him. “But I thought
you wanted me to fuck you.”

“I
do,” Corey said, turning over as Sledge moved off the bed, “but you hafta
loosen me up first or else it’ll hurt like buggery.” He sniggered. “Buggery,
that’s so funny.”

“But,
I thought I could just enter you the same as a chick,” Sledge said, feeling
like an idiot. Tama never said nothing about a chick’s arse needing loosening
up.

“No
bloody way, you’d tear me apart.” Corey reached for the bedside cabinet and
pulled open the middle drawer. “Even a small cock would hurt, let alone your
monster.” He grabbed a bottle of lube and a condom, and held them out for
Sledge to take.

Sledge
stared down at them in shock, the realisation of what he’d almost done hitting
home. “I can’t do that.”

Corey
thrust the lube and condom at Sledge’s chest. “You’re the one who started
this.”

“I
didn’t mean to,” Sledge said, backing up, his lust transforming into fear. He
hadn’t been thinking when he’d almost porked Corey, but now his brain cells
were functioning he knew he couldn’t go through with it.

“Don’t
do this, Sledge,” Corey said, looking like he wanted to throw the lube at him.
“You would’ve fucked me if I didn’t stop you, so loosen me up with your
fingers, then we can—”

“Hell
no!” Sledge’s eyes widened, feeling like they were going to swallow his face.
“That’s fuckin’ disgusting.”

“Is
not! You were about to shove your cock up there a few seconds ago.”

“I
don’t care, you can stick your own fingers up your arse for all I care, but I
ain’t doin’ it.”

“Okay.”
Corey opened the bottle, squirted some lube onto his fingers, then stuck one
into his butt.

Sledge’s
eyes bulged. “What the fuck? I didn’t mean for you to actually do it.”

“I’ve
stuck more than my finger up there before,” Corey said, moving it in and out.

“But,
that’s gross.”

“Is
not!” Corey drew his uninjured leg up and pushed another finger inside, making
Sledge’s eyes bulge even more, the view not hiding a thing. He wished he could
stop looking, but his eyes were riveted to what Corey was doing, both disgusted
and turned-on at the same time, not sure how that could be possible, and not to
mention, he was so fucking freaked out, totally in disbelief that he was really
watching this, because who the hell stuck their fingers up their own arse? That
wasn’t something a normal guy would do, but Corey was never normal, because if
he was, Sledge didn’t think he would be imagining replacing those fingers with
his cock.