Behind the Mask (13 page)

After taking care of the horse, Cameron once again closed up the stable and fought his way through the storm toward the lodge. With the wind shrieking fiercely in his ears, for a moment he truly believed he’d lost his mind. A scream? Could it be? He stood still in the snow, listening carefully while something deep within ached to believe it was real. Again he heard a distant scream. He was certain of it. Lightning struck his heart as he bolted toward the pass. He felt strong and weak with excitement and fear. That cry for help was the first human sound he had heard since he’d sent the fiery-haired girl away. Had she come back? Could it possibly be real? Relentlessly he plowed forward, groping his way through the storm. He fell repeatedly in the snow, and the cold bit his bare hands and face, but his heart pumped measureless energy through his veins.

As Cameron reached the top of the rock crevice which formed the pass, he could vaguely see the outline of a woman lying motionless in the snow a short distance below. Moving carefully downward, he prayed she would be all right. Kneeling beside her, a tight knot gathered in his throat.
It was her
. With hesitance he reached out to touch her, brushing the snow from her face. Her skin felt cold but her eyes came languidly open at his touch.

“Thank God,” he murmured.

As her eyes closed again, the memory of Georg’s accident when they were children gave Cameron the confidence that he could handle this. He knew she was on the verge of unconsciousness, and he had to keep her awake. Grasping her beneath her arms, he pulled her to a sitting position and shook her face gently with his hand.

When Abbi first saw the bearded face looming above her, she thought she was dreaming. But when she felt strong arms go around her and a gentle hand on her face, she opened her eyes and saw him again.

“Are you hurt?” Cameron shouted to be heard above the wind, but she only gazed at him dumbly. “Are you hurt?” he repeated. “Answer me!”

“My ankle,” she managed, then her eyes closed again.

“Listen to me!” he shouted, startling Abbi. It took a strained effort to look at him. “I can’t get you out of here if you don’t pay attention and do what I tell you. Do you understand?” His voice was gruff and implacable. She nodded just enough to indicate that she did.

Cameron braced his back against the rock wall and pulled her up by holding beneath her arms. “Lean on me,” he ordered.

Abbi’s only awareness was the support this man gave her as she fell limply against him. He felt so strong, so sturdy. And she couldn’t deny her intense relief at being here with him for reasons far beyond knowing that he’d just saved her life.

With his arm around her, Cameron looked directly into her face and spoke loudly. “The only way I can get you out of here is on my back. I’m going to pull your arms around my neck. But you’ve got to hold on—tight! Do you understand?”

Abbi nodded. He turned and lifted her up, guiding her arms over his shoulders. Wrapping her legs around his waist, he held to her thighs to keep her steady.

“Hold tight!” he shouted and braced himself to move through the steadily deepening snow.

Abbi silently thanked God for sending this man to save her. As he moved upward, bracing himself carefully with each step, she felt as thrilled as she was afraid until an unnatural drowsiness overtook her again.

Cameron felt the woman relax against his back and hoped she’d stay conscious until he could get her inside near some heat. The wind worsened with every labored step and he sighed with relief to finally come through the door and leave the biting storm behind. He carried the woman to one of the sofas near the fire and set her down, turning to see her head droop. Grabbing her chin, he shook her head gently and sighed with relief to see her eyes come open in feeble surprise.

Seeing the bearded man again, Abbi became barely aware that she was inside the lodge, though she couldn’t recall getting there. Tired and weak, she wanted nothing more than to just go to sleep.

Cameron hurried to remove his coat and threw it to the floor. It only took seconds for the woman to droop over again, and he went to his knees beside her, shaking her almost roughly.

“Stay awake!” he shouted, imagining himself digging her grave.

Her eyes flew open at the sound of his voice and he spoke to her sternly. “You have got to stay awake until you get warm. If you want to survive, you’ve got to keep your eyes open. If you fall asleep now, you may never wake up. Do you comprehend what I’m saying?” Abbi nodded. “Speak to me!” he shouted.

“Yes,” she answered, barely audible.

The man seemed relieved at the sound of her voice, but Abbi thought he looked terribly worried. “Now we’ve got to get you out of those wet clothes,” he said, “before you catch your death.”

The woman remained silent, but Cameron sensed fear in her eyes. In an effort to ease the awkwardness of this necessary task, he said lightly, “If you think I’d take advantage of a woman in your condition, you should be thrown back down the mountain and left to the crows.”

Abbi instinctively felt safe when he smiled kindly, but her mind was so dazed that she doubted she would even notice if he
did
take advantage of her.

Cameron pulled the shoes from her feet and saw evidence of the injured ankle, but he knew he had to get her warm before attending to that. Trying to remain detached, he reached beneath her skirt to roll the stockings down her legs. A knot of dread rose in his throat. She was soaked to the skin. She felt as cold as if she were already dead.

As the man untied her cloak and began unbuttoning the bodice of her dress, Abbi found it easier to stay coherent. A dream-like quality hovered around her as his warm fingers efficiently removed her wet clothes. His face remained expressionless and his eyes met hers only once—intense blue eyes, she noticed, recalling their previous meeting clearly.

Cameron wrapped her firmly in a blanket and picked her up, carrying her to a bearskin rug near the fireplace. After stoking the fire generously, he turned to make certain she was still awake.

“I’m going to find something for you to wear,” he said. “Don’t get too close to the fire, now. If you get warm too fast it will do more harm than good.” Abbi tried to smile at him. She couldn’t have moved if she wanted to. He disappeared and she could feel the warmth from the flames. Gradually she began to feel cold again, when she’d felt nothing at all for quite some time.

Cameron returned to find her looking miserable instead of dazed. He pulled her to a sitting position and went behind her to unwrap the blanket. It surprised him to see several bruises showing on her back. “That must have been quite a fall you had back there,” he said while slipping one of his nightshirts over her head. Carefully he pulled her arms into it, wishing he didn’t feel so clumsy and awkward. As he laid her back down, he noticed she was starting to shake. “You’re shivering.” He smiled. “That’s a good sign, I think. I do hope nothing’s frozen.”

Cameron wrapped an extra blanket around her feet and put her hands underneath her arms. “They’ll stay warmer there,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”

Soon after he left, Abbi felt colder than she ever had in her life. Her shivering became so intense that it scared her. As her body regained feeling, her mind emerged back into reality. She had nearly died out there! Maybe she still would. Closing her eyes, she relived the fear of lying helpless in the snow. “Please God,” she prayed aloud through chattering teeth, “don’t let me die.”

“He won’t,” a deep voice said somewhere above her, and Abbi’s eyes shot open. “He sent me to find you, didn’t He?”

Remembering where she was, Abbi tried to show some relief. But her violent shivering made it impossible. “I’m so cold!” she cried.

“I know,” he said as he helped her sit up. “I’ve brought you some warm coffee. Try to drink it.”

He pressed the cup to her lips and Abbi tried to do as he’d said. But her lips were so cold that most of the warm liquid dripped from her mouth and ran over her throat. Cameron pulled the cup away and wiped the coffee from her skin with his shirtsleeve.

“Are you all right?” he asked, laying her back down. She looked up at him with fear in her eyes. “Good heavens,” he added, “that was a stupid question.”

Abbi tried to smile and let him know that his concern was reassuring. At least he wasn’t angry. But all she could do was shiver, and a moan escaped her.

Cameron sat silently near this woman while her shivering only worsened. He knew the best and fastest way to get her warm, but he felt reluctant to act on the knowledge for more reasons than he could count. Again she moaned and he could almost feel her misery. Frustrated by watching her suffer, he put all of his own fears aside. Thinking of nothing but her survival, he pulled off his boots and stockings, then unbuttoned his shirt. She looked up at him with questioning eyes, and he spoke as he took it off. “The best way to get you warm is to give you my own body heat. I’m going to hold you until you warm up. Do you understand?” She nodded and he slid inside the blankets next to her, wrapping his arms and legs around her. He drew her as close as possible and pressed the side of his face against hers, hoping that her nose and chin could take his warmth as well.

Abbi felt reassurance as well as warmth coming from his nearness, and instinctively she nuzzled close to him. As she continued warming, her toes, fingers, and parts of her face pained her terribly, and tears flowed unwillingly from her eyes. She felt sick as she pulled her aching hands out to look at them. Her fingers were swollen and discolored, and she wondered if she would be permanently disfigured.

Cameron saw her shocked expression and quickly put her hands back beneath her arms where they could warm out of sight. “Don’t worry,” he whispered, “you’ll be fine.”

The pain only increased, and Abbi moaned in helpless anguish. The man holding her muttered kind reassurances, but still she felt afraid of what the results might be.

Cameron closed his eyes and held her closer, instinctively wanting to give everything he had to save her. His thoughts took him into territory better left unexplored, but one reality stood out starkly. He had sent her away, and now she was back. And the horrible, wonderful irony was that he
couldn’t
send her away. He just wasn’t certain if that fact should be horrible or wonderful. He concluded that it was both.

While she absorbed his warmth, he absorbed her nearness. The very presence of a human life beyond his own felt unreal, dreamlike, almost magical. He felt his own human existence coming back to life through the simple evidence that he was not alone in this world. Hot tears gathered behind his closed eyelids while a warm sensation filled his entire being. He could almost believe that his mind and his spirit had been momentarily enlightened to some deeper purpose in this moment. His memories of their first meeting, his thoughts of her since, and the possible significance of the future all came together in an instant, leaving him deeply in awe.

He tentatively placed one hand into her wet hair, recalling well how it had looked in the sun the day he’d sent her away. He’d never imagined hair so beautiful. He’d indulged in fantasies of walking the streets of Horstberg and seeing her pass. He would have needed to look twice to assure himself that any person could indeed have such a striking head of hair, and then he would have looked again when he caught a glimpse of those unmatchable green eyes that silently dictated volumes of wisdom, soundly contradicting her aura of perfect innocence and naiveté. He could well imagine just from looking into her face that she was wholly unspoiled by the world, but at the same time understood its most human element in ways that could bring him to his knees. He would have followed her home and hovered at her door until she might consent to simply allow him to hold her hand or kiss her full lips. He would have worshiped her, as a knave worshiped a queen, a woman whose indifference to her own grace left her all the more graceful.

While Cameron had spent countless hours sharing a private relationship with this woman in his mind, he’d considered such an obsession harmless and empty, certain he would never see her again. But now the lonely hours he’d filled with thoughts of her left him unsettled and off balance. While he was holding her too closely to see her face, he studied his memory of it, willing his heart to calm down and his stomach to cease its violent fluttering. He’d worked very hard to convince himself that sending her away had been best for both of them, at the same time hating himself for having done it. A battle had raged inside of him ever since. Best in what regard? If he were somehow superhuman and capable of having his mind and spirit survive any degree of hell, then yes, her staying away was best. But she was here now, and she would be staying. Given the shape of his thoughts lately, he felt certain she had no idea the situation she had stumbled into, or the risk she would be taking to remain here with him while he hourly questioned his sanity. His mind wandered with the effects of her nearness, and he felt relatively certain that God would not approve of his version of the answer to his prayers.

Keeping his eyes closed, Cameron felt keenly attuned to her every movement, every subtle noise she made, as if his saving her life had already made him a part of it. Her need for the warmth he gave her was the first real purpose to his existence in more than three years, and he feared being able to ever let her go. Gradually her shivering ceased, along with any outward sign of pain. She lay still for a long while and he wondered if she’d fallen asleep. But he opened his eyes to find her staring at him with vivid green eyes—those eyes he remembered so well. For long moments he could only stare at her, searching for evidence that she was real. She returned his gaze as if she were attempting to do the same.

“Feeling better?” he asked.

“I think so,” she whispered in a raspy voice.

“Let me see your hands.”

Abbi found herself so lost in his eyes that it took her a moment to realize he’d told her to do something. She reluctantly eased her hands from beneath her arms and held them up.

“Ah, yes.” He smiled as he took them into his long fingers. “Much better. They might be a little tender, but I doubt there’s any damage.”