Behind the Secrets (Behind the Lives #4) (4 page)

“I put one on her a few years back.”

“Really? Why? What the hell happened?”

“One of my exes lied to her ’bout
sleeping with me. Unfortunately, Kara believed the lying ho bag and did her nut
at me. I lost my temper and tossed her shit outta my house, telling her to fuck
off. In retaliation, she took a sledgehammer to my car, so I put a restraining
order on her. She totally and utterly ignored it and wuz back in my bed by the
end of the week—right after she set fire to my ex’s house. Luckily the cops
couldn’t prove she did it.” He smiled, looking like he was thinking fondly of the
bitch.

Beth barrelled ahead, not wanting to
talk about the horrid woman. “Can I stay with you tonight?”

“No, I needa be alone for a few days, doc’s
orders, cos if I flip out again she’ll make me stay longer the next time. Plus,
all I wanna do is sleep. She’s given me drugs that are exhausting me.”

“Then she should give you different
ones.”

“No, I needa sleep and she’ll change
them next week.”

“Okay, then I’ll just stay for dinner.”

“You can’t, Jade has a musician coming
over. He doesn’t want anyone but me home. Just drop me off.”

“Can I come over tomorrow, then?” she
asked, starting up the car.

“’Kay.” He glanced at her. “Are you absolutely
certain you want me?”

“Yes,” she said, and this time she
wasn’t going to let Kara take her man away from her—
ever again.

4

Saul

Saul flicked through the files on Ant
Torres’s case, finding it hard to concentrate, the run-in with Beth affecting
him. She’d looked at him with fear, something he hated seeing on her face,
although he couldn’t blame her. He shoved the files aside and placed his elbows
on his desk, resting his head in his hands. He’d gone into the Craven and Torres
job with good intentions, yet had ended up being as bad as the criminals he’d
taken down. Every little thing he’d done as Craven’s right-hand man had eaten
away at him, wearing his idealism down until it what nothing but a pile of
shit. He’d killed people under Craven’s orders, beaten them, tortured them ... like
he’d been tortured. But he hadn’t been ordered to assault Beth ... that had
been purely his own doing, lust getting the better of him.

He looked up at the computer screen and
opened the file on Beth. A picture of a twenty-something Cook Island Maori
woman appeared. She had long black hair, tanned skin, hazel eyes, model-perfect
features... She was the epitome of his taste in women, minus her dumbfuck personality.
Not only was she irritatingly stupid, she gave off mixed signals, ones that had
fooled him into believing she’d wanted him. But she didn’t, she wanted Dante
Rata, a man-whore, who would probably end up cheating on her, which the stupid
woman deserved. While Saul deserved to go to jail for what he’d done to her. He
hadn’t meant to assault her. Again, the woman confused the shit out of him.
Maybe she’d just found him attractive, which was why he’d misread her. When it
came to women, he usually misread them, often confusing attraction for
something more. And he always chose to go after the wrong woman. If there were
two attractive women standing in front of him, one a bitch, the other nice,
nine times out of ten he’d end up with the bitch. He swore, just wanting to
find one woman who didn’t scream at him or dry up his credit cards. But he knew
if a bitch walked in, looking fine as hell, he’d probably still go after her,
no matter how much he knew it would end badly.

A knock on the door, made him jump.
“Come in.”

The door opened. A tall, slim blonde
walked in, dressed in police blues. Sarah was a mixture of pretty and plain, with
an extremely loyal personality. Regardless of his foul mood, he smiled at her,
Sarah’s presence always making him feel better. It wasn’t because he was
attracted to her, definitely not; she was just a close friend ... although he
knew she wanted to be more. But he’d shut her advances down when he’d first met
her, the woman not backwards in coming forward. If she saw someone she wanted,
she let them know, regardless of whether she had a chance or not, her
forthright personality endearing—most of the time.

Sarah stopped in front of his desk, her
expression concerned. “How was your appointment with the psychiatrist?”

Saul’s smile dropped.

“That bad?”

“I had to lie,” he said, trusting her
completely. Sarah was one of the few people who always had his back in the precinct.
Not only was she loyal, she had a heart of gold, someone who cared more about
other people’s welfare than her own.

She slipped into the chair in front of
his desk. “What did you lie about?”

He leaned back in his own chair. “That I
was all right to go back to work.”

“I thought you were going to say a lot
worse than that, like what you did under Craven’s orders.”

“I lied about half of that too.”

“Good, some things are best kept as
secrets, especially since the bureaucrats don’t understand what it’s like to be
undercover. Rules have to be flexible or we end up dead.” She ran a hand over
her hair, smoothing it down, her eyes sad.

Sarah had gone undercover in a biker’s club,
bringing down people she’d grown attached to—which was the difference between
him and her. He hadn’t grown attached to anyone while working for Craven. He
may have lusted after Craven’s wife and Beth, but it was just that—
lust
,
nothing more, love never factoring into the equation. He’d only loved one
woman, someone who was now beyond his reach, an angel no one could compete
with.

Sarah continued, “And if you’re feeling
guilty about what you did while undercover, that’s a good thing, because once
the guilt stops it makes you as bad as the criminals.”

“I
am
as bad as the criminals. You’d
balk at what I did as Craven’s right-hand.”

“You were doing a job, and very well too.
Plus, you’re a good man, Saul. You just have to remember that.”

“I don’t feel good. I feel as dirty as
that prick Torres.”

Sarah grimaced. “
No
one is as
dirty as that repugnant waste of space. Don’t
ever
compare yourself to
him again. You’re not a rapist or a murderer.”

Saul exhaled loudly, feeling like a
rapist, his assault on Beth dogging his mind. “I have killed,” he said, unable
to voice his guilt over Beth, “and brutally.”

“Like I had to. And if you need to talk
to someone else who won’t say a word to anyone, no matter what you say, whether
it’s about murder or not, I know a psychiatrist who is totally trustworthy.”

“Who?”

“My cousin. I’ve told her things that
would land me in jail, and all she did was help me come to terms with them.
She’s like a priest in that sense - no matter what you say, it won’t leave her
lips.”

“I don’t—”

“Don’t say no, just consider it.” She
pushed to her feet and pulled out a card, holding it out for Saul to take. “Here’s
her number. Mention you’re the good friend I’ve told her about.”

He took the card and slipped it into his
shirt pocket, knowing he wouldn’t use it. “You’ve talked about me?”

She smiled sadly at him. “You did break
my heart.”

“Sarah—”

She waved a hand at him. “Forget about
it, my cousin helped me move on, and you’re family to me now; I don’t want to
hide anything from you.”

He nodded, knowing he couldn’t do the
same.

She pointed at his pocket. “I’ll be
asking my cousin if you’ve called, so don’t throw that card away. I know what
you’re like.” She went to leave, but turned back. “I almost left without
telling you why I came in. Do you know a Beth Connor?”

Saul went rigid.

Sarah raised her eyebrows. “Well, that
was a resounding yes. What’s your issue with her?”

“She was one of the women in Craven’s
Russian roulette game. Why did you mention her?”

“Did you have a relationship with her?”

“Why?” Saul asked, forcing his voice to
stay calm.

“The boss said, when you two ran into
each other earlier there was a lot of tension, like the way exes act. If you
did have a relationship with her, he wants to know, otherwise it could
compromise the Torres case. Did you?”

“No.”

Sarah frowned. “I know you too well,
Saul, and when you act tense like this, it’s a sure sign you’re lying.”

“I didn’t have one with her!”

Sarah jumped, her expression surprised.

Saul exhaled loudly. “I’m sorry, I
didn’t mean to shout. I was interested in Beth, but she wasn’t in me. End of
conversation.”

“The conversation isn’t finished until I
say it is.”

“
Sarah
,” Saul said in a warning
tone.

She held up a hand. “You may not want to
talk about it, but understand this: the boss is suspicious. I’d suggest you
smooth things over with Beth to make sure she doesn’t say anything that could
get you into trouble.”

“What makes you think she would do
that?”

“Just by your reaction, so go see her.
This case is too important for you to allow bad blood to get in the way.”

“It’s best I don’t see her, I could make
things worse.”

“Or you could make them even more so by
ignoring the problem.” She pointed at a spot on the floor. “I will be right
back here tomorrow, checking that you’ve sorted things out.”

“You act like you’re the boss.”

“No, I’m acting like a friend, who knows
how hard you’ve worked to bring down Torres. Don’t allow this woman to ruin
years of work.
End of conversation
.” She turned and left the office,
closing the door behind her.

Saul placed his head in his hands again,
feeling like he was in an even worse position than before.

His mobile started ringing. He grabbed
it, answering, “Detective Vaega speaking.”

A gruff voice came over the line. “So,
that’s your real surname.”

Saul stiffened, surprised to hear Ant
Torres’s voice. “You’re supposed to be under house arrest.”

Ant continued, “I still am, though many
of my men aren’t. By the way,
Vaega
doesn’t sound like a common name. I’m
sure it wouldn’t take long for my men to track down your family. I reckon you’d
crumble if I posted you one of their fingers, like you did when you thought
Beth was going to die. You totally blew your cover, you pussy. I had no idea
you were a cop until you did that. Was it worth blowing your cover for that worthless
bitch?”

“How did you get my number and who gave
you a phone? You’ve been forbidden to make calls. This could get you thrown
into prison.”

“No it won’t, because no one can prove
anything. You can’t even trace this call. You forget that I have a considerable
amount of money on my hands, which gives me privileges—”

Saul hung up, not allowing Ant to finish,
furious that the prick had gotten his number. He picked up his desk phone to
report the infraction, stopping as his mobile went off again. He swiped it up
and snapped, “You can’t call me!” He went to hang up again, stopping as Ant said
Beth’s name. “What about her?!”

Ant laughed. “She’s my ticket to making
you
do what I want.”

“If you think you can use her to blackmail
me, think again, it won’t work. I’ll be reporting this call to my boss.”

“You might want to reconsider that,
Saul, considering I have information that could bury you. One of those juicy
morsels is to do with Beth Connor. You were stupid to think I wouldn’t learn
about your dirty little secret in regards to that woman.”

“What secret?” Saul said, hoping like
hell Ant didn’t know about his assault on Beth.

“That you wanted to fuck her—
raw
.”

Saul gripped onto the phone. “Nothing
happened between me and her.”

“Don’t lie, Saul. I know everything that
went on between you and Dante Rata’s woman.”

“You have no proof.”

“All my lawyers need is one grain of
doubt, something that links you with the Connor family, so they can discredit
your testimony.”

Saul loosened his grip on the phone,
realising that Ant didn’t know jack-shit, otherwise he’d be going into detail,
revelling in the knowledge. Instead, all the dreg was doing was grasping at
straws. “You don’t have anything to back up your lies, all of it conjecture. I
have had no romantic involvement with that woman, nor do I ever want to.”

“That’s not what I witnessed in the gun range.
You looked terrified for her life. It’s why you pulled a gun on my father. So,
I’m sure I can scrape up something to weaken your case against me, as well as Corey’s.”

“Beth’s brother’s evidence is airtight.”

“Nothing is airtight, especially when I
have people on the outside working for me. By the way, don’t think you’re safe
in your little office, where you get paid shit. Beth’s not safe either, only her
cute little brother is—because I want him riding my big fat cock. But I can
guarantee yours and Beth’s safety if you’re willing to assist my lawyers—”

“I will have you up on those threats!”

“You can’t do a thing behind your bureaucratic
desk. And remember, Saul, I know
everything
you did while undercover.
Your word will mean shit in court. Not only that, my lawyers will discredit
your little girlfriend’s testimony as well. Maybe they could visit her and see
exactly
what your relationship is with her.”

“They can’t go near her!”

“Oh, I do apologise, you’re quite right.
However
... my men don’t have the same restraints. By the way, did you
know that Morris loves going out for nice long drives in his car? Maybe he
could cut through Beth’s neighbourhood. Though, he does have a bad habit of
running out of petrol. But then again, if he
happens
to run out of
petrol on Beth’s street, I’m sure she’ll let him use her phone to call for roadside
assistance. And once she lets him inside...” He hung up.

Saul yelled out. Absolutely furious, he shot
out of his chair and grabbed his coat, needing to make sure that Beth got
protection.

He headed down the passageway to his
boss’s office, knocking on the door loudly.

Joseph barked out, “Come in before you
put a hole in it!”

Saul entered the room, closing the door
behind him.

Joseph scowled at him. “You don’t have
to put your fist through my goddamn door to get my attention. Now, what is it?”