Being Julia (A Forever Novella) (5 page)

Tears started to fill my eyes again as I looked up at the ceiling. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t talk to you because you would tell Dad or you’d lecture me and try to talk me out of it. I think I love him, Mom.”

“Oh, Julia, love is so complicated. You may think you love him, but at sixteen, it’s hard for you to understand what love is. You’re going to have so many more boyfriends that you think you love, until that one special person who knocks the breath right out of you, looks at you.”

“I bet you had a lot of boyfriends at my age.”

“I dated a couple of guys, but nobody wanted to get involved with the girl who had cancer. To be honest, before I met your dad, I had one boyfriend, and we dated for four years. His name was Kyle.”

“Wow, four years and you broke up? Why?”

“That’s another story that I’m not ready to get into with you yet. I’ll just say that he left me in our tiny apartment, and it wasn’t too long after that I met your dad.”

“Obviously, you loved Kyle if you were with him for four years,” I said.

“I did love Kyle. But there’s a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. I was with Kyle out of convenience, and I didn’t have anyone to guide me and tell me otherwise. He was there when my father died and he was a source of comfort, so I just stayed with him. I just wish you would have waited to have sex and talked to me about it first. This was your first time, right?”

“Yes, Mom, it was my first time, and I don’t see what the big deal is. Sex isn’t anything special or great. It hurt, it was awkward, and I’m feeling lousy about myself. I thought I was supposed to be glowing and feeling great. God, I can’t believe I’m going to say this to you, but you and Dad must have amazing sex because you’re always glowing.”

She smiled at me and laughed lightly. “You want to know the truth? We do. Your father is an amazing man, in and out of the bedroom.”

“Mom, stop it! That’s way too much information, ew.”

“Julia, you’ll know when the time is right, and you’ll know when you meet the man of your dreams. You’re only sixteen, sweetie. You don’t need the complications of a boy or a relationship in your life. You’ll have plenty of time for that,” she said as she kissed me on the head and got up from the bed.

“Hey, Mom,” I said as she went to leave the room.

“Yes, sweetie.”

“Am I still grounded?”

She tilted her head and pursed her lips. “Yeah, baby, you’re still grounded.”

“Can I ask you one more thing?”

“What is it, Julia?”

“Why did you come home?” I asked.

“The plane was having mechanical problems, so we never left the airport.”

“Oh,” I said as she walked out the door.
Just my luck.

Chapter 6

I stayed in my room the rest of the night and thought about what my mom and I had talked about. The next morning was Sunday. Every Sunday, we had family breakfast. My mom said it was the one day of the week that we had to eat breakfast as a family. I didn’t want to go downstairs because I couldn’t face my dad after yesterday. There was a knock at my door and Collin told me it was time to eat. I took in a deep breath and headed downstairs. When I walked into the kitchen, I saw my dad sitting at the table, drinking his coffee, and looking at the newspaper. He didn’t look up at me like he did every morning. I walked over to my mom and kissed her good morning. I avoided my dad because I didn’t know how he’d react. Breakfast was silent, and it was uncomfortable. I ate my eggs and walked my plate to the sink. Before walking out of the kitchen, I stopped and turned around.

“I have homework I have to do, and I need my computer to do it.”

My dad looked up at me with anger in his eyes. “You can use my computer in my office for your school work. You’re not getting your laptop back.”

“Dad, please, I’m sorry,” I pleaded.

“Sorry isn’t going to cut it this time, Julia.”

“Dad, come on,” Collin said.

“Stay of this, son. This has nothing to do with you. This is between my daughter and me.”

I was so angry, I thought that maybe my mom would have talked some sense into him last night and he would have at least forgiven me, but I guess I was wrong. My heart was racing as I blurted out, “I wish you were never my father!”

He got up from the table and stared at me as he shook his head. “Get your ass upstairs. I don’t want to see you the rest of the day or night!” he yelled.

“Don’t worry about it; you won’t have to,” I cried as I ran up the stairs and to my room.

I threw myself on the bed and sobbed. I didn’t know if I was crying because I got caught having sex or because I hurt my dad and he was disappointed in me. I needed to get out of here. I couldn’t stay here anymore. I looked out my bedroom window as the clouds covered the sky. There was one place to which I needed to go. A place where I knew I could think and find some sense of peace. I packed a light bag because I didn’t know if I was going to be coming back for a while. I heard my mom and Collin leave, which meant I was home alone with my dad. After getting dressed, I put my hair up in a ponytail and put on my shoes. I carefully opened the door and stepped outside my room, looking down the hallway and making sure he wasn’t around. I tiptoed down the stairs to the kitchen and peeked around the corner to see if he was in there. He wasn’t. I would bet he was in his office. I couldn’t take the elevator out of the penthouse because he would hear the doors open, so I quietly opened the front door and stepped out, pulling it closed as softly as I could behind me. As I let out a deep breath, I took the elevator down to the lobby and left the building.

It looked like it was going to rain as I walked to Central Park, but I didn’t care. Rain or shine, it was still my place of solace. I found an open spot on the grass in the Conservatory Gardens and I sat myself down, bringing my knees to chest. Tears started to fall, as did the rain from the sky. I looked up and let the raindrops hit my face while I pondered about how much my life sucked. The rain was cool as it hit my skin and I sobbed with my head buried into my knees.

“I never thought that I’d be here, doing this with my daughter,” I heard a voice say from behind.

I lifted my head and looked behind me, as my dad stood a few feet away from me, holding an umbrella. “Spare me the talk, Dad. There’s nothing else you can say that will hurt me more than I’m already hurting.”

He walked over to me and sat down. I couldn’t believe my dad was sitting on the wet grass. “I knew I’d find you here.”

I looked at him as he handed me a small towel. “How did you know where I was?”

“This is the one place your mom would always run to after we’d have an argument. I went to your room to talk to you and you were gone.” He smiled. “You’re just like your mom.”

“Is that a bad thing?” I asked.

“No, baby, it’s not. Your mom is an amazing woman and you should be very proud to be like her.”

I smiled softly at him as he took a hold of my hand. “Julia, I’m sorry for earlier and the way I yelled at you. I’ve done some things in my life that I’m not proud of. In fact, I’ve done many things that I regret, and I don’t ever want you to have any regrets in life. You’re my princess, and I’d do anything to protect you and make sure that you don’t have any regrets.”

“You can’t always do that, Daddy. You’re going to have to let me make mistakes because it’s the only way I’ll learn, and yesterday was a mistake,” I said as I looked down.

He took in a sharp breath and put his arm around me, pulling me into him. “My sweet baby girl, we all make mistakes, but you’re only sixteen years old. What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking about how much I wanted to be loved by someone the way you love Mom. All of my friends’ parents are divorced or can’t stand each other. But you and Mom, your love is like nothing I’ve ever seen. It’s real and it’s natural, and sometimes hard to believe with the things I’ve seen in this world. That’s the kind of love I want.”

“Baby, you’re only sixteen. You’re trying to grow up way too fast. You’ll find someone who will love you like your mom and I love each other someday, when you’re older. I never knew what love was until I was thirty years old, and it was the first time that I saw your mom.”

I lifted my head up and looked at him. “When you saw her in the kitchen after your drunken night at the club?”

He raised his eyebrow at me. “She told you about that?”

“Yes, and she said something about a list of rules you had and how you thought she broke one of them. What’s that about?”

“Nothing that you ever need to know about. The only thing you need to know is that my list of rules was one of my regrets,” he said as he kissed the top of my head.

“Mom said I’ll know who the right person is when he looks at me and takes my breath away.”

His grip around me tightened. “She’s right. You’ll know it in an instant. Now, do you think we can go somewhere else and talk? It’s really raining, and I’m tired of being wet.”

I laughed as I pulled away from him. “Let’s go home, Dad.”

He took my hand and we walked out of the park. “I’m really sorry, Dad. I never meant to hurt you, and if I could take back the events of yesterday, I would.”

“I know you’re sorry, Julia,” he said.

We climbed into the Range Rover and headed home. “Go upstairs and get into some dry clothes. We’ll go out to lunch and stop by the store to get a new phone, since you broke yours.”

“I’ll pay for it. I’m sorry; it was all my fault.”

“It’s okay, Princess. Do you have any idea how many phones your mom has broken because of me?”

I laughed at him as we headed upstairs and went into our bedrooms to change. As soon as I changed into some dry clothes, I knocked on his door, and he told me to come in. “Are you ready, Dad?”

He sat down at the end of the bed and patted for me to come sit next to him. “I have one question, Julia, and please don’t be embarrassed by it. I need to know that Brody used a condom.”

Oh God, I wanted to die when I heard those words come from my father. I knew it took everything he had to ask that. “Yes, Dad, we used a condom. If it makes you feel any better, it wasn’t a good experience at all, and I consider it one of my regrets.”

I saw his eyes fill with tears. He put his arm around me, and I put my head on his shoulder. “Oh, sweetheart, it’ll be one of the best experiences of your life when you’re one hundred percent ready. I promise you,” he whispered as he kissed me. “Now, let’s go get some lunch. Where do you want to go?”

“The Shake Shack.” I smiled. “They have the best burgers in the world!”

My dad looked at me, shook his head, and sighed. “All right, if you insist on a lunch full of grease. You certainly are your mother’s daughter.”

“Nah, I’m just kidding, Dad. I know how much you hate that place.” I laughed. “Let’s go to that restaurant where we get those really good salads.”

“Now, you’re talking.” He smiled as we both got up from the bed.

****

The first thing we did was
stop at the store to get my new phone. My dad brought my broken one with him so they could try to transfer all of my contacts and pictures. As soon as I got my new phone, we walked arm and arm down the streets of New York to the restaurant. When we arrived, we were promptly seated, and I couldn’t help but notice the table of women sitting across from our table. They watched as my father strutted across the restaurant and sat down in the booth. Their staring continued throughout our lunch. I told my dad that I needed to use the restroom and that I’d be right back. I watched as their eyes diverted to me when I walked by as they looked me up and down. After I used the bathroom, I walked over, sat down across from my dad, and looked at the women at the table across from us.

“Hi, do I know you?” I asked with a wide smile.

“Julia, stop,” my dad said.

I got up and walked over to the table,
still asking the women if I knew them. “Are you sure we haven’t met before? What about him, over there?” I asked as I pointed to my dad, who was giving me an evil look.

“No, I don’t believe we’ve met,” one of the women spoke up.

“Really,” I said as I put my hand on my hip and looked at each of them. “See, I thought maybe we knew each other by the way you were staring at me and my father since the moment we entered the restaurant. So, since we don’t know each other, then I’m going to assume that you won’t be looking our way anymore. Am I correct?”

The women looked at each other in embarrassment and then looked at me and nodded their heads. “Enjoy the rest of your lunch, ladies.” I smiled as I sat down.

“Julia Rose, what the hell?”

“Daddy, please. They wouldn’t stop staring so I thought maybe we had met before and I just didn’t remember.”

We got up from the booth and, as I walked in front of my father, I heard him apologizing to the women at the table. We stepped outside and my dad hooked his arm around my neck.

“You just wait until I catch some boys staring at you,” he said in a sinister voice.

****

We entered the penthouse, and my mom came walking from the kitchen. She walked over and kissed my dad on the lips, and then put her arm around me and kissed me on my head.