Believing Lies (17 page)

“There’s a blanket and pillow in the hall closet,” I said on autopilot. I stood up and walked to my room. I closed my door and sat on my bed, bringing my knees under my arms and burying my head.

I waited with bated breath, wondering which I’d hear open—the closet or the front door. I was betting on the front door. Hell, I was hoping for the front door, simply to save me the pity and awkwardness the morning would surely bring. The silence that ensued was torture. When I almost couldn’t stand it anymore, I heard faint footsteps. He was moving in the hall, which meant he was going to the closet for a blanket.
It’ll be fine. Just pretend as if nothing happened when you wake up
. My head shot up as the door to my room opened. The lights in the hall and in my room were off, but the moonlight and city lights shining through my window allowed me to see him standing in my doorway. He was so beautiful.

“I’m sick of fighting it,” he said quietly, his head hung low.

I climbed off of my bed and slowly walked to him on unsteady legs. I stood directly before him and used my hands to guide his face to mine. His eyes were wary, but behind the wariness I could see the desire.

“Then stop fighting it. I have.” I moved to my tiptoes to close the small distance separating us and ever so slightly brushed my lips to his. I don’t know where my confidence was coming from, but it was only there by a fragile thread. Instead of kissing me back, he took a miniscule step backwards. When he turned away from me, the sight of his back almost ruined me. The thread was cut.

I was seconds away from slamming the door when he turned around. I no longer saw hesitation. He was looking down at me with a heated stare, his jaw clenched. In an instant, his hands grasped my waist, to the point of being almost painful, and his mouth covered mine. This was nothing like the soft kiss on the couch. He kissed me deep and hard as he moved forward, pushing me backward with his body until the wall stopped us. Never breaking the savage kiss, he moved one hand from my waist and used it to pull my arms above my head, pinning me in place. A shiver rocked through me as his body molded to mine. I could feel his desire pressing against me. I’d never felt so powerful and vulnerable all at once. The hand that was still on my waist snaked down my thigh, and I raised my leg at his touch. He roughly grabbed it and pulled me up, both of my legs immediately wrapping around his waist in desperation to get closer. I was completely at his mercy.

I moaned into his mouth, and he broke the kiss. I worried that I had done something wrong until I saw the possessive and wild expression on his face. He went for my neck—sucking, licking, kissing, and even biting. I moaned louder. He let go of my arms, so he could hold up my body with greater ease. My own hands freed, I roughly grabbed his hair. He was grinding himself against me, causing excruciating pleasure to build inside of me.

“Adam, please, I need you. Don’t stop,” I pleaded with him in between short breaths, my heart racing.

“I need you too, Princess.” His voice sounded raspy and thick. Once again, he claimed my mouth in brutal abandon.

After hearing him call me “Princess” and confess to needing me too, there was absolutely no way I was turning back.
I was his
. I started to pull his shirt up and ran my hands up his lower torso and back. I wanted him so much that it was getting painful. I knew that although he came to my room, it was reluctantly, and he may still stop this at any moment. I was scared his previous hesitation would return. I needed to make him understand what I wanted without having him put up his defenses. Terms like “making love” or “sex” weren’t going to do it, but I knew the three words that would. I nipped his bottom lip and then moved my mouth to his ear. I sucked his earlobe once and whispered, “Fuck me, Adam.”

His breath sharply hissed through his teeth. In a whirlwind, I was carried to the edge of my bed and roughly tossed onto it, landing on my back with a thump. Adam stood over the bed, his eyes smoldering as he looked upon me. This was the complete opposite of how I’d expected my first time to be. I’d always pictured it being romantic and gentle. Here I was being roughly handled and tossed around, and I’d never been so turned on in my entire life. Cocking my eyebrow, I crooked my finger for him to come to me.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” he muttered, almost to himself.

In a fluid motion, he pulled his shirt over his head, allowing it to fall to the floor. I had only a few seconds to take in his sinewy muscles and the perfect V of his hips before he was on the bed, stretching his body over mine. With expert skill, he used one hand to abruptly arch my back and the other to hastily tug my shirt over my head and undo my bra before throwing them to the side. Both his mouth and hands were drawn to my naked chest like a magnet.

I was anxious. I was needy. I grabbed his hair and pulled his mouth back to mine. I started to sit up while still kissing him, my hands keeping him locked to me. Upright, I let go of his hair, and my fingers scratched down his sides until I reached his jeans. I grasped for his belt and hastily fumbled to undo it. My entire world was spinning, but I was a woman on a mission. Freeing the belt, I went for the button, but he covered my hand with his, stopping me.

Adam reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. I was slightly confused, until he pulled out a foil packet. He set the condom on the bed and tossed the wallet to the floor. He quickly finished what I had begun, maneuvering until his pants and boxer briefs were off. His fingers teased the top edge of my shorts before he hooked his fingers on the elastic of both the shorts and my panties and, with one firm tug, pulled them off my body. The reality of what was about to happen nudged at the corner of my mind, but the thought was soon pushed back. I wanted this. I needed this. No, I needed
him
.

His hand moved down my thigh as he sucked one of my nipples into his mouth. I moaned as his fingers found their destination and began to make small circles. When the pressure began to build, I bit my lip. I was so wet, it was almost embarrassing.

“Adam. Now. Please.” It came out as a breathy demand.

A dirty grin played upon his lips. He removed his hand and gripped my hips. He pressed himself against my entrance and hesitated. As he hovered over me, looking into my eyes, I knew he was asking permission and giving me a last chance to change my mind. My hand searched the bed until I felt the condom. I brought it to my mouth and tore it open with my teeth. My inner vixen fist pumped in triumph. This was the point of no return. He took the packet from my fingers, put on the condom, and within seconds I felt him enter me.

“You’re so tight,” he gritted out. My muscles clenched at the intrusion. He abruptly froze inside of me when he hit my barrier. He searched my face frantically for an answer to his unasked question. I gave the slightest nod and then watched the realization hit him like a ton of bricks.

“Shit. Please tell me to stop,” he whispered. “You can’t want this—not with me.” His voice broke.

I could see him warring with himself, so I lifted my hips in response. “Yes—with you.”

He claimed my mouth in a deep kiss, and then he claimed my body with one sharp movement. I screamed against his lips. The pain was worse than I’d thought it would be. He stilled, allowing me time to adjust to the feeling. He pulled his mouth from mine and looked at me, concern written all over his face. He brushed a stray lock of my hair to the side and caressed my cheek. His tenderness, more so than the pain, caused a tear to cascade down my cheek.

“I’m so sorry, Princess. I didn’t mean to hurt you . . . I promise it’ll get better,” he softly reassured me and kissed the tear away.

I took his face in my hands and kissed him tenderly. “It’s okay, Adam. It doesn’t hurt anymore. I don’t want you to stop,” I coaxed softly. We slowly began to move together. Pleasure began to take place as the stinging subsided. It felt so amazing, but I could tell he was holding back. I wanted more. “Harder,” I urged.

“Are you sure?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

He granted my request. He slowly glided out before returning hard and deep. I screamed. This time, in a good way. Over and over he continued this pattern.

“I’ve wanted this since the moment I saw you,” he spoke into my neck as his pace quickened. I loved the way it felt. I responded eagerly, wrapping my legs around him tightly. I cried out as I dug my fingernails into his back. He began to move at a frantic pace, seemingly possessed. My entire body was spiking with heat until I was engulfed in flames. He brought his head to my breast and bit my nipple. The mixture of the sensations caused my body to completely shatter and fall apart. He crashed his mouth to mine in a passionate, soul possessing kiss as he came with me. It was hard to tell where he ended and I began.

He pulled out slowly and removed the condom, tossing it into the small trashcan near my bed. We laid in a sweaty tangle of arms and limbs until our erratic breathing slowed. My bed was messed, but we were still on top of the comforter. He lifted my spent body enough to tug down the bedding and pull the covers over us. He gently rolled me over, so that I was lying on him with my head on his chest. I absentmindedly began to trace his tattoo with my finger as I listened to his heartbeat.

“Adam, I think . . .”
Adam, I think I’m falling in love with you
. “Um . . .”

“Shhh.” He stroked my back with the tips of his fingers. “Go to sleep, Princess.”

There were so many thoughts and emotions ricocheting through my head that I didn’t think sleep was possible, but I nodded. I closed my eyelids and focused on his heart beating against my ear and his fingers caressing my back. Soon I drifted off into the deepest sleep possible.

Chapter Fourteen

I squinted as morning light shined onto my face. I stretched, finding my body slightly sore. Flashbacks of last night sped through my mind, and I smiled.
Adam
. I rolled over, ready to see if he was up for round two, but the bed was empty. I shot straight up and peered over the side of the bed and found only my set of battered clothing lying on the floor. Panic set in as my eyes darted around the room looking for any sign of him.
How could I have been so stupid?
Of course he was gone. What had I expected? Adam Korbell wasn’t the guy who stays. Nope, Adam Korbell was the guy who leaves right away.

Calm down. Maybe he’s making coffee or something
. I was getting worked up when I didn’t have all of the facts. I stopped jumping to conclusions and got out of bed. I instantly noticed the red stain on my comforter.
Just flippin’ perfect!
Guess I was going shopping today because there was no way that stain was coming out in the washer. I hastily pulled on my robe before leaving my room. I was still holding on to the hope that I would find Adam waiting for me. My hopes were shattered when I was greeted by an empty apartment. I checked my phone for a text or voicemail and checked the counter for a note, but I was looking for something that didn’t exist. I felt defeated and used. How could I have thought that I meant something to him? I’d just lost my virginity on the delusion that I wasn’t just another notch on his bedpost—well, technically
my
bedpost.

I opened the cupboard and pulled out a bottle of vodka. Since I had just been screwed over, I figured a screwdriver would be a fitting breakfast. I opened the fridge to get the orange juice but stopped short when I saw the juice was buried behind the Chinese food takeout containers. Seeing the little white boxes standing there, mocking me, a red haze blurred my vision. My temper didn’t rear its ugly head often, but when it did, I really blew up . . . and right now I was fuming! I picked up the first container I could grab and chucked it across the kitchen with as much force as I could muster, watching as it exploded fried rice all over the wall and floor. I slammed the fridge shut at the exact moment the front door opened.
Shit. Maybe it’s Adam, and I just acted like a fucking crazy person for no reason
.

Seeing Sophie walk into the kitchen was bittersweet. “Sienna, what the hell happened?” she questioned, looking at the food splattered everywhere.

I just stared at her dumbfounded.
Adam isn’t coming back
. Disappointment rained down on me. In my warped mind, I imagined there was a little gray cartoon cloud over my head dropping little cartoon raindrops on only me.

“Sienna? Earth to Sienna. Hello?” Sophie was snapping her fingers in front of my face when I finally came back to reality. “Are you okay? Why is there Chinese food everywhere?” She sounded worried and a little hysterical too.

“Yeah, fine. Just had a little accident. I’ll clean it up,” I tonelessly replied. I was going to go get a rag and broom, but she grabbed me by the arm, eyeing me up and down before letting me go. She picked up the vodka bottle and put it back in the cupboard.

“Want to tell me what’s really going on?” she gently asked, concern etched on her face. The problem with being mad was that it could easily turn into sadness. Some tears hit the floor before I used my sleeve to wipe the rest away. “Does this have to do with Adam?”

“How did you know that?” I asked quietly.

“I’m having a case of déjà vu this morning, which I’ll explain after you fill me in first.”

I counted to five in my head and pulled my shit back together. “Let me clean this up before the whole place stinks, and then I’ll tell you everything.”

“I’ll help.”

We cleaned up the mess I’d made, and then Sophie took the garbage out of the apartment to throw it down the trash chute while I went to get dressed in some running shorts and a T-shirt. I really wanted to take a shower, but I knew she was waiting for me.

Sophie brewed some coffee and brought a cup into the living room for me. Normally my
Gone with the Wind
mug made me smile. Today, it just reminded me of Rhett leaving Scarlett at the end of the movie. “
Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” . . . Ha! No shit, Rhett. Story of my life
. I took a sip, set it down, then took a long breath before telling her everything. I skipped the exact details of what happened in my bedroom, opting for the condensed version. She kept her reactions to a minimum while I spoke, but her eyes bugged out of her head, and her mouth dropped open more than once.