Bella (A Sagatori family saga-A Mafia Romance Book 6) (3 page)

Bella

I leaned my head on Tony’s shoulder letting my eyes rest for a few minutes before the plane landed.

“Do you know what’s going on?” I whispered knowing the two new guys on board couldn’t hear me. They had no ties to me and therefore, no loyalty. Their loyalties would lie only with Jax.

He shook his head. “No.”

“Would you tell me if you did?”

He stilled. “No.”

I closed my eyes tight. “I know.” Tony and I were close our entire lives, but he was bound by blood and an honor I wasn’t apart of.

“I’m sorry, Bella.”

“I know, Tony, it’s okay. I understand there’s a code and all that.”

“Yeah.” His voice was gruff.

“He was so different today. I— I’ve never seen him like that.”

“I know.” He leaned his head onto mine. “Just remember he’s got a lot goin’ on right now, responsibility you know nothin’ about.”

“How am I supposed to remember that? I’m kept in the dark. I have no clue what he’s got going on.”

His shoulders rose as he drew a breath. “He’s got this, just hang in there.”

The plane jerked roughly with the release of the landing gear. “I hate this.” I cringed.

Anthony laughed, “Almost home.”

I tightly closed my eyes waiting to land.

The plane hit the ground with a powerful force slowing after several moments of intense grinding.

“You can breathe now.” Tony chuckled again while tapping on my shoulder.

“Thanks,” I said sarcastically. I really hated to fly. The only time it was even somewhat bearable was if Jax were sitting next to me. That was the only time I was comfortable on a plane or anywhere for the matter.

“It’s safer in the air than it is in a car. There’re more accidents on the road than the sky.” He unbuckled his seatbelt standing once the crew had rose from their seats.

I stuffed my iPad and phone into my bag and unbuckled my own seatbelt. “But the likelihood of surviving a car accident far surpasses the likelihood of surviving a plane accident. If the plane goes down you’re not coming back from that one.” I raised a brow.

His eyes lifted to the left as he considered what I’d said. “You’ve got me there.”

“Exactly.” I preened as the crew ushered us off Jax’s plane.

Once we were on solid ground, I sighed a breath of relief. Tony held the door signaling for me to enter the black Yukon. His walk was guarded, as he stood close. I’d known Tony my entire life. He was a surrogate brother, which made it easy for me to recognize when something was off. He’d drummed his fingers nervously with worry. I shook my head turning to the right gazing out of the darkly tinted window. He wouldn’t tell me what worried him just like Jax wouldn’t. Everyone in my family kept something from me on a daily basis.

We drove in silence to the penthouse, three SUV’s following with the one I was in being in the center. I rested my head against the warm glass watching as the trees quickly passed. A white car drove along the side; a little girl playing with a toy as she sat in her car seat, her parents in the front holding hands.

They had a normal life, he probably worked as a banker or insurance agent while she was likely a schoolteacher or stay at home mother, I imagined. There were no guards, no one at risk of getting shot or harmed because of what he did for a living. They could freely travel alone as a family and embrace one another without someone watching their every move.

My palm covered the left side of my face shielding the saddened expression I’d felt paint my face. I drew in a deep breath readjusting into the leather seat. We were only a mile from the penthouse, and I needed to decide what I would do once I arrived.

Would I stay? Would I go? I wouldn’t go, and as much as I hated that Jax had spoken to me with such dominance, I’d also grown up in this life. Living in the presence of the boss of bosses my entire life groomed me for what was to come. Being the wife of the boss came with certain responsibilities. I knew that, I did, but I didn’t like it; I didn’t like any of it. I wanted Jax to throw his jacket on the chair when he came home from work, sip a brandy, and tell me about his day while I lay my head in his lap.

The three vehicles pulled through the security gates of the parking garage in unison as each one bounced over the metal threshold. My eyes fixed on the familiar surroundings of the garage seeing vehicles I’d seen every day. I was attempting to focus on something other than what I knew I’d needed to. The velocity of what had happened in Detroit was beyond measure. How was I going to continue in this marriage after what had happened?

I sighed feeling the car complete its stop at the entrance to the building.

The driver, whom I didn’t know, gave a slight turn nodding as he unlocked the doors. I didn’t speak, not even a breath left my lips as my heels scratched against the concrete below me.

“Ma’am.” Able, one of Jax’s men, nodded as he held the door. I didn’t know him and honestly I couldn’t have cared less about him just then. I’d normally have nodded or politely smiled thanking him, but the feelings for good decency had been washed away. I was empty and void of all emotion.

I began stepping toward the elevator, hearing my heels clank with each step. Tony remained close and as we approached the elevator, he swiped the keycard underneath the red scanner. Quickly the door opened revealing an empty box I’d once again be forced into. With another sigh I stepped inside and stood gripping my bag below my waist at my front.

The elevator held only Tony and myself and yet I didn’t feel any more relieved that those men weren’t hovering over me. I wanted to be completely alone, a bath, maybe sleep until I could feel something other than emptiness.

Tony held his hands in front of himself as he drummed his fingers along the dorsal of the other. Something was off—strange, my life was changing. MY LIFE! And yet, no one offered an explanation. I shook off the thought knowing it was futile.  My position in this life meant I’d never know.  I wanted to be angry, I wanted to force him to tell me something, anything, but I didn’t feel anger, I felt… nothing.

I took a deep breath forcing the stale air that lingered inside the elevator into my lungs, dropped my head, and closed my eyes. Eventually the doors opened presenting the entrance of the empty penthouse. Likely, Alessandra was home, but I hoped she wasn’t.

My bag dragged alongside as I walked through the opened door it catching the jamb as I entered. The loud clank of keys and a thud from the door echoed in the silence of… home.

A hand—guarded— sat upon my shoulder. “You okay?” Tony asked.

My hidden expression was flat—monotone—without feeling. I stared at the mirror Jax straightened his tie in every morning still as an image of me standing beside him played in my mind— me at his left, him at my right, a smile resting on his lips, and a raised brow reminding me of the amazing night we’d had.

I wasn’t okay.

I drew in a breath feeling it catch before my lungs had completely filled. I tried to speak, to say something, anything that would make me feel strong. I supposed I knew it wouldn’t matter—the words would almost certainly have no meaning, no distraction from the—nothing I’d felt.

“Bella?” Tony’s hand fell from my shoulder as I stepped forward in approach of the stairs.

Without a word spoken I clung to my bag as I continued dragging it alongside. I slowly ascended the stairs to my room two doors standing tall on either side of me after my climb. I slipped deeper into a dazed state the longer and further I was away from Jax, the numbness beginning to consume me. Why wasn’t I angry? Why wasn’t I… sad? Why wasn’t I there, coveting him, from whatever it was that threatened us?

I tucked loose strands of hair behind my ear letting my hand fall to my tummy—the tiny baby bump. I drew in a deep breath and turned to my room opening the door slipping inside. A hole remained in the wall from before we’d left. I smoothed my fingers along the drywall that surrounded the broken and jagged indention. He’d been upset when he’d smashed this. He knew something bad was coming. He’d warned me so many times not to leave Papa’s house. I dropped my hand from the wall fully entering the room.

I slipped my shoes off dropping my bag onto the floor along the way. Unfolding the blue satin and floral duvet I slipped in between the cool silky sheets. With a deep breath his scent filled my lungs pulling at me. I wrapped my arm over his pillow in hopes to feel closer to him as I slid it to my chest squeezing tightly. The first warm tear slid against my cool cheek as my eyes closed sending me into the darkness of sleep.

I was exhausted, drained. My insides were numb as I slipped further into my subconscious. His face—the perfection of his silhouette—the hardness of his stare coveted me and brought me the comfort I craved. His comfort and protection were the only things I craved more than my own life. I loved him.

***

“Bella?” I heard while feeling a soft nudge on my shoulder.

The voice was low as if she wasn’t sure that waking me was entirely the right decision. I wasn’t ready to face the world yet as my subconscious fell back into the darkness.

***

An uncomfortable pain and grumble from hunger followed with a kick from Ennio woke me from my sleep. I blinked trying to gain focus on the room as I pressed my palm against Jax’s pillow while lifting my head.

The room filled with darkness whereas when I’d fallen asleep light from the sun had filled it. I had hoped I’d at least sleep till morning. Needing to eat and use the restroom, I stood from the bed and padded across the room. Once I’d finished I padded through the room and out of the door. The entire apartment was silent and dark.

Passing the living room, I turned toward the kitchen excited to fill my starving tummy. The cool stone floor chilled my toes as I searched through the fridge for anything that could sate my hunger. Three small covered dishes sat front and center filled with food.

“Oh,” I said removing the closest investigating its contents. Pasta with red sauce filled the small container. “This will do nicely.” I smiled.

After microwaving the food, I padded across the apartment seeing Tony sleeping on the couch. I smiled, sat my dish on the small table next to the couch, and covered him with a throw blanket.

Once I was certain I hadn’t disturbed him, I continued to Jax’s office. I liked going there when he was gone. I suppose I felt close to him there—his personal space that had been christened by him and I many times over. I clutched my food dish in one hand turning the handle with the other. Immediately his fragrance hit my senses. A smile formed on my lips thinking he’d gotten home within the last few hours I’d been sleeping, but I knew that would be impossible if he were going to fix whatever had been going on.

My smile quickly faded to a soft frown as I fully took in the empty room. I flipped on
Nessum dorma
and curled inside of Jax’s leather chair enjoying the sounds as they filled the room.

I finished my food long after the song had ended resting the dish on the shiny desk. I drew in a deep breath closing my eyes as I curled back into his chair once more falling asleep.

***

“She must be exhausted.”

“I’ll put her into bed.”

“No—leave her be. She’s there to be close to him.”

“Yeah, okay.”

I heard Alessandra’s soft voice. I wanted to open my eyes and acknowledge the two in the room, but I couldn’t.

“Let me repay your kindness.” I heard a kind male voice—Tony—say with the pressure of a blanket covering my body. “Sleep well, Bella.”

***

My neck screamed as I repositioned myself inside of Jax’s chair. “Oh!” I winced, waking as the muscle I’d pulled crippled me.

The door quickly opened. “You okay?” Dominic flung himself at me with worry. “Is something wrong?”

I blinked rapidly seeing only his dark eyes. “I’m—yeah, it’s just a pulled muscle.” I placed my palm on his suit-clad chest pushing him back.

“Oh sorry.” He stood to his feet reaching his full height.

“What time is it?” I slid my foot from under my bottom placing it to the floor.

“Ten in the morning.”

“Oh I must’ve been tired to sleep in this chair for the few hours I did.”

He laughed. “You’ve been asleep in this chair for a full day and two before that in your bed.”