All that I can say is that order in general, but most especially the order in which one was born, was considered very important in the place where I grew up. The oldest son
inherited his father’s house and lands. Younger daughter did not marry unless the oldest had first walked down the aisle. So if our household paid strict attention to which sister came first, second, and (at long last) third, the truth is that none of us thought anything about the arrangements at all.
Until the day Monsieur LeGrand came to call.
Monsieur LeGrand was my father’s oldest and closest friend, though Papa had
seen him only once and that was when he was five years old. In his own youth, Monsieur LeGrand had been the boyhood friend of Papa’s father, Grand-père Georges. It was
Monsieur LeGrand who had brought to Grand-mère Annabelle the sad news that her
young husband had been snatched off the deck of his ship by a wave that curled around him like a giant fist, then picked him up and carried him down to the bottom of the ocean.
In some other story, Monsieur LeGrand might have stuck around, consoled the
young widow in her grief, then married her after a suitable period of time. But that story is not this one. Instead, soon after reporting the sad news, Monsieur LeGrand returned to the sea, determined to put as much water as he could between himself and his boyhood home.
Eventually, Monsieur LeGrand became a merchant specializing in silk, and settled
in a land where silkworms flourished, a place so removed from where he’d started out that if you marked each city with a finger on a globe, you’d need both hands. Yet even from this great distance, Monsieur LeGrand did not forget his childhood friend’s young son.
When Papa was old enough, Grand-mère Annabelle took him by the hand and
marched him down to the waterfront offices of the LeGrand Shipping Company. For,
though he no longer lived in the place where he’d grown up, Monsieur LeGrand
maintained a presence in our seaport town. My father then began the process that took him from being the boy who swept the floors and filled the coal scuttles to the man who knew as much about the safe passage of sailors and cargo as anyone.
When that day arrived, Monsieur LeGrand made Papa his partner, and the sign
above the waterfront office door was changed to read LEGRAND, DELAURIER AND
COMPANY. But nothing Papa ever did, not marrying Maman nor helping to bring three lovely daughters into the world, could entice Monsieur LeGrand back to where he’d started.
Over the years, he had become something of a legend in our house. The tales my
sisters and I spun of his adventures were as good as any bedtime stories our nursemaids ever told. We pestered our father with endless questions to which he had no answers. All that he remembered was that Monsieur LeGrand had been straight and tall. This was not very satisfying, as I’m sure you can imagine, for any grown-up might have looked that way to a five-year-old.
Then one day – on my tenth birthday to be precise – a letter arrived. A letter that caused my father to return home from the office in the middle of the day, a thing he never does. I was the first to spot Papa, for I had been careful to position myself near the biggest of our living room windows, the better to watch for any presents that might arrive.
At first, the sight of Papa alarmed me. His face was flushed, as if he’d run all the way from the waterfront. He burst through the door, calling for my mother, then dashed into the living room and caught me up in his arms. He twirled me in so great a circle that my legs flew out straight and nearly knocked Maman’s favorite vase to the floor.
He’d had a letter, Papa explained when my feet were firmly on the ground. One
that was better than any birthday present he could have planned. It came from far away, from the land where all the silkworms flourished, and it informed us all that, at long last, Monsieur LeGrand was coming home.
Not surprisingly, this threw our household into an uproar. For it went without
saying that ours would be the first house Monsieur LeGrand would come to visit. It also went without saying that everything needed to be prefect for his arrival.
The work began as soon as my birthday celebrations were complete. Maman hired
a small army of extra servants, as those who usually cared for our house were not great enough in number. They swept the floors, then polished them until they gleamed like gems. Every single picture in the house was taken down from its place on the walls and inspected for even the most minute particle of dust. While all this was going on, the walls themselves were given a new coat of whitewash.
But the house wasn’t the only thing that got polished. The inhabitants got a new
shine as well. Maman was all for us being reoutfitted from head to foot, but here, Papa put his foot down. We must not be extravagant, he said. It would give the wrong
impression to Monsieur LeGrand. Instead, we must provide his mentor and our
benefactor with a warm welcome that also showed good sense, by which my father meant a sense of proportion.
So, in the end, it was only Papa and Maman who had new outfits from head to
foot. My sisters and I each received one new garment. Celeste, being the oldest, had a new dress. April had a new silk shawl. As for me, I was the proud owner of a new pair of shoes.
It was the shoes that started all the trouble, you could say. Or, to be more precise, the buckles.
They were made of silver, polished as bright as mirrors. They were gorgeous and
I loved them. Unfortunately, the buckles caused the shoes to pinch my feet, which in turn made taking anything more than a few steps absolute torture. Maman had tried to warn me in the shoe shop that this would be the case, but I had refused to listen and insisted the shoes be purchased anyhow.
“She should never have let you have your own way in the first place,” Celeste
pronounced on the morning we expected Monsieur LeGrand.
My sisters and I were in our bedroom, watching and listening for the carriage that would herald Monsieur LeGrand’s arrival. Celeste was standing beside her dressing table, unwilling to sit lest she wrinkle her new dress. April was kneeling on a cushion near the window, the silk shawl carefully spread out around her. I was the only one actually sitting down. Given the choice between the possibility of wrinkles or the guarantee of sore feet, I had decided to take my chances with the wrinkles.
But though I was seated, I was hardly sitting still. Instead, I turned my favorite birthday present and gift from Papa – a small knife for wood carving that was cunningly crafted so that the blade folded into the handle – over and over between my hands, as if the action might help to calm me.
Maman disapproved of my wood carving. She says it isn’t ladylike and is
dangerous. I have pointed out that I’m just as likely to stab myself with an embroidery needle as I am to cut myself with a wood knife. My mother remains unconvinced, but Papa is delighted that I inherited his talent for woodwork.
“And put that knife away,” Celeste went on. “Do you mean to frighten Monsieur
LeGrand?”
“Celeste,” April said, without taking her eyes from the street scene below. “Not
today. Stop it.”
Thinking back on it now, I see that Celeste was feeling just as nervous and excited as I was. But Celeste almost never handles things the way I do, or April either, for that matter. She always goes at things head-on. I think it’s because she’s always the first. It gives her a different view of the world, a different set of boundaries.
“Stop what?” Celeste asked now, opening her eyes innocently wide. “I’m just
saying Maman hates Belle’s knives, that’s all. If she shows up with one today, Maman will have an absolute fit.”
“I know better than to take my wood-carving knife into the parlor to meet a
guest,” I said, as I set it down beside me on my dressing table.
“Well, yes, you may
know
better, but you don’t always
think
, do you?” Celeste came right back. She swayed a little, making her new skirts whisper to the petticoats beneath as they moved from side to side. Celeste’s new dress was a pale blue, almost as exact match for her eyes. She’d wanted it every bit as much as I’d wanted my new shoes.
“For instance, if you’d thought about how your feet might
feel
instead of how they’d
look
, you’d have saved yourself a lot of pain, and us the trouble of listening to you whine.”
I opened my mouth to deny it, then changed my mind. Instead, I gave Celeste my
very best smile. One that showed as many of my even, white teeth as I could. I have very nice teeth. Even Maman says so.
I gave the bed a pat. “If you’re so unconcerned about the way
you
look,” I said sweetly, “why don’t you come over here and sit down?”
Celeste’s cheeks flushed. “Maybe I don’t want to,” she answered.
“And maybe you’re a phony,” I replied. “You care just as much about how you
look as I do, Celeste. It just doesn’t suit you to admit it, that’s all.”
“If you’re calling me a liar –,” Celeste began hotly.
“Be quiet!” April interrupted. “I think the carriage is arriving!”
Quick as lightning, Celeste darted to the window, her skirts billowing out behind her. I got to my feet, doing my best to ignore how much they hurt, and followed. Sure enough, in the street below, the grandest carriage I had ever seen was pulling up before our door.
“Oh, I can’t see his face!” Celeste cried in frustration, as we saw a gentleman
alight. A moment later, the peal of the front doorbell echoed throughout the house. April got to her feet, smoothing out her skirts as she did so. In the pit of my stomach, I felt a group of butterflies suddenly take flight.
I really
did
care about the way I looked, if for no other reason than how I looked and behaved would reflect back upon Papa and Maman. All of us wanted to make a good impression on Monsieur LeGrand.
“My dress isn’t too wrinkled, is it?” I asked anxiously, and felt the butterflies settle down a little when it was Celeste who answered.
“You look just fine.”
“The young ladies’ presence is requested in the parlor,” our housekeeper, Marie
Louise, announced from the bedroom door. Marie Louise’s back is always straight as a ruler, and her skirts are impeccably starched. She cast a critical eye over the three of us, the gave a satisfied nod.
“What does Monsieur LeGrand look like, Marie Louise?” I asked. “Did you see
him? Tell us!”
Marie Louise gave a sniff to show she disapproved of such questions, though her
eyes were not unkind.
“Of course I saw him” she answered, “for who was it who answered the door? But
I don’t have time to stand around gossiping any more than you have time to stand around and listen. Get along with you, now. Your parents and Monsieur LeGrand are waiting for you in the parlor.”
With a rustle of skirts, she left.
My sisters and I looked at one another for a moment, as if catching our collective breath.
“Come on,” Celeste said. And, just like that, she was off. April followed hard on her heels.
“Celeste,” I begged, my feet screaming in agony as I tried to keep up. “Don’t go
so fast. Slow down.”
But I was talking to the open air, for my sisters were already gone. By the time I made it to the bedroom door, they were at the top of the stairs. And by the time I made it to the top of the stairs, they were at the bottom. Celeste streaked across the entryway, then paused before the parlor door, just long enough to give her curls a brisk shake and clasp her hands in front of her as was proper. Then, without a backward glance, she marched straight into the parlor with April trailing along behind her.
Slowly, I descended the stairs, then came to a miserable stop in the downstairs
hall.
Should I go forward
, I wondered,
or should I stay right where I am?
No matter who got taken to take over our entry later – and someone most
certainly would be – there could be no denying that I was the one who was late. I’d probably already embarrassed my parents and insulted our honored guest.
Perhaps I
should simply slink away, back to my room
, I thought. I could claim I’d suddenly become ill between the top of the stairs and the bottom, that it was in everyone’s best interest that I hadn’t made an appearance, particularly Monsieur LeGrand’s.
And perhaps I could flap my arms and fly to the moon.
That’s when I heard the voices drifting out of the parlor.
There was Maman’s, high and piping like a flute. Papa’s with its quiet ebb and
flow that always reminds me of the sea. Celeste and April I could not hear as all, of course. They were children and would not speak unless spoken to first. And then I heard a voice like the great rumble of distant thunder say:
“But where is
la petite Belle
?”
And, just as real thunder will sometime inspire my feet to carry me from my own
room into my parents’. So too the sound of what could be no other than Monsieur
LeGrand’s voice carried me through the parlor door and into the room beyond. As if to make up for how slowly my feet had moved before, I overshot my usual place in line.
Instead of ending up at the end of the row, next to April, I came to a halt between my two sisters. April was to my left and Celeste was to my right. We were out of order for the first and only time in our lives.
I faltered, appalled. For I was more than simply out of place, I was also directly in front of Monsieur LeGrand.
CHAPTER THREE
He really
was
tall. So tall it almost made me dizzy to tilt my neck to look up at him.
Unlike the implications of his name, Monsieur LeGrand wasn’t relaxed and round.
Instead, he was all sharpness and angles – like one of the tools Papa keeps in his workshop for shaping wood. His skin was tanned, permanently stained by the