Beloved (39 page)

“I have, but . . . I thought you’d be mad at me for Nigel’s death. It was my fault.”

“Oh, Kira.” Once again, Kira found herself locked in his arms and this time his words brought tears to her eyes. “Death is not the end. We live this life knowing we will one day join our loved ones in Lor. It is a glorious journey, one we long to achieve and be worthy of.”

He released her again and took her face in his hands. He wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “Nigel will be missed, but stories of the sacrifice he made to be with the woman he loved will inspire others and live forever among our people. Knowing he is with her now brings us great joy.”

Thoughts of Octavion meeting the same fate added unintended weight to Blayde’s words. “I’m not sure I would feel the same if I lost Octavion.”

Blayde dropped his hands to his side with a deep sigh. “We will pray to our gods to keep him safe, then do all we can to rescue him. We must have faith that the journey you have chosen together is not finished.”

“Faith. I need to work on that.”

“Yes, you do.”

She wiped away the last of her tears and scanned the area around them. “Where is everyone?”

“Waiting for you.”

“Where?”

“I will show you in a moment.” He held out his hand. “Come with me first.”

Kira wove her fingers between his and gave a squeeze. The next moment they stood near a falls Kira had never been to before. It reminded her of the one back home with a tower of water splashing into a crystal blue pond. But instead of being surrounded by cliffs, a small clearing stretched out where a creek ran from the pond.

“Where are we?”

“Not far from Pride Meadow. You actually own this as well as part of the mountain where we can hunt. The women have chosen this spot to bathe. It is private and the water is not too cold.” He pointed to a spot near the waterfall. “Lessa and Brenna thought you might want to wash up before the ceremony. There is a place behind that rock where you can dress and slip into the water without being seen, though I doubt anyone would see you out here anyway.”

“Good idea. Thanks.” She expected him to leave, but he seemed to linger longer than necessary. “Is there something else?”

“Yes.” He reached for her necklace and gently tapped the stone with his finger. “I am curious. Did Octavion charm this so you could communicate with him through your thoughts?”

Kira fingered the stone, recalling all the times she’d tried in the last hour to reach Octavion. “Yeah, why?”

Will it work with me?

Kira smiled up at him.
I guess so
.

Blayde returned her smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. The death of Nigel had hit him hard. “I am glad. You will have more privacy if I do not have to wait here for you. Let me know when you are finished and I will take you to the spot we have chosen for . . . our brother.”

Brother
. She liked the sound of that. Nigel was indeed her brother and not just her self-imposed guardian. “Thanks for including me.”

“You are a part of us now—our leader.”

“Leader?”

“Yes. We dwell on your land and have sworn allegiance to your king. Since Octavion will someday be that king and you his queen, we pledge to follow you.”

Kira’s stomach lurched a bit. “That’s a lot of pressure. I’d rather you just continue to treat me the way you always have.”

A mischievous grin crossed his face, this time causing a tiny spark to light up his eyes. He bowed. “Yes, my lady.” Then he disappeared.

For several seconds Kira stood there staring at the mist Blayde had left behind, watching it swirl and twist before sweeping away on the breeze. She hadn’t thought about the responsibility that would be on her shoulders by inviting Lairdor to move to the meadow, but what Blayde said made sense. As much as the thought of being their leader made her gut wrench, she’d do her best, whether she ever became Queen or not.

Still fingering her stone, she closed her eyes and tried one more time to reach Octavion. The only response she heard was Luka’s words echoing in her head. Chains—hallowed chains. And Tyrius was a collector. Who better to steal gifts from than a hybrid who also happens to be a prince? One thing was sure—whatever she planned to do to get Octavion back had to be executed perfectly or they’d both be killed.

It took several tries to get the black root to release Kira’s natural hair color, but the result was well worth it. Seeing herself reflected in the pond was like seeing an old friend. It had been far too long since she allowed her true self to shine through and it was liberating.

After dressing in her mourning clothes, which included leaving her feet bare, she gathered her things, stuffed them in the leather pouch and called Blayde. Brenna appeared instead—a heavenly angel in her white gown and long white hair that cascaded off her shoulders and almost reached her knees. With her lavender eyes, she would have looked like a porcelain doll if it weren’t for her tear stained face.

“You look beautiful, Kira. Your hair looks like fire.”

“Thanks. You look beautiful, too.”

“Are you ready? I should warn you, Jaya’s gift is getting stronger and no matter how much we try to help her control it, she simply refuses to suppress it. I think she wants to make sure everyone else feels as much pain as she does. Not that we need her help.”

“I’m so sorry. Will they ever forgive me?”

“For what? He loved you. It was his choice to protect you. It certainly was not your fault he put himself between you and that bolt.” She put a hand on Kira’s shoulder. “No one blames you. As much as we will miss him, we also know he died doing something that made him happy. He would not have wanted it any other way and neither would we.”

Brenna’s hand slid down Kira’s arm and grasped her hand. “Brace yourself. The sudden impact of Jaya’s emotions will hit you like a dagger to the heart.”

As much as Brenna’s warning should have prepared her, nothing Kira did could have softened the gut wrenching sorrow she felt when they appeared near Nigel’s grave. It was all she could do not to fall to her knees in tears.

They chose to bury him on the other side of the river not far from where she crossed the fallen log and played with Mahli when she was just a cub. A pristine location dotted with flowers year round. Nigel’s lifeless body lay on a makeshift altar near the gaping hole someone had dug in the ground. His long black hair looked like silk threads against his muscular chest—his white trousers a stark contrast to his bronze skin. A white cloth draped over the altar and puddled on the ground around it. Nigel’s whip, sketch book and flute lay at his side.

Except for a few sniffs and uncontrollable whimpers, it was peacefully quiet. A certain serenity engulfed the area as if it were protected by an invisible dome. There were no strangers here, only the small community of Lairdor mourning their brother and leader—all dressed alike with no adornment or decoration. Even the women’s hair was worn down without braids or combs to tie it back. The men’s hair was slicked back from their faces, and if any of them carried weapons, they were hidden.

Brenna stood closest to Nigel and seemed to have taken charge of the ritual. She motioned for Kira to come closer. “We have all said our goodbyes. Is there anything you would like to say?”

Suddenly aware that all eyes were on her, she moved closer to Brenna.
Is it okay to touch him?

Yes.

Kira reached out and gently caressed Nigel’s cold hand. She choked back the tears and swallowed the lump in her throat. “We all know what a good man Nigel was, but few of you know how many times he saved my life. Even when it meant fighting his own brother, he chose to save me and help Octavion bring us to this world. Yesterday I was . . .” Kira shook her head sharply and swallowed back the rising tears. “Before he took his last breath, Nigel spoke to me.”

Several gasped, but only Jaya said anything. “He used his voice? I have never heard his voice, was it as wonderful as people say?”

Kira turned to face Jaya who had left Lessa’s embrace to join her near Nigel. “It was glorious. When he said my name, peace and reassurance filled my heart. I was so upset that he’d been hurt and I couldn’t heal him, but his simple words comforted me and helped me let him go.”

She wrapped one arm around Jaya and turned back to Nigel, running her fingers over a section of his hair. “His last words were of his family. He was happy that his loved ones would be waiting for him in Lor and wanted . . .” She paused for a moment, not wanting to give up too much information about Thea. “He wanted those left here to be safe. I promised to help do that and I intend to keep that promise.”

She bent down and kissed Nigel on the cheek. “I will miss you, my friend. I hope you find joy wherever you are.”

“Do you really think he is happy?” Jaya asked.

Kira wiped the moisture from the little girls rosy cheeks. “I know he is. And he wouldn’t want us to be sad for him. He’d want us to celebrate his life and continue doing what makes us happy.”

Jaya glanced at Nigel and then back to Kira. “I will miss him, but I will try to be happy for him.”

Kira wrapped her arms around Jaya and gave her a squeeze. “That’s my girl.”

When they finally released each other, Jaya went back to stand in front of Lessa and Kira moved to Nigel’s feet to give Brenna more room. She took Nigel’s possessions and handed them to Kira. “These are yours now. He would have wanted you to have them. You may keep them or give them away. It is up to you.”

“Thanks.”

Blayde and three other men wrapped the cloth around Nigel’s body, then lowered him with ropes into the grave. Brenna stood at the head of the grave and sang the most beautiful song about birds finding their home in the clouds while the men filled in the hole with dirt. When they were finished, each person left their handprint in the mound of fresh soil and wiped it across the front of their tunics or gowns. Kira wasn’t sure why, but it seemed a solemn part of the ritual so she followed along.

One by one, everyone wandered away from the gravesite until Kira was alone. She didn’t know why she felt the need to linger longer than the rest—maybe because she knew of the daunting task set before her and the real possibility that she might be joining Nigel in his version of heaven.

She looked around to be sure she was alone, then spoke softly. “If you can hear me and have any influence up there, please ask your gods to bless me, that I might be able to get Octavion back. I don’t think I can stay here without him. I’m not as strong as you are.”

She paused for a moment before taking her necklace in her hand. She closed her eyes and caressed it.
Octavion. I’m coming to get you, so hold on and don’t die on me.

She waited for a response, but there was none. Just as well. He’d be furious if he knew what she was about to do and she didn’t need him in her head trying to talk her out of it.

Kira unfolded the map and spread it out on the ground. She flattened out the creases and pointed to the place where Luka had been attacked.

“This is where Nestor found Luka. It’s also where Octavion was captured.” She pointed to an area near there where a crude sketch of cliffs had been drawn. “This is Fire Canyon and I’ll have to go through there to get to Kazedon. That’s about all I know, except Luka said they put Octavion in Hollowed Chains. Do you know what those are?”