Beloved Forever (23 page)

Chapter Twelve

Nicholas stiffened as he pushed her away. “What are you doing?”

She stared at him with wide eyes. “I just wanted to touch you,” she whispered, finding it difficult to maintain eye contact in the face of his rejection.

“Why?” His eyes searched her face, and he was clearly puzzled. “Most of the time, you don’t want me near you. What’s different?”

She shrugged. “Never mind, okay?” Emily walked past him, averting her eyes. Didn’t he realize how difficult it had been for her to reach out to him? Why did he have to make it so hard for her?

He sighed and touched her arm. “Don’t go.”

She kept her head turned away. “I’m sorry about last night. I’ve already apologized. I told you why I did it. If you can’t forgive me for something so harmless, there’s nothing else I can do.”

Nicholas stepped closer to her, nudging her chin around to meet his gaze. “It didn’t feel harmless. You hurt me.”

She looked up at him, her eyes shining with unshed tears. Unconsciously, she touched her cheek. “You hurt me too.”

He nodded. “I know.” Nicholas ran a hand through his hair, mussing the tight ponytail. “I can’t seem to control my anger around you. I think it would be better to let you go.” His eyes were flat, and his voice was full of pain.

Her heart stuttered, and she shook her head. Something had changed after the dream, and she didn’t want him to send her away. She touched his arm, as tears broke free. “Please don’t.”

“You would be safer.” He shook his head. “With Koss here, you shouldn’t be near me. I’ll arrange—”

“No!” Emily threw herself against him. “I won’t leave. You can’t send me away. Not now, when…”

He frowned as his arms settled around her, seemingly automatically. “Why? I thought you’d be pleased when I decided to do this earlier. You can stay at Vallsade Manor for a time, until it’s safe for you to go home.”

She pressed her face against his chest, ignoring his stiff resistance. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“You’ll be safe from him…and me.” His voice was gruff. “You bring out the best and worst in me, Emily. I never should have changed you. You’re much too young, and things have changed since the last time we were together. It’s time to let this unnatural love die.”

“Erin,” she whispered. He stiffened even more, and she lifted her head. His features had formed into a scowl, but his eyes were moist. “She made you promise.” She knew she was exposing her weaknesses to him, but it didn’t matter. The only important thing was to dissuade his streak of nobility. She would never figure out what her destiny was with Nicholas if he sent her away. She touched his cheek. “
I
made you promise.”

A harsh sound ripped from Nicholas, and it sounded like a sob. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to step away from her.

She followed his movements. “She knew—”

“That was too long ago…”

She moved her hand from his cheek to his lips. “I don’t want to leave now that things are starting to make sense. You have no right to make these choices for me.”

He nodded, dislodging her finger, and his eyes opened. “Exactly. I had no right to do this. You should go while I have the strength to let you.” He bowed his head, and his voice was shaky when he said, “I don’t know how long I can do this. Leave. Now. Tremont will drive you anywhere—”

She cupped his face with her hands and urged him to lift his head. Their eyes met, and the air crackled with electricity. She stared into dark pools of pain and confusion, and all she wanted to do was ease his suffering. Emily tilted her chin and pressed her lips to his once more—softly, hesitantly, waiting for him to push her away.

He groaned as his fingers tangled in her hair, and his mouth pressed against hers. His tense muscles relaxed.

Emily let go of his face and wrapped her arms around his shoulders to pull his body closer to hers. She slipped her tongue through his lips, sensing she was in control, and he would wait for her to set the pace. She stroked his tongue lightly, unsure of herself, even though there was a sense of familiarity about each action, as if she had touched him this way many times before.

She flicked her tongue against the tip of his and almost giggled when his body jerked. Her surge of feminine power weakened when Nicholas’s hands framed her waist and pulled her more tightly against his lower body, bringing her in intimate contact with his hard cock. He wanted her. Her pussy quavered at the knowledge.

She might have been more afraid if she hadn’t witnessed his vulnerability. Emily ran her tongue across his fangs as she nudged him toward the couch. She thought briefly of Tremont seeing them, but didn’t care. When Nicholas reversed their stance and pressed her back against the sofa, she stared up at him and licked her lips.

He stood above her, bent forward at the waist so they were still touching. His dark eyes burned with liquid heat, and his cock pressed against her thigh. His hands moved to the buttons on her shirt.

She smiled at him as his fingers fumbled with the tiny buttons of the white shirt she had changed into at one of the stores. She grinned, imagining his frustration when he found the same buttons at the hip of the matching pants. She could see his frustration growing and put her hands over his to stop him. “I’ll do it.” Emily’s eyes widened at the husky note of passion in her voice. She couldn’t recall ever feeling like this.

She had burned for Nicholas before, but always with an urgency born from feeding. She didn’t feel the same pressing need for release this time. Her movements were unhurried, and she saw tenderness in his eyes as she unfastened the tiny buttons one at a time. They had connected on more than a physical level now, and the timing was right. She slipped off the shirt and dropped it over the couch to land on the cushions.

Nicholas brushed his fingers against the lacy cup of her white bra, and his breath hissed through his teeth. He seemed to be moving with deliberate slowness too, as he slipped the bra strap down her shoulder. His lips followed the path, and he pressed kisses against her flesh, without a hint of his teeth grazing her skin.

Emily put her arms around him, pulling him closer. His fangs scraped against her shoulder, and she winced at the dart of pain. He immediately pulled back to look into her eyes, and she summoned a smile, trying to hide her nervousness.

He tangled his hand in her hair. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

She ignored the quivering in her stomach and nodded twice, rapidly. “Yes.”

He stood up and lifted her into his arms. “There’s a more appropriate place.”

Emily put her arm around his shoulder, but didn’t hold tightly. He wouldn’t drop her. She cuddled closer to him, breathing in the scent of him. Underlying his expensive cologne and soap, she caught a faint whiff of blood. It reminded her she hadn’t fed, and her stomach growled. However, the hunger wasn’t urgent enough to supplant her desire for Nicholas.

He strode down the hallway and kicked open his bedroom door, placing her on her feet before closing the door behind them. Emily took the opportunity to examine his room and found it much the same as hers. His bed was larger, with four posts and a privacy screen. His furniture was more masculine and built larger, but it was as black as the carpet. Touches of red and silver contrasted with the black. The only deviation from the bland décor was the zebra-printed comforter on the bed, in alternating stripes of silver and black.

When he returned to her, he swept her into his arms. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this.” His voice had become a rough growl, but there was a hint of tenderness underneath.

“I think I do.” Her stomach lurched again when her gaze skittered to the bed and settled on the comforter. She had an image of the two of them writhing on the bed, and she shivered. The thought excited and alarmed her simultaneously.

As his lips brushed against hers, the phone rang. Emily started to pull away, but he tightened his hold.

“Ignore it.” He buried his face in her neck as the phone rang again. “It’s not important.”

She closed her eyes and tilted her head, waiting for his teeth to sink through the skin of her neck. Instead, he licked her. She frowned, and then remembered the blood in her veins was now tainted.

The phone rang again, and she stiffened. “Nicholas…”

He sighed impatiently and lifted his head. “Tremont will handle it.” As he spoke, the phone trilled again, but cut off in mid-ring. His lips slashed into a smile that revealed a hint of his teeth. “There. All’s quiet. We won’t be disturbed again.”

She nodded and laid her head on his chest, unable to prevent a whimper when his hands moved to the clasp of her bra. When he stopped moving, she lifted her head. “What?”

He sighed. “I don’t think we should do this.”

She swallowed down an instinctive dart of relief. Emily shook her head. “I want to. I want you. I’m just…” She hesitated and licked her lips. “I’m kind of nervous. I’ve never…” She looked down, trying to suppress the tinge of pink blossoming on her cheeks.

“I know. That’s why we should wait.” He stepped away from her. “You’re still confused. In a few days—”

“No. I don’t want to wait.” She took a step forward so they were touching again. “I’m ready now.”

“Emily—” A knock interrupted whatever he might have said. He strode to the door wearing a frown.

Emily darted behind the bed and drew the privacy curtain across her upper body to hide her bra. Tremont didn’t come in, but his voice carried to her. She didn’t catch the words, but caught his sense of urgency. When Nicholas closed the door, she sensed their interlude was over for now, but not for long. She was determined to make him understand she was ready, despite her fear. He hadn’t let her fears in other lives dissuade him.

She stepped away from the curtain and walked over to him. He was straightening his appearance in the mirror on the wall when she brushed a hand down his arm. “What’s wrong?”

“My warehouse is on fire.” He spoke in clipped tones. “I need to get down there. My insurance agent is meeting me there, and I know the police will want a statement.” His movements were stiff and jerky, and his eyes sparkled with rage.

“What caused the fire?” she asked softly.

He shrugged as he walked to the door. “The man Tremont spoke with didn’t say, but I don’t doubt it was Koss.”

She gasped. “Why would he? Please tell me what’s happening, Nicholas.”

He hesitated at the door, with his hand on the knob. Nicholas sighed. “I don’t have time right now, but I’ll tell you everything when I get back. I promise.”

She nodded, knowing she couldn’t delay him, no matter how badly she needed an explanation. “Be careful.”

He opened the door. “You’ll be safe until I return. I’ll shield the apartment, which should fool just about anyone.” He hesitated once more, as his eyes moved over her, drinking her in. “Stay in the apartment, okay?”

She nodded. His demeanor brooked no argument, and his fear transmitted itself to her.

He cursed softly as he stepped back through the bedroom and strode to her, pulling her into his arms to press a kiss to her mouth. When he lifted his head, his eyes caught hers. “I don’t want to leave you, but it isn’t safe to take you with me.”

“I know.” She forced her arms to let go of him and made her legs take a step back. “I’ll be waiting.” He nodded once more and left, this time without hesitating.

She watched him go, biting on her tongue to beg him not to leave. She didn’t understand why Koss tormented Nicholas, but she was terrified the other man would hurt him tonight. The sooner he was back, the sooner she could relax. The time would drag until his return, and she knew her thoughts would insist on imagining various tortures Koss might inflict upon him.

* * * * *

After slipping on a light blue shirt from Nicholas’s closet and rolling up the sleeves, Emily walked down the hall to return to the living room. She found Tremont in the kitchen and let out a startled gasp. She clutched her chest, trying to slow her racing heart.

He frowned. “What’s wrong?”

She shook her head, panting to catch her breath. “I thought you’d gone with Nicholas. I was startled.”

Tremont gave a lopsided shrug. “I don’t always accompany the master. There can be…awkward questions. He asked me to stay with you tonight.”

She smiled when she noticed he was making hot cocoa from scratch. “My mother used to make cocoa when I was sick, but that was years ago.”

“If you would like to sit in the living room, I’ll bring it through directly.”

She turned and walked into the living room, curling up on the burgundy sofa. A blush swept through her cheeks when she saw her blouse neatly folded on the coffee table. Tremont obviously knew what they had been doing. Her lips twisted into a tiny smile as she glanced down at Nicholas’s too-large shirt covering her. If Tremont hadn’t figured it out by seeing her in Nicholas’s room, her wearing his shirt was another clue. She leaned back and tried to pretend it didn’t embarrass her. Tremont didn’t seem bothered by the knowledge, and Nicholas certainly wasn’t. She simply had to be more adult about the situation.

Emily was surprised at her ease of fighting back a flush when Tremont carried in the tray of cocoa and gingersnaps. She blinked back tears as a memory of sitting in bed and drinking cocoa with her mother flashed through her mind. She cleared her throat, reminding herself those times were over. “Thank you.”

He inclined his head. “It is my pleasure, Miss Emily.”

She sighed at his insistence of using “Miss” in front of her name, but knew he wouldn’t change his mind. After using her given name just once, he had taken to addressing her as Miss Emily. At least it wasn’t Mistress.

“If there’s nothing else, I’ll retire to my room.”

“If I need anything, I can get it.”

He looked scandalized. “It is my job to see to your needs.”

She chose not to answer. Instead, she lifted the mug of cocoa and sipped it through the layer of whipped cream. “Delicious. Thank you.”

He nodded and left her without another word.

When he was gone, Emily sat on the sofa, wondering what she would do with herself. A few weeks ago, she might have watched a TV program, but didn’t think any would keep her attention now. Still, it was background noise to blot out her thoughts. She didn’t want to dwell on what Nicholas was doing right then, nor think about how things had changed between them tonight. However tacitly, she had accepted her new future. Even though they hadn’t made love, there was no going back now.

She still didn’t know how she felt about that. Being close to Nicholas was intoxicating, exciting and dangerous. Her old life had been safe and predictable. She had known exactly where it would lead her, at least through college. She wasn’t ready to embrace the new enthusiastically, and couldn’t quite turn her back on the old. She was in limbo, trapped between her choices.

Emily sighed deeply. Her weighty thoughts made no difference. No matter what course of action she decided on—if she could manage to choose one—she knew she would react to Nicholas, not act. She didn’t seem capable of rational thought around him. Was that because her actions had already been predetermined by fate, or simply because she reacted so strongly to him as a man?

She sighed again as she reached for the remote. She was determined to clear her mind and tried to concentrate on a drama she vaguely recognized.

She must have had limited success in focusing her attention on the attorneys’ plight, because the doorbell ringing caught her by surprise. She sloshed the remains of her cocoa down the side of the cup and stained the hem of Nicholas’s shirt. With a muttered curse under her breath, she stood up and put the cup on the tray before lifting and carrying the serving dish from the living room.

The doorbell rang again as she entered the kitchen. She put the tray on the counter and turned to the front door. As Tremont appeared in the hallway and walked to the door, Emily froze. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up, and her stomach churned with nausea. As he reached the door, she said, “No, don’t open it.”

Tremont looked back at her with an expression of surprise. “But Miss Emily—”

She shook her head, struggling to remember something Nicholas had said. Her eyes widened. “Nicholas shielded the apartment before he left. How is someone at the door?”

Tremont’s hand fell from the door, and he rushed toward her as fast as his squat legs would carry him. “Run to the fire escape, out the kitchen window.” He fumbled in his pocket and withdrew a cell phone. “I’ll call the master—”

Before Tremont finished the sentence, the door started shuddering. The wood groaned, and the door rattled in the frame. With a screech of protest, it tore free from its hinges and slammed against the wall of the entryway.

Emily’s feet froze to the spot as Tremont placed himself in front of her. He was trembling badly, and the phone fell from his hand to the floor. She wanted to push him aside, but couldn’t seem to move.

Seconds after the door opened so forcibly, four people stepped through the doorway. There were two men and one woman standing in front of another. He was taller than the others, but by a trick of the light, or his own powers, shadows obscured his face.

The two men in front of him were a study in contrast, except for their nearly identical jeans and dark coats. One had blond hair, with icy gray eyes. He looked to be in his late forties, on the chubby side. The younger man was dark—Hispanic or Mediterranean—with black hair, olive skin and smoldering dark eyes. He was short and slight, but held himself in way that suggested he was more than capable of handling any situation.

The woman’s hair was as dark as the short man’s, but her features were completely different. Her skin had a golden tinge to it, and she had oddly shaped amber eyes. Only a tiny sliver of sclera showed on either side of her large irises. She wore a flowing red dress topped with a black bolero jacket. She looked like she was all dressed up with no place to go, and her planned outing had been more than a hundred years ago.

Emily’s paralysis broke as the man hidden behind them moved to the front of the group. The others stepped aside for him with the same gracefulness inherent in Nicholas’s movements. She guessed they were all vampires, and all older than she. With a muted cry, she turned to run, desperate to avoid meeting Koss face-to-face. She had no doubt it was he approaching her.

“Halt a moment, Emily.” He spoke with a rich baritone, and it held a trace of an accent she didn’t recognize.

As he spoke, her limbs turned to stone. She couldn’t move, no matter how she struggled to lift her feet. She couldn’t even wiggle her fingers. The only part of her still responding to her brain’s commands was her eyes. They darted around the room, searching for escape.

When Koss walked toward her, the light in the hallway revealed him more clearly. He was shorter than Nicholas, but muscular, giving him a solid presence. He had bronze skin, dark eyes and black hair, shaved close to his skull. His nose was a large beak, and his lips were thin. She searched for the perfect way to describe him, but the only word that came to mind was foreign. There was something alien about him.

As he stopped a few feet from her, she gasped and was surprised when her body cooperated to make the sound. Even her tongue seemed frozen. The cause of her shocked gasp was the scar on his face. It was cross-shaped, but decorative like an ankh. The scar was ragged, with knots of white flesh on faded pink skin. It was obviously old, but it hadn’t disappeared. He must have been marked before his transformation to a vampire.

Tremont threw himself in front of Koss. His desperation was clear in the set of his shoulders.

Koss didn’t even pause. He waved his hand, and the diminutive man went flying against the wall. He hit with a loud cracking sound, followed by a cry of pain. Within seconds, the three who had lingered near the door rushed to him, ripping at him.

Emily watched with horror, unable to move, as they tore at Tremont’s clothes and skin. She couldn’t clearly see what they did to him from her angle, but could guess from the sounds he made. He continued to scream with agony as he tried to defend himself. It didn’t take long for them to subdue him and for the screams to fade to silence.

“No one heard him cry out,” Koss said with mock sympathy. “Nicholas did an excellent job of shielding this residence. It was difficult for
me
to find. His power has increased. He is to be commended.”

She glared at him, still unable to speak or move. As distressing as was the sound of the three feeding on Tremont’s remains, this man’s gaze was infinitely more disturbing. She tore her eyes from his, pointedly averting them from the eager sounds issuing from the pack of animals consuming their meal.

“Do they sicken you, Emily?” A cold smile flashed across his face. “Surely, you felt no fondness for Tremont after what he did to you?”

She refused to look at him.

He crooked his finger. “Look at me.”

Her frozen muscles loosened, and her neck turned so she was facing him. Emily squeezed her eyes shut, praying for the strength to avoid his gaze.

He chuckled. “You’re strong for a young one.” Koss’s voice dropped to a whisper. “But not strong enough to resist my commands. I could make you scream as loudly as Tremont.”

“I wouldn’t give you the satisfaction,” she bit out, shocked to be able to speak.

He laughed again. “There are more efficient ways, dear, and I want you fresh for the night’s activities.”

She held her breath when he walked up to her, stopping less than an inch from touching her. She swayed as a roaring filled her ears, and her eyes popped open of their own volition when he touched her cheek. She whimpered as she found her gaze locking with his.

“Do you recognize me yet? We’ve met before.” He caressed her cheek. “Remember, dear? Do you have that sense of
déjà vu
yet, like we’ve done this all before?”

His soothing tone was seductive, and his eyes were like whirlpools, sucking her in. Emily felt her consciousness flowing from her into him, but couldn’t break eye contact. She tried to resist as her body relaxed, but was unable to stand upright. As she crashed into his arms, blackness overwhelmed her, and a dream violently overwhelmed her.

1831, England (Vallsade Manor)

Erin blinked back tears and tried to give her husband a brave smile. “It is only three nights, Nicholas.”

He caressed her cheek, pushing back her blonde hair. “I hate to leave you for three minutes, beloved.” His other hand cupped her distended stomach. “With the birth so close…”

She shook her head. “More than a month, love. You will return in plenty of time.”

Nicholas sighed. “I do not want to leave you. What difference will my vote make?”

She felt a flutter of panic and struggled to suppress it. She knew Nicholas must leave. “As long as the Tories are so vehemently opposed to the Reform Act, even one Whig vote might make all the difference. Your party needs your voice. The people need you.”

He sighed again. “I know you are right, but I have not spent one night away from you in eighteen years.”

She smoothed the full skirt of her loose dress and managed to avoid his eyes. “I will be here when you return.” She nearly broke down sobbing, but somehow found the strength to continue her pretense. She must protect Nicholas. With a tilted chin, she met his gaze. “All will be well.”

Nicholas nodded briskly and took the reins Tremont extended for him. Unmindful of the staff milling about the courtyard of the manor, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply. When he reluctantly pulled away, he said, “I shall think of you every moment.”

She nodded, unable to respond for the lump of moisture in her throat. She touched his cheek. “Travel carefully, my love,” she managed to choke out hoarsely.

He mounted the chestnut stallion as Tremont scrambled into the saddle of a tame gray gelding. Nicholas lifted his arm in a wave before turning the horse toward the lowered drawbridge.

Erin drank in the sight of her handsome husband astride his horse as he galloped out of her sight. When he had reached the end of the path, where it turned a bend, and he was no longer visible, she squeezed shut her eyes. She wanted to savor her last glimpse of him. It would feel like an eternity before they were reunited.

As she had dreamed countless times, a disturbance woke her early in the morning. Erin was surprised to have slept at all, with knowing what was coming. She grasped the ornate brass handle of the dagger tucked under her pillow and slid out of the bed that was too large without Nicholas’s presence.

She briefly wondered if she should have told him what would happen tonight, but quickly shook her head, knowing if he had stayed, he would have died too. When Koss came for her, he wouldn’t let anything stand in his way. His obsession with Nicholas was bound to spill over to her at some point. She was an easy way to hurt her husband.

Would it have made a difference if she accompanied him to the townhouse in London? Would that have stopped Koss from carrying out his plan? Would Nicholas have been able to protect her if he came for her anyway, or would he have died with her and took any chance of them being reunited with him?