Bend (11 page)

“You have a big ol’ hickey on your neck.”

Josh scowled and slapped one hand over the purple mark while raising the other to point at Annabelle. “
You
don’t get to hear about that, at least not right now.
You
didn’t return BEND

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my calls and only sent shitty little texts saying ‘Sorry I missed ur call will call laterz’ or ‘Good here everything okay there?’
You
weren’t willing to talk to me when I needed to talk to you, so
you
are gonna do the talking now.”

Annabelle knew her eyes were the size of dinner plates and likely to pop right out of her head. And as shitty as she felt for pushing Josh away, she was also weirdly turned on by this display of…of
power
from a man she only now realised she’d secretly thought of as a pushover.

“Shut your mouth before you catch flies,” Josh said, and the barest hint of a smile gave Annabelle hope that she hadn’t fucked things up too badly between them. “I will even help you get started with whatever is eating at you. So, you fucked my brother and…and Evan last weekend.”

Lifting the sweating bottle to her lips, Annabelle nodded, unable to look at Josh. She wasn’t ashamed of the sex, but what came after still made her skin burn with embarrassment.

Chugging the rest of the beer in a few short gulps didn’t really help, getting drunk didn’t help. She had a week full of hangovers to prove that. Pushing up from her chair, Annabelle tipped her bottle at Josh. “You want one?”

“No, I had more than enough last—” Josh stopped and cleared his throat, his gaze darting everywhere but at her. “Water would be great though.”

Annabelle frowned, her eyes drawn back to that hickey. “What—”

“Nope. Not about me.” Josh walked to the cabinets and pulled down two glasses. “And I doubt you need another beer. You’ve got bags under your eyes that I could pack for a six-month vacation”

“Thanks,” Annabelle groused as she sat back in her chair. “Maybe it’s a good thing your brother hasn’t come hunting me down.” She’d probably scare the beejeezus out of him.

Josh paused with his back to her as he stood by the sink. “Any why would you think Justin might hunt you down?”

It was easier with him not looking at her, or maybe a week’s worth of regret made talking about it possible. Either way, Annabelle’s eyes welled with tears as she stared at the battered table top. “Because after…after we’d all had sex, I freaked out a little and left. Fast.”

Josh grunted and filled the glasses with tap water. “Did they do or say something to make you feel like you were in danger? Scare you? Or was it just having realised that there might be more to the three of you than fucking?”

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“The last one,” Annabelle whispered. “And I don’t think…I’ve never done the whole relationship thing, and it was like being kicked in the gut by a horse. I swear something broke loose in me and I knew they wanted more than sex.
I
wanted more than sex. Somehow they managed to get under my skin, in here,” she thumped her chest. “I’ve always been so careful, but they slipped right in and I ran. And now they probably hate me and I can’t blame them.”

Josh placed a glass in front of her then sat beside her. He took her hand in one of his and tipped her chin up with the other. “Why don’t you do ‘the whole relationship thing’?”

Annabelle managed to look at him even as her heart thudded in her chest. Her fight or flight was kicking in again, and she tensed her muscles against the need to get up and flee.

That was what had led to this whole miserable week in the first place. And the answer was an easy one she’d been aware of ever since she could remember.

“Same reason as most people who avoid them, I reckon. Parent issues, watching my parent’s marriage implode under my father’s need to control every single thing my mother did or thought. Seeing the bruises on her face and arms when she didn’t cave to him.

Watching her pack and leave us there with that bastard!”

“She left you and Rory there? What kind of—” Josh squeezed her hand. “Did y’all ever hear from her after that?”

“No, she just…left. I looked for her, when I got to go away to college.” Annabelle sat back, tugging her hand away from Josh’s. “Couldn’t find a trace of her, but she knew where we were.”

“Annabelle?” Josh waited until she wiped her eyes, smudging tears she hadn’t realised where spilling over. “Lots of people leave, whether it’s by choice or not. My parents died when I was a kid. Justin wasn’t much more than a kid himself. He could have sent me off to live with some relatives, or let me go into foster care, but he didn’t. Justin gave up a chance for an education, a chance to be a kid, really, him and Evan both. They raised me and made sure I had a good home and got an education. Some people leave, but some people stay, too.”

“I know that in my head, I do, but I think about how controlling my father was, how everything had to be his way—”

“And that doesn’t sound a little bit familiar?” Josh asked, and Annabelle was so shocked by the revelation she couldn’t do more than stare at him. “I’m not saying you’re as BEND

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bad as your father, you aren’t a cruel person, but you do try to keep everything in your life just so. Anything that shakes that up sends you running.”

“Fuck.” Why hadn’t she ever seen that? Had she chosen to emulate her father’s stringent control rather than risk being a victim like her mother? It was simplified and something a child might see as the only two options available, and Annabelle had a sinking feeling that’s exactly what she’d done.

“Your father’s alone now, isn’t he? Completely?”

“Yeah, he is,” Annabelle admitted. “I get it, okay? If I keep being a controlling, uptight bitch I’m gonna end up alone and miserable.”

Josh snorted. “I wouldn’t put it like that, exactly, but yeah, pretty much.”

“I don’t know any other way to be, Joshie. I always thought I was being strong. I never realised…” And maybe she never would have if Josh hadn’t cared enough to shove her into seeing it. “So what do I do?”

“Well,” Josh scratched his chin and sighed. “I don’t know the answer to that for sure, but I think part of it is like being addicted to something. Admitting you have a problem is the first step. After that, probably you need to start figuring out what you really want and if you’re willing to bend to get it.”

And that was the question she really needed to answer.. Was she strong enough to bend, or would she end up hurting all three of them if she couldn’t let go of her need to keep her heart safe?

“I don’t know what to do. I want…”
to be happy, to see Evan’s eyes light up, see Justin burn
as he lost himself in her.
“But a relationship with two people is hard enough. How can one with three work?”

“I don’t know,” Josh said as he shrugged. “I think if all of you want it bad enough, then you work together to build a strong relationship whether there’s two people or a dozen.”

“I don’t even want to try to picture that,” Annabelle muttered. “The dozen, I mean.”

Josh laughed and the sound of it threatened to make Annabelle cry all over again. She’d almost lost him because she’d been too busy running from herself. She stood and went to her friend, hugging him so hard he grunted. “I really am so sorry I was an ass. You’re an angel for putting up with me.”

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“You just want to know who gave me the hickey,” Josh teased, but he hugged her back and pressed his forehead to hers. “Maybe I’ll tell you the next time we go out. If you’re very, very good.”

“You tease! You’re not even going to give me a clue, are you?”

Josh rocked his forehead against hers. “Nope. Not a single one. Besides, it’s not as exciting as you’d think.”

Like
that
statement wasn’t going to drive her crazy with curiosity, but she’d wait. Josh didn’t need a pushy woman prodding at him, he needed a friend—and so did she. “All right then, guess I have some thinking to do.”

“Just don’t go from thinking to brooding to sulking to—”

“I won’t, I swear!” Annabelle patted Josh’s back then moved back to her chair. “I’m turning over a new leaf and all that crap. And maybe you could help me, if you don’t mind?”

Did she want Justin and Evan enough to risk opening herself up to the possibility of being hurt? And would they even give her another chance if she did?

“Of course, Annabelle, that’s what friends are for.”

“Please don’t break into that song, I’m already teary eyed and that isn’t going to help with the huge—thank you so much for pointing that out, Joshie—bags under my eyes.”

Annabelle poked at the swollen skin under her eyes and cringed. She definitely did not want to look in a mirror any time soon.

Josh shifted in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest and wiggling his hips. “So, what do you need me to do?”

“Just be patient with me, okay? And maybe tell me when I’m being a narrow-minded bitch. Remind me that I’m not always right, and that I want to…I want to stop being so afraid.”

“I can so do that, but you have to take my calls or at least return them, Annabelle.”

Cheeks stinging at the soft rebuke, Annabelle nodded. “I promise, I will.”

Josh studied her for a long moment before giving her that sexy smile that she knew was going to rock another man’s world someday. “And as an added bonus for repenting of your bad-friend ways, I’ll reward you. Get comfortable while I tell you a little more about my brother. And Evan.” He added the last two words almost like an afterthought.

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Warmth suffused Annabelle and it startled her to realise it was happiness that was making her feel that way. Smiling her own killer smile, Annabelle propped her elbows on the table and her chin in her hands. “You’re the best, Joshie.”

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Justin’s least favourite chore was working on the books for the ranch. On days like today, he’d give his left nut to be able to afford an accountant. He scowled as the computer beeped at him, the numbers he’d just put in blinking. Squinting, he saw he’d hit the ‘o’

instead of ‘0’.

“Well, no fucking wonder it wouldn’t take it.” Backspacing to the offending letter, Justin promptly deleted it then re-entered it. “Damn it all!”

“Must be accounting day.”

Justin looked up at his brother leaning against the doorframe. Josh was smirking and—

Justin scowled again. “How big was that guy’s mouth? Looks like he sucked on half your neck!”

Josh rolled his eyes as he waved away the question. “Adult here, remember?”

Justin pointed to the big hickey. “Yeah? Well that looks like something a horny teenager would be running around with.”

“Like you’ve never sucked up a mark on Evan. Please.”

“That’s different. Me and Ev have been together for almost ten years,” Justin was quick to point out. “And even so, I never put anything the size of a damn dessert plate on him.” At least not where it showed.

Josh stepped into the room and sank down into the chair in front of Justin’s desk. “So you want to talk about this hickey or do you want to hear what I have to say about Annabelle.”

Justin’s stomach dipped and quivered. In the week and a half since Annabelle had ran off in a panic, he’d started to call her several times. He and Evan had discussed how long they should wait before contacting Annabelle if they didn’t hear from her first—or whether they should even bother. He considered calling Evan and having him join in on this conversation, but the truth was, Josh always clammed up around Justin’s lover, or he became borderline combative. Neither of those would be particularly productive in this instance.

Any instance, really.

“What about her?”

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Josh shrugged. “Just that she and I are going to be at the Xxchange tonight. I thought maybe y’all might want to know.”

Justin didn’t want to even think about why Belle would be going out to the club. “Not really. She’s made her opinion on me and Ev pretty clear.”

Josh clucked his tongue. “I’d never have thought you’d give up so easy.”

“She doesn’t want us.” And it hurt to admit it.

“I think she does,” Josh disagreed. “She was a mess for the first week, and now she’s trying to figure a few things out about herself. I thought it might be a good opportunity for y’all to remind her what she’s missing.”

Justin rubbed at his forehead as he closed his eyes. “Josh, it’s not that simple. And it’s not just me I have to watch out for. I don’t want to see Evan hurt again, and I sure as hell don’t want to be hurt. Annabelle could have called or even freaking emailed, but we haven’t heard from her at all.”

“Yeah, I know.” Josh looked down at his hands for a long moment before sighing and looking back up at Justin. “I’m not going to betray her confidence, but I will tell you that sometimes people need a little push even if they’re pointed in the right direction.”

“What does that even mean?” Justin’s head started pounding.

Leaning forward, Josh pinned Justin with a look. “It means that she’s trying, but really, I’m not so sure you and Evan are.”

“I’m not going to chase her. Neither is Evan.”

“I’m not telling you to,” Josh snapped. “I’m just telling you she is trying to figure things out…”

Knowing his concentration—which had been shoddy before this impromptu visit by Josh—was now thoroughly shot, Justin turned back to the computer and exited out of the accounting programme. He shoved the stack of bills into a sloppy pile then looked at his brother. “Why are you even here?”

Josh grinned. “Because I love you, and I know you and Evan don’t play around on each other. I know y’all have always wanted…needed, rather, a woman to make you both feel complete. I think Annabelle’s pretty damned amazing, and like I said, she’s trying to work things out in her head. I think
she
thinks she has to fix some things about herself before she can contact you two. I don’t know how long that’ll take or how patient you are—not very, BEND