Beneath the Palisade (15 page)

Ian had wanted to hear something encouraging. He clamped onto the hopeful portions of her comments and hung on for dear life. Every muscle, every nerve in his body had been poised for bad news. It was his nature to expect the worst. Another wave of emotion brought tears to his eyes. He needed to keep it together.

“We’ve moved him out of surgery and into a recovery room where we will be able to monitor for anything problematic.” The doctor didn’t acknowledge Ian’s fragile state.

“Do you think I’ll be able to see him tomorrow?” he found the courage and energy to ask, drying his eyes with his sleeve.

“Most likely you can see him tonight if you’d like. Your group is a little large to all visit at once, but you and another of your friends are welcome to sit with him. He’s sleeping now. We administered anesthesia prior to operating. He’ll come around sometime tonight, and it might be a very good thing for him to see your handsome face when he wakes.”

He blushed. Her warm and caring remark caught him off guard.

“We’re doing everything we can for him. He’s in good hands. You’ll have to trust that. Did the chaplain ask you if any family needed to be contacted? Because of the witnesses and the status of the case, Mr. Callahan’s name has already been leaked by some of the news organizations. The front desk is getting calls regarding his status. If I can update our own staff on the family situation, it will make their jobs easier, and we won’t run the risk of offending anyone while we protect the patient’s right to privacy. In that regard, you’ll have to determine for yourself what you want to share with your friends.”

Ian nodded that he understood. “Is this the kind of thing that makes national news?”

“I would suspect so. Is there something we can do to help?”

He shook his head. “He’s got a grandmother in Iowa. She’ll worry if she doesn’t hear from him. Maybe she’s seen it on the news already. I’ll need to get to her.”

“If she’s elderly, take my advice and tell her only good things. Tell her he’s stabilized, the bullet has been removed, and he’s resting comfortably. You might want to give her an exact time when you will get back to her with another update. We should know more in the morning, and certainly have a better idea of his progress by midday tomorrow.”

“Thank you, that sounds good.”

I wonder what happened to Harper’s phone? I’ll have to ask Brent.

Dr. Monroe stood and moved toward the door.

“Doctor, I can’t thank you enough.” Ian stood.

“How the rest of tonight goes will dictate my schedule. Here’s a number where you can leave a message. I’ll get back to you as quickly as I can.”

He met her halfway and took the scrap of paper.

“They’re usually good about tracking me down. I’ll arrange for someone to give you an update if for some reason I’m not here. Hold a strong thought for your friend.”

Finding a box of tissue on a corner table after the doctor left the room, he blew his nose and sat back down to collect his thoughts.

If anyone is listening, please don’t take him.

He struggled to comprehend what had happened. Exhausted physically and emotionally, he’d almost forgotten he wasn’t here alone.
Oh man, everyone’s outside.
Ian went to the door and discovered his posse waiting in a small reception area a few feet down the hallway.

“We just have to wait. He’s stable.” He made it as far as Andy before collapsing into his arms. Allison and Spencer closed in around him.

“That’s okay. If there’s hope, that’s all any of us need to know for now, buddy.” Ian felt Spencer’s hand rubbing his back. If there was ever a time in his life he needed his friends, it was right now. It took several minutes for him to work through this last wave of emotion.

“Where’s Brent?” He looked around when he could finally step away and hold his own.

“I’m here.” Brent scurried over to the group. “I was updating Harper’s boss, Duncan Price. He wanted you to know that if there’s anything he or the firm can do, we should let him know.” Brent handed him the partner’s card.

“The doctor said Harper’s—” Ian took in a deep breath. “—stable. I like her. I think he’s in good hands.” He thought about what else he could say. There were a million bits and pieces vying for attention as he tried to make sense of it all. “Brent, I’m worried about Harper’s grandmother. I don’t have her number, but I know it’s on his cell phone. Do you have any idea what happened to it?”

“It’s here.” Brent produced the phone from his pocket. “I took it from Harper’s hand. I’ve talked to Grandma Callahan a bunch of times over the years. She’s a sweet lady. I don’t mind calling her.”

As Brent stepped into the group, arms took hold of him. Ian shared the advice from Dr. Monroe regarding Grandma’s update.

For the first time in his life, he thought as they swayed back and forth, he couldn’t find a single thing funny about a group hug.

A
LEX
sipped his Dew and stared out the car window. The bonfire had grown over twice its original size since he’d left his friends and ducked back into Zits. The crowd around it had gotten larger too. Along with a handful of freaks plus a few stragglers from schools nearby, most of his class was present, getting wasted on keg beer. The party was strategically located in a remote tree farm outside the city limits. He dreaded these end of the year blowouts. Even this year, with his graduation a few weeks away, he wished he were anywhere but here. Graduation—his life was about to change. He leaned his forehead against the window. He wasn’t sure how or when the change would come, but he felt it looming in the air.

Big-time change
.

He had never been a drinker. He saw enough of that at home to last a lifetime. And even if he were a drinker, tonight he felt like being alone. Alone with his thoughts. He was consumed by replaying what had happened that afternoon beneath the palisade. Back in his car at Norbert’s, he’d felt ashamed for being so weak. He was starting to reevaluate those feelings.

I’m gay. It’s because I live in this crappy small town I’m forced to sneak around, and that’s what’s making me feel shitty. Guys hold hands walking down the sidewalks in San Francisco. This town is fucked up, not me.
If he could just hang on a little longer.

Audrey promised this summer he could start waiting tables during lunch if he agreed to keep his regular hours busing and doing the dishes during the dinner rush. The extra cash would help him with his grand exit. When the season wound down, he’d wave a big goodbye to the palisade and head west, maybe all the way to San Fran. He could live his life there any way he chose. For the first time all night, he felt the dark cloud of doom begin to lift.

Where did Colin and Sarah go?

It was after ten. Safe to go home. His dad would be passed out in front of the television. He scoured the crowd, looking for his best friend.
Dammit, Colin. I hate it when you ditch me like this.

“Dude, what are you doing sitting in Zits?” Colin whipped open the car door and leaned in.

“You scared the crap out of me. Where’ve you been?” He watched Colin throw the remainder of a twelve-pack into the backseat.

“There’s a party going on, if you haven’t noticed. You okay?” Colin settled into his designated shotgun seat and slammed the door.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Not really into it, I guess. Where’s Sarah?” Alex looked over to the fire to see if he could spot her.

“She’s in the woods with Emily… crying.” Colin sounded disgusted.

“Huh?” He needed some clarification on this one.

“I’m breaking up with her. Let’s bounce! I’m not into this either.”

“Whoa, when was this decided?” He was surprised. Captain of the wrestling team and the cute cheerleader; for some reason he’d just thought they’d marry and have a bunch of great-looking kids.
I didn’t see that one coming.

“Tonight. I just decided tonight. She was all in my face about going on a vacation this summer with her family, and I don’t want to do it. Her dad’s a dick. No way am I going to do that. There’s other stuff too. Come on, let’s go somewhere else.”

Alex started up Zits and guided the car down the rutted road out of the tree farm and onto the highway.

“You hungry?” he asked when he could finally relax his grip on the wheel.

“Naw, I’m thirsty. Let’s park somewhere so I can pound down a few of these brews before I go home and crash. Where should we go?”

“I know.” Alex blushed, thinking he’d been too quick to solve the “where to” problem. “Let’s see if the road leading down to the old palisade cabins is okay.”
Returning to the scene of the crime?

“That works, but try not to get Zits stuck. That would suck.” Colin reached in the backseat and grabbed a beer.

Alex turned off the highway onto the road leading down to the lake. “Wow, it looks like somebody else has been down here recently.” It felt strange to lie to his best friend. Strange and kind of empowering at the same time.

“Probably Sheriff Parker making sure no deadbeat out-of-work taconite dudes are living here. Oh man, I’m sorry!” Colin reached over and punched Alex on the shoulder.

“It’s cool. He is a deadbeat… not a dad. You forgot to tack on asshole. I don’t see anyone else around, do you?” He parked Zits in the same spot he’d been parked at with Mike.

“Nope! The coast is clear.” Colin flashed him a thumbs-up. “I wonder if this beat-up old place will ever get reopened? Maybe it will get torn down and people will build those humongo homes here, like they did outside of Silver Bay where the Cozy Inn used to be.”

Alex didn’t have an opinion or an answer. They sat in silence for a few moments, staring out at the lake. He and Colin had hung around together for so long they could sit like this for hours without feeling the need to make conversation.

“Wanna get high?” Colin reached into his coat and pulled out a pipe and a ragged baggie.

“Yeah, sure.” He enjoyed getting high if he was relaxed and felt comfortable. Colin always had weed.

“I can’t wait to get out of this town,” Colin said, passing the lit pipe.

Tell him. Tell him tonight.

He took a hit off the pipe and listened while Colin ran down his list of reasons for wanting to go away to school. For the most part, the list didn’t change much. Occasionally there would be a new entry, like tonight.

“I feel like Sarah is strangling me.” Colin took a huge hit off the pipe. “I like her fine,”—he attempted to talk while still holding in the hit—“but do I want to spend the rest of my life with her? This shit is really good.”
Colin emptied his lungs, filling the car with sweet smoke. “I don’t think so. I’d end up in jail because I’d lose my temper and kill her dad.” Colin took another hit. “Have you made any plans to boogie?”

Tell him. This is stupid. Tell him now.

Alex couldn’t keep track of the times he’d come close to having this conversation with Colin. Today felt different. His experience down here with Mike had in some way validated once and for all what he had refused to admit. Whatever the hell the reason, tonight it felt right. He took over the pipe and cautiously inhaled. “Kind of. Colin, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“Are you finally going to find the balls to tell me you’re gay? Sorry, I probably shouldn’t have said balls.” Colin glanced over with that droopy, goofy smile you had to love.

He was stunned. Blood rushed to his head. His vision blurred for several seconds and then cleared. When he’d had a moment to come to terms with Colin’s frank deduction, he started to laugh. Colin exploded seconds later and then went into a coughing fit of epic proportions, causing Zits to rock from side to side.

“Oh man, I’m going to barf,” Alex barely got out. Tears were rolling down his cheeks.

“Shut the hell up! Don’t say another thing, I’m dyin’.” Colin hugged his chest as he weathered another violent round of coughing. “You pole sucker,” Colin taunted when he was finally able to breathe.

“How long have you known?” He couldn’t imagine Colin had kept something like this quiet for long.

“Boundary waters.” Colin looked over to Alex.

“Huh?” Alex didn’t have a clue. “I’m not getting it. What does boundary waters mean?”

That was two years ago.

“My sleeping bag slipped off my pack into the lake when we were loading the canoe after that long portage. That night, remember we laid a tarp over my wet sleeping bag, using it as the bottom layer, and then shared your bag for a top cover. Do you remember that?”

Colin, you were sleeping. I remember, you were sleeping.

“Yeah, I remember. So?” His stomach tightened.

“You thought I was asleep. I wasn’t. Dude, I felt your hand touch my ass… and stay there.”

Alex looked away. He felt his face flush. Waves of shame swept over him. There wasn’t a thing he could say. He remembered it in such detail it would frighten Colin if he only knew.

“I don’t know what to say.” He was humiliated and unable to look back over to his best friend.

“It’s cool. You asked me how I knew so I told you. Honestly, I thought you were gay for a long time before, but that’s the moment you confirmed it for me, dude. Hey, look, I don’t care. If I did, you would have heard from me before now.”

“You were snoring. I thought you were asleep.”

“I’m great at fake snoring. I got good at it to keep my little sister from bugging me.”

“I can’t believe you let me get away with it.” He finally found the courage to look over. He was rewarded with another droopy smile.

“I kind of liked it. But kind of didn’t. I’ve had some time to think about this, and I think on some level, I understood what courage it took for you to make the move, and—” Colin punched him on the shoulder. “—I knew you needed to do it. Wanna beer now?”

“No, but I’ll take another hit. Wow! This is amazing.” He accepted the pipe, lit it, and took a nice, slow toke before passing it over.

“You need to get out of here. You need to go where you can be yourself, dude.” Colin opened the window and emptied the pipe.

“Yeah, I know.”
I need a plan. As soon as I have a plan, you’ll be the first to know.