Authors: Lisa de Jong
“Could you give me a minute? I forgot to tell Ben something.”
Spinning around after Julian nods his approval, I make my way back to the car. Ben is unloading the luggage, even though Julian said that someone was going to take care of them.
Gosh, he really is perfect.
When I reach him, he lifts his eyes and what I see in their depths scares me. The laugh is gone. He looks very angry. And hurt.
”Um, sorry about that. I didn’t mean to run off with your friend like that. And I’m sorry for bringing up Ashley. It wasn’t nice of me.” I tuck my hair behind my ear with a sweaty hand. My skin feels clammy with nerves.
Ben closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. After a moment, he opens them again and the look he gives me lets me know in how much trouble I am.
“Whatever, Cathy. Go ahead. Julian is a shit load of fun. Hope you guys enjoy each other,” he spits out.
He walks past me, picks up our suitcases in his hands and makes his way to the house, passing Julian without even acknowledging him.
What have I done?
****
My eyes follow Ben until he disappears inside the house. With a heavy heart, I turn to look at Julian who’s watching me carefully. The anger I felt before has been replaced by guilt. Why did I have to let my craziness get the best of me?
When I reach the spot where I left Julian, I’m aware that I should say something to break the tension filling the air, but I’m at a loss for words. As I search my mind for an icebreaker, I hear Julian ask, “Why is Ben so pissed? Did I interrupt a fight or something?” Putting his hands in the back pockets of his jeans, he waits for my answer.
Tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear, I decide to be somewhat honest with him. I don’t know the guy, but if he’s Ben’s best friend, he must be trustworthy. Besides, I like him.
“Well…yes. It started as nothing, but then he said some stuff that really bothered me.” Nerves make me rock on my heels. “And, uh, I might’ve let my bitchiness get the best of me which sucks because I took an already shitty situation and made it worse. And my running off with you didn’t help at all. I mean, we’ve just met, so yes, I can see why Ben is so pissed off at me. And I’m sorry about before…you know, my lame attempt at flirting. I was trying to get to Ben.”
“Don’t give it a second thought. I could tell something was up. And, you don’t suck at flirting. You were very cute.” He grins as he stares at my mouth for a second too long. “As for Ben, I think he was pretty close to beating the shit out of me, but I don’t give a fuck about that.” He tilts his head and smirks naughtily, “In prep school Ben and I always solved everything with a good fistfight.
Always.”
He smirks, “However, that jealousy is new. Ben doesn’t do jealousy, it’s always the other way around. Not even when he was with Ashley.”
When the name of Ben’s ex crosses his mouth, an expression of disgust crosses his face, almost as if he’d swallowed a bitter pill, but it’s quickly replaced with a grin. “And I gotta say, Cathy, that I like it. It means that he’s getting over that bitch.”
Pondering his words for a moment, and letting them sink in, I smile as I look down at the steps. “Do you really think so?”
I look up and meet his sincere eyes as he nods at me “Hell, yes. That bitch did a number on him. And trust me, the Ben I just saw didn’t look depressed like the last time we hung out. This time he looked fucking mad because I was hitting on his girl.”
“I hope you’re right. I really do. You see…”
Then I remember the reason for our fight and his silence when I confronted him about Ashley, and I’m not sure how correct Julian is anymore.
“I don’t see, so why don’t you tell me? I like you. I can tell we’re going to be good friends, so tell me. Maybe I could help?”
“Fine, but remember you asked. Just don’t yawn if I bore you.”
“You would never bore me. Now, go on. But, wait. I have an idea. I can tell it’s going to be one of those long Morgan kind of stories where it’s always the guy’s fault and never the girl’s.”
I whack him on the shoulder, making him raise his hands out of his pockets in a surrendering gesture. “Hey! I was just being honest! But seriously, sometimes if you girls just spoke to us instead of acting all cryptic and shit, we would know what the fuck is going on. Anyway, I’m freezing my ass off, and you must be too. Why don’t we go to my mom’s greenhouse? We can talk there and avoid the orgy currently taking place inside my parent’s home.”
“B-but what about Ben? What if he gets the wrong idea when we don’t come find him right away?”
“I don’t give a fuck. He was rude to you just now, let him sweat it.”
“Um, okay. But, wait. Before we go, I need to…um, make sure of one thing.”
“Yes?”
“Well, since I just met you, I hope that “going to your mother’s greenhouse” isn’t code for hooking up because I’m not interested. I’m with Ben. And, well...yeah. I’m with Ben.” Blushing, I can’t believe what I said. I just told a very dreamy guy to not get any funny ideas with me. Me!
As if, Cathy. As If.
“Shit, Cathy. Really? One, I would never take you to my mother’s greenhouse to hook up. I’d take you to my room. I have the best fucking bed in this place. Two, I don’t poach, ever. Not even when the girl is as pretty as you are. Three, Ben is my best friend. And four, and I mean this, I want to help. I can already tell that Ben likes you, and Ben liking someone is a very good thing.”
“Oh my God, I’m sorry. I just wanted to make sure. I didn’t want to give you the wrong idea.”
“Nah. I like that. You’re cool. Now let’s go. I am seriously freezing my ass off.”
“Okay.”
The greenhouse is beautiful. Glass and plants and trees are everywhere surrounding us. There are roses and orchids and so many other foreign plants whose names I don’t know but have seen in bouquets on the covers of bridal magazines. As we walk deeper into the room, breathing the aromatic air, I can almost imagine myself in the middle of a jungle with all its exotic and abundant flowers and greenery towering over me. The moon, the only source of light inside the glass structure, allows me to see and follow Julian’s tall form without tripping over flowerpots and stands.
Julian sits down on a bench next to what looks to be a funky tree with its spiky leaves, and pats the spot next to him. When I join him, Julian leans back, turning his body so that I can see his face clearly, an easy smile appearing on his lips. “So, here we are. Now you can tell me what’s going on. Let’s see if I can work my magic, unless you would like to have a sexcapade in here after all?”
“Ha Ha Ha. Very funny. And have my ass poked by one of those weird spiky plants? No, thank you.”
“I had to try, ya know?” Julian says, laughter in his eyes.
I smile and look down at my lap, watching my hands twist. “Okay. So basically, I’m not sure what’s going on between Ben and me. I mean, I know what’s going on. I’m not stupid. It’s just that, well, I’m not sure whether we’re serious or just having fun. We haven’t discussed labels or anything. It’s not like I can say, hey Ben, do you want to be my boyfriend? I’m not that big of a loser, yet. I don’t know if we’re in a relationship or just dating. I don’t even know if he wants to be exclusive. I know I do.”
I lift my gaze and stare at the shadows of the plants playing on the wall. “The thing is I-I think I’m falling for him, Julian. Like in love. And we haven’t even had sex.”
“Wait, what? You guys haven’t fucked? No fucking way. Man…his pissy mood is making a lot more sense. Shit.” Julian’s shocked expression reminds me of an old school cartoon where the eyes pop out of its eye sockets.
Nodding as I laugh at Julian, I continue, “Before you feel bad for Ben, don’t. I’m not going into details, but trust me, he’s doing just fine. But yes. We haven’t gone all the way. I told him I wanted to wait to make sure he’s over his ex. And he’s been super sweet and understanding. On my way here today, I decided that I wasn’t going to worry about her anymore, so I told him…okay, I kind of implied that tonight was going to be the night, and he freaked out. He went all righteous asshole on me, saying he hadn’t brought me here for sex. So, yes, that’s when I let my anger get the best of me and brought Ashley up and—”
I hear Julian groan and curse under his breath, causing me to look at him for the first time since I started talking. “What did he say?”
“Well, that’s when things took a turn for the worse because he didn’t answer me at all. I asked him how long he waited to have sex with her, and then I asked him if he was over her, and he didn’t say anything. Just remained silent. And that’s when you decided to introduce yourself. So now I really have no clue what’s going on between us. If there’s even an us to worry about.”
Julian sits forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “So, let me get this straight. You guys haven’t fucked. You’re not sure what you guys are, and you’re afraid that he hasn’t gotten over that bitch. And now he’s pissed off because he thinks you’re thinking he brought you here to get him some ass. And you mentioned the ex, which probably pissed him off the most. Because now he thinks you don’t trust him enough and let’s face it, it was totally uncalled for.”
“Yes, that’s everything in a nutshell.” Guilt covers my whole body in a tent of shame.
“What a pussy.”
“Hey!”
“Sorry, but he is being a baby. He needs a lesson, and I think after I’m done tonight, you will definitely know what’s going on between the two of you.”
“What about Ashley?”
“I’m telling you. He’s over her. You should’ve seen the look he gave me when you asked me for a tour of the place. If looks could kill, I’d be a dead man.”
“Are you sure? You’re scaring me. What are you thinking?”
“Trust me, Cathy. I know him. Why don’t we play a little game?”
“Really? Do you think that’s a good idea?”
“Yep. You’ll thank me tomorrow. If he lets you leave the room, that is. “
“Okay. Why don’t you tell me what you’re thinking about?”
Chapter 10
Present
“Wait! Hold the door!”
Running across the marble foyer as fast as I can, I reach the elevator just in time for the last person to hold the doors open for me. I’m breathing heavily, but I manage to thank her and make my way towards the back. When I’m standing against the wall, I begin to fan myself with my hands, trying to cool down. I close my eyes and pray that we don’t have to stop on each floor, wasting time. Today would be the worst occasion to be running late since it’s Arsen’s first day at work under my supervision.
It’s been three days since I saw him last.
When I feel hot air hit the back of my neck, a prickle of awareness runs down my body settling in the pit of my stomach. I immediately open my eyes to see Arsen standing next to me. He’s watching me with a playful smirk on his lips, and his distinctive blue eyes shine brightly. I can see the light blue colors mixed with green sparks in them.
Um, what is he doing?
“Morning, gorgeous. Ready to teach me how to be a man? You know, break me in?” Sarcasm is dripping off his voice, yet I sense the laughter behind it.
A little flustered and a lot pissed off by his words, I just nod and move away to put some space between us, which isn’t possible given that we’re crammed in this small elevator. Arsen must know that his greeting rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe it was his purpose all along because he closes the space I just created by standing close to me again.
Crossing my arms in front of my chest in a defensive stance, I’m about to move to the front of the line when I feel his warm hand wrap around my elbow, pulling me back to stand next to him. Heat shoots up my arm, scalding me like boiling water. Stunned for a moment that he would touch me without a care to physical boundaries, I lift my gaze to stare at him.
There’s a twinkle in his eyes as he lowers his smiling mouth to whisper in my ear, “Chill, Dimples. I’m just teasing you…”
I want to say something, but nothing comes out. His mouth is so close to my ear that I can feel the fullness of his lower lip graze my earlobe. Annoyed at the reaction of my body, I turn to look at him as I wrench my arm free of his hold. “Keep your hands to yourself, kiddo. Now back off,” I hiss back.
He throws his head back as he laughs, so I’m able to observe the thickness of his neck and the way his broad shoulders flex as they shake with laughter. I scowl at him. I want to grab my bag and hit him with it in the head. Maybe he’ll stop laughing then. Maybe he’ll get a concussion. Maybe that’ll erase the stupid smirk off his face. I’m giving the idea some serious thought when the doors open, letting people off.
I look up at the number and realize we still have a long way to go. I snake through some people until there are about three or four bodies in between us because I
don’t
want to be standing next to him anymore.
Take that, pretty boy. Smiling at my success in getting rid of him, I consider possible methods of how to put him in his place once we get to the office. I’m thinking about burying him alive in endless paperwork, assigning him to the most clueless intern we have amongst other painful possibilities, when I feel hot air breathing down my neck again.
“Why, hello there. Fancy meeting you here again,” he murmurs in my ear, his voice playful.
You’ve got to be kidding me!
I close my eyes in frustration, trying to summon all my power to put him in his place once and for all. He said
no
flirting! When I open them, I slowly turn around to face him. The angry words get stuck in my throat, never leaving. Standing behind me in all his blond glory is an innocent looking Arsen with a shit eating grin on his beautiful face and a challenge in his eyes. He wants me to play his silly game with him.
I want to end it, to be the adult and remind him of the pact we made and how he was going to back off and behave. But something inside me tells me this is an Arsen trying to play nice. This is an Arsen trying to be friendly and nothing more. With one hand in his pocket, he props his shoulder on the wall, reclining his body lazily against it.