Bent not Broken (360 page)

Suddenly, I felt like an idiot. I was making judgments based on sensationalized tabloid melodrama. I knew better, but it was so hard to refrain when I found myself so emotionally involved. “No,” I frowned. “No, I guess the pictures didn’t really tell me all of that.”

Chris took a step toward me. Towering over me, he brushed the hair out of my face and traced his finger down the side of my cheek. Staring into my eyes, his brown irises swirling with an indescribable emotion, he murmured, “Did the pictures tell you that I haven’t been able to get you off my mind since I saw you in New York? That the only thing I can think about is being here with you, in this
normal
life, and not having to say goodbye again?”

I couldn’t speak. My heart thundered in my chest. I didn’t want to have to say goodbye again either. Every time I closed my eyes, I relived the dream of our kiss, the feel of his arms around me, the taste of his lips on mine. I longed for him.

Chris cupped my face in his hands, staring at me with a longing that matched the one in my heart. “I don’t understand any of this, Salem. When I walked away from Kaitlyn, I thought I’d never love another woman like I loved her. I’m confused. I find myself thinking and feeling things I never imagined in a million years. I’m a fucking wreck. Part of this feels so wrong. I was a teenager. You were my counselor. It’s hard to get past that. That’s why this whole thing has me so messed up.”

He glanced away, lost for a moment in his own thoughts. He ran his fingers down the sides of my arms, triggering goose bumps on my skin. Clasping my hands and fixing his gaze on me again, he said quietly, “These strong feelings I have for you, they’re just too soon. But then I look back, remembering the bond we had, how you were there for me, how much you meant to me back then, and I realize that this thing between us now…it isn’t new. It started years ago with a closeness we didn’t understand, but both needed. A friendship that helped us both through some tough shit.”

I nodded, too overcome with thoughts and feelings to give a response. He was right. We did have a connection back then; one I couldn’t explain and didn’t understand. Since the day I’d left him at his apartment in Charlotte, I’d found myself having feelings for him that confused me too. My brain told me it was wrong because he was a teenager when I met him, but now he was a man—a strong, handsome, focused and driven man that I found myself thinking about more and more each day.

Chris pulled me closer and smiled. “Because of you, I walked away from juvie that day with hope. You listened to me, and you encouraged me. You
gave
me hope. Hope for a life out of trouble, a future in music, a chance for happiness, even love. Dum spiro spero. While I breathe, I hope, remember?” Then looking me straight in the eyes, he whispered, “I realize it now.
You
are my hope, Salem.”

I gasped. I didn’t know what to say, how to feel. All I knew was that whatever he felt in his heart at that moment, I felt it too. The sincerity in his voice caused me to swallow hard the lump that had been forming in my throat. I looked down at his tattoo as the tears slipped silently down my cheeks. All along, he’d been walking through life, hoping for something. And all along, the hope he sought was
me
.

Slowly, he leaned toward me. For a split second, we shared the air between us. This moment…it was exhilarating and scary. I felt lost, and yet I felt right at home. Inhaling simultaneously, our lips united, and the world around us disappeared.

The moment his lips pressed to mine, a pulse of electricity throbbed deep down, momentarily taking my breath away. I succumbed to the gentle pressure of his mouth on mine and kissed him back. Softly, his tongue parted my lips and delved into my mouth massaging my tongue with his. Pressing his body flush against mine, he walked me backwards until the small of my back was pressed against the counter behind us.

Chris moaned, grasping the sides of my face and weaving his fingers into my hair. He gently pulled me toward him, kissing me with reckless abandon. My hands found their way to the back of his head as I desperately tugged him closer to me. I felt like my body could take flight with the feelings that were swirling throughout it. The emotion behind his kiss awakened sensations inside of me that I hadn’t felt in quite some time. Or maybe ever. I melted into him, allowing the moment to overtake me. My heart felt full. Everything was perfect.

Chris ended his kiss, slowly pulling away to look at me. “Wow,” he whispered. “That was…just…wow.” He closed his eyes, leaning into me. I closed mine too, appreciating the peace between us as I breathed in the cool, refreshing scent of his cologne.

We held onto each other, savoring the moment for several minutes. Our bodies yearned for more, but our time together had all too quickly come to an end. Gently touching his forehead to mine, he groaned, “Damn, I wish I didn’t have to leave again.”

I peered up at him, staring into those dark windows to his soul. “I wish you didn’t have to leave either,” I said, clutching him to me as if I never wanted to let go. Atlanta could wait. I needed him more.

“Tonight has been wonderful,” he said softly. “Every night before I fall asleep on my rat trap tour bus, I’m going to think of this moment right here with you.”

He leaned in again, softly brushing his lips with mine, and whispered, “You’re everything I’ve been wishing for, Salem.”

I smiled under the heat of his breath and felt myself falling head over heels for Chris King.

Chapter Twenty-Two

SALEM

The daily routine for me was always the same old, boring rut. Weekends were even more so. Sometimes Alexis spent the weekends at her dad’s house or with a friend. On those days, the highlight of my day was hearing Chris’s voice on the phone.

Concert or no, Chris called me every night. Sometimes, I’d get the call early, before a show. Sometimes, it was late, around two in the morning. Sometimes I’d hear loud, raucous partying in the background. Sometimes I’d hear silence. Some nights he’d be drunk off his ass, chalking it up to ‘life as a rock star’. Sometimes he’d be stone-cold sober. Nevertheless, he’d always call to say goodnight. Every night, it ended the same way.

“It’s good to hear your voice,” Chris would whisper into the phone. “I can’t wait to see you again.”

“Me either,” I’d say, sadness lacing my tone. “Hopefully soon.”

“Goodnight, beautiful. Sweet dreams.”

I’d always slip off to dreamland with a smile on my face.

****

“Meet me in Jacksonville,” Chris pleaded with me late one night on the phone.

“I can’t…I’ve got Alexis–”

“Bring her too,” he insisted, sounding desperate. “I’ll get two tickets to fly you down here for the weekend. She’ll be back in time to go to school on Monday. I need to see you.”

I debated his offer. God, I missed him so much. “I can’t. Her first volleyball game is this weekend. I have to be here for that.”

“I understand.” The disappointment in his voice was palpable. “Well, maybe I can fly you down to Tampa or out to New Orleans when we get there.”

The ache inside of me grew a little bigger. “I’m so sorry…I’d love to see you. I miss you. I just can’t do it this weekend.”

He sighed, long and loud. “It’s okay. We’ll work something out. I can’t wait to see you again.”

I swallowed, wishing I could reach through the phone and touch him. “I can’t wait to see you either.” We hadn’t exactly defined what we were to each other, afraid to label it, but every day without each other, our longing grew stronger. With every phone conversation, our feelings grew deeper. All I knew was that with each passing day, I felt more connected to him than ever.

****

Saturday came and Chris was in Jacksonville without us. Their concert had been Friday night, so they had the whole weekend off before they left for Tampa on Sunday afternoon. Alexis’s team won their game and we headed to the local frozen yogurt shop. We made a quick stop to fix our treats then headed home to celebrate.

I was teasing Alexis about the gummy worms she’d picked as a topping when we pulled into the driveway. It was getting dark. The sun was setting, and bright orange streaks illuminated the sky. The sunsets were always beautiful this time of year.

“Mom, look.” Alexis pointed toward the house.

Holy shit. It couldn’t be.
But it was Chris. On my front steps. He looked amazing in worn jeans and tight, long-sleeved Henley. He was leaning against the post, one foot propped up a step higher than the other, with both arms resting on his knees looking down at his phone. A red duffle sat next to him. He looked up when he saw us pull up to the house.

I slammed the car in Park and hopped out. He stood up when he saw me, bearing a mischievous grin and a please-don’t-tell-me-to-leave expression. I catapulted from the car, sprinting to get to him. He seemed just as eager to catch me as we both threw our arms around each other.

“What…? How did you…? You’re here!” I finally managed to get something out.

Chris tightened his grip, lifting me a couple of inches off the ground. He brushed my hair away from my face, gently kissing me on the forehead. “I missed you. I had to see you.”

I cupped his face in my hands, relishing the soft prickle of his stubbled cheeks. “I’m so happy to see you.” Then remembering his tour schedule, I asked, “But, don’t you have to be in Tampa tomorrow?”

He pulled back and frowned. “I have to leave by four in the morning. So, we only have a few hours together. But, I’ve missed you so much.”

About that time, Alexis made her way up onto the porch, gawking at our surprise visitor.

“Hi, Alexis.” Chris grinned, his arms still wrapped firmly around me. “I hope you don’t mind that I crashed your volleyball after-party with your mom.”

Alexis shot me a sidelong glance and smiled, “Not at all. It’s not often a famous celebrity stops by our house.”

“Oh, that reminds me,” Chris said, stuffing his hand in the back pocket of his jeans. “I brought you something.” A chain with a guitar pick hanging from it dangled in his hand as he gave it to Alexis. “I used this pick during my concert at Madison Square Garden.”

“Oh my god, are you serious?” Alexis reached out and Chris dropped the necklace in her hand. “This is so freaking cool!” she cried. “Thank you so much. I can’t wait to tell Olivia. She’ll die!”

He winced a little. “Can you keep it a secret until I leave town?”

Alexis pretended to zip her lips. “Our secret,” she whispered.

Chris winked. “Thanks. So you don’t mind that I’m here, then? Hanging out with your mom?”

Her eyes went wide. “Are you kidding me? This is freaking awesome!”

I glanced around the darkened neighborhood. “Let’s go inside before someone sees us out here.”

“Good idea,” Chris said, nodding.

Before long, Chris and Alexis were hashing it out over a game of Gin Rummy, while I fixed never-ending rounds of popcorn with my old-fashioned stovetop popcorn maker.

I tried not to let my imagination run wild.
This isn’t going to happen. We are not a family. You are living a fantasy. Don’t get your hopes up, Salem.

But every time I caught Chris staring at me, those thoughts were nudged away, and I found myself melting like the butter I’d just poured over his bowl of popcorn.

“Thanks, Salem,” he said, the look in his eyes was intimate, as I handed him the last bowl. He caught my wrist. “You don’t know what this means to me. Tonight. This
normal
night.” He looked at Alexis who seemed to understand what he meant.

She nodded sympathetically. “I guess it’s hard, huh? Life on the road?” Alexis asked.

“No doubt,” Chris confirmed, sounding tired. “I haven’t played Gin Rummy and Crazy Eights like this in a long time. It’s a breath of fresh air.” Chris smiled. The dimple in his cheek deepened while the emotions in my heart grew, and the war in my head raged on.

I was falling for him, helplessly. Not only was he gorgeous beyond belief, but he was humble, sweet, amazing, and compassionate. I couldn’t fight the urge inside of me to allow myself to completely accept the feelings I couldn’t deny.

Alexis yawned. It was a fake yawn. I could tell by the way she exaggeratedly stretched her arms above her head. Plus, she hadn’t been to bed before midnight on a Saturday night in years. It was only ten, so I knew she was just trying to be sly and let Chris and me have some private time.

“I think I’m gonna head to bed early tonight. Long day today,” she lied.

I nodded, discreetly winking at her like it was our secret. “Okay, honey. I’ll see you in the morning.”

She returned the wink then turned to Chris. “Thanks for coming, and thanks for the necklace, Chris.”

Chris smiled at her. “You’re very welcome. Now don’t go instagramming or facebooking about me. Wait until I’m long gone. We don’t need a mob at this house tonight.”

“I won’t. I promise,” she grinned back.

“Goodnight, Alexis,” I told her.

“Night, mom.” She gave me a quick hug and darted toward the stairs.

The moment she was out of sight, Chris hopped up and wrapped me in his arms. “You don’t know how much I’ve missed this, you in my arms like this,” he said, pulling me tight against him.

I sank into his chest, laying my head over the thumping beat of his heart. “I miss this too,” I admitted, breathing in his manly, musky scent.

Our bodies melded together as he cradled my head against him. Kissing me gently on the top of my head, he whispered, “I’ve missed you so much, Salem.”

I lifted my eyes to look at him. “Thank you for coming tonight. I know it wasn’t easy to get here, especially knowing we only have a few hours together.”

He looked down at me, smiling. “Baby, even if I had to drive all night just to spend one minute with you, it would all be worth it.”

My heart flipped in my chest hearing him call me ‘baby.’ It was definitely a nickname I could get used to.

He lowered his lips to mine. The hot rush of passion tore through my body the moment his lips touched me.
God, I’ve missed him.
I parted my lips, an invitation for his tongue to find a deeper connection.