Berserker's Rage (4 page)

“Good morning, Felicity. Are you ready to get the bandages off?” Dr. Watkins asked.

“Ready as I’ll ever be, doc. I just hope my job is still waiting for me when I get home.”

Felicia patted her knee. “Don’t worry about that silly old job, Fliss. You concentrate on getting better.”

Her mother’s admonishment had her grinding her back teeth, causing her jaws to ache.

“Don’t do that. You’ll hurt yourself.” The doctor touched her face.

How he knew she was doing anything behind the bandages she had no idea. She was tired of being the only one unable to see herself.

Every time they’d remove the dressings to do whatever needed done, her mother insisted she not look in the mirror. Felicity assumed the damage had been massive, and even though she’d never been a beauty, people never stopped and stared like she was a freak. Now, she feared that’s exactly what was going to happen, especially in the town they lived. Beverly Hills, the place where all the beautiful people lived, where plastic people were the norm.

A sob caught in her throat. “Just take these off. I’ll deal with the ugly duckling.”

She heard her mother make a choking noise. Dr. Watkins ignored them both, his capable hands began cutting away at the bandages. With each snip she swore her head was getting lighter.

“Don’t forget to breathe, dear.” Felicia’s fingers worked to uncurl hers from the chair.

“I take offense at the reference, Felicity. I think you will be pleased with my work. Honestly, it’s probably my best work, and that’s saying a lot.”

Somewhat alarmed at his words, Felicity inhaled and exhaled deeply. The last of the bandages came off without fanfare, her hands came up automatically, feeling for the scars she knew would be there.

“Now understand there will be some numbness where the incisions were, but they’re behind the hairline. You shouldn’t see any with your hair down. I believe the oral surgeon has told your mother, and you, that your jaws will not be completely healed for nine to twelve months, correct?” Dr. Watkins asked.

Felicity nodded. She’d had too many doctor, nurses, and physical therapist visits in the last eight weeks to last a life time. They said she was lucky that the most painful part of her recovery had been while she was in a coma. Felicity remembered waking up a couple times to pain that made her wish for death. Her face felt foreign to her, along with her eyes. She no longer needed to wear glasses, which she’d worn since third grade.

“Dr. Paililo told me what to expect, along with my daily exercises, weeks ago. I have been doing them under the eagle eye of my mother. Oh, and I’ve been brushing quite diligently I might add.” She smiled, feeling no pain as she did so. Her mom had made sure she knew the importance of good dental hygiene long before the attack, having the necessity reaffirmed by the oral surgeon was unneeded.

“Good, good. Would you like to see my masterpiece?” Dr. Watkins pulled a handheld mirror from his bag.

Felicia grabbed his hand. “Maybe we should let her sit and enjoy the feeling of having no bandages.”

Her mother seemed reluctant for her to look, which had butterflies dancing in her empty stomach. Felicity placed her hand over her flat abdomen, laughing at how she’d always wanted to be thin. Since her attack ten weeks ago, she’d dropped over forty pounds. The clothes she’d longed to wear, but always thought her hips and thighs were too big, were now something she could put on and look good in. She’d gone from an average size twelve to a slim size six. Her mom had gone shopping, bringing bags upon bags of things in for her to try on in the last week.

“No, I want to see. You know what they say about peeling a band aid off, right? If you do it slowly it’s more painful.”

“What do you think?” Dr. Watkins was cut off by Felicia taking the mirror from him.

“Fine, but your father and I want you to know that we have always thought you the most beautiful thing in the world. When you were so terribly damaged, we asked the doctor to put you back to the way you were. He said it would be almost impossible because they had to remove some of your jaw bones. Your cheeks were shattered along with your nose, so it was like putting together a puzzle after the table was picked up and shaken, only the pieces were replaced with similar ones,” Felicia said.

“What are you saying, mom?” A sense of panic came over her.

“Does she not know?” Dr. Watkins looked between Felicity and her mother.

“We wanted only the best for our baby. Dr. Watkins and his team are the best. You will see. Go ahead, doctor, let her see.” Felicia got up from her perch.

Felicity grabbed the mirror, but closed her eyes. Why was she scared to see what had been done to her? An image of the terminator flashed into her mind. Was she metal under the skin? She didn’t feel anything that resembled cold steel. Tapping into the courage that helped her fight back against her attackers, she lifted the mirror and looked at herself. Only the person staring back at her didn’t look like the person she’d stared at for the last twenty-four years. The green eyes weren’t the same shape either. She blinked, thinking the image would change, but the green only sparkled more with the onset of her tears. No longer was her nose a little too long, or her chin a bit too wide. Her cheekbones seemed higher and more prominent, however that could be due to the weight loss, but Felicity thought it was the cosmetic surgery. Even her eyebrows were raised, and already looked like they had the perfect arch. Her mouth was the only thing that didn’t look completely foreign with their fuller upper lip.

She touched her lips first as they trembled. “Why?” The one word question spilled out.

“Felicity, we couldn’t make you look exactly like you were. Have you seen some celebrities who looked like they’d had really bad surgery? Well, they were the ones with unrealistic expectations. Your parents showed me your picture. I then took what I had to work with and, honey, I couldn’t put you back that way without even more work. We removed fragments of bones. I didn’t want to put too much foreign body parts into you. In order to not do that we had to shave down.”

Listening to the doctors explanations she continued to look at the stranger in the mirror. Everything about her was different. “Who am I now?” She asked her mom.

“You are Felicity Evans. You’re a fighter, and my daughter.”

“But this isn’t me. I’m not beautiful like this.” She pointed at her face.

“Dr. Watkins has done a wonderful job, yes, but you’ve always been beautiful.” Felicia took the mirror away, wrapping her arms around her.

Felicity let her mom hold her while they both cried. She cried for the not so pretty woman she used to be, and for the person her parents made her look like. She wasn’t sure who she was anymore, but she was not a whiner.

A throat cleared. “I’ll let you two have this time together. There may still be some numbness, but that is normal. Your mother has my number if you need anything. Felicia, walk me out?”

“Go ahead.” Felicity stepped back from her mom. She wasn’t even sure when she’d stood up. One of the housekeepers came out to clean up, and smiled at her. Felicity let her hair fall to cover her face, an action she’d done thousands of times in the past. No more. She didn’t have a reason to hide her face because she was in Beverly Hills. Her lank brown hair needed a trim.

“Hi Marta, do you know where I can get a haircut?”

Marta’s eyes widened. “Oh, well, you should probably speak with Mrs. Evans. I’m sure she could organize something for you.”

Seeing the anxiety on the older woman’s face Felicity nodded. “Thank you. I’ll do that. Breakfast was lovely as usual.” She’d made it a habit to thank the staff, and try to not be a burden.

“I’ll pass that on to the chef. He will make note of your choices.”

No matter how nice, or chatty, none of the employees would engage her in conversation. Felicity thought they were afraid of the bandages. Now, with them gone, Marta still didn’t make eye contact.

“Marta, have you seen me? The bandages came off.” She asked, facing the bull head on.

“Yes, Ms. Evans. You are quite beautiful. We here at the villa have prayed you would recover fully. After we’d heard about your accident, none of us wanted to offend you. Thank you for being such a gracious guest.”

Felicity reached out and grabbed Marta’s hands. “You all have been wonderful. I thought something was wrong. All this time none of you talked to me, except polite chit chat.”

“Mrs. Evans instructed us on what to say and not to say. We value our jobs, young lady,” she said with a smile.

Her mother sounded like a tyrant. Felicity guessed her mom could be, especially when she thought her daughter was dying. “My mom is really a big softy, she was just scared. Don’t worry about her. I do need a haircut though. Look at these ends.” She pulled her long brown hair over her shoulder.

The sound of heels on the tiles announced her mother’s return. “Thank you, Marta, that will be all.”

“Mother, don’t be rude. I was just asking Marta if she knew where I could get my hair trimmed at.” Her mother’s expression was priceless.

“I’ll have a stylist come out and take care of it. For now, I think you need to rest.” Felicia waved Marta away.

Although she felt like she’d done nothing but sleep or rest since she’d woken up, and she wanted to tell her mother to back the heck up, she was tired. Hating the weakness in her body from the lack of exercise, she decided she was taking back her life as soon as she woke up.

“Seriously, it’s been over two months. Are you going to continue to pine after some chick you don’t even know?” Slater O’Neil asked

Hal stared at him across the table. Slater had replaced Keanu on their smokejumper team, and was now the youngest member of their squad. He looked over to see Brax talking on his cell phone.

“I’m not pining asswipe. It’s just strange that she’s just gone.” Hal swallowed down another drink of his beer.

“Not so. You said she comes from money. More than likely they put her in some fancy shmancy clinic to rest and recover. You know, those places where the stars go after they have plastic surgery. Like a no-tell-motel.” Slater lifted his bottle, like he’d just made a score.

Slater looked more like a young surfer, but his words had merit. His skills were unparalleled when it came to racing and putting out fires. Not to mention he had some serious cash himself. Mrs. Evans would’ve wanted to take her daughter away from the prying eyes of everyone, especially him. He didn’t understand why the older woman hated him. He’d saved her daughter’s life, not been the one who’d hurt her. His size scared people at first. At over six foot four, he’d learned to speak softly with his deep voice. His grandmother used to say his hands and feet reminded her of the saying about puppies. When people would look at a puppy and see large paws, they’d say he was going to be a big dog. Hal’s shoe size had been a size fourteen at the age of fourteen, much to his mom’s dismay. Luckily they’d stopped growing when he’d turned fifteen at the same size of fifteen. He could palm a basketball in one hand with no problem, so if he’d been a puppy, they’d have been a little afraid he’d be a huge dog. He assumed the same was true for humans. He did his best to appear less threatening.

Maybe tossing a man ten feet and impaling him on a pole turned her off, or the fact he’d knocked the other two assailants so hard they would never be the same again. Speculations did him no good. All he wanted to do was see for himself that she was okay. Resolution is what they called it. Then he could walk away and go on with his life. Maybe if he kept telling himself the lie it would become truth, and maybe pigs would fly too.

Brax hung up from his call, his easy smile gone. “You’re not going to believe this shit. I can’t get anything out of the assholes out in Cali on your girl. It’s like a net is cast over them, or someone much more powerful is protecting her than we believed. I think we need to head out to the West Coast for a vaca, get some sun and sand. They can keep me out over the phone, but nobody can in person.”

Hal rubbed his hands together. His captain didn’t like mysteries, and having his abilities blocked didn’t sit well with Brax. The man could undo any puzzle in minutes without using his special powers, seeing the light of anticipation on Brax’s face, had Hal’s own increasing. He’d almost let defeat enter his thoughts of never seeing Felicity again, making his heart ache, which he acknowledged was crazy.

“Get some rest boys, we leave at the butt crack of dawn,” Brax said, leaving without another word through the connecting door.

Hal nodded and got to his feet. He needed a shower, too keyed up to sleep. “I’ll see you in the morning, O’Neil.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Slater slapped him on the shoulder as he walked out the door.

Left alone, images of a broken Felicity popped into his head. She was no longer in danger, her family had taken measures to ensure her safety. Was he being selfish? Hal thought of calling Brax and telling him to cancel their flight, but then he imagined never knowing, and realized he couldn’t live the rest of his life if he didn’t see her at least one more time.

His mind made up, he went to take a shower. Looking at himself in the mirror, he saw what most people would see. An extremely tall blond man with light blue eyes. He wasn’t huge like Keanu in the muscles department, at six foot four, he weighed in at two hundred and forty pounds of solid muscle. Hal kept a tight rein on his self-control, knowing he could hurt someone if he didn’t. More than once as a teenager he’d woken with his seams ripped after an episode, with no memory of what had happened. Since joining the smokejumpers, he’d gained control and become one with it. They’d been called berserkers. If Hal had been a weaker man, he too would have lost himself to the being. The bloodlust could be all consuming.

He remembered the power that had flooded him the first time he’d felt the other. At twelve he hadn’t hit his growth spurt yet, but many of the boys in his seventh grade class had. He’d just moved to a new school, when his mom had dropped him off on the third day of. She was beautiful and had given him a kiss on the cheek, like she always did, before he got out of the car.