Best Dressed Lie (Keisha Jackson) (4 page)

“What’s wrong?”
“I’m pissed off. I stood in an extremely long line in Sam’s
Club only for the little greeter to swipe my damn receipt with
a highlighter. I know damn well she did not count the items in
my buggy, because all I had was a pack of damn cigarettes.
Now what’s the plan?” she said, irritated.
“Are you bipolar?” I giggled. “How did you go from pissed
to nonchalant?”
“Keisha, what’s the damn plan?” she said with a grin on
her face.
“I’m rolling with whatever you suggest.”
“Hold up, that’s your man. I’ll follow along with your
ideas!” she said bouncing her unlit cigarette in my face.
I did not feel like thinking of ideas, because I already
secretly started the mission. I said the first thing that came to
mind. “I say we stalk him; rent a car with tinted windows and
follow his ass around.” She lit her cigarette, then turned to me
and whispered with a grin on her face, “Let the fun begin.”
Throughout our relationship trials, I was never so ready to
catch him red handed. I always hoped for the best and
prepared for the worst. With all the hype about catching
Randy, I glanced at my phone and noticed the time. Randy
expected me home at a certain time and I wanted him to show
me the same respect. I was throwing in the towel and taking
my ass home.
“Well Zan, I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to get our
drinks, but it’s late and I know Randy is livid right about now.
He called my phone back to back; it’s on vibrate. So, I didn’t
hear it.”
“It’s only eight thirty,” Zan whined. “What about my gas
money you promised?”
“Girl I got to get home to my man and this argument we’re
about to have. I’ll give you the money tomorrow.”
“Your man,” she said, pissed because I was ending the
night without giving her a free drink and gas money. “Make
up your mind, either he’s your man or a cheater that you
won’t leave,” she said, being bitter.
“See, that’s the main reason why I don’t like to tell you my
damn business. Please drive me home,” I said, pissed.
I already knew what is in store for me when I got home.
My stomach had butterflies from dreading it. I didn’t want
Zan to notice I really wasn’t ready to go home, so I kept a
happy look on my face. She was scanning me up and down
like TSA at the airport.
“Okay, Okay. I’ll take you home under one condition,” she
said.
Zan always tried to hustle me out of something; the nerve
of her giving me an ultimatum!
“What condition, Zan?” I said, giving her the side eye.
“Buy me another soft pack of cigarettes and a Mountain
Dew soda.”
“Hell no, Take me home now Zan!”
“Fine!” she said with an attitude. “See if I come to your
rescue the next time you and that man of yours get into a
fight.”
“You need to stop smoking anyway,” I said, ignoring her
last comment about Randy.
“Look, I don’t need you or anybody else giving me a speech
about smoking. Please keep your comments to yourself,” She
said snippy. “Let me hurry and get you home so you can get
out of my car.”
I knew how to get under her skin, telling her about her
smoking problems always worked. This was going to be a long
ride home; once she was upset, there was no turning back .

After driving the long route home, we pulled into the
driveway and to my surprise every light was on in the house.
Randy was always complaining about the goddamn electric
bill, so this was an indication he must be mighty pissed at me.

“I’m so sick of this shit,” I muttered.
“Dang Keisha, Randy is waiting on you girl,” she giggled.
“I doubt it,” I said, unpersuasively. “He always has on every

Even though I knew the truth, I would be damned if I’d let
Zan know that Randy was actually sitting up waiting on my
ass. That was something else to add to her list to rub in my
face.

“Call me tomorrow, Zan.”
“I guess I’ll call you,” she said looking away from me.
“You’re acting funny?”
“Bye, Keisha.”
“Bye,” I replied getting out of the car.
The closer
I got
to the door, the more
my stomach

cramped. I was not in the mood for Randy and all of his
drama. I put the key in the front door lock and before I could
twist the doorknob, the door flew open.
“Do you know what time it is?” He asked in rage, standing

in the doorway shirtless.
“Yep. I sure do,” I said, wishing I stayed out longer to avoid
this argument.
“Oh, you think it’s a game, Keisha? Huh?” he said,
blocking me from coming into the house.
“No Randy. Look, I’m tired and all I want to do is shower
and go to bed. I have a busy work week coming up.”
“Tired and shower?” he asked shadily. “Why are you so
tired? Better yet, why do you want to take a shower this time
of night? Any other day, you take your ass straight to bed.”
“What’s up with the interrogation Randy?” I asked,
shoving him out of my way.
“You think I’m stupid or something,” he yelled, walking in
behind me and slamming the door.
“Yeah, that’s what I think,” I shouted, turning towards him.
“You are stupid, insecure, and jealous!”
“Why are you even here?” he asked, frowning.
“I ask myself that question every day!”
We were yelling and screaming at each other as if we
were strangers. I never saw Randy this upset. He was acting
weirder than usual and it was freaking me out!
“Come here,” he snatched my arm, bringing us face to face.
He was breathing so hard and sweat dripped off his body like
a faucet running.
“Keisha, I’m tired of the fighting; now either we’re going
to have to trust each other or leave each other.”
I did not get it. He was the one who was yelling at me
because I came home an hour later than I said. Then he had
the audacity to say, we need to trust each other? I was
confused.
“I think we should….”
Before I could finish what I was about to say, he grabbed
my face and started passionately kissing me; shoving his
tongue down my throat. For the first time in a long time, he
kissed me. I tried pushing away but his lips on mine felt so
damn good. Randy and I argued so much, the affection was
dead. It felt so good to feel him passionately touching me.
“Baby, I’m sorry,” he whispered, gripping my ass.
“I’m sorry too.”
We were kissing and caressing each other’s bodies like
wild animals.
He slowly unbuttoned my shirt, looking me in the eye. He
slipped my bra off, leaving my perky breast bouncing in front
of him. His soft lips aggressively tugged and pinched my
nipples. I moaned, rubbing the back of his head, “Randy, I love
you baby.”
He spoke softly in my ear, “I want to make love to you
tonight baby.”
I started kissing his neck, making my way down his chest
to his navel. He slid his fingers through my hair, locking them,
pushing my head down further.
“Make me feel good tonight baby,” he whispered, looking
down at me.
I seductively looked into his eyes, while unbuttoning his
pants, pulling them down slowly to his knees. As soon as his
drawers dropped, the aroma of musk hit my nose.
“Randy,” I screamed, interrupting the mood. “Go take a
damn bath and shave that nappy ass pubic hair! It smells
musty and I don’t want that shit scratching my face.”
He tilted his head to the side and frowned, “What?”
“You heard me loud and clear,” I pouted.
“Are you serious, right now, Keisha?”
“Yep.”
He pulled his pants up with force and headed towards the
shower.
“You’d fuck up a wet dreamed,” he mumbled.
“What was that?”
“Nothing, I’m going to take a shower.” He barged through
the bathroom door, slamming shit around, mumbling under
his breath. “Never get any pussy!” He knew not to say it loud
enough for me to hear. The end results would be no pussy
tonight.
While Randy showered, I figured since we are in the sex
mood, I’d spice it up a bit and put on some lingerie. I heard
him turning off the shower after ten seconds. “I know he
didn’t shower that quick,” I muttered.
I hurried and slipped into my black shear gown with
nothing underneath.
I lit a couple of candles, turned some slow music on, and
waited.
“Hey,” he said seductively standing in the doorway naked
and shaved.
“What did you do? Shave and wiped that area only?” I
asked, puckering my brow.
“Yeah,” he said, smiling widely, showing all thirty-two
teeth.
Noticing his efforts to try to make things better, I started
feeling a little guilty about my plans to catch him cheating on
me. I wanted to try and camouflaged my sadness, so I knelt on
the bed, making sure he saw my lingerie.
“Make love to me,” I said softly. I slowly laid on my back,
closed my eyes and waited for his lips to touch my body.
I lay in that position for at least ten seconds and all of a
sudden, I felt the mattress jiggle as he plopped on the bed. I
cracked my eyes and glanced over at him. He was lying on his
back with both hands behind his head. He crossed his feet,
and then started humping in the air.
“Unbelievable. You want me to perform oral sex on you?” I
asked, giving him the side eye. I was furious.
He inhale and exhaled before saying, “Just for a little
while, baby,” he was smiling with his eyes closed.
I grabbed my pillow and lay on my side with my back
turned to him. “Goodnight, Randy.”
“Baby, please. What did I do now?”
“It’s not what you did, it’s what you never do,” I said
angrily. “Do not touch me, and this conversation is over.”
This was not the first night that ended without sex and
probably not the last. He had the audacity to want oral sex,
instead of making this a romantic night and making love to
me. I came to the conclusion that the passion was gone and I
wasted my good lingerie.
“Baby…”
“What Randy?” I said, aggravated.
“I’m sorry, that I hurt you and I’m sorry that I’m not the
man you needed me to be,” he whispered in my ear, caressing
my breast. “I promise you, I’m going to do whatever it takes to
make you happy. I miss us.”
I heard this same speech before, which always led to an
argument. All the shit we went through and all the rumors
would likely get rehashed. I was not falling for this tonight.
However, I was definitely wondering what he meant by saying
he was sorry that he hurt me. There were always been rumors
about him cheating, but I never actually proved it to be true. I
was not going to ask. I wanted to leave it alone for tonight
otherwise I’d never get any sleep. That question would
absolutely turn into a fight. His apology made me feel even
guiltier about this plot to catch him cheating.
I crept out of bed so I could text Kayla. I wanted to tell her
never mind about the search for the numbers. I did not want
Randy to see what I was up to, so I pretended I had to pee.
“I hope you flushed the toilet and didn’t leave all that
pubic hair floating in the bowl,” I said.
The only response I got was a loud snore. He was lying on
his back casket-ready; all I had to do was slide his body into a
coffin.
“Thank goodness he’s asleep,” I muttered.
I grabbed my phone and noticed I had two missed calls
and a text message from Kayla. Damn she fast! I know I’m
going to regret this … I thought, but I must read it.
I opened the message:

Hey girl, the number was a pay-as-you-go phone, so I
couldn’t get a name, but here is the number 777-2500 and
unfortunately, it’s disconnected.

“Keisha,” Randy yelled, startling me. He was shouting my
name as if he woke up from a bad dream.
“I’m in the bathroom! Stop all that damn yelling, shit.”
“Are you naked woman?” he said, seductively.
I flushed the toilet, so he’d think I was actually using it. I
could not help but wonder how in the hell he went from
snoring to wide awake.
“Randy, please go to sleep,” I said as I entered the room. I
was irritated from the text and took my frustration out on
him. “Okay, but don’t forget about my job’s family-day
tomorrow at two o’clock. Please try to make it.”
“Family-day?” I said, climbing into bed. He’d lost his damn
mind if he thought I was interested in that bullshit.
“Before you start tripping, I forgot about it myself,” he said,
lying through his teeth. I couldn’t remember the last time I
went to his job, let alone a family-day. He never invited
me to anything they had at his job. He always complained
about how negative his coworkers were and how he hated
the fact that it was mandatory for him to be there.
Randy never introduced me to any of his coworkers. He
said that they were messy and jealous of him. He only
introduced me to his select friends, which were all men.
He tried so hard to convince me that the company picnic
was ghetto and the food was nasty with flies everywhere.
He knew I was a finicky eater, so he took advantage of that
to spoil my appetite, resulting in me not going.
“I’ll try to make it,” I said slurring my speech.
“What do you mean, you’ll try?”
“I told you last week that I have interviews in the morning,
possibly all week depending on the outcome. Did you forget?”
“No. I didn’t forget,” he said, rubbing my body. “I thought
you were getting off early.”
“I was but I have other priorities and your family-day was
not one of them,” I said, pissed because he laid this last minute
shit on me. He did not care about my plans; in fact, he never
asked if I have any.
“Dang, baby your body is so warm,” he said, provocatively,
caressing me from behind. I knew exactly where he was going
with this. I ignored him, turned my lamp off and lay on my
side.
“Keisha, can I put it in, just the tip?”
“Randy, go to sleep!” I said, looking over my shoulder at
him. “I have to be at work at seven o’clock in the morning and
here it is almost one in the morning!”
All he wanted to do was fuck me uninterestedly like a
squirrel on crack. All the arguing and irrational thoughts of
him cheating overpowered my desire to make love with him.
He reached over me and switched the lamp back on, then
he asked, “What if I just smell it?”
I snapped and swung the covers up over me and said,
“Goodnight, Randy.”
“Well damn” he said, puckering his brow. “Good night to
you to and I love you.”
I did not respond. I pulled my bedding high over my head
and wiggled into a comfortable position.
“Damn. Can I get a response?” he said, hovering over me.
I was annoyed and was ready for him to go to sleep and
leave me alone.
“Love you too, now go to sleep.”