Best Friends Through Eternity (18 page)

I
blink a few times, clearing my eyes of the excess liquid. I inhale deeply and make out the white snow. Strangely, it feels hot against my face. I roll to my feet and stand up.

“You’re back.” It’s Kim’s voice. My sister. The sun glows around her silhouette.

I blink again and realize the snow is actually sand. No boots on my feet anymore. I wiggle my toes, and the hot sugary texture feels nice. Of course, this all means that my real body is lying on that hospital bed. “For a little while back there, I thought I could beat death,” I tell her, discouraged.

“You did a great thing back there.” Kim smiles at me. She seems a lot happier than the previous two times I saw her. “You didn’t owe that witch anything.”

I nod. “Vanessa is easy to hate. But I saw her eyes and felt sorry, too, you know?”

“You care about people more.” Kim’s voice sounds warmer than before.

“Did I save her?” I ask.

“From the train, yes.” Kim tilts her head, and I see her bottom lip fold.

“Are you saying Vanessa is just going to commit suicide some other time, when I’m not around?” I ask.

“I can’t tell the future,” Kim says. “But she’s in the hospital with you. She’ll get psychiatric counseling. Mrs. Norr knows about her problems with her mother. She has a way better chance than I did with the
E. coli.
” Kim’s smile droops.

“Oh, Kimmee, I would have given anything to save you.”

Her head bows so that her chin touches her chest.

“If they had let me, I would have given you my kidney. I would have gone to India to do it. You know I would have.”

“Yes, but you don’t get that choice right now.” Her voice sounds sad and tired.

I reach out and hug her. Solid flesh, exactly like my own. Her hair on the back of my arm feels silky, her back bony. She is beautiful, though. Am I that beautiful? Uncle Jack and Aunt Bev think so. Max, too.

She hugs me tightly.

I see her tears and feel my own.

“You don’t want to be with me, do you?” she asks gently.

“Why? What is it, Kim? Is Mom never going to let me go? Do you have to go on without me?”

Kim shrugs.

“I told Mom and Dad I wanted them to give away my organs. If I’m brain-dead, they should be taking those away soon.”

Saying nothing, Kim turns and walks toward the ocean.

“What more can I do?” I feel her sorrow, heavy like an anchor. She has been lonely, just like me. For seven years she has missed me, too.

She beckons with her hand to follow.

I walk slowly after her, into the icy water that stings with salt.

“See?” she says as she moves her fingers in the water.

I look down and feel myself drifting and drifting.

W
hen I can focus again, I see four beige cinderblock walls around me.
Where am I?

Ahead of me I see my mother sitting hunched over a body on a bed, holding a hand, my hand, and talking. “You listen to me. You need to wake up. You’re too young to die. There’s no reason for this.”

“I’m with Kimberly now,” I say. “I’m with my sister. Let me go. Give away my kidney.” My vision of the room fades and I see Kim.

“Sis?” She holds out her hand. “Come with me. Let’s go exploring.” She smiles, showing those perfect straight teeth I had to wear braces for three years to achieve.

I reach out. But then I hear my mother start to cry. Her pain tears at my heart. I want to do just about anything to comfort her.

“Stop being so stubborn!” I yell at Mom, and the vision
of Kim fades to that hospital room again. “I’m dead. We didn’t even try to save Kim. Let’s save somebody else at least!”

Mom sobs harder. I move forward and wrap my arms around her shoulders. “I love you, Mom,” I whisper. “I wish I had been born to you, wish I looked like you. Wish I could grow up to be like you.”

“If you can hear me, squeeze my hand,” she begs.

“It’s no use, Mom. I’m not in there.” I try to pick up her other hand and squeeze it. Nothing.

“All right. You can’t squeeze my hand. At least blink your eyes. If you can blink your eyes, you can come back to me. You just have to want to come back to me, Paige. Paige, try!”

She makes me want to come back more than anything else. I would hold Max’s hand again, enjoy his kisses, watch him grow tall and handsome. I would score more volleyball serves, I would graduate from high school, I would help Jazz reason with her parents so we could study biology in university together. Eat every kind of food in the world. Visit China, maybe even India.

Something starts to pull at me, like some kind of vacuum cleaner inside of me tugging me this way and that. “My best friend, my sister!” I say.

“Go ahead, blink your eyes if you want to,” Kim says sadly from somewhere behind me.

My eyes feel heavy just then, but I struggle. “Kimmee?”

She comes back into focus.

I throw my arms around her. “I love you, Kim, and I’d give anything to have you back in my life.”

“Please, Paige.” Mom’s voice.

“But you don’t have life if you choose to be with me,” Kim interrupts. Her voice drops. “You love your mother more.”

“In an entirely different way.” I shrug my shoulders. “I’m so sorry, Kim. I feel more connected to her.”

Kim’s head hangs down. “But we’re blood related. Our DNA is exactly the same.”

“Will you always be here for me, no matter when I die?” I ask.

She places one hand over her heart and reaches the other hand out to mine. I place my hand over it.

“Blink your eyes, Paige,” my mother calls. “You can do it.”

I let my lids drop and squeeze tightly. “Good-bye, Kim.” I feel everything inside me get sucked away. Suddenly, I can move nothing except my eyelids. I blink them again.

“Good-bye, Paige.” I hear a voice as if from the end of a long passageway in my head.

“Paige, you did it!” Mom yells.

Every muscle, every bone, every pore pulses with pain.

“Doctor, nurse! Come quickly, she’s back! My baby came back to me!”

I try to smile, but don’t think my lips lift.
See you later, Kim!
I send that thought back to my sister.

Another time, another place, I won’t be able to sidestep death, and then I will be with her again. Will we both be
young with smooth skin and long hair? Or will we have gray hair and wrinkles? Will someone be able to use the parts of my body? Who knows? It will depend on the choices I make and the hand fate deals me. For now, I take a deep, labored breath. I need to work on getting better so that I can live out the rest of my life.

THE END