Best Friends With the Billionaire (The Rochesters) (14 page)

They shifted and gazed in opposite directions, tension palpable in the air.

“What about Russell?” Kirk asked after a while. “You over him now?”

It took Cassie a while to figure out what he was talking about. “Yeah, I think so,” she said, drawing circles in the dirt with her foot.

“You don’t sound too sure.”

He had no qualms over interrogating her love life. Why couldn’t she ask him the same questions?

“Relationships aren’t always cut and dried. You were one of the lucky ones, Kirk. You fell in love with Alison, and she returned your feelings. Even though it was cut short, you had a happy marriage. Plenty of people don’t ever get to experience that in their entire life.”

Kirk suddenly went rigid, eyes narrowed on her, hands shoved into the pockets of his shorts. He didn’t say a word, and the impervious set of his mouth indicated he had no intention to.

Ordinarily she would’ve taken the hint and changed the subject, but not this time. Not after what had happened to them in the past forty-eight hours. It might just have been sex—glorious, earthy sex—but she had changed. Seeing the lust burning in his eyes, lust aimed solely at
her
, had helped her see herself in a new light. She might not be the love of his life, she might only be a passing fancy, but nothing could take away from the fact that she’d turned him on, aroused him, affected him. That little taste of power over him was fleeting but significant.

“What’s your secret, Kirk?” she asked. “Was it pure luck that you met Alison? Before her, you never kept a girlfriend for more than two months.”

He twisted his head away. “I don’t want to talk about Alison.”

Her heart shrank at the grim set of his profile, but something spurred her on, even if it hurt her as much as it did him. “Why not? I didn’t know Alison. What was it about her that made you fall in love with her?”

“Why do you want to know? Why now?” His eyes were hard as slate. “She’s dead. Can’t you let it rest?”

Cassie stepped back, jarred by his outburst. The barrier he’d thrown up was terrifying, but she couldn’t wilt at the first sign of opposition.

She drew in a breath, steadied her voice. “Your marriage was a big part of your life, and I don’t know anything about it. It’s only natural that I’m curious, but if you don’t want to talk about it, of course I’ll respect your wishes.”

She turned away, striving to be as dignified as possible, and began to walk back down the path. Moments later, quick footsteps sounded behind her.

“Cassie, wait up.” Kirk sounded irritated.

She paused, her skin clammy, shivering despite the sunshine pouring down.

“I didn’t mean to blow up like that.” He thrust his fingers through his hair, clearly agitated. “But I’m a private person. You know that. I don’t find it easy to talk about things like my marriage.”

The turmoil in his eyes was plain to her. She was beginning to regret forcing the issue. “Yes, I should know that by now. Guys don’t like talking about mushy stuff.
I
don’t like talking about mushy stuff. It’s just that”—she bit her lip—“I’m kinda envious of what you had with Alison.”

She swallowed, aware that this was the closest she’d ever come to declaring her feelings for him. The trees rustled in the breeze, and from below came the distant sound of people talking.

“You shouldn’t be envious.” Kirk squinted into the sun, his expression enigmatic. “It wasn’t all wine and roses.”

“That’s understandable.” She had to force the words past her aching throat. “Alison’s illness was terrible.”

He spun toward her, lips moving as if he meant to speak, but then he fell silent and just shook his head. His face was gaunt, and if she had to describe his expression, the first word that came to mind was regret.

The sound of approaching walkers grew louder, and a couple of figures appeared among the trees below them.

“We should head back.” Kirk hoisted the backpack over his shoulder.

They started down the track, exchanging nods with the group headed up when they crossed paths. As the path wound down the hill, the trees surrounded them again, and to Cassie the green gloom intensified her sudden melancholy. Being friends-with-benefits with Kirk was turning out to be a rollercoaster ride. One minute she was on a high from the sex and the special connection they had, the next she was plunged low, brought back to earth by the realization that whatever they had was just a pale shadow of what Kirk had shared with Alison.

Sooner or later it might be wiser to get off the rollercoaster completely, regardless of how wonderful the highs were.

…

Kirk couldn’t remember when last he’d blown off work to spend a day with a friend, and at first he was glad he’d done it. A trip to Yosemite was the perfect outing for Cassie, and the day had been going great until somehow the conversation turned to Alison. After that, nothing could revive their earlier exuberant mood, though they both tried.

They were in the helicopter and not far from San Francisco. As they neared the city, the setting sun bathed the landscape in liquid gold, the buildings shimmering against the blues and crimsons of the sea and sky. Beside him, Cassie sighed. With her chin propped on her hand and a faraway look in her eyes, she seemed wistful. What was she thinking about?

A sunset helicopter ride over San Francisco—one of those schmaltzy things dewy-eyed couples did, or tourists who’d listened to Tony Bennett too much. Did Cassie consider this romantic? He supposed she did.

Once more he wondered if he should have told her the truth about Alison back at the lookout when she’d asked. Cassie was a loyal friend; if he confided in her, she wouldn’t spread the story around. Alison had begged him to maintain the façade, but that was only for her family and friends. Cassie wasn’t one of them. But deep down he knew Alison would hate Cassie knowing the truth because Alison had always looked down on Cassie.

His fingers dug into his knee. Part of him longed to tell her—the burden of secrecy was more onerous than he’d realized—but another part shied away. Revealing his true feelings made him vulnerable. He’d been in the habit of masking his feelings for so long that he couldn’t even imagine himself laying his soul bare to another person, even to one as empathetic as Cassie.

One day he might bring himself to confide in her, but that was in the distant future. Still, his reticence had stung her and spoiled the mood of the day. He wanted to make it up to her.

He glanced down at her free hand resting lightly on her leg. Should he shift up to her and hold her hand? No, friends with benefits didn’t hold hands. That would cross the line into romantic territory. They weren’t romantically involved. They loved each other, sure, but they weren’t
in
love. That was the big difference, the line that separated what was fun, uncomplicated, and easy from what was dark, complex, and difficult.

Though he’d like to hold hands with Cassie, he had to make sure he remained on this side of the line.

“Not bad, huh?” he said, pointing to the golden-hued buildings.

She glanced at him with a faint smile. “You know what’s amazing? Down on the streets there, thousands of people are scurrying about completely oblivious to all this beauty. But from up here it’s…it’s like El Dorado. The lost city of gold.”

And now he really did want to hold her hand. He curled his fingers into a fist to prevent any impulsive move.

“You’re right,” he said. “I fly in the company helicopter all the time, and usually I’m buried in paperwork or on the phone. I don’t often see El Dorado.” Except with her.

She gave him a soft smile, all trace of annoyance gone. That was one of the things he liked most about Cassie—she didn’t sulk or hold a grudge.

“Thanks for taking me to Yosemite today,” she said. “It was a wonderful trip.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” The molten orb of the sun was almost touching the horizon. Soon it would disappear, and night would roll on, but he didn’t want this day to end. “What do you want to do tonight? Want to go have dinner in Chinatown again?”

“Sounds great. I’ll need to take a shower when we get home, though. I feel all sticky.”

I’ll give you a hand or two in the shower
. He was about to verbalize his thoughts when he remembered the pilot. He wasn’t sure the pilot had muted his headset to give them privacy.

“There’s no rush,” he replied. “We’ve got plenty of time.”

Plenty of time to soap Cassie up in the shower, then take her up against the tiled wall. He could almost feel himself sheathed in her tight heat, with one of her legs wrapped around his hip and her firm ass cupped in his hands. With her suppleness and height, he could stand in the shower and ride her for ages. His erection pressed against the zipper of his shorts. Damn, how long would it take in rush hour traffic to get Cassie back to his house?

The helicopter landed and they transferred into Kirk’s car. The roads were clogged, and all the lights seemed to conspire against them, but eventually they were in his neighborhood, and the traffic thinned out. As they cruised down his street, the setting sun slanted through the windscreen, causing him to slow down.

Cassie sat up and peered ahead, shading her eyes against the glare. “There’s someone waiting outside your house.” She tensed and leaned forward. “It looks like… Oh my God, it can’t be!”

He glanced at her, senses alert. “Who is it?”

“I—I—” She clutched her knees. “I can’t believe it.”

Kirk squinted at the tall silhouette standing at his front gate. A man, a big, burly guy dressed in khakis and polo shirt, peered in their direction as they drew up to the driveway. Kirk had never seen him before.

He’d barely brought the car to a halt before Cassie jumped out. She hurried toward the stranger, her shoulders hunched up, her movements tense and jerky. Uneasiness stirred in Kirk as he followed her. Something warned him he wasn’t about to enjoy meeting this stranger.

The big guy’s face lit up as Cassie neared him. “Hey there, sweets! Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?”

“Russell.” Cassie sounded faint with shock. “What—what on earth are you doing here?”

Russell. Holy shit
. Kirk came to a screeching halt. Cassie was talking to the guy, but Kirk couldn’t hear anything for the sudden roaring in his head. Russell. Cassie’s ex-boyfriend. The one she’d rebounded from straight into Kirk’s arms. Russell, here in San Francisco. What the hell was he doing here and what did he want?

Then Russell placed his hands on Cassie’s rigid shoulders, smiling at her like she was the best thing since sliced bread, and a shard of ice jagged its way down Kirk’s spine. The ex-boyfriend was here to win Cassie back, and Cassie wasn’t exactly beating him off with a stick.

Chapter Eight

“Russell, I can’t explain now, but I need you to do something right away,” Cassie muttered as her friend tried to hug her and looked perplexed when she warded him off. “You’re my ex-boyfriend, and we broke up about a month before I came here. Okay?”

Russell’s eyebrows shot up, and her stomach rolled as further waves of shock crashed over her. “Dumbfounded” didn’t adequately describe the feeling of stricken nausea that had gripped her as soon as she recognized the strapping, sandy-haired man waiting outside Kirk’s house. Russell couldn’t have picked a worse time to surprise her.

Without turning, she could sense Kirk’s penetrating gaze honed in on them, and despite the jumbled confusion in her brain, one thought stood firm—Kirk mustn’t know the truth about Russell. She would disintegrate with embarrassment if she had to fess up that Russell had never been nor ever would be her boyfriend. She couldn’t face Kirk if he realized she’d made up the story simply to put on a brave face, to show him she wasn’t pathetic. If the truth came out, how much more pathetic would she appear?

But she only had a few seconds to get Russell on board. She gripped his arms in rising panic. “Russell? Got it?”

“Er, yeah. Whatever you say.” He let his hands drop away from her shoulders.

Cassie’s nape prickled as Kirk walked up behind her. Hastily composing her expression, she spun around to find his shrewd eyes focused on her.

“Cassie? How about introducing me?” he said, his voice and face completely neutral.

She cleared her throat. “Uh, yeah, sure. Russell, this is my old college buddy, Kirk Rochester. Kirk, Russell Stewart, my—um—my friend from Sydney.”

Kirk transferred his attention to Russell and shook his hand. “Russell.”

“G’day.”

For a couple of seconds it seemed the two men were sizing each other up. They were similar in height, and though Russell was bulkier, Kirk had a leaner, meaner air. If they ever fought, they’d be evenly matched. What was she thinking? Of course Kirk and Russell would never come to blows.

“You must be the Russell that Cassie’s told me so much about,” Kirk said, his deadpan expression giving nothing away.

Russell shot Cassie a brief, uncertain glance before answering, “Uh, yeah, if by that you mean the guy she’s been, er, dating.”

“Why didn’t you call and tell me you were coming?” Cassie asked Russell. God, her voice was so squeaky she was sure Kirk could tell she was lying about something.

Russell rocked back and forth on his heels. “I wanted to surprise you,” he said slowly, as if feeling his way through the situation.

“You got that right.” Cassie folded her arms, shuffled her feet, chewed her lip. The tension was making her nauseous. What on earth should she do now? Should she send Russell off and pretend to Kirk that nothing was awry? Should she invite Russell in? But no, she couldn’t do that. He was her ex, and she was supposed to still be getting over him, and besides, this was Kirk’s house.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think it through.” Russell’s ears were turning pink. Poor guy. She’d really put him on the spot. “Uh, I should probably go. Didn’t mean to ruin your plans. Maybe we can chat some other time.”

She had to talk to him as soon as possible. She had to get him on board with the situation before she could face Kirk.

“Actually, I think we should go somewhere and talk right now,” she said before turning to Kirk. “I shouldn’t be too long. We—we can still go out for dinner later.”

But Kirk shook his head resolutely. “No, that’s not necessary. You go and talk with Russell for as long as you want.”

If only Kirk wasn’t such an expert at masking his feelings. His face was so neutral, his words gave nothing away. She had no way of knowing what he felt about Russell’s sudden appearance. Was he annoyed or angry? Maybe even jealous? She had no way of telling. Maybe he was only irritated at his dinner plans being disrupted.

She turned back to Russell. “Okay, let’s go for a walk.”

Russell gave Kirk a nod of acknowledgment before falling into step beside Cassie. As they walked down the sidewalk, her insides knotted with misgiving and apprehension. Her private day with Kirk had taken a screeching detour. After that magical sunset helicopter ride, she’d been looking forward to a cozy dinner with Kirk, followed by another hedonistic night in his bed. But all her plans were in tatters.

Russell! Her dear, wonderful friend. How could he have screwed up her day so completely? And if the sick feeling in her stomach was anything to go by, more than just the day was ruined.

…

Kirk glared after Cassie and Russell’s retreating figures until his eyeballs ached. Several inches separated the pair, but he’d feel better if it were at least a foot. Why was Cassie even going off with the guy? Why hadn’t she told him they were through and they had nothing to discuss? Could it be she still harbored feelings for her ex?

The tightness in Kirk’s ribs intensified. He swiped his hand over the back of his clammy neck. Holy crap. He wasn’t jealous of Cassie’s ex-boyfriend, was he? No, course not. He wasn’t happy that his plans for a shower and dinner with her had been disrupted, but that was all. He had no further claims on Cassie. As her friend, he was merely concerned for her. He didn’t want Russell coming over and messing with her head.

But Russell had flown all the way from Sydney just to see Cassie. That wasn’t a spur of the moment thing. That indicated serious intent, desperation even. Which meant the man wasn’t going to be easily deterred. Damn it all.

Kirk swung away and marched into his house, determined not to waste any more time brooding over Russell and Cassie. But as he stripped off and stepped alone into his shower, he couldn’t help wondering how late she’d be. She would return, he thought. She wouldn’t stay out all night with her ex-boyfriend. Would she?

…

Cassie kicked a stone lying on the path. They were walking through a park filled with kids, parents, joggers, and dog walkers.

“I almost had a heart attack when I saw you,” she said to Russell. “Why didn’t you call first?”

“I did when I landed, but you didn’t pick up, so I sent you a text message. Several text messages. Didn’t you get them?”

“I left my cell phone behind today on purpose.” Cassie groaned. “I didn’t want any interruptions…” She trailed off, sighing at the memory of Kirk’s impassive face. “How did you know where to find me, anyway?”

“I remembered your mom’s name and used directory assistance to get her number.”

Cassie frowned at that. “You spoke to my mom?”

“Yeah. I said I was a friend of yours and desperate to find you.”

“Desperate to find me? You surely didn’t fly all the way to San Francisco just to see me?”

“No.” Russell heaved a heavy sigh as he came to a halt. He stared down at his feet. “I was supposed to be here with Jason. A surprise romantic trip for his birthday. But instead he dumped me on Saturday.”

She gasped, instantly reaching for him as sympathy flooded her. “Oh, Russell.” She squeezed his arm. “I’m so sorry.”

He scraped a hand over his chin. “I decided to fly out here anyway. At least I’d be using up one of the tickets.”

“But I don’t understand. You and Jason always seemed so happy together.”

“Yes, we were good at maintaining appearances, but we weren’t always happy. In fact, at times we were fucking miserable.” Russell shook his head. “I was hoping this surprise trip might make a difference, but I guess nothing was going to save us.”

Cassie wrapped her arms around him and gave him a huge hug. He was such a stoic tough guy, but she knew deep down he was hurting.

Russell hugged her briefly before letting her go. “Enough of that or you’ll make me tear up, and one thing I’m not going to do is cry.” He looped his arm through hers and tugged her along the path. They passed the boot-campers and their yelling instructor before he said, “So what’s going on with you, sweets? Why are you pretending I’m your ex-boyfriend?”

She twisted her head away from him and sighed. “It’s a long story.”

“Let me guess. You’re trying to make that Kirk dude jealous.”

“I’m not!” Cassie gasped, then gave him a rueful smile. “Well, okay, that might have something to do with it.”

“That has everything to do with it, judging by the way you were acting in front of him. I’ve never seen you so antsy.”

“I was afraid you’d blow my story sky high. I didn’t want to look like a fool in front of him.”

Russell patted her hand lying in the crook of his arm. “Don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me. I
am
an ex-boyfriend, so I might as well be yours.”

“Thanks. I knew you wouldn’t mind.”

“Is it working, then? Have you got anywhere with him?”

“Uh, well…” Her cheeks warmed as she recalled all the scorching hot sex she’d had with Kirk in the past few days. “I’m, um, making progress.”

Russell nudged her with his elbow. “Huh, so he’s good in bed, is he?”

She grew even warmer. “Yeah, he’s fantastic.” She sighed.

“Mm, thought as much. Wouldn’t mind sharing his bed myself.”

“Russell!” She glared at him in outrage.

He wiggled his eyebrows in mock innocence. “What? I saw him, and he’s hot.”

“He doesn’t bat for your team.”

“I’m only teasing you, sweets. Besides, I picked up some serious ‘back off from my woman’ vibes from him. I think he might be into you in a big way.”

“You think?” She couldn’t suppress hope flickering up.

He came to a halt and looked at her. “You’re really serious about him, aren’t you?”

Cassie hesitated, reluctant to speak the truth out loud for fear of jinxing herself. She’d never told anyone how she really felt about Kirk, and even though Russell would never blab, still she didn’t want to tell him. She didn’t know where she stood with Kirk. Their friends-with-benefits relationship couldn’t last forever, yet the possibility that she might come to mean more to him seemed as remote as ever. She loved how he cared for her—going to her mom’s dinner, protecting her from strangers in bars, spoiling her with surprise trips—how he treated her as an equal, how his eyes heated as he made love to her. This past week with Kirk had shown her what could be possible and left her yearning for something more, something real and permanent. But her dream was so fragile. Uttering it aloud would only make her more vulnerable.

“Oh, I don’t know.” She made a show of brushing her hands. “I’m just having fun while I’m here. Making hay while the sun shines.”

“So how do you want me to play it from here? Will I try to woo you back? I think I’d be good at that.”

Cassie shook her head doubtfully. “I’m not sure if I can keep up the deception in front of Kirk. Wouldn’t it be better if I told him I’d sent you away and told you never to come back?”

“But then he wouldn’t be jealous of me anymore. And besides, I want to see you while I’m here. You can tell him you’re being kind to me, letting me down gently, that’s why we have to meet now and again.”

She owed him for going along with her story in front of Kirk. And he’d recently been dumped by his no-good boyfriend, so he needed her support.

“Fine.” She nodded. “We’ll do that. How long are you in San Francisco?”

“Only a week. I have a few old friends to look up, so you don’t have to worry about me being on my lonesome. I’ll give you a call tomorrow or the day after, and we can meet up somewhere.”

They turned and began to retrace their steps. Cassie’s stomach started to knot again as she wondered what would happen when she returned to Kirk’s house.

…

Cassie’s sneakers squeaked on the floorboards as she entered the house, sounding unnaturally shrill in the silence. She paused, trying to regulate her breathing, wishing she could wander in with her usual casualness. Where was Kirk? She and Russell had been out for about forty minutes. Could Kirk have gone out by himself?

She grimaced before a slight clicking noise from Kirk’s study down the hall caught her attention. She peeked through the half-open door, and her heart jumped a little when she saw Kirk sitting at his desk and frowning at the computer monitor in front of him.

“Uh, hi,” she said, feeling gauche.

“You’re back,” he stated in a matter-of-fact way that didn’t give an inkling what he thought.

Kirk had showered and changed. His thick, short hair gleamed like sable fur, dark stubble peppered his jaw, and a red checked shirt hugged his shoulders, the rolled up sleeves revealing his muscular forearms. His rugged cleanliness made her even more aware of her sweaty, disheveled, sun-touched appearance. Her confidence shrank like a crab retreating into its shell.

“You’re working.” She backed away a few steps. “Sorry for disturbing you—”

“Wait.”

As Kirk rose to his feet, she caught a whiff of soap from him. The same lemony soap he’d used to lather her up in the shower yesterday. Longing stung her, sharper than she expected.

Kirk rested his hands on hips, his expression ever so slightly forbidding. “Aren’t you going to fill me in on Russell?”

They were supposed to be friends, equals, but right now she felt anything but equal to Kirk. There was something hard and impenetrable about him that made her flinch inside.

She clasped her hands together, feeling the first stirrings of stage fright. Could she pull this off? “We had a talk. I didn’t realize he was that, um, hurt by our break up. He isn’t one to show his emotions usually.”

“So he flew all the way here to ask you for a second chance?”

The note in his voice sparked a little rancor in her. “Yes.” She lifted her chin. “Is that so difficult to imagine?”

The
V
between his eyebrows deepened. “Are you going to give him a second chance?”

She hesitated, wishing she could see past his barriers, longing for a hint of possessiveness from him.

“What do you think?” she asked.

“Me? Didn’t realize I had a say in this.”

Her heart sank. Kirk wasn’t about to put his foot down and declare that Russell could go to hell because she was his. The heart-stopping kisses, the passionate embraces, the exhilarating sex—none of that had changed his mind. She was still good ol’ Cassie, a great friend with some nice benefits, but no one special enough to make him want to stake a claim.