Best of My Love (Fool's Gold) (10 page)

“Always graceful,” he teased as he wiped the snow from her side.

She laughed. “I know. Do me a favor, please. Tell everyone I was brilliant. It will make me feel better.”

She swayed as she spoke, as if she was about to fall again. He reached out to grab hold of her. She put her hands on his chest.

The pose was an odd combination of intimate and not. The layers of clothing and outerwear, not to mention the dogsled strapped to his body, kept them physically apart. Yet there was a part of him that felt he was touching her everywhere. Feeling her soft skin and kissing her as he...

He held in a groan and deliberately took a step back. He
wasn’t
touching her—that was just wishful thinking on his part. Instead he was left hard and hungry for something he not only couldn’t have, but something he knew he
shouldn’t
even be wanting. Shelby was his friend. He wanted her in his life, and friendship was the way to make sure that happened. Besides, they had a deal and he didn’t go back on his word.

He supposed he could find someone else and scratch the itch, but that didn’t seem right. Not only would it be disrespectful to Shelby, it would mean moving backward for him. He was a grown-up. He could deal with a few urges.

“You ready to try again?” he asked.

“Always.” She straightened her body and began to move forward. “Tell me when this gets fun.”

“Promise.”

She glanced at him. “People really pay for you to take them out and do this all day? Exercise in the snow? Because they could just get a gym membership.”

“Where’s the thrill of that? Out here, we’re in nature.”

“Cold nature.”

“Stop,” he told her.

She obliged.

He pointed up at the tall trees around them. The dusting of snow contrasted with the green needles and brown bark. The sky was so blue it almost hurt to look at it.

“You don’t get this kind of view in a gym.”

She nodded. “I’ll give you that, but you also don’t get frostbite.”

“I thought girls were supposed to be the romantic ones,” he complained and they started moving again.

“That’s a myth started by women to make men feel strong. At the heart of it, we’re actually the ruthless gender.”

She spoke cheerfully. He laughed.

“No one believes you,” he told her.

“It was worth a try.” She paused to catch her breath. “My friend Madeline wants to invite us to dinner. She and Jonny are having a few couples over.” She held up one glove-clad hand. The pole dangled from her wrist. “I know what you’re thinking. We’re not actually a couple. I’ve tried to tell her a bunch of times, but she doesn’t believe me. Or she won’t. I’m not sure it matters. So do you want to go?”

She was wearing sunglasses, so he couldn’t see her blue eyes, but he could imagine the combination of hopefulness and worry. Hope because she would want to have fun with her friends. Worry that he wouldn’t understand.

Without thinking—because if he’d been thinking, he wouldn’t have done it—he bent down and kissed her. The second his mouth touched hers, he knew he’d made a terrible mistake. He started to pull back only to realize how much he liked the feel of her lips against his. The softness. The slight chill from the outdoor temperature with a hint of warmth below.

Need and desire battled with good sense and in the end, good sense won. He straightened.

“Yes,” he said firmly, as if nothing had happened. “We’ll go to dinner.”

Shelby pulled off her glasses. Her eyes were wide and unblinking. “You just kissed me.”

He swore silently. “You noticed.”

“Hard not to.”

“It was an accident.”

“You slipped?”

“I wasn’t thinking.” He glanced at Charlie to make sure the dog was okay, then returned his attention to her. “It doesn’t have to mean anything. Think of it as an involuntary reaction. Like a sneeze.”

“I was being cute and you had to kiss me?”

“Something like that.” His mouth twisted. “I mean it, Shelby. It was a mistake. We’re doing something good here. I don’t want to screw that up. We still have several months left in our experiment. Let the kiss go.”

He knew she was thinking, but had no idea what. While he mostly regretted what had happened, part of him simply couldn’t. He’d needed to kiss her for a while and now he had.

“Okay,” she said at last. “It never happened.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” She slipped on her glasses and faced front. “Let’s get going. The sooner we get done spending a bunch of time in nature, the sooner I can get back to being warm.”

“There’s the spirit.”

Before he could say anything else, her cell phone rang. Shelby reached for her pocket.

“I’ll have to tell Kipling that the new towers are working great. I know they were put in for the search-and-rescue folks to have reception way out here. He’ll be so proud.” She glanced at the screen. “Speaking of my brother.” She pushed a button. “Hey, Kipling, we were just—”

Her body stiffened. “Now? Really? Okay. We’ll be right there.” She looked around. “We’re out cross-country skiing, but I’m sure Aidan knows a quick way back. We’ll see you at the hospital as soon as we can get there. Uh-huh. It’s going to be okay.”

A dozen disasters crossed Aidan’s mind, but he didn’t ask anything. Instead he waited until she’d hung up. She smiled at him.

“Destiny’s in labor. I have to get to the hospital. Not only to be there when she’s born, but because I’m taking Starr home with me. Tell me you know a shortcut.”

“Always. We’re about ten minutes from the car.”

She groaned. “Well, crap. You’ve been skiing me in circles.”

“In case you hurt yourself.”

“Always the planner. Okay, Mr. Mountain Guide. Get me back to civilization.”

* * *

S
HELBY
HELD
THE
perfect baby in her arms. The little girl was warm and tiny, with her eyes tightly closed. Everything about her was magical—the way her impossibly small starfish-like hands moved, the slight puckering of her exquisite rosebud mouth. If God was trying to send a message saying that Shelby needed to get on with her life, He was getting through loud and clear.

She wanted this. Wanted to be holding her own baby. She wanted tears filling her own eyes, the way they filled Destiny’s. She wanted her own husband looking at her the way Kipling looked at his wife. They were happy. No, not happy. That word was far too small for what they were obviously feeling.

“That baby looks good on you,” Aidan said with a smile.

She laughed softly. “I can’t believe you said that. You’re not freaked out by this whole thing?”

“Why would I be? Not my baby.” He raised one shoulder. “Although I have to admit, it’s more tempting than I thought it would be.”

Shelby leaned toward him. “Want to hold her?”

Aidan backed up so fast, he nearly knocked over a chair. He held up both hands, as if surrendering. “No way. I’m not that guy.”

For a second, Shelby wanted to tell him he was exactly that guy. That he would be a great father. But she knew the thought of it terrified him. Talk about getting stuck. Still, a girl could dream.

She turned back to her sister-in-law. “She’s amazing. You’re so lucky.”

Destiny wiped away tears. “I know.” She smiled at Starr, her fifteen-year-old half sister. “You hanging in there?”

Starr nodded, even though she looked a little shell-shocked. It was one thing to know there was going to be a new baby in the house and another to actually see her an hour or so after she’d been born.

Shelby made a mental note to make sure she and her honorary niece talked that night. Starr would be staying with her the first couple of nights after the birth. Just to give the new parents time to settle in. Shelby wanted to use the time to make sure Starr was adjusting all right to the sudden change in circumstances. While Starr was excited to have a baby niece, a newborn would sure change things.

Kipling grinned at the teen. “You must have friends who can give advice on having a baby in the house.”

Starr smiled back. “Yes. They said to be gone when it’s time to change the poopy diapers.”

Later, after Kipling had dropped off Shelby and Starr at her place, Shelby led the teen into the guest room.

“You doing okay?” she asked. “For real?”

Starr sat on the bed. “It’s really strange. I knew Destiny was like having a baby. I mean how could you look at her and not know. But when she had Tonya, it was all so...”

“Unexpected?” Shelby offered. “Real?”

“Yeah.”

Shelby sat next to her and hugged the teen. “You know that the baby is going to get a lot of attention from everyone. Not just your sister and Kipling, but the whole town.”

Starr nodded. “I know. She’s small and cute.”

“With those big eyes. It can’t be helped. Just remember that none of that means you are loved any less. You’re an important part of this family. For a while it’s going to seem like everything is messed up and then it will get better.”

Starr leaned into her. “Thanks for looking out for me.”

“You’re my favorite niece.”

Starr laughed. “You have to stop saying that. Now you have two.”

“Oh, right. I didn’t think of that. Well, I’m going to say it for a while more and then I’ll just think it.” She kissed Starr’s forehead. “How about pizza for dinner?”

“I’d love that.”

“Me, too. Let’s go pick our toppings.”

Starr crossed to the kitchen drawer with the take-out menus and found the one for pizza.

“Pepperoni for sure,” she said.

“Of course. It wouldn’t be pizza without it. What else?”

Starr tilted her head. “You’re dating Aidan.”

The change in subject surprised Shelby. “We’re not dating. We’re friends.”

“But you’re together all the time and you’re not seeing any other guy. You like him. How is that not dating?”

“It’s hard to explain, I know, but we really are just friends.”

“That’s not what everyone is saying.”

Then everyone was wrong. But she didn’t say that, because the statements were starting to get repetitive. Instead she pointed to the menu.

“Extra cheese.”

Starr grinned. “Absolutely.”

CHAPTER NINE

T
HE
SWING
OF
the ax followed by the
thunk
of the blade sinking into wood was satisfying. The
crack
as the log split. Aidan bent down to grab the split pieces, then he tossed them into the growing pile by the side of the house.

The sun was out, the snow steadily melting as the temperature climbed into the fifties. He’d already hung his coat over the railing. In another half hour or so, he would be rolling up the sleeves of his shirt.

“You could help,” he called to his brother. Nick sat on the porch in one of the big chairs. Charlie was settled in the other man’s lap. Neither of them seem inclined to move.

Nick waved his bottle of beer. “You’ve got it covered, bro. I’d only be in the way.”

“You like watching me work.”

“I’ll admit it’s satisfying.” He rubbed Charlie’s ears. “What were you thinking with this dog?”

“You like Charlie.”

“I do.” Nick took a drink. “He’s not your type.”

“My type is changing. Besides, he’s a good guy.”

Despite his small size, Charlie was turning out to be a great little companion. He was easygoing with just enough quirks to be interesting. When he rode with Aidan in the truck, he not only wanted to be on Aidan’s lap, he wanted to drive. Or at least give directions. At home, he had an internal clock that rivaled anything NASA had developed. If his dinner was even a minute late, he was right there to nudge Aidan into the kitchen.

He enjoyed a good game of tug or ball, an afternoon on the sofa watching sports or going to the office. He did his business outside, waited politely for table scraps and protected the house with a fierce bark.

Nick continued to rub Charlie’s ears. “How many logs are you planning to split today?”

“I’m not sure. How many do you need?”

“Seeing as winter is about over, almost none. But they’ll keep for next year. You go on working through whatever your issues are.”

Aidan grabbed another log. “What makes you think I have issues?”

“You’re here, splitting logs. It’s the kind of thing a man does when he has something to think through.” Nick paused. “Shelby?”

“What? No. Why would I need to think anything about her?”

“Don’t get your panties in a bunch. I was just asking.”

Aidan ignored the panties comment. “Shelby and I are fine. We’re friends. I like it.”

“And her.”

Aidan drove the ax into the log and watched it crack in two. “If I didn’t like her, she’d be a lousy friend.”

“You know what I mean. You
like
her.”

“We’re not having sex,” Aidan said flatly. “If that’s what you’re implying. We can’t. If we have sex, we won’t be friends.”

“Interesting.” Nick put his beer on the floor and leaned back in his chair. “You’re saying lovers can’t be friends.”

“I’m saying it complicates everything. What Shelby and I are doing is different.” He wasn’t going to betray her trust by revealing why she wanted to see their project through, but his brother knew him well enough to guess at his issues. “It’s important. I want to change.”

“By not having sex? An interesting plan.”

Aidan sank the ax into a nearby log, then faced his brother and pulled off his gloves. He reached for his bottle of water.

“You’re missing the point. Sex is easy for me. Too easy. I want something more. Something of value.”

“Love?”

He wasn’t willing to go there. Love meant being stuck. But maybe something close.

“Real love,” Nick added quietly. “Not what Mom and Dad have.”

“Maybe.” Aidan knew his voice sounded doubtful.

“There
are
good ones out there, you know. Del and Maya, for one. All the guys in town. Most of our friends are married and they seem to be doing okay.”

“I don’t see you running down the aisle.”

Nick laughed. “I believe it’s the woman who walks down the aisle, bro. We stand and wait.”

“Who are you waiting for?”

Nick picked up his beer. “Not a question that has an answer.”

Aidan wondered what that meant. Nick didn’t know or he wasn’t interested?

Nick pointed to the pile of split logs. “Are they helping?”

Aidan was tired. That was a good thing. Maybe he would sleep tonight instead of tossing restlessly. “I’ll let you know.”

“How long are you going to do without?”

“Shelby and I have a deal for six months.”

Nick whistled. “That’s a long time. Especially for you. Until now wasn’t your personal best of doing without maybe fifteen minutes?”

Aidan put on his gloves. “Funny. Very funny.”

“You do like the ladies.”

“And they like me back. I can hold out that long. I need some things to change.”

“And Shelby’s not an option because you’re friends?”

“Right. I don’t want to screw things up.” Aidan paused. “You know what I mean.”

“I do.” Nick looked at him. “Most married couples would say they’re friends as well as husband and wife,
and
they sleep together.”

“Good for them. Now leave me alone. I have logs to split.”

Nick laughed. “Go for it. Charlie and I are happy to watch you work out your frustration. When you’re done here, I have a house that needs painting.”

“Go to hell.”

Nick was still laughing when Aidan split the next log.

* * *

T
HE
SECOND
MEETING
of the single friends—and just friends—group went as badly as the first, with the added thrill of exes circling each other like wary wolves guarding territory.

“Why do they have to date?” Shelby asked, watching two people who had been making out by the end of the ice-skating party now glare at each other from opposite ends of the bowling alley. “The rules were very clear. Singles being friends. Not kissing, not sleeping together, being friends. Why is that so hard?”

Aidan walked over to pick up the black bowling ball he’d chosen. He supported it with his left hand as he walked to the end of the lane.

“Biology,” he offered. “Men and women are meant to procreate. They’re just doing their bit to pass on their DNA.”

“There’s the human condition reduced to its most basic form,” she teased. “Your science teacher would be proud.”

He laughed, then took several steps as he swung his right arm. The ball came forward and raced down the lane before smacking into the pins. All of them fell.

“Congratulations, Aidan,” a woman called.

“Looking good,” another said.

They were both sitting with Charlie. The little white dog seemed perfectly at home at the bowling alley. Shelby was sure having him there was a violation of several city ordinances, but so far no one had complained. In fact nearly every woman in the place had stopped by to pet the little dog.

Shelby told herself it was great that Charlie was getting so much attention. He was a handsome, friendly little guy so it made sense that people found him appealing. On another day, she would probably tease Aidan that his dog was a chick magnet. Only right now she didn’t find the situation very funny.

Maybe she was tired. There was no other reason for her to mind the way the women came over and chatted with Aidan while they petted Charlie. It was nice that people liked him and his dog. Even without the dog, he was handsome with his broad shoulders and easy smile.

He looked especially good today, she thought absently. The way his jeans fit him. He had a really good butt and bowling only emphasized that. Even his silly rented bowling shoes didn’t take anything away from his appeal. She’d noticed she wasn’t the only one paying attention when it was his turn.

She watched the electronic display adjust the score for Aidan’s latest strike. Their team was in the lead, but somehow even that didn’t make her feel better. She felt funny. No, restless maybe. Something was wrong—she simply couldn’t say what.

She walked over to the padded bench, where Charlie was holding court. He wagged his tail when she approached. When she sat down, he settled next to her, resting his head on her lap and staring into her eyes.

“Hey, sweetie,” she murmured, stroking him. “Having fun?”

“I hope he is, because I’m not.” The speaker was a striking redhead named Amanda. “Rob and I lasted all of two weeks before breaking up. He wasn’t as nice as I thought.”

“Oh, I like him fine,” a pretty blonde said with a smile.

“Wait until he gets you into bed,” the redhead warned. “Once he’s notched his headboard, he’s done.”

Allison, the blonde, looked slightly startled at the information. She glanced at a team of guys. “Really?”

Shelby sighed. “You know the purpose of this group was to get to know each other without getting romantically involved.”

“Why on earth would we want to do that?” Allison asked. “I have plenty of girlfriends. I’m looking for a man. Aren’t you?”

“Not right now,” Shelby told her. “I’m taking a break.”

Which was kind of true. To be honest, she was getting tired of trying to explain her relationship with Aidan. While their situation shouldn’t have been complicated, a lot of people had trouble understanding it.

Allison perked up. “You mean he’s single?”

Aidan walked over and sat next to Shelby. He looked at Allison. “Am I the
he
in question?”

Shelby wanted to push the blonde away, which made no sense. Instead she said with fake cheerfulness, “You are. Women continue to flock to you.”

“I’m not single,” Aidan said firmly.

“You’re not?” Allison and Shelby said together.

Aidan raised his eyebrows. “No. I’m...” He hesitated. “I’m not single.”

Allison glared at Shelby. “So you
are
dating.”

“We’re not.”

“You’re the reason he won’t go out with me.”

Aidan leaned back against the bench. “She kind of has you there.”

“It’s not funny,” Allison said, coming to her feet. “What kind of game are you two playing?”

“It’s not a game.” Shelby pressed her lips together, both happy and uncomfortable. “We’re just— It’s hard to explain.”

“Obviously.” Allison turned and walked away.

“She’s not a fan,” Aidan said lightly. “Nick doesn’t get it, either.”

“You discussed what we’re doing with your brother?”

“I told him the basics. Not why we’re trying this.”

Meaning he hadn’t shared anything about her father. Shelby wasn’t surprised, but still the words gave her a warm, glowy kind of feeling in her chest. Aidan was so nice and—

Allison returned with the redhead and Rob.

“Tell them what you told me,” Allison demanded. “Because I think you’re playing some kind of sick game.”

Several other members of the group gathered around. Charlie raised his head. His ears came forward and his posture changed from relaxed to watchful. While Shelby appreciated that he wanted to protect his new pack, she wished there was a way to explain it wasn’t necessary.

She looked at Aidan, who smiled at her. “I’ll take this one,” he said, before turning to the group.

“Shelby and I are friends. We’ve agreed to hang out with each other for six months to learn how the other half thinks and behaves. Our goal is to grow as people and learn to appreciate the opposite sex so we can have better relationships in the long term.”

About a dozen pairs of eyes stared in disbelief.

“You’re just friends,” Allison repeated, sounding skeptical. “As in just friends, but you’re not seeing anyone else?”

“No dating,” Shelby told her. “It would be a distraction. This is better.”

“Than what?” Rob asked. “You’re spending time together and not getting any? For six months? Man, that’s rough.”

Amanda turned on him. “I knew it. The only reason you want to go out with a woman is to get laid. You’re a real jerk, you know that?”

“Hey, if you had something interesting to say, I’d want to listen.”

A couple of the guys groaned. The redhead’s mouth dropped open. One of the men took Rob by the arm and led him toward the door.

“You should probably get out of here while you can.”

The unfolding drama was compelling, but it wasn’t enough to keep Shelby’s attention. Instead she found herself watching Aidan. The Aidan who used to have a different woman in his bed every weekend. The Aidan who was currently not, to quote the eloquent Rob, getting any.

Her first instinct was to offer to fix the problem. You know, with her. And with that thought came tangled images that made her insides quiver. Holding Aidan, kissing Aidan, making love with him. Even though she knew she shouldn’t, she couldn’t help a minidaydream on the topic.

Then she reminded herself that he was her friend and that he deserved better from her.

“What?” Aidan asked. “You’re thinking something.”

“You. Sex.”

His eyes narrowed. “We’re not having that conversation.”

“But you—”

“Nope. Not going there. Everything is fine. This is working, Shelby. We’re both different. You’re trusting me and I’m getting to know you as a person. We’re doing what we set out to do. I’m not going to mess that up.”

“But you have needs.”

“I’m fine and we are done talking about this.”

He stared at her until she nodded slowly. Fine. They wouldn’t talk about it anymore, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t think about it. Her friend had a problem and somehow she was going to have to fix it.

* * *

A
IDAN
SPENT
A
week waiting for the other shoe to drop, but Shelby kept her word. There weren’t any discussions of his
needs
, or anything else that made him uncomfortable. Which was exactly how he wanted it to be. Only every now and then he found himself wondering how she would suggest solving the problem. He could think of a couple of great ideas, all of which involved them naked.

Unfortunately thinking about the problem only made it worse. And bigger. So he suffered through several cold showers, a few stern talking-tos and another log-splitting session back at Nick’s. If this kept up much longer, his brother was going to have firewood for six winters.