Betrayal (23 page)

“Charli,” he reached across the table and laid his hand down, palm up.

A tear escaped my eye as I placed my hand in his.

His surrounded mine with a squeeze. “I believe you.”

I forced a smile.

“No matter how experienced you think I am or how many women there have been, I’m not what you think. I don’t do
this
either. I’ve told you—I have unique tastes, and honestly, they don’t bode well for most relationships. I have sources that keep me satisfied, but that’s not the same thing. I haven’t even tried to be in a relationship for quite awhile.”

I looked at him through my lashes. On his face I saw the sincerity mirrored in his words.

“There was something about you,” he went on, “about
us
, that was different—different than anything I’ve
ever
experienced. I was drawn to you that morning at the pool. There was—no,
is
—electricity that surrounds us like I’ve never known.”

The void in my chest gaped open. It was so painful I feared looking down. If I did, I was sure I’d see bloody shreds of vessels and flesh where my heart had been. Nox felt what I felt. It wasn’t just me. We had a connection and soon it would be over.

“I-I wish,” I said through ragged breaths, “I wish this were another time and place. I wish this were longer than a week. I wish I could, but I can’t.”

He squeezed my hand again. “I’m not asking—not because I don’t want that. I do. I’m not asking because we both went into this with the same expectations. Believe me, I’ve been racking my brain for ways to make you stay, for me to stay.” He looked around, taking in the balcony and the ocean beyond. His cheeks rose as he said, “I don’t really live here. I also have a life to return to.”

My eyes darted to his when he said
life
.

“
Life
, Charli, not
wife
. I didn’t lie. Both of us have lives. Maybe one day, if it’s meant to be, they’ll intersect. In the meantime, we’ll always have Del Mar
and 101
.” He added the last part with the menacing grin that made my tummy do somersaults.

Nox stood and lifted my hand. When I rose, he pulled me into his arms and our lips met. I wanted to stay in his embrace forever. His kiss was tender and giving. The urgency we’d had over the past week had been replaced by a need to share what little of ourselves we could. His lips and tongue tasted like coffee. I knew that every time I drank a cup, I’d remember Nox. I’d also remember the way we fit together. Whenever I was chilled, I’d recall the warmth of his solid body against mine. That memory would become my blanket as I resumed my life, my real one.

I longed to give him something, too. As his fingers raked the waves of my long hair, I wanted him to remember me, to remember us. I would have gladly given him anything he desired, but the pain in my chest meant I had nothing left to give. Nox already owned me—heart, body, and soul.

I was no longer my own to bestow.

“I’ll take you and Chelsea to the airport.”

I shook my head. “No, I can’t. I can’t do this again. This has to be our goodbye.” The word was a knife gutting the void.

The vein and tendons in his neck told me that he wanted to argue, perhaps demand. After all, he hadn’t asked. The navy swirling in his light blue eyes also let me know that his emotions were on overload. He was debating his next words.

“Please, Nox, please don’t make this more difficult than it already is.”

His lips captured mine. One last kiss—no longer gentle. This was rough and devouring.

I moaned as our bodies melted together.

When Nox released me, he brushed my bruised lips with his. It was as if he needed one more connection. “Charli, I’ll never forget you.” Taking my chin in his grasp, he said, “I’m not going to tell you which one or that I’m sorry for doing it, but when you discover the rule I broke, I hope you know that it was because of you.”

I shook my head. “I don’t understand. What rule?”

He kissed my nose. “I said I wasn’t going to tell you.”

“Will you tell me why it was because of me?”

“Because since the first moment I saw you, I’ve made exceptions. I’ve done and said things that I do not, as a rule, do. You do that to me. You make me rebel even against myself.”

I nodded, understanding exactly what he was saying. Nox had done the same thing to me. He’d made Charli into someone Alex or Alexandria would never be. Because of him I’d cheated on myself. And I loved him for it.

My eyes closed as another tear cascaded down my cheek. I’d said the word, if only in my head. I
loved
Nox, a man with no last name.

“Goodbye,” I choked as I turned and walked away. I couldn’t turn back. I couldn’t see him in his jeans and white button-down shirt with the rolled-up sleeves. I couldn’t stare one more second into the stunning pale blue of his eyes or run my fingers over the scruffiness of his jaw. When the doors to the elevator closed, I collapsed against the paneling and the control panel’s buttons blurred as I continued to blink away the tears.

Though my head ached from the pent-up pressure, it wasn’t until I was safely inside Chelsea’s and my suite that I let the sobs rain free. With my face buried in my best friend’s shoulder, I cried as my body convulsed with each tattered breath.

CHELSEA AND I
settled into our airplane seats as other passengers walked by. People thought first-class was something special, but as person after person passed, first-class felt like a display case. I wished for a seat at the very back, a place where I could hide and no one would see.

“Before we take off, can I get you anything to drink?” the way-too-perky flight attendant asked, placing napkins on the armrest between us. With a wink, she tapped my knee. “You know, honey, it’s not that bright in here. You can take off your sunglasses.”

“My friend has sensitive eyes,” Chelsea said. “We’ll both have champagne.”

After she walked away, I whispered, “I don’t feel like celebrating.”

Chelsea removed my sunglasses, shook her head and returned them to my face. “You need to celebrate. You need to look at this the way it was—something amazing and unique.”

The attendant handed us each our plastic glass with bubbling liquid.

“I thought they used glass glasses in first-class,” Chelsea said, examining her cup.

“After we take off.”

“Because it’s safer to have real glass at 42,000 feet than sitting still on the ground?”

I shook my head. I’d never given it that much thought.

“Come on,” she encouraged. “Let’s toast.”

“Chels…”

She tipped her cup toward mine. “To Charli with an
i
.”

“To Charli with…”
Nox.
I said the last part only to myself. Then I added, “Welcome back, Alex.”

Chelsea smiled. “You know, Alex isn’t so bad.” She shrugged. “I like her.”

“Thanks. I’m glad. She’s
not
bad, but she doesn’t have an
i.
” Sighing, I reached under the seat in front of us and pulled out my purse. It didn’t matter that my eyes were red and puffy, I brought more attention to myself with the sunglasses than I did without them. I put them in their case.

“You know,” Chelsea said, “I had a great time, even if you didn’t.”

My face snapped toward her. “I did!”

“There,” she declared triumphantly. “I wanted you to hear yourself admit that. You
did
have a great time.”

“I did.” I turned on my phone. “Have you put your phone in airplane mode?” I asked.

“Hey, let me see that,” Chelsea said, grabbing my phone from my hand.

Why are people constantly taking my phone?
“What are you doing?”

“I’ve been thinking about what you said, remember?”

I shook my aching head. “No, I don’t remember. Do you think they could get me something for this headache?”

“More champagne,” she murmured before she repeated the story I’d told her. “You said that
he
told you he broke a rule.”

My void grew. It was too early to remember
his
words. They weren’t only words in my memory. They were deep, velvety tones that tightened my insides while covering my skin in goose bumps.

Involuntarily, I shuddered.

If anyone notices, they’ll probably think I have the flu or some disease. If I don’t get my shit together, the FAA will put us all in quarantine.

“Chelsea, give me my phone. They’re closing the door.”

“Look!” She pointed at the screen.

“Shit,” I whispered. My pulse was suddenly racing as my puffy eyes filled with tears. “Why? Why would he do that?”

“I think if I remember what you told me, he said it was
because of you
. You make him break his own rules.”

NOX- PRIVATE NUMBER
was displayed on the screen of my phone with a telephone number below.

“When?”

Chelsea shrugged. “Probably when he had you in a sex-induced coma.”

“Those don’t exist.”

“They do…” She wiggled her eyebrows. “…if you have too much sex.”

“Is that even possible?”

“Comatose? Hell yes.”

“No,” I corrected, “too much sex?”

“Not if it’s done right.”

Oh, Nox did it right.

“I should delete it.”

She pulled the phone away and spoke in a stage whisper. “Like hell you should. You’re not thinking straight right now. Don’t you dare delete that number.”

“But we agreed to one week, no future, no past. This opens a door for a future.”

Chelsea pursed her lips. “No, it doesn’t. It’s simply
the door
.
Opening it
would require hitting that little green icon.”

“We said…”

“
He
broke the rule.” She shrugged. “Maybe you should call him to yell at him.”

“I can’t call him. I can’t.”

“Fine, that doesn’t mean that you have to barricade the door. It’s not hurting anything sitting there.”

Hesitantly, I put my phone in airplane mode, leaving Nox’s number where he’d left it. With a sigh, I laid my head back against the leather seat, closed my eyes, and remembered. I wasn’t sure my eyes would ever close that I didn’t see the sexy pale blue stare, the menacing one that left me breathless.

“FORGET THEM, ALL
of them,” Chelsea said, her voice coming through my phone loud and clear.

Sitting cross-legged on the bed of my Savannah hotel room, I shook my head. I knew I was in Georgia, and she was in California so I knew she couldn’t see me, but I needed to move. I needed to explain. “I-I will. God! I can’t believe they did this. I really thought this was about my getting it early. How? How could they do this? I guess Alton doesn’t surprise me, but my mother?”

“I mean what the hell? Did they really think you’d say, ‘Sure, let me just throw my dreams away’ and fall in with their plan?”

I took another drink of wine. It was a cheap bottle from a drug store. On the way from the airport, I asked the taxi driver to stop. Sure, they had room service at the Hilton, but suddenly money was an object. It wasn’t like I was ever a compulsive shopper. I wasn’t my mother. My wardrobe was limited, but quality. That wasn’t for any reason other than habit. It was all I’d ever known.

The wine I found at the store had two pluses: it was inexpensive and the bottle was big. I’d drunk this brand before with Chelsea, and while it didn’t exactly taste like the Montague private reserve, now that half the bottle was gone, I hardly noticed. One of the facts I needed to face: my days of spending more on wine were gone.

Not gone. Postponed.

If I could somehow stay in school, one day I’d buy the best that money had to offer. One day, I’d make Jane proud. I’d make me proud. Bryce said I’d be a lousy lawyer because I had standards. I disagreed.

“Chels?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think I can do it? Can I be a good attorney?”

“Hell yes!”

I pulled the phone away from my ear as a smile curved my now-stained lips. “Bryce said I’d be a bad one. My mother doesn’t want me to ever practice. And then there was the senator.” My whole body shivered. “I don’t know if I can do the good-ole-boy thing.”

“Honey,” she said, her tone mellowed, “they screwed you. Your family royally screwed you, and not the oh-that-was-fun kind of way.”