Authors: Nancy Ann Healy
Monday, May 19
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“You all right?” Cassidy asked the agent as they turned the corner onto their street.
“Yeah, why?”
“I don’t know. You’ve been quiet all day.”
“I’m just tired.”
“Alex, you don’t have to tell me anything. I just worry about you sometimes. Are you worried about seeing your mother?”
Alex drummed her fingers on the steering wheel and Cassidy reached out to take hold of the agent’s hand. “I just don’t know what to say,” Alex confessed. Cassidy was certain that their weekend in London had produced its share of stress and questions for Alex. She could read the expression in Alex’s eyes as the agent rolled through her thoughts. Alex Toles’ mind was seldom, if ever, silent. The only times Cassidy ever saw Alex truly at peace were when she was playing with Dylan or sleeping beside Cassidy. Sometimes, even in those moments, Cassidy would notice Alex’s thoughts straying and turning wildly. Alex
was curious about everything and she sought answers to every question that posed itself in her life. There was one thing that Cassidy had grown to realize very clearly; nothing unsettled Alex Toles as much as dealing with her parents seemed to.
The discovery that her father had engaged in any meeting with the congressman had not only angered Alex, Cassidy knew it had demolished any hope of reconciliation. Alex was compassionate, but she had very definite ideas about right and wrong and she was nothing if not devoted to those she loved. Her father’s betrayal ironically coincided with the establishment of a renewed relationship with her mother. Cassidy was fully aware that Alex was perplexed by the situation. The agent was confident in her abilities to solve daunting mysteries in her work, but her relationship with her mother remained an enigma. “Alex, why don’t you just tell her how you feel?”
“I’m not sure I know how I feel.”
Cassidy stroked the back of Alex’s hand with her thumb and thought silently for a moment as the car rolled to a stop in the driveway. She tightened her hold and directed Alex to look at her. The apprehension in Alex’s eyes pulled at her heart and she sighed deeply. “I think you do know. No matter what happened in the past, your mother loves you….and you, you love her. I see it every time you mention her. She is here. She came here. That should tell you something. Just tell her the truth. Tell her what you feel.”
“I’m not sure I…”
Cassidy pursed her lips and then began opening her door. “Tell her you love her, Alex. I’m betting those are words you really need to say.”
“I don’t…”
“Yes, you do know how. You’ll feel better once you do.”
“I don’t think I can forgive him,” Alex muttered.
“I know,” Cassidy answered. She stretched up and kissed Alex on the cheek. “Just don’t miss an opportunity and end up struggling to forgive yourself.”
Alex nodded. Somehow Cassidy always seemed to understand what Alex needed, both what she needed from Cassidy and what she needed from herself. The trip abroad had opened doors for Alex. She was beginning to see the outline of a very complex picture. She didn’t like what was developing, but that was a puzzle she felt assured she would be able to complete in time. And, the inescapable truth was, no matter the risks, she enjoyed the challenge. What awaited her beyond the door she now opened completely dumfounded her. She thought it was almost strange that what she now confronted in her professional life posed potential dangers to millions; to everyone; yet the challenges of building her family had become the mission she viewed with the greatest sense of urgency. “Thanks, Cass,” she whispered.
Cassidy just smiled. “Let’s go.”
“What did you find?”
“Well,” Detective Pete Ferro scratched his forehead, “nothing that knocked my socks off.”
“So, you think Tate just made a natural move to the Secret Service?” Fallon asked.
“I didn’t say that. He was well respected here, Fallon…and well liked. I didn’t know him. He garnered a lot of respect after the World Trade Center bombing in ’93. Guess he liaised with the FBI. Made some in roads for the department with the federal services. You know how it can be.”
“That’s it?” Fallon asked.
“No one seems to have much to say about Captain Tate, Fallon. One interesting fact I did overturn.”
“What’s that?”
“When he left the department it wasn’t for the Department of Treasury or the Secret Service.”
“There is a gap…”
“From what I heard he was headed to DSS,” Ferro explained.
“He worked for the Department of State?”
“Not that surprising.”
“Why wouldn’t that be in his file?” Fallon wondered aloud.
“Who knows? I didn’t find anything nefarious on Tate. The people who did know him well at all seemed to respect and trust him. If they didn’t, they sure as hell weren’t sharing that with me,” Ferro said.
“Anyone say what his role was at DSS?”
“No, just that they heard he was headed there. It’s not that shocking. Diplomatic Security Service had more hands in the game in ’93 and 2001 than most realize. You still suspect he is involved with the congressman?”
“I don’t know what I think.” Fallon shook his head in frustration.
“Well, I will dig a little more. Don’t count on too much. Blue blood runs thick.”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“Be careful, Fallon. I don’t know what you and Toles are into, but whatever it is it seems to cross every line imaginable.”
“If there are any lines to cross,” Fallon responded.
“Check out the DSS thing. I will ask a few more questions here. Just don’t expect much. His father was a detective in Brooklyn. It’s in his blood.”
Brian Fallon nodded. “Understood.”
Alex walked into the kitchen where her mother was sitting with Rose over a cup of tea. “Did you finally get him to bed?” Rose asked.
“No,” Alex answered, grabbing a Diet Coke from the refrigerator. “Cass is trying to settle him down. I think I was just making it worse,” she shrugged.
“He’s just excited you are both home.” Rose winked and patted Alex’s shoulder. “I’ll go see if a double team from Grandma
can help.” Alex just smiled as Rose strolled away leaving the agent alone with her mother.
“How are feeling?” Helen asked.
Alex let go of a heavy sigh and looked up at her mother. “I’m fine. Tired. I’m more concerned about you.”
Helen Toles’ nose crinkled slightly as her lips curled into a soft smile. “I’m all right, Alexis.” She took her daughter’s hand and began contemplating her words when Alex spoke.
“I don’t think I can forgive him,” Alex said so softly the words were barely audible.
Her mother nodded her understanding. “I don’t think I can either.”
Alex looked up in surprised pain. As angry as she was she did not want to come between her parents. “I…”
Helen shook her head and rose from her seat. “There is no excuse for what he did.”
“I don’t want…”
“Alexis,” Helen took a deep breath and turned around. “Alex,” she said reclaiming her seat. “Your father is who he is. I’m not sure I know who that is right now. After more than fifty years I suddenly feel like I am looking at a stranger. I will not lose my children to his arrogance,” her voice dropped. “Or to his ignorance.”
Alex pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath. “Mom?” Helen looked across to her daughter. “Cass and I… we decided not to wait. So much has happened. I almost lost her once already and then with me getting, well…I want you to be there. I mean, what I mean is,” Alex shook her head in frustration. She closed her eyes and recalled Cassidy’s advice. “It’s going to be simple and small at Nick’s place.” She looked at her mother who was offering her a gentle smile. “I want…I’d like it if you would be there with us, with me.”
“Of course I will be there. It isn’t everyday your only daughter gets married.”
Alex was amazed that her heart had begun to beat double time and that she could feel tears stinging the back of her eyes. For so many years the woman in front of her seemed an opponent of all the agent loved and believed in. Alex suddenly realized how much her mother’s approval still meant to her. “I know you are not really that comfort…”
“That may be true, Alexis. It isn’t what I pictured.” Helen chuckled. “What I pictured isn’t what matters. I spent the last few days with Rose and with Dylan. I realized what a wonderful woman you have become. They love you.”
“I love them.”
“I know you do. It’s your family,” Helen said somewhat sadly.
“Yes, they are,” Alex agreed. “But, they’re not my mom.” Helen was stunned. “I love you too, Mom. I’d really like you to be part of that family.” Cassidy had just reached the doorway to the kitchen and she smiled.
“I love you too. I’d like that.”
“Well, I’m glad that is all settled then,” Cassidy’s voice broke the emotional tension. “I don’t want to have to explain to your son why YaYa isn’t here. He’s been going on and on about his secret with YaYa for the last fifteen minutes.”
Helen attempted to hide her grin. “What secret?” Alex asked. Her mother just shrugged.
“Alex, if she tells you it won’t be their secret anymore,” Cassidy whispered in the agent’s ear loud enough that Helen could hear her.
“Yeah…well my job is uncovering secrets, you know.”
“Umm…right now I’d say your job is bringing those bags upstairs,” Cassidy winked at Helen.
Alex got up from her seat. “Yes, dear.”
Cassidy leaned up and kissed her cheek. “I’ll be up in a few minutes.”
“Take your time. You are staying tonight, Mom?”
“If that is all right with you.”
“I’d like that,” Alex offered as she made her way out of the kitchen.
“Thank you, Cassidy,” Helen said.
“What are you thanking me for?”
“I think you know.”
Cassidy took hold of the older woman’s hand. “Helen, Alex loves you. She may not always know how to say it, but she does.”
“I know,” the soft reply came. “She loves you Cassidy… more, I think, than even she can understand.” Cassidy blushed. “Remember that. Alexis is…”
“You don’t need to worry about me. I know who she is. I know how she is. It’s not what I expected either,” she giggled and saw Helen’s eyebrow raise. “Well, it isn’t. But, I love her. She’s…well, she is everything to me,” Cassidy said plainly.
“I can see that. You are everything to her.”
“I know. She missed you, though. I think she is just realizing how much. I’m glad she has her mother back.”
Helen rose from her chair and looked down at the woman who had captured her daughter’s heart. “I guess I got the bonus.” Cassidy was confused and Helen laughed. “I ended up with three daughters and I only had to give birth to one.” She bent over and kissed Cassidy on the forehead. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Cassidy watched her future mother-in-law leave in awe. She pushed her chair in and shut off the lights, taking her time to climb the stairs and looking over the house that had quickly become a home. So many questions rolled through her mind. How would she tell Dylan about his father? When would she tell him? What would he think? What would happen when her ex-husband found out that she had married Alex? How much danger were they in? How much danger was Alex in? Question after question. She flipped off the hallway light and peered into their bedroom. Alex had fallen asleep lying on top of the bed, still in her clothes. A peaceful calm swept over Cassidy, quelling all of her fears and quieting all of her questions. She
looked down the hall to receive a slight wave from her mother as she entered one of the two extra bedrooms. She couldn’t predict anything. The answers were all here, all quietly retiring just like the questions in her mind.