Betrayals in Spring (26 page)

There’s something so appropriate about the explanation. The Others have always felt so ancient, as though they’ve existed forever before I was born and will continue to march forward, unchanging, until long after I die. Or they kill me, whichever comes first. It makes sense that the substance that sustains their life is equally timeless.

Lucas pulls the list out from under my hand and studies it. “So we have to figure out which of these is pink, I guess.”

Brittany raises her eyebrows but doesn’t ask the obvious question. All I can think is that Leah gave up her freedom for this list. And we don’t even know how to use it to our advantage.

I curl my hands around the flowery sheets, pushing heat into my core so I won’t burn holes in them. We’re going to figure it out. Leah’s sacrifice can’t be for nothing. As soon as we rescue Deshi, we’re going to search this giant planet for books that haven’t been destroyed, and we’re going to learn exactly what the Others need, where it’s kept, and how to get it. Then we’re going to rip it from their cruel fingers.

Pax stands and stretches his arms above his head, shoulders popping. “If we’re going to do this, let’s figure out what to do tomorrow. She’s pretty smart. She can probably handle it.”

“
She
can hear you, rude attractive boy. And she will do anything to help you three if it means Leah didn’t get busted for nothing.” Despite the anger embedded deep in her throat, Brittany’s almost begging to help.

A pained look skitters across Pax’s face, revealing that he’s trying his best not to be horrified that Leah was taken by the Others and that no matter what Brittany knows or the Wardens told people in town, we probably caused it by coming here.

After Leah, I might have rethought this whole plan to involve more of the humans, but looking at Brittany, her pretty cheeks flushed, eyes determined and flashing ire, I’m sure we’re doing the right thing.

Sadly, it doesn’t mean people aren’t going to get hurt in the process.

Once Pax, Lucas, and I walk into that mountain, we may never see any of these kids again. What they do will be their choice, but at least they’ll have a chance to try. “Okay, Brittany. This is why we’re here…”

I tell her we’re planning to unveil about ten kids in each of the Sanctioned Cities, and while she listens she picks at the skin on her lower lip. There are raw spots there, now that she’s drawn attention to them. The outward sign of nerves could be enough to get her hauled away, too, if a Monitor or her parents notice and call a Healer. I force myself not to say anything because she’s been through a bad couple of weeks.

“But what do we do if you never come back? Leah said that without the Elements keeping the planet’s ecosystems in balance, we’ll die within days of their departure. Unless you guys are able to figure out how to set us back on an even keel. So why would it matter if we put up a fight or not?”

We look to one another, trying to decide what the best explanation is or who should be the one to admit we don’t know, but once again, Brittany surprises me.

“I guess the Others don’t seem like fighters, do they? I mean, they’re used to getting what they want in a sneaky way, not battling.” She’s thinking aloud, picking at her lip and sucking drops of blood off her fingers.

“I know it seems that way, but if they’re not ready to go, I think they’ll fight.” Pax’s hand slides to the healed wound on his side. I wonder if he even realizes it. “But we were hoping maybe with more of you aware of the problem, you could work on a solution that didn’t involve the four of us. If…well, you know.”

He swallows hard, and Brittany sits up straighter. “If what? The four of you die? Decide to abandon us for your real people? What are we talking about here?”

Lucas steps forward, sinking onto the bed on Brittany’s opposite side and making her look at him. “We’re not abandoning anyone. It’s always better to have a backup plan, is all.”

Her narrowed eyes swing around to face me. “Althea, tell me the truth. Why have you decided to do this now?”

I take a deep breath, scared she’ll panic if she knows but also sure she deserves to. Plus, she hasn’t shown much inclination to panic up until now, calmly hiding the list in case we came back and carrying on in the wake of Leah’s capture. “We have to get our fourth if we’re going to have any chance of helping Earth. The Others have him, but we’re planning a rescue effort. We didn’t want to walk into an Other lair without leaving the humans some kind of hope.”

Emotions march across her face—fear, despair, gratitude, and finally determination—before she finds her voice. “So you know who he is? The fourth?”

Pax speaks up. “I knew him in Portland, and initially the Others had us both. I escaped but he didn’t.”

If Brittany hears the oily guilt in his statement, she’s kind enough not to comment. Which makes me think perhaps she didn’t recognize it for what it is, since kindness doesn’t appear to be one of her many positive qualities.

“Remember the Barbarus who was here last autumn? Deshi?” Lucas asks.

She nods, her lips pressing into a thin line. “Yeah. He Broke Greg. It’s not like I could forget. Whatever happened to him?”

How strange that I almost forgot that she and Greg had been courting when he died on the exercise field. Maybe because the veiled Brittany hadn’t seemed all that upset afterward, and it hadn’t occurred to me that any feelings she’d had for Greg had been real or remembered.

“He wasn’t Deshi. The real Deshi is our fourth. The Other that was here copied what he looked like so he could try to find out more about me and Althea,” Lucas supplies.

“So they can change their appearance?” She wrinkles her nose, seeming to shake off her anger and sorrow over Greg. Part of me wonders if she’s just averse to showing emotion in front of anyone. “Gross. Well, I hope the real one is cooler than that guy.”

I snort, unable to help myself, and Pax grins. “He is. Was, at least.”

“So, how do we gather and unveil nine more kids?”

Wheels turn in my brain. It’s not going to be all that easy, if one or more of them don’t take to the unveiling. Then I remember how we traveled here, how much simpler it was with three of us instead of two, and hope our combined power makes unveiling easier, too.

Before I can decide what to tell her, Lucas stands and stretches, then faces me and Pax, careful not to turn his back and leave Brittany out of the conversation. “How did you do it last time?”

“Leah brought Brittany out to the boundary and we took her beyond the fence in case anything happened,” I reply, wanting badly to reach out and take his hand.

“But that’s not going to be feasible with so many,” Pax interjects. “I mean, we could do it in a quiet corner of the park, but I still say only one at a time.”

Lucas shakes his head. “No. I think it’s important that we figure out how much we’re capable of together. I mean, we know we can affect a lot of people on accident, after what happened in Portland, but we don’t know how to control it. I say we try at least three at once, and if that works, add more.” He glances at Brittany. “Do you think you’ll be able to help us control anyone who gets too confused?”

“I may not have superpowers, Lucas, but I can help. Our Cellmates know me way better than they know any of you, so that should go a long way.” She takes a deep breath. “Honestly, I never felt like I was going to lose it, when Althea undid mine. It was confusing, more than anything, the way I understood innately that this way was right.”

I remember her saying something along those lines, wondering how she could know this was right when being controlled by the Others never felt inherently wrong. It must be how their veiling mechanism is designed, but it’s never made sense to me.

“Okay. You’re pretty popular, as far as I remember, so could you steer the kids you choose to the park during free hour instead of somewhere else?”

She nods. “How should I choose?”

“People who seem strong to you. Not physically, necessarily, but mentally.” That is my first qualification.

“Kids who excel in blocks, too.” Pax adds.

“Okay. Free hour it is. Nine kids who are good in Cell and don’t seem to me like they’re holding on by a thread. No wobbly smiles.” When we don’t respond or give her more instructions, she tugs the sheet until I’m forced to get up, then lies down and repositions the covers the way they were before we interrupted. “Good. Now let me get some rest.”

CHAPTER 21.

The next day drags, and the three of us don’t have anything to do but wait. It almost worries me how accepting Brittany was of everything the night before, but Pax tells me to stop borrowing trouble, so that’s the end of that conversation. It shouldn’t placate me, but for some reason it does. It doesn’t do any good to worry about things outside of our control.

Honestly, when I knew Brittany before she was unveiled, she seemed the unflappable type. It’s interesting that the humans’ personalities poke through the veils, at least a little. Like Leah’s intensity and acerbic wit.

I decide to trust that Brittany’s okay, since there are plenty of things to worry about that we
are
supposed to be able to control. Like how we’re going to rescue Deshi, which is mostly what we’ve been discussing.

We give up chatting by midday, the afternoon passing—at least for me—mired in worry over Wolf and the Sidhe twins. Trying to pull free from the muck of anxiety bunches my muscles into aching balls.

Every time Lucas passes within touching distance, my palms itch. Letting him spend all these hours thinking Pax and I are, well, Pax and I twists my stomach like a wet dishcloth wrung out over the sink. When I can’t take the pain or the silence anymore, I drag him a little away into the underbrush. It’s not the time to confess my feelings, but knowing he’s hurting over me is too distracting.

His guarded eyes find mine, and even though we’re facing each other, there’s distance between us. The sun has turned the day pleasant, at least for spring, and the top of my head warm enough that I can smell that it needs a wash. A breeze winds through the forest, dripping runoff onto the earth with heavy plops. Buds dot the ends of the oak and maple branches, a few already bursting into life in the warm afternoon.

“What’s up, Althea?”

I swallow my nerves. “I know what you think you saw on Mount Rushmore, when you came back from scouting. I just wanted to tell you it’s not what it looked like.”

Instead of raising an eyebrow or scoffing, which I kind of expect after his immediate reaction yesterday, Lucas rubs a hand over his eyes. “It’s okay if it is, you know. You’ve been trying to tell me you’re not ready all these weeks, and I said what I wanted to say the other night.” He gives me a shy smile and the tiniest flash of a dimple that makes my knees go soggy. “You need more time to figure it out, that’s fine. We don’t have to talk about it again unless you’re ready.”

I am ready
!
I love you
! My heart tries to squeal out through my mouth. But the lack of real privacy and time bite the confession back. When I tell him what I want, and say the words aloud for the first time, it should be for only the two of us.

“It wasn’t what it looked like,” I repeat instead, unsure of how to proceed when he’s being so accepting. Accepting, but wrong.

Either way, Lucas closes the discussion for now when he nods and takes the few strides through the brush back to Pax. I shake my head and take a deep breath before following, not sure exactly what happened but feeling a little better, somehow, about waiting. I just hope the resignation I glimpsed in his face doesn’t erase his feelings, or that my hesitance won’t convince him he made the wrong choice to love me.

If it’s even a choice. For me, it doesn’t seem to be.

The sun crests and begins to fall, the wet smell of grass and dirt reminding me again that the season is spring despite the chill in the air. It also conjures a picture of Deshi, the way he smelled when Zakej was pretending to be him last autumn. It winds a shiver down my spine, even know when I know it wasn’t Deshi at all.

I think of the cabin and wonder if spring has arrived there, even though none of our friends will be coherent enough to see it happen. A thought staggers into my brain on spindly legs, and as I allow it room, it grows sturdy. “Pax, do you still have the map of Nebraska? The one we found in the old Cell?”

“Sure. We took all the maps. Why?”

“Let me see it, please.”

He wrestles it free of the items in his backpack, handing it over. Lucas’s eyes burn holes into my shoulders, wondering what I’m up to. At least, I think that’s what he’s wondering. The idea that he would be wondering anything else is too much for me to hope right now.

I smooth it out on a sun-warmed boulder, searching with my fingers and eyes until I see what I’m looking for. The map does stretch into South Dakota, where Deadwood is, and the town is marked. I don’t know how exactly to find the cabin, but it’s not that big, as places go.

“Here.” I poke at Deadwood. “This is where the cabin is. I think we should give one person in each of the groups two maps. One of the United States that shows the way from where they are to South Dakota, and one that shows where Deadwood is once they get there. It will give them somewhere to meet and brainstorm, or take whatever action they come up with if we don’t return.”