Betrayed (13 page)

Only a few seconds later, the car pulled through the parking lot and out of sight. I truly hoped Dana had a good time with her family on the holidays.

Trevor leaned over and tried to kiss Dana as she slid into the passenger’s seat. She recoiled from him.

“Let’s get going,” she said, annoyed.

“What’s the rush? We’ve got plenty of time,” he said. He leaned even further, and tried to kiss her again.

Dana pushed him away.

“Kayla’s home. Let’s get going.”

He retreated back to his side of the car, and looked at her, cooly. His foot slammed into the clutch, and he jerked the car into gear.

“You know I met her already, right?” he asked. His voice barely hid the hint of danger.

Dana glared at him. “What are you talking about?”

“After you pulled your little strings and broke them up,” he said. “I was there when she broke it off with him.”

“They never should have been together in the first place,” she said.

“Says who?” he said.

She rolled her eyes at him. He ignored it and kept driving. He didn’t know why she kept him at an arm’s distance, and it was really beginning to frustrate him. He wished that it didn’t. Dana was just supposed to be a rebound; something to take his mind off of everything that had happened in New York. His stomach twisted as he realized that she was turning into something more.

“Are you ever going to invite me back to your place?” he asked. “Running around all the time is starting to feel a little creepy.”

She didn’t even look over at him.

“Can we talk about this later?” she said, leaving no room for an answer.

Anger flared inside of him.

“I’m serious. We’ve spent every night together for the last week. It might be nice to get you on a bed instead of the backseat of my car.”

“We’ll see,” she said.

The anger flared up even brighter, but he kept his mouth shut. He knew
 
she wanted to keep him hidden, and, normally, he would have been fine with that arrangement. But for some reason he found himself wanting to spend more time with her. Every time she suggested they got to the same little dark parking lot they always went to, he felt a pang of unease. He wasn’t sure how much more of it he could take.

Trevor drove the quiet streets of Tucson in silence. He kept the windows rolled down, and let the cool, crisp, winter air wash over his face. It might have been cold, if he wasn’t used to the weather in New York. But Tucson was refreshing. Before long, they pulled into their usual spot.

“Let’s make this quick,” Dana said. “I don’t want to be late for my flight.”

“Such a romantic,” he said, unbuttoning his pants.

Trevor was already rock hard, and Dana climbed on top and began gyrating her hips in a familiar fashion. It was nothing new, they’d done the same thing for a week straight. The foreplay had lessened to the point of nonexistence. But that didn’t mean he was any less turned on by her.

Dana’s body moved in such a way that left him reeling. It was unlike anything he’d felt before; not even in New York. They fucked until they were both covered in a thin sheen of sweat. Afterward, they both collapsed into a tangled mess of clothes and limbs.

“We should get going,” Dana said, still breathing heavily.

Trevor glanced at his watch. “We’ve got plenty of time. Your flight doesn’t leave for an hour and a half.”

“It’s the holidays, I can’t be late,” she said.

Trevor blew out a heavy sigh, and turned the car back on. Dana scooted back over to the passenger’s seat and began collecting herself. Every time was like this, and every time, Trevor was more and more let down. But this time it felt much worse. He was taking her to the airport, and she was flying out of his life. There was a sense of finality to it that hadn’t been present before.

He drove slowly to the airport. The whole time, he tried to pull together the courage to actually ask her what their little fling meant to her. For the first time, he felt like the chick in the relationship, but he didn’t care. He liked her, and there was no way around that. And he needed to know where she was at.

When he finally pulled up to the departure drop-off zone, he helped her get her things out of the back seat. He wanted to kiss her right then. He wanted to ask if she would be his girlfriend, and if he could actually take her out in public somewhere.

But in the end, he chickened out.

“So, do you think you’ll need a ride home when you come back?” he asked, nervous. She looked up at him from the curb, her face neutral.

“Maybe,” she said curtly.

A tangled, twisted feeling mixed with his own frustration.
Why does this girl have me so messed up?
, he thought to himself.

“OK, well, have a safe trip,” he said, finally.

Trevor leaned in to kiss her, but she turned away quickly.

“I’ll call you,” she said, as she began pulling her luggage up to the curbside check-in.

And just like that, Dana swept out of his life. Trevor shook his head and blew out an exasperated sigh. “Women,” he muttered as he climbed back into his car.

He need a drink… or five.

* * * * *

Somehow, campus was even more empty on Christmas Eve. The streets of Tucson, however, were not. Last minute shoppers crammed the tiny town, and I was thankful when she finally made it to the empty parking lots of the campus.

“Good morning,” Ethan said, as I let myself into his office. “I got us coffee and bagels.”

“Oh, I’m not really that hungry,” I said, as I dropped my things in the corner.

He motioned over to the table where he had laid everything out, but my eyes didn’t follow. Instead, they locked on the tight jeans and white, cotton Polo shirt he was wearing. It was only slightly more casual than the day before, but I trembled at the sight of him. I suddenly wished he was back to wearing his nice suits. He was no less attractive in them, but the suits were a buffer against everything I was feeling. They reminded me that we were there to work, not on some kind of date or anything. But, seeing him in wearing something he would wear around the house, left me wanting to see even more.

“Kayla? Is everything alright?” he asked. I shook my head, snapping out of my daze.

“Yeah, sorry,” I said, trying to sound as reassuring as possible. “Maybe I’m hungrier than I thought.”

He handed me a coffee and I sipped on it while taking out a multigrain bagel. I pulled little pieces of it and munched on them while getting myself setup at the small table. I tried my hardest to ignore just how close Ethan was while we stood over the bagels. An awkward silence arose as we brushed up against one another; but Ethan squashed it nearly as fast as it appeared.

“Make any progress last night?,” he asked.

“Yes, actually,” I said, thankful to be thinking about something other than ravishing his body right there. “I imported a template and I think I filled in everything just the way it needs to be.”

I pulled out a USB drive from my backpack and handed it to him.

“Great, I’ll look at it tonight,” he said.

I nodded. “Thanks, again, for all of your help. I still need to do my resume and cover letter, but that’s what tomorrow is for.”

“Working on Christmas?” he asked. “Isn’t there some kind of law against that?”

“If there is, they never told me about it,” I said.

Our eyes met and Ethan gave me a long, hard look. There was more communicated in that moment than we could have ever spoken to one another.

“I know it’s against our rules, but you’re welcome to come over.” My knees began to get wobbly and I prayed that I wouldn’t fall over. The sincerity in his voice sunk deep into me. “I don’t want you to be alone on Christmas.”

“I’ll be fine,” I said, weakly. Somehow, I found myself saying, “It wouldn’t be appropriate.”
 

Our eyes lingered on one another for a time before I couldn’t stand it any more. I sat down at the small table, awkwardly, and felt Ethan’s eyes on me the whole time.

“Well, the offer still stands,” he said. “You don’t have to call or anything, just come over, and I’ll be there for you.”

“Thanks,” I said, but sound barely escaped my lips.

I wanted so desperately to break down and tell him that I’d love to come over. But that would be a betrayal of everything I had worked toward over the past two weeks. It would be a betrayal of my best friend, too.

I settled into the tiny desk sand set out with a tiny list of things I wanted to get done that day. I kept the number of items on that list to a minimum, because I knew they would be lengthy to complete. Slowly, the hours began to pass, and I was able to focus a little on the work at hand. Having Ethan so close to me made things difficult, though.

My body was in tune with his every movement; every longing glance he shot my way was
felt
, rather than just noticed. We were in some sort of push and pull rhythm. Every casual glance was returned, and every awkward smile was accepted.

I clenched my jaw, and kept my head down, though. I worked through the threat of distraction, and, before I knew, it the light filtering in through the window began to fade.

“I should get going,” I said, breaking the silence that had settled over us. It was getting late, and I still entertained the notion of working on my resume some before I went to bed.

What a way to spend Christmas Eve
, I thought to myself.

Ethan stared at me for a long moment. “Want to get dinner?” he asked. “My treat.”

My heart flitted for a second as it recognized the passion in his eyes.
 
The question was so abrupt and out of the blue that it took me a second to comprehend what he had said.

I shook my head, weakly. “We can’t,” I said, softly.

The corner of his lip quirked, and he nodded once. “The rules?”

“The rules,” I said.

He glanced over at the clock and out the window. “It’s probably time I get going, too. Maybe Trevor will be sober since all the bars close early tonight.” Our eyes met again. “Give me a minute to pack my things? I’ll walk you out to your car.”

I smiled. “Sure.”

He smiled back at me, and my stomach did cartwheels on itself. I grabbed my backpack and waited as he gathered a few of his things and stowed them in his briefcase. Then we walked together out to the parking garage. There wasn’t another soul in sight, and, right then, we felt like the only people on Earth. He stood a safe distance from me as I unlocked my car and threw my things in the back.

“If you change your mind about tomorrow, you know how to find me,” he said.

I smiled up at him. “Thanks. But, I’ll be pretty busy working on this application, still.”

A pained expression flashed across his face. “Well, still…,” he said, his voice trailing off. He struggled for a moment but didn’t say anything further. “Drive safe,” he said, finally.

I nodded and climbed into my car. I waived to him as I drove out of the parking garage; I don’t think he moved a single step.

I drove home and was greeted by the emptiness of the apartment. It was weird having the whole place to myself. I realized, for the first time, how comforting it had been to come home and see things moved just a bit from wherever I had left them. It had been a sign that Dana was around, that she was living there with me. Even thought I didn’t see much of her, it gave me a connection to someone, and made me feel less isolated.

I was used to living in the dorms on campus. There’s a constant thrum of people in the halls, and if I ever feel like talking to someone I can usually find a familiar face within a few feet of my door. At Dana’s, though, everything was different. I was alone, completely.

I fired up my laptop and tried to get in a few hours of work. Thoughts of Ethan were distracting me, however. I couldn’t get the picture of him out of my head, and finally I decided that nothing productive was going to get done.

My thoughts lingered on the bottles of wine Dana kept atop the fridge. Surely, she wouldn’t mind if I drank one. I would pay her back for it, anyway. I didn’t usually drink alone, it was nearly impossible since I wasn’t even twenty-one yet. I knew it was the sign of an alcoholic, but, right then, it sounded perfect. It had been a stressful few days, and I needed to take the edge off with a glass or two.

I poured the first glass and sat down in front of the television. Flipping through the channels, I found one of my favorite holiday love stories -
Love, Actually
. It was just beginning, and I thought it was the perfect way to spend Christmas Eve.

Just me, a bottle of wine, and Keira Knightley looking more beautiful than ever.

* * * * *

I woke up the next morning, and the light coming through my window felt like it was trying to drill a hole straight through my brain. My eyes were thick and groggy. I rubbed them, and tried to focus on the clock on the nightstand.

9:30 AM

I rubbed at one of my eyes, again, impressed that I’d been able to sleep in for so long. Surely, it was thanks to the wine. I hadn’t meant to drink the whole thing. But one glass had turned into another, and before I knew it I was sobbing right along with Emma Thompson when she realized that Snape was cheating on her.

I laid there for a while longer, dreading all of the things I had to get done; on Christmas Day, no less. It was sure to be the worst Christmas I’d ever had, and I wasn’t looking forward to starting the day any earlier than I had to.

But my resume wasn’t going to finish itself; and at least now I had a concrete goal to move toward. Thing were feeling up as I pressed toward the finish line. But, that didn’t mean I could slack off at all.

I retrieved my phone from the nightstand and clicked it on. My brow scrunched as I saw that I had three missed calls from my parents already. It was our first Christmas apart, and I could only imagine how anxious my mother was.

I clicked a few buttons, and the phone began dialing them back.

“Good morning,” my mother exclaimed, speaking just a bit too loudly. My head throbbed and I jerked the phone further from my ear.