Betrayed (The Worshipped Series Book 2) (12 page)

I head to the bathroom and close the door behind me. I’m relieved Jason hasn’t taken the door off this motel bathroom. Maybe he won’t this time. I need distance right now. This is not part of my plan. I can’t let him get to me like he just did. I lean against the door trying to push all feelings aside. I can’t lose focus. 

I have to tell myself over and over this can’t happen between us. I can’t let him in again. I have to leave. I have to be free of him. I have to tell this to myself over and over for about ten minutes before it finally sets in.

I want to go after Karen as she locks herself in the bathroom. I want to take her and hold her tight to make sure she never leaves. The call I get from Marcus sends me into a frenzy. I admit I panicked and I probably scared the shit out of Karen but at the same time, I knew we needed to leave the motel we were at. Marcus overheard Dominic asking questions about where I was and why I hadn’t checked in yet. Dominic sent two of his men to find me and they caught wind of me leaving town. I could kill my bastard landlord for spilling. He was the only one that knew I was leaving for awhile. 

As much as I was thankful for the call, at the same time I hated seeing Marcus’s name pop up on my phone. I had just left Karen after things started to get heated. I knew she would start asking more questions and instead of staying and manning up to those questions, I left like a coward. 

I drove around for a while, resisting the urge to go back to her and confess everything. I wanted so badly to tell her every dirty little secret I held. But I didn’t. I didn’t want to see the look on her face when she hears it all. I don’t think anything can save me now. I have gone too far this time. Once Karen realizes why I was sent her way she will never let that go. I don’t understand the connection she has to Riley, but I know it will be the end of us if I tell her the whole truth. 

I wasn’t expecting a call from Marcus so soon. I had thought I had a few more days to hide out and keep off the radar. I should’ve known better than that. Dominic is very good at what he does. He doesn’t get his reputation from being a merciful man. Hell he killed his own daughter to prove a point. I will never forget that night. Or the night when he took Rachel from me. I can still hear their screams echoing in my mind. Caroline was like the sister I never had. I taught her everything and I tried to save her in the end. But I failed. 

After I finished the call with Marcus, I raced back to the motel desperate to get the hell out of here. I don’t know how much time I have to get Karen out of here before Dominic’s two men come looking for us. They are the best of the best at tracking anything and everything and I have to be better. I have to beat them at their own game. We need to go somewhere off the radar, somewhere they wouldn’t think to look. It needs to be a place that if we need to leave quickly, we will be able to. I only need to be there for a few days, maybe a week at the most. Going to my home in Cozumel Mexico is sounding better and better. I know no one knows about my home there. 

Now that I have Karen in a safer motel, I can breathe a little easier. I can’t even think of losing her. It’s almost as bad as thinking of…I can’t even say his name anymore. Being without him is one of the worst pains a man can go through. 

Shaking my head at unwanted thoughts, I turn and sit on the bed, patiently waiting for Karen to finish her shower. I have to figure out a way to get her out of this mess. She doesn’t deserve me, or the fucked up shit I put her in. It’s not right of me to keep her here, but damn it all, I want her. For the first time in a very long ass time, I want something other than to kill someone or something. 

I never questioned why I am the way I am. Karen makes me question everything about myself and I’m still not sure if I like that. It’s unnerving. It’s making me unfocused. The feelings she makes me feel scare the shit out of me too. No, I can’t let her go. I don’t understand why she means so much to me, but she is mine. My dark side agrees with me on that, and that must mean something good. I have always battled this darkness inside of me, and for the first time, ever, it is agreeing with me about Karen. 

I get up and start pacing around the room. Knowing how I feel about her is going to put her in a whole lot of trouble. Bigger than the shit storm we are in now. I don’t know how I should handle this. I could meet the bastards Dominic sent after me and kill them. But that will take time to find them. And I will have to leave Karen by herself for a few days. I don’t trust her enough for that. I don’t trust anyone to stay with her either to keep an eye on her. I don’t trust anyone with anything. Trust gets you killed. Trust gets the people you care about killed. No. I will have to wait and see if they come close enough to us and then take out the trash. 

I need to make a supply run but damn, a part of me doesn’t want to handcuff Karen back to that bed. It’s a small part, but it’s enough to make me stop for a second and actually think about what I am doing to her. I know she doesn’t like it one bit, and I know it will make her hate me more and more. Maybe that is what I want though. I know I cannot keep her forever. Sooner or later I will eventually have to let her go her own way. It won’t be till later, but I know it will happen. She doesn’t realize she is already changing for me. She tries to take control in all situations, but I know that’s not the real her. It’s a façade she puts on to keep herself from getting hurt. I don’t know what happened to Karen, but it must have been a life altering event. Something small would not make a person change everything about themselves without a reason. I will find that reason. I will help her become the woman she is meant to be and who I see she is meant to be.

If I leave soon, I can make it to a store and get us some supplies. I’ve decided to stay here for at least a week and see how things go before we move again. I hate this part of my life. I am always running from something or someone. My most common memory of my mother is that we were running from something. I couldn’t even count how many times she would take me with nothing but the clothes on my back and take me somewhere where she thought was safe. Thing is, we were never safe.

I have tried and tried to forget my childhood, it never seems to make me stop and see how my mother tried to protect me. It was her fault she put us in that shit mess. I will never forgive her for making me this way. All the choices my mother made affected me in ways that cannot be undone. 

I glance up at Karen as she comes out of the bathroom, her hair wet and smelling like the jasmine soap she loves. She is wearing nothing but an oversized T-shirt. I stop my pacing and stand still for the first time today. Everything in my body calms and I feel at peace. I don’t think about how much trouble I have brought down on us. I don’t think of the men coming soon for us, or what they will do when and if they figure out why I left. My thoughts are clear for the first time in ages. 

I start at her feet admiring the fire red toenail polish she painted them. Her legs are long and defined. Her thighs are thicker and looking at them makes me imagine how fucking good they are going to look wrapped around me again. She has a slim waist and her stomach is nice and tight. Her nipples stand in attention through the fabric at my gaze. I pull my sight away from her firm tits and look her in the eyes. I’m too far away to see the flicks of gold in her brown eyes, but I know they are there. I know her pupils are dilated and her breath is coming out in pants.  She shivers as if she can feel my gaze touching her. I want to take her so fucking bad it is killing me. I can’t take her right now. I must stop myself from moving too quickly. She isn’t ready for that yet, and I know I won’t be helping myself if I push her to fast. 

I force my gaze away, knowing if I don’t I will end up fucking her against the wall. Hard. Rough. 

God the way I need her. 

I clear my throat as I say, “I need to go get us some supplies. I won’t be gone more than an hour.”

She nods her head and then she shocks the hell out of me. She walks to the bed and crawls to the middle. She moves two pillows behind her back as she looks at me. I don’t have to tell her want I have to do. She already expects it. I cannot stop the surge of pride, knowing she is catching on so quickly. I do like to command her around, but at the same time, it’s another feeling altogether that she knows what to do. What I want her to do and need her to do. 

As I walk towards her, I take the handcuffs out of my back pocket. I look her in the eyes as I use my other hand to touch her arm. The slight touch of my fingertips, sends goose-bumps all over her arm. I want her to know how pleased I am with her. I run my hand up to the back of her neck and as I lean down, I pull her to my mouth. 

I kiss her with all the passion I feel for her. I slide my tongue deep in her mouth, claiming it as mine. Our tongues dance and twirl together. Karen meets mine stroke for stroke, as if she wants to top me with the kiss. I press harder on her neck with my hand, letting her know to submit to me. The sound of her moan and the way she backs off and lets me take full control, sends me into another surge. I push her back on the headboard of the bed and kiss her more. I am forceful with my kiss, and it is not a tender lover’s kiss. My kiss will forever brand her and let her know who she belongs to. 

Just before I stop the kiss completely, I snap one of the cuffs around her wrist. She pulls away looking at her now cuffed hand as I place the other lock around the bed post. She looks hurt. Or maybe that’s disappointment I see. I sigh and give her a small peck on her forehead and I turn to leave. I snatch the keys off the night stand, and I walk out the door. Not once looking at the vixen that’s tearing away at my broken soul from the inside and out.  

For the second time in one day, I sit on the bed handcuffed with nowhere to go or with anything to do. I know I willingly set myself for this, but come on. Obviously the rational part of my brain left the building when I let Jason handcuff me to the bed. I let him do it without as much as a word of defiance. That isn’t who I am. I need control. Control is what I do best. When Jason is around me, I lose that control I worked so hard to keep in place. 

I sigh as I look at the TV and I notice the remote is right beside it. Too bad the cuffs aren’t longer so I can at least grab the damn thing to watch some TV to pass the time. It will make this easier for me to have some sort of distraction. I’ve even checked if I can move the bed, but it’s to heavy for me to move by myself. Remembering how Jason looked at me after my shower is not something I need to think of right now. 

So I force my brain to think of something else.

It’s much harder than I think it will be. I don’t have many hobbies since my work is such a big part of my life. I normally eat, breath, and sleep with my job on my mind. If I had more hobbies I could think of them instead of my mind going to the thing I do not want to think of. It’s a never ending process of trying to block out everything to do with Jason. I try and think of my job, and how much I miss seeing my patients and my coworkers. I think of Riley and wonder how she is doing. I know she is worried about me, and I hope that her worrying isn’t causing her more stress. If I know Isaac and Conner, they are doing everything they can to make sure she isn’t freaking out. 

But the thing is, I never questioned how much of a work alcoholic I have become until Josh ... fuck. Until Jason came into the picture. He has made my life turn upside down.

Not just with the kidnapping. From the first time I met him, I knew I would be a goner. There is no point in trying to stop the force that wanted us together. I know I still fight it now, but before the shit hit the fan, I didn’t care as much. I was willing to let him be my forever, or whatever happens when you fall in love with someone. He is the first man I have ever, I mean ever, felt this way about. And as much as I want to deny it, I can’t anymore. He is in my mind, my body, and I know eventually he will consume my soul. Am I really okay with that? 

Maybe. I haven’t decided.