Betrothed (10 page)

‘Oh, why not,’ I relented. ‘None of this is real anyway. It’s all just a dream. My perfect man, my prince, you exist only in my mind. It’s not like you’re really standing there to see me undress.’ I started to lift my top.

‘Stop,’ he said, and took my face between his hands. ‘Do you not believe this, Marla? Do you not accept what I’ve been telling you as truth?’

‘I want to—even with the crazy father out to get me. But how can it be? I’m lying in my bed, fast asleep, and if I have any doubt about that now, when I wake the flood of disappointment will confirm it. Besides, you’re too perfect. You’re everything I want. Someone like you couldn’t really exist.’

‘I am prince, Marla, and you are my betrothed, that’s what makes this connection possible. It is a meeting of our minds—I called for you and you answered. I thought you understood.’

‘Leif, it does feel real, and more than anything I wish it were—’

‘I don’t believe what I’m hearing. I need to find another way.’ Leif was watching the ground, but then he lifted his eyes to mine.
‘Marla, I have just realised I know nothing of your life. Tell me of it now.’

‘It’s not very interesting.’

‘Tell me,’ he insisted.

‘Well, in my world—the real world—my name is not Marla, it’s Amy Smith. My father’s name is Lewis. He’s nice, Leif, never angry, but not a pushover either.’

‘Pushover?’

‘It means you can’t get away with stuff with him. If he says something it pretty much goes. But he has this way of making you want to please him. If he’s upset with Ashleigh or me . . . ’

‘Ashleigh?’

‘My sister—anyway, if Dad’s not happy with us, he gets this disappointed look and it’s enough to make you want to do the right thing.’ I shook my head, not really understanding my dad’s knack for getting his way. I shrugged. ‘I guess it’s his talent.’

‘And your mother?’

‘Her name is Karen and she’s the opposite of my father. She’s feisty and everyone knows not to mess with her. She’s nice though. You’d like her.’

‘Tell me about your home.’

‘We live in a block of apartments in Caringbah. The street is full of them, but there are lots of trees and a huge park across the road, so it’s all right. Our place is on the third floor and I share a room with my sister. We have a spare room but it’s smaller and neither of us will give in and take it.’ I smiled as I recalled the ongoing battle. ‘You should see her half of the room; it’s covered in posters of her latest celebrity crush.’

‘Her celebrity crush?’

‘The latest famous guy she’s in love with.’

‘And you, Marla—do you have a celebrity crush?’ Leif smiled.

‘You’re my only crush, Leif. If I could, I would have a poster of you on my wall. But I can’t take a photo of what’s only in my mind.’

He looked at me strangely for a moment, then carried on. ‘Caringbah—where is that located?’

‘It’s in Sydney,’ I said, surprised he didn’t know. He was my dream after all.

‘Australia?’

‘Of course.’

He looked satisfied, his expression resolute as he said, ‘This is not working, Marla. I’ll not meet with you like this again.’ He kissed me and as his lips met mine it dawned on me that he was saying goodbye.

‘Wait!’ I cried. But it was too late, I was already waking and he was gone. I sat up and burst into tears. I lay in bed sobbing for a good fifteen minutes before Ashleigh woke.

‘What’s wrong?’ she murmured.

‘I just had the most disturbing dream.’

‘Yeah, but it was just a dream. Go back to sleep.’

I tried but couldn’t, so I wandered out to the lounge room and switched on the TV, turned the volume low. I should have been glad. The idea of some psychotic and powerful Fae king being out to get me, should have terrified me into relief that it was just a dream. But none of that mattered—I wanted Leif so badly that I would have taken anything that went with having him. I had no way of understanding my feelings. I had never felt anything remotely like this for a real guy, so how could I be so totally obsessed with one I’d dreamed up? It made no sense. I had no doubt I was losing my mind.

I sat in front of the TV, crying on and off, mourning the loss of the man from my dreams.

While I sat on the lounge lost in misery, the sun rose and with it, my spirits. Eventually I was able to see how ridiculous I was being, getting myself all torn up over some creation of my mind. By the time my father had left for work and my mother was pottering around the kitchen making coffee, I’d decided I wasn’t going to waste another minute pining over Leif. I would put the whole fantasy behind me before I lost my mind entirely. I had a perfectly hot guy interested in me and I knew there were lots of other girls who would be happy to take him off my hands. I was going to make the most of Jason’s interest in me.

Though I was tired, I needed the half-hour walk to school. As I strolled along, I lifted my face to the sun, drawing it in and feeling more alive as I did so. By the time I arrived at school I felt all right. I could see Hilary by our tree when I walked through the gates, waiting—not so patiently it appeared. I laughed when I saw her.

‘What’s funny?’ she asked, frowning.

‘Nothing,’ I said, shaking my head.

She remained tense.

‘Relax, Hilary, Kyle’s coming tomorrow night,’ I said, putting her out of her misery. ‘I’m sorry, I should have called you.’

‘I am relaxed,’ she said, her forehead transforming from furrowed to smooth as she released the breath she’d been holding.

‘You really like him, don’t you? I didn’t even know you knew Kyle that well.’

‘Well, he’s in a couple of my classes,’ she said, blushing.

I smiled. ‘I’m actually looking forward to tomorrow night,’ I said, surprised that I meant it.

Later that day I was sitting under our tree with Jack and Hilary when I saw Jason and Kyle approach. Hilary sat up straighter, smoothing her skirt, when she noticed.

‘Hi girls.’ Jason grinned as he sauntered up, closely followed by Kyle. ‘Jack,’ he added as an afterthought. Jack scowled and turned away. Jason ignored it and sat down beside me, draping an arm around my shoulder. My instinct was to shrug it away, but after remembering my resolve, I let it be. Jack glared at the arm around my shoulder. I thought the little white blond hairs on Jason’s forearm might start to sizzle and smoke at any moment.

‘So, about Saturday night,’ Jason started. ‘I’ve booked Bobby’s for six thirty and I thought after the movie we could go back to mine. The family’s away so we’ll have the place to ourselves.’ The last part of the statement was accompanied by a meaningful waggle of his eyebrows.

Jack was not happy.

‘We have a pool and spa too, so make sure you bring your bikinis,’ Jason added with a smirk.

‘I’m allergic to chlorine,’ I said.

‘Pity,’ Jason said, looking me up and down.

Jack looked even less impressed but somehow managed to stay quiet.

‘We’ll pick you both up from your place at six?’ Jason said as we all rose to the sound of the bell. Then he slapped me on the bum and strode off with Kyle, leaving Hilary blushing, Jack scowling, and me—well—speechless.

Saturday passed in the usual blur of activity: shopping with Mum and Ashleigh, cleaning and homework. At four o’clock, Hilary arrived to get ready. I glanced nervously at the make-up stuffed into the top of her bag.

‘Don’t you dare get any of that near me,’ I warned. After what happened in the cosmetics department I would never be so blasé again. ‘In fact, why don’t you do your make-up now while I take a shower? Safer that way.’

I washed slowly to give Hilary time to get ready. When I was finished I closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation of the hot water on my skin. As my body relaxed, my mind began to drift. Suddenly I was back in Faera, surrounded by trees and the soothing scents of the forest, the familiar warmth of the leaves beneath my feet. I turned a full circle searching for my prince, then stopped and listened carefully for his voice. But the only sounds were the soft music of the nearby stream and the unusual birdsong. I was all alone with the gentle breeze caressing my bare skin and the heat of the sun pouring into me. The memory of Leif was vibrant and painful, but I had to face the truth: even in this place he was gone. Sorrow swept through my body with an intensity that brought me to my knees. I fell to the ground and cried out to my betrothed. I knew he existed only in my mind but it made no difference. I wanted him. I wanted to lay my face against his chest and feel his heat come into me. I wanted to press my lips to the pulse in his neck to feel it beating in perfect time with mine. I needed the comfort of his strong arms, his heavenly scent. I wanted my fantasy more than my reality and the knowledge that I would never have my prince again, even in my dreams, was too overwhelming. I lay on the forest floor, which I knew somewhere in a corner of my mind was really the floor of the shower, and sobbed stupidly. And then from far away, beyond the darkness of the forest, I heard his voice.

‘Marla. Patience, beloved.’

I quietened instantly and looked to the direction of the voice, but it was gone. The forest was gone. I was back in the shower all alone with the knowledge that I’d imagined the whole thing. I curled into a ball on the floor and gave into my misery, my tears running down the drain along with the hot water.

Eventually the hot water ran warm and then cool and then cold, forcing me, shivering, from the shower. I dried off slowly, sapped of energy and filled with a mix of loss, fear and confusion. I missed Leif so much but knew at the same time that I was losing my mind. How on earth could I feel this . . . what was it—love, obsession—for a guy who existed only in my dreams? To compound my wretchedness, there was the realisation that, with this latest delusion, I didn’t even have the excuse of being asleep. Frightened and more determined than ever to embrace reality, I wrapped myself in my towel and went to my room to get ready for my date. I would
force
myself to have feelings for Jason.

My sanity depended on it.

Hilary was too excited to notice the state I was in. She had finished her make-up by the time I joined her and was just starting on her hair. Her good mood brought me crashing back to reality.

‘Amy, I need help,’ she said putting her brush down as I came in. ‘Which outfit do you think I should wear?’ She had brought two and they were laid out on my bed for my inspection.

‘Oh, I don’t know, they both look good—how are you wearing your hair?’ I asked, doing my best to summon some enthusiasm.

‘Up, I think.’ She swept her thick shoulder-length hair up to demonstrate.

‘Go with the dress,’ I suggested.

She stepped into the dress and did it up. Hilary had a nice curvy figure and the dress fitted it flawlessly.

‘You’re going to make Kyle weep,’ I said, managing a smile. She looked just about as pleased as I’ve ever seen anyone look.

I blow-dried my hair and, inspired by Hilary, considered wearing it up. I tried it, took one look at my ears and let it back down again. I wondered, not for the first time, if I would ever be brave enough to have them surgically altered.

Jason and Kyle arrived right on time. Jason walked through the door, confidence personified, took a long look at me and said with a broad grin, ‘Babe, you look hot.’

Kyle just stood gawking at Hilary, eventually managing to form a syllable when she laughed. ‘Wow.’

After a lecture about the dangers of drink driving and speeding, Dad offered the guys a Coke. Jason pointed out that we would have to get going to make the restaurant on time. We said goodbye to my parents and headed for the door.

‘Not too late, Amy,’ my father said, shooting me one of his ‘I know I can always trust you’ looks.

‘
Dad
,’ I said, giving him a look of my own.

He smiled, unrepentant.

‘Intense,’ Jason said with a shudder when the door closed behind us.