Betting on Fate (13 page)

“For what?” For a second, he sounded like the Will she knew and had fallen for, but when she searched his face, she found nothing warm.

So she retreated behind a mask of her own. She shivered in her coat, laying on the southern accent as thick and sweet as apple pie. “Well, sugar, you were a distraction I couldn’t afford. I was off my game when I was with you.” Her throat tried to close, but she spoke past it. “With you gone, I won’t miss a step again.”

“See that you don’t, Penelope.” He kept walking, and this time she didn’t follow.

But she couldn’t stop herself from delivering one last brutal parting shot. “It’s cowardice to walk away from something when you should fight. Apparently you’re more like your mother than either of us could have dreamed.”

She thought that might be enough to get him to stop. She was wrong.
Instead she watched his figure grow smaller before he finally turned a corner and disappeared. Only then did she sink onto the curb and drop her head into her hands. She should have known this was going to happen, but she’d been so caught up in how good it felt to be around him that she hadn’t paid attention to the red flags that kept shooting up with every conversation they had. She’d been willing to let things fall through the cracks of her professional life because he’d made her feel so good in and out of the bedroom. She should have known better. Hadn’t her parents taught her that love didn’t do anything but drag down a person?

She was a fool, because only a fool would cry over a man who was too idiotic to realize what he had.

She fumbled for her phone, intending to call a cab, but that wasn’t the number she dialed. Instead, it was her father who answered. “Pen?”

“Dad…” She had to pause to get her tone closer to normal, and even then it was a pathetic imitation. “Dad, I need you.”

Chapter Seventeen

Will brought the sledgehammer down on the wall, shattering the wood with a satisfying crunch. He wiped the sweat from his brow and hefted the hammer again, ready to take out the next section. He’d been there long enough that his arms had begun to take on the taffy-like feeling of well-used muscles, but it still wasn’t enough. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the betrayal on Penelope’s face, heard her offering him an easy out, offering one more chance to back away from the ledge he seemed determined to throw himself off of.

“I didn’t know manual labor was part of the contract.”

He swore and turned around, glaring at Garrett. The surprise on his twin’s face would have been comical under any other circumstances. Now, it was just annoying. “What do you want?”

“You haven’t been returning my phone calls.”

“Then you should have taken a hint.” He swung the sledgehammer again, breaking another hole in the drywall. “I needed some time to think.”

“To think about what a jackass you’re being?” When he glared, Garrett raised his hands. “We’re brothers—that means sometimes I have to shove your face into hard truths. Ridley and I saw Penelope getting into a car that wasn’t yours the other night, and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out you’ve gone and fucked things up.”

“Who says breaking things off with her is fucking things up? She’s an emotional mess.” The words felt like a lie—because they were. Penelope wasn’t perfect, but the only emotional mess in their relationship was
him
.

“I saw the way you looked at her.”

“Then you obviously need to get a new eye prescription, because I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“How long has it been since you’ve seen her?”

Will turned away before his twin could see the truth on his face. Five days, twenty-one hours, and some-odd minutes. She hadn’t called—not that he expected her to—but a small box had shown up at his business today with the garters she’d worn last week. They occupied such a small space physically, but the emotional blow had been enough to leave a gaping wound in his chest. But then, Penelope had never pulled her punches where he was concerned. Her message couldn’t be clearer—she wanted nothing to do with him, and no reminders of the week they’d spent together. It was almost as if it had never happened. Exactly what he wanted.

Except it
had
happened.

That was the problem. They could remove all physical traces of each other—and, believe him, he’d washed his sheets half a dozen times, only to be convinced that he could still smell her perfume—but they couldn’t erase the memories of their time together. Or at least he wasn’t able to. Perhaps she’d been more successful on that front.

“Yeah, I thought so.”

He faced his brother, having almost forgotten he was there. “What?”

“In the last ten years, do you know how many women I’ve seen affect you
at all
, let alone on this level?” Garrett kept going before he could form an answer. “None. Not a single one. Until her.”

“It doesn’t mean anything.” Another lie.

“Tell me what happened.”

Will glared. “That dominance tone may work on Ridley, but it won’t work on me.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “What are you so afraid of?”

Words crowded his throat, all the words he’d battled down time and time again, all demanding to be voiced. He tried to silence them—tried and failed. “I don’t recognize myself when I’m with her.”

Garrett frowned. “And?”

“What do you mean, ‘and?’ Isn’t that enough? It took her all of seven days to make me a stranger in my own skin. I can’t allow that to happen.”

“Did you hate the person you’d become?”

He opened his mouth to confirm that he had, but nothing came out. He’d been out of control, possessive and driven and…not himself. “I don’t know.”

“Love changes you.”

“You can’t fall in love in a week. That’s impossible.” There had to be some other explanation for the ripping, clawing sensation in his chest.

“I fell in love inside of five minutes, so a week seems like more than enough time.” Garrett shrugged. “But you know that.”

“That’s different.”
Garrett
was different.

“Not really.”

Again, he began speaking despite his best efforts. “Yes, it is. Things are different with you and Ridley. She makes you happy and you become a better person with her. You don’t lose control.”

He laughed. “Where did you get that idea?”

Will finally set the sledgehammer aside and dropped onto one of the chairs he’d shoved out of the way when he showed up this evening. “You don’t.”

“Yes, I do. Ridley makes me crazy in the best way possible—and in the worst way possible. That’s the nature of the beast. “ He paused, as if debating if he should continue. “That shit with our mom fucked us up—all of us. We go out of our way not to talk about it, but it’s the damn truth. She broke our family when she left, and we’ve never really recovered.” He held up a hand. “I know you don’t want to get into it. But you tracked me down after that shit went south with Ridley, and you told me something that changed everything.”

“I lied.” He said it so quietly, he could almost convince himself that Garrett wouldn’t hear.

But of course his brother did. “What?”

“I told you that I had asked Dad if he regretted ever meeting mom, and that he said the good memories were worth the bad. I lied. We never had that conversation.”

Garrett stared. “You son of a bitch.”

“That goes without saying.”

But instead of yelling or whatever else Will expected, his twin just shook his head. “You’re determined enough to sentence yourself to a lifetime of misery because of fear—I know because I was there six months ago. And I’ve never once regretted taking that leap of faith.” He pushed to his feet and scrubbed a hand over his face. “You say you lied. Well, I’ll ask you this—what if you didn’t?” Then he turned and walked away.

Will stared after him for a long time, his mind whirling in circle after circle. He
had
lied. He’d seen his brother about to make a mistake that would make him unhappy for the rest of his life, and he hadn’t been able to sit by and let it happen.

Was he doing the same thing with Penelope?

It was far too tempting to believe the fairytale Garrett presented. He might not regret choosing Ridley, but their relationship hadn’t been a perfect happily-ever-after. They still fought from time to time, and his twin hadn’t quit his mercenary work, so there were still the painful absences.

But Garrett made it sound like it was all worth it. Easy enough for him to say. He’d been in love with Ridley since they were teenagers. There was no one else in the world for him but that woman.

Despite his best intentions, Will’s mind skirted to Penelope yet again. He’d hardly been a saint for his adult life, but no one had affected him on the level she did. Hell, he’d tried to go back to Serve two days ago, needing an escape from the memories plaguing him, and he hadn’t been able to make it through the elevator doors. It was more than not being able to stand the thought of touching another woman—he didn’t think he could control himself if he saw Penelope there with someone else, even if she was Domme to their submissive.

They were no longer an item, and he hadn’t regained an ounce of the control he’d lost during that week. On the contrary, it was as if the loss had been building for the last ten years. Penelope had been the crack in the dam, but she wasn’t the cause of the continued fracturing. He clenched his hands, itching for the sledgehammer, but the manual work wouldn’t do a single thing to alleviate his problem.

He wanted her. He…loved her, no matter how impossible it seemed for such a thing to happen in so short of a time. Will stood up and crossed to the holes in the wall. He didn’t see how things could work between them, but the thought of her with someone else was enough to make him go out of his mind. She was
his
.

He sank to the floor and leaned against the wall. That was the crux of the matter. He recognized Penelope as his, but he’d done a horrendous job of keeping her safe and meeting her needs. At every turn, he’d pushed her too far or put her in questionable situations with the goal of making
him
feel better. Plus, even if what she’d said that night was true—and there was no reason it wouldn’t be—he’d also missed that her work was suffering, something he should have been aware of and helping her with.

It was inexcusable.

He
was inexcusable.

Will closed his eyes. This was the defining moment. He could choose to do whatever it took to make things right between them, or he could let her go forever.

He was moving before he finished the thought. No. He fucking refused to let her go. If she chose to reject him, that was only what he deserved, but he’d do whatever it took to make her pause long enough to really think about it.

Flowers or chocolates wouldn’t be near enough to do that. No, it was time for desperate measures.

He walked onto the street and locked the door behind him. Will turned in time to see Garrett leaning against the wall, waiting. “How did you know?”

His twin shrugged. “You might be stubborn to the point of idiocy, but you’re not a fool. You love that woman.” He pushed off the wall. “So, how are you going to get her back?”

…

Five days. Five days of languishing in misery because a man had broken her heart. Enough was enough. Penelope finished work Friday, her determination to not let Will affect her professionally the only thing that kept her coming into the office this week. As it was, Dad had made threatening comments about finding the man who left her on the side of the road and teaching him a thing or two. She’d drawn the line at him offering to come out of retirement to temporarily help her out around the office. Her personal life might be in shambles, but she wasn’t about to let it affect Carson & Associates any more than it already had. That much, she could fix.

It didn’t seem like she could fix much else.

This week, it had become increasingly clear that she’d made a misstep with Will—several, in fact. She was the one who’d pushed and pushed, pressing against his boundaries as much as he’d pressed against hers. It didn’t excuse him acting like he had the other night, but she should have recognized the signs of distress and given him some space instead of crowding him further. Maybe it wouldn’t have changed anything.

But maybe it would have.

She’d just been so scared and off-center and…

It was too late to worry about it now, though. He’d as much as said that he didn’t want anything to do with her, and she knew him well enough to know that chasing him down would only make him dig his heels in further.

So she was stuck. Because she loved that stubborn, inexcusable idiot, Will Reaver. He’d pushed her, infuriated her, and ultimately made her feel things she never had before. She’d joked about him ruining her for other men, but it was becoming all too clear that that was exactly what he’d done. After being in his arms, no other would do.

Which was a problem in so many ways.

Because Carson & Associates
had
suffered when she was with him. Looking back, that was as much her fault as his, though. She should have told him the midday sessions were throwing her off. If all their interactions up to the end were a good indication, he would have listened and adjusted accordingly.

It was a moot point now.

She left her office, heading for the exit, then almost stumbled over her own feet when she saw the huge blond man sitting in the waiting room. It took her two heartbeats to realize it wasn’t Will, and the burning in her throat was nearly enough to have her fleeing back to the safety of her office.

But she was stronger than that. She wasn’t about to show weakness to the man’s twin and risk him hearing how broken up she was over this turn of events. So Penelope forced a professional smile. “Garrett.”

“Penelope.” He pushed to his feet, his face and body familiar, and yet not, at the same time. It was disconcerting, to say the least. “I’d like you to come with me.”

She’d been sure that he was there to return something she’d forgotten at his father’s house, but apparently that wasn’t it. Her stomach erupted in a horde of butterflies. If he wasn’t here for that, it meant he was here because of Will. “I’m sorry, what?”

He had the grace to look uncomfortable. “My brother would like to see you.”

God, how she wanted to shake him to get some answers. If Will sent him, then maybe he’d reconsidered, an outcome she was terrified to hope for. But he hadn’t come himself. She straightened. “If he wants to see me, he knows where to find me.”

“I was afraid you’d say that.” Garrett then focused on her. If she’d had any doubts about the twins sharing BDSM tastes, they died at that look in his eyes. There was no sexual desire, but the power there made it a struggle not to go to her knees. He narrowed his eyes. “Tell me your safe word.”

“Dracula.” It was out before she could think better of it.

He nodded as if to himself, and that was the only warning she got. Garrett crossed the distance between them in a single step and grabbed her, tossing her over his shoulder as if she weighed no more than a backpack. Penelope shrieked and beat his back, but she might as well have been beating a brick wall. He moved quickly, hurrying down the stairs and shoving her into the back of a town car.

She lunged for the doors, but the locks engaged. She spun in time to see Garrett drop into the car. The woman in the driver’s seat threw the car into gear and peeled away from the curve, throwing Penelope back. She was still trying to recover when the two started talking.

The woman—Ridley—said, “I hate to say it, but this kidnapping thing is kind of turning me on.”