Between the Bleeding Willows (The Demon Hunters Series Book 1) (12 page)

I located it on the shelf. “Albert Camus.”

“You need to read that after
Hitchhiker’s Guide
.”

I smiled at him, but Killian’s words about me leaving soon crept forward. I might never see Casper or the Clan again. Silently, I promised to finish the
Hitchhiker’s Guide
and move onto
The Stranger
as he advised.

He must have seen me hesitate, because he added, “If you want to, that is. No pressure.” He smiled and it made me feel like I was home. The small lamp in his room dimmed a noticeable notch and his eyes widened. “Oh shoot, I almost forgot, there’s a mandatory rookie meeting tonight.” He led me out and walked with me part of the way toward my quarters before leaving for his meeting.

I continued on my own toward my room and noted that the corridor that was once foreign to me had become familiar and comforting. My nose caught the savory aroma of meat and spices as I neared the dining hall, making my stomach grumble. Killian and Lena chatted over bowls of meat and vegetable stew and hunks of bread at a table. He looked up and motioned for me to join them.

“Hey, Cassidy, Lena was just telling me you helped bandage her today.” Lena pinned me to my spot with an intense glare. She did not want me talking about her wound. Non-verbal cues noted.

“Yep, you’re welcome, Lena.”

“Lena was telling me about her shock to find you awake when she crossed from the Harvest. She said Angeline had her hands full with managing you and Lena on her own.” He chuckled. “Sorry I missed that. Hopefully Casper treated you kindly while guarding you.” Killian sat back in his chair and tore a piece of bread off the larger hunk to eat.

“Yes, he’s great. I’ve really enjoyed his company.” My tattoo buzzed again. “Something is going on with this tattoo, still. It feels like it’s warm and vibrating. Right now. And earlier it looked green.”

“Cassidy, give me your arm.” Lena looked concerned. Laying my arm on the table, she reached over and pulled up the sleeve. “Cassidy, it looks fine. The skin looks okay, not infected, and it’s black.”

“Have you eaten yet?” Killian asked.

“No.”

“Why don’t you get some stew and join us. Maybe you’ll feel better after eating.”

The stew did smell delicious. I stood and grabbed a bowl and plate, then filled both with various casserole and vegetable dishes, some bread, and the stew. After setting them on the table, I went back for a mug of water.

“You guys have the best tasting water here.”

Lena smiled. “It comes from the snow that melts on the mountain cap. The rocks and crevices act like a filtration system for the water that passes through it. Has anyone shown you the reservoir?” I shook my head. “It’s a pretty restricted area since we need to keep the drinking water clean, but it’s beautiful. Like a lake made out of crystal clear glass.”

“It sounds beautiful. Who takes care of it, the Harvesters?” I guessed.

Killian answered, “Yeah, they take care of all the food and drink for the Clan, water included. But only a few run the water stores.”

“Speaking of jobs, what are you going to do when you return home?” Lena asked.

“Honestly, I haven’t even thought about it. I’m still trying to figure out how to save Jace.”

Killian pushed his chair out and came over to sit in the seat next to me. Lena grabbed her empty plates and excused herself. I didn’t like how this was beginning to make me feel, like there was bad news about to be delivered.

“What is it?”

Killian looked at me, his eyes full of sincerity. “When Jace consumed Siggy’s soul, he lost his chance to be saved.”

My eyes filled with tears. Was he really gone into the darkness? For good?

Killian’s hand wrapped around mine and he scooted closer.

I moved away. I didn’t want to believe him. I pressed a hand to my chest; my heart
physically
hurt.

He didn’t move closer again, but he kept talking. “I’m sorry, Cass. We were packed up and ready to leave the Grove. Only a few clan members remained, Siggy was one of them. When I climbed out, he was there, holding Siggy’s lifeless body.”

The tears fell freely out of my eyes. “Does everyone that gets possessed turn evil?”

“While the demon is in a body, evil deeds are done. But this is different. Jace wasn’t possessed. He died and became a demon.”

“So what are you saying? There was never any hope of saving him?” My voice rose to a squeak. I had a million questions running through my head.

“No. I’m not saying that.” He wrapped me in a hug. I let him this time. I needed something, anything, for comfort. He was all I had in that moment. He continued, “Listen, if you are good person born into a bad family, does it make you bad? No. You still have the freedom to choose your actions and if you choose to do bad things…then you are bad like the rest of them. Do you understand?” My head nodded, though I hardly felt myself choose to make it move. “So Jace, despite becoming a demon, could still choose between good and evil.”

“We should have done more! We should have tried harder!” I shoved out of his arms. Why hadn’t he done anything sooner?

“Cass.” I didn’t want to look at him. “Cass.” His voice was stronger this time, but I kept my eyes down. His finger tilted my chin up to face him. “I know you are hurting and I’m so sorry for that. But he had a choice and by killing Siggy, he chose the darkness. You didn’t do this to him and neither did I, and you need to make your peace with that.” His words were strong and to the point. I would expect no less from Mr. Clan Leader. But even with his kind and sympathetic tone, I didn’t want to hear what he was saying.

“I need some time to think.” I pushed away from the table, from Killian. He stood as I rose and walked out of the dining hall toward my room. Killian did not chase after me, and I was glad for that.

I didn’t even bother closing my door. At the very least, there was nothing that I feared would hurt me in the Complex. I threw myself on the bed.

Unfortunately, sleep did not come easily. With so much to think about, I could not quiet my brain. Jace was lost to the darkness, committing himself to evil for all of eternity. I had never thought much about what happened when you died. Part of me believed if you were a good person and made good choices, you would go to Heaven, but all I’d been hearing was just how one got to Hell. There hadn’t even been a mention of any Heaven! So what did it take to get into Heaven? Was it enough to believe in God and be a good person, or did more need to happen? Or maybe I was way off…maybe there was something about Jace in his mortal life that committed him to becoming a demon, something more than just being jumped by those three guys. Killian thought the injury made him an easier target for possession, but what if there was something else from his past that set him on the path to darkness? Something I hadn’t seen.

And Killian…

We shared an intimate kiss when he returned yesterday, but since then, he’d acted as if it never happened. Did he regret kissing me?

And on top of all of that, I was leaving soon to return home. There was nothing for me there, an empty house, no obligations, no friends, no purpose.

Killian seemed so worried about my safety and eager to get me home, but without anyone there, it didn’t feel like much of a home. I’d rather stay and fight—be part of this Clan—with people I cared about. Maybe keep other innocent people from becoming demons, like Jace.

Could I convince Killian to have a change of heart? Tomorrow I’d try.

Chapter Twelve

Killian approached me. His clothes were dirty and stained with blood. He walked fast and purposeful. “Killian, what is it?”

“Cass, look out!” He ran at me full force.

“Are you alive in here?” Casper was playfully tugging the blanket off me.
Why had I left my room open last night?
I whined in my head.

My heart pounded in my chest from the adrenaline that kicked up during the dream and the abrupt wake-up. With my eyes shut tight, I begged, “Five more minutes.”

“I’ve got plans for us. Last full day here, and we’re burnin’ daylight.”

I glanced over at the daylight lamp that was shining bright on my table. “Ugh! Worst night of sleep ever.”

“What happened?”

“Too much to think about last night.”

He didn’t say anything and was quiet for too long a period of time. I stole a peek to make sure Casper didn’t look mad. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at the ground, deep in thought but not mad. His muscle tee and tats made him look like a rock star. He looked at me and stood. “Okay, well, I’d like some time with you before you leave tomorrow. Come find me when you are ready to wake up.”

“Fine, fine. I’m up, I’m up.” I sat up to prove I was trying. The reminder of my last day was depressing. Tomorrow brought my departure from the Clan, my farewell to Casper, Lena, Killian and many others, and my return to the empty house and my lonely life. Casper was holding something wadded up in his hands. “What’s that?” I nudged his arm. Casper stood and faced me.

“Brought you somethin’ different to wear. Figured you might appreciate a change since you’ve had the same three outfits in rotation since you got here.” He tossed the clothes into my lap.

“Thanks.” The clothes were black like most of the Clan wore. “Okay. Give me a minute while I use the bathroom and change.”

Casper held up one finger and mouthed the words “one minute” before plopping onto the couch with a smile on his face.

The mirror in the bathroom showed a tired girl who looked lost…and sad. Not a pretty sight. Splashing some cool water on my face didn’t change the reflection, but it did help to wake me. Grabbing the ball of clothes, I put on what he picked out…a tight-fitting black tee and black cargo pants. Now the girl in the mirror looked a little sad and a lot badass! The goth gear made me look more like a member of the Clan. Maybe that was Casper’s plan—to make me look the part so Killian might consider letting me stay.

“Okay, I’m ready, let’s go.”

Casper stood and looked me up and down with wide eyes. “You look…so frickin’ awesome!”

My cheeks heated from the compliment. “Thanks. I feel badass. Not sure about the pants though.”

“I like ‘em. Let’s go before you change your mind.” Casper led me to the dining hall for some food. No sign of Killian. Once we had our plates of breakfast, Casper sat across from me. “I’m so bummed that you have to leave tomorrow. This place will go back to being lame without you.”

“Same here. There is no one back home, just an empty house. It’s been nice having someone to talk to again.”

“Why is there no one back home?”

“I never knew my dad,” I explained between bites. “He split before I was even born. My mom died while giving birth to me, so my Gram raised me. She was everything I needed, a nurturer, coach, teacher…you name it.”

“So what happened?”

“She died a few months ago. Doctors said it was a heart attack. School had just finished, and I hadn’t started college or a job yet. Guess her death just kinda knocked me off balance, and I haven’t found my footing since then.”

“God, Cass, I’m so sorry. Something like that would be hard to bounce back from.”

I nodded my head. “Just before Gram died, my boyfriend of four years died in a car accident. Now he’s a demon, and Killian told me last night that he killed Siggy and devoured his soul.”

He stopped and looked at me. “Oh shit. So he’s gone, gone.”

Nodding my head, I felt the warm tears sliding down my cheeks. Casper sat beside me and pulled me into a hug, wrapping his arms gently around me like a blanket, trying to cover and hide me from the pain. It felt so different from Killian’s firm embrace, which was more like a shield trying to block the pain. Both offered their love and care in their unique ways. And if I couldn’t convince Killian otherwise, tomorrow I’d crossover, leaving all of this in my past.

“Shh…You’re okay. It’ll be okay.” Casper held me and spoke quietly in my ear.

“Cassidy?” came Killian’s stern voice.

My tattoo flared to life with a new sensation, like fire burning beneath my skin.

“Ugh! Dammit, that hurts!” I pulled up my sleeve and the black ink of the tattoo was surrounded by red, almost looking infected.

“What the?” Casper grabbed my hand and yanked me down the hall, leaving Killian behind. “I gotta get you to Lena.”

He had me to the med unit in no time. “Lena, you need to see this.” He grabbed my arm and pulled up the sleeve. The red was gone; the tattoo was black. “Wait, it looked infected a moment ago. I swear it.”

“It looks okay now,” said Lena, who was now in a rolling chair, possibly a compromise between her crutches and a wheelchair. “Are you sure it wasn’t the lighting? Maybe I should check your eyes, Casper.”

“I saw it too,” I said. “It was red around the edges.”

She pulled her seat over, propping her leg on a nearby shelf, and examined the tattoo with a high intensity daylight lamp. “There is no sign of infection. Honestly, it looks perfect.”

“But Lena, something is wrong with it. Can’t you run some kind of test or something? I mean, I’m not making it up. It burned and looked terrible a minute ago.”

She wasn’t believing me. “Look, Cassidy, I don’t mean to sound dismissive, but you aren’t having any other symptoms besides the vibration and color change…and it’s localized. And right now, it looks normal, which leads me to believe that it’s nothing serious. I’ll give you some healing elixir just in case you are reacting to it, but I’m confident it’s nothing to worry about.” She wheeled herself to the potion display.

Casper came closer and brushed a hair out of my face. He looked down into my eyes and spoke, “I saw it. I don’t know what that was, but I saw it with my own eyes.”

My head hurt from the intense cry session earlier, thinking of Gram and Jace, so much emotion had come to a head with that one embrace. And now my tattoo was having mini temper tantrums for no apparent reason. My head fell against Casper’s chest and his arms came around me.

“It’s happening again.” I pulled back as I felt it vibrate ever so slightly. I saw green hue about it now too.

A noise at the entrance drew my attention. Killian stood in the door frame, looking at his tattoo. His green-hued tattoo.

“I’m bonded to Killian,” I stated.

Lena looked at me and then to Killian.

He took a few steps closer, shooting a glance at Casper. “Yes, Cassidy. The ink used to tattoo you is infused with my blood. We are bonded.” He seemed unhappy about it, annoyed really.

“We had no other choice. I’m sorry you didn’t have a say in it, but you were dying and we had no other option.”

“Why you? Why is it your blood and not Lena’s or Casper’s?”

“Because it’s my fault you are over here. I insisted it be my blood.”

Some part of me hoped he would say it was because he wanted to be bound to me, not because it was his fault for me being here. His coldness pissed me off. The tattoo hummed, drawing my attention to it.

“Lena, it’s red,” I called out to her.

Lena wheeled her seat to me and finally saw it was indeed red.

“Killian, let me see yours.” He obeyed and rolled up his long sleeved black tee. It was also red. “Bring it closer to Cassidy’s? I want to see if there is a reaction from them being close to each other.” He rolled his eyes but stepped closer. The tattoos began to fade to black. “Go back to where you were.” She watched his arm the whole time but it stayed black. “Do you feel it turn colors, Killian?”

“Sometimes.”

“Does it hurt?” Casper inquired.

“No,” said Killian at the same time as I answered, “Sometimes.”

“Do you both change at the same time, like your tats are dependent on each other? Or can it happen independently?” she asked. But neither of us answered; we didn’t know.

Lena pondered this, drumming her fingers against her chin. “Let’s get Angeline’s take on this.” She summoned the Caster by writing something on a special kind of paper, then crumpling it in her hands tightly; the paper crumbled in her hands into a fine dust. Angeline walked into the med unit a minute later and Lena briefed her on the situation. “Any thoughts?”

“Not yet. I’d like to see it happen.”

“Well, Cassidy heads home in the morning,” Killian reminded. “Not much time left for that.”

Lena looked at me with sympathy.

I still needed to talk with Killian, try to win him over and let me stay. “Killian, could we eat together? Maybe lunch?”

Killian looked at Casper before answering, searching for some kind of reaction. Casper didn’t grant him any. “Sure. I can’t do lunch, but I can do dinner. Come by my room when you are ready to eat.”

He ran so hot and cold, which made it impossible to know whether he cared for me or was annoyed by me. There were definite moments where he showed care and concern for me, by assigning others to watch over me, lingering glances, and especially that kiss. There was so much emotion in it; he seemed so vulnerable. And although my memories of being unconscious were muddled, there were moments of Killian caring for me, his gentle touches, his fingers combing through my hair, him just talking to me softly.

But there were also moments, like this one, where he couldn’t seem to get rid of me fast enough.