Between Two Promises (19 page)

Hungry, but not yet wanting to eat alone in public, he wandered down to the IGA, one of his old lunch haunts when he worked at the
Blade
, to buy something to eat and take back with him to the inn.

He was hunting down the cereal aisle, hankering for granola bars, when he nearly bumped into a young Amish woman. They stared at each other, their mouths agape. Neither one seemed to know how to react. She smiled and offered her hand first.

“You’re Aiden Cermak, ya?”

“Yes, yes I am. And you’re… you’re Tara Hostetler?”

Aiden had never seen Tara up close. She wasn’t what he had expected for a woman who had almost become Daniel Schrock’s second wife. Pretty enough, but far too frail looking for Daniel’s tastes.

“I guess we know each other in passing only,” Tara said, eying him sideways. “We never did get a chance to officially meet.”

Unsure how much she associated him with Daniel, he held back from saying too much. For Daniel’s sake. He glanced at the shopper’s basket in her pallid hands. “Shopping for a few staples?”

“Ya, I’m leaving for Maryland after Christmas and will want a few snacks for the long train ride.”

“Maryland? That’s where I’m from. What takes you there?”

She blushed under her bonnet. “I’m courting a man who lives there. I’m going to spend a few weeks with him and his family.”

Relief tingled Aiden, but he was unsure what for. “He isn’t from southern Maryland, is he? That’s where I grew up. There’s a small Amish settlement there.”

Tara shook her head. “He’s from western Maryland, in Garrett County. You heard of it?”

“Oh, yes.” Aiden chuckled. “I know all the Maryland counties; there’re only twenty-three. We have to study each one in school. Garret is way out west, in the Appalachian Mountains, far different from where I grew up.”

“I can’t wait to see it. I never been where there are mountains.”

“Not nearly as big as the ones in Montana, but beautiful in their own way.”

“Montana?” Tara raised her eyebrows. “What makes you say Montana?”

Aiden realized he had probably said too much. Would she build a connection with his comment and Daniel’s living in Montana? Should he care if she did? “I only mentioned Montana because it’s known for its tall mountains,” he said. “The name Montana even means mountain.”

“Ach, I’m sorry.” Tara blushed and looked at him through her pale eyelashes. “I didn’t mean to come across like a nosy dummkop. It’s just that you’re the second person to mention Montana in as many days.”

“The second?” Now Aiden flashed an inquisitive look. He wondered who in the industrious farm belt of Illinois would even think about Montana, much less mention it in idle chitchat. “Who was the first?”

She paused a moment. “Daniel,” she said.

“Daniel?”

“Ya, Daniel Schrock.” She nodded. “You’re here for his brother Mark’s wedding, aren’t you? Well, Daniel came to see me at the fabric shop where I work the other day, and he mentioned living in Montana.”

Stunned, Aiden willed down the flush creeping into his cheeks. His neck burning, he said, “He… he came to see you?”

“We had a nice visit.” Holding her shopper’s basket closer to her ribcage, Tara smiled softly and gazed at Aiden without the typical Amish reticence. Her indigo eyes glowed like deep orbs. “We had lunch at the Dairy Queen.”

Aiden scratched his temple, feigned a smile. “You had lunch? That… that sounds nice.”

“I was surprised to see him,” Tara said. “I know he must be keeping a busy social schedule while he’s here. I got five older brothers and sisters. I know how hectic things can get around weddings.”

The bright lights of the IGA dimmed in his mind. The aisle appeared to stretch endlessly. If he were to take off in a run, he’d be forever treading down that same aisle, trapped between boxes of cereal and crackers. Why hadn’t Daniel told him he’d visited with Tara Hostetler? Wouldn’t lunching with his former fiancée be something he’d want to mention? Aiden endeavored to say more, but his lips formed a tight seal, as if they were glued together.

“Are you staying with the Schrocks?” Tara asked him when he failed to respond to her last comment, her eyes full of scrutiny.

“No,” Aiden blurted, worried again how much he should let her know. “I’m staying at the inn.”

Tara chuckled. “Which inn? There’s a handful around here.”

“The Harvest Sunrise Inn Bed and Breakfast.”

“I hear that’s a nice place.”

“Yes, it’s nice.”

“Isn’t Daniel staying there too?”

“Oh… yeah… yeah he is.”

They were quiet a moment, like two hounds deciphering each other’s next move. Aiden certainly was at a loss as to whether Tara was playing games with him or simply making small talk.

“Well,” Tara said, smiling under her bonnet. “I best get back to my shopping. I got chores at the farm yet before getting supper ready, and I still need to pack for my trip.”

“Okay,” Aiden said, relieved she was the first to break off. “Nice meeting you. Have fun in Maryland.”

Aiden left without buying anything to eat. He wanted only to get out. The hunger spasms kicking his stomach failed to bother him as he walked back to the inn. Life loomed not so good at the moment.

H
E
THOUGHT
it was the next morning, but when he glanced at the digital alarm clock on the night table and the bright red numerals “5:12” registered in his mind, he realized he had awakened to the same day. Complete darkness had seeped into the room since he’d fallen asleep. He shook his head to get blood flowing to his brain.

As his eyes adjusted to the dark, he gazed about the room. Disappointed Daniel was still out, he checked his cell phone to see if he’d left any messages. Two. One recent. He texted back to avoid Daniel’s wrath.
At inn, just woke from nap.

Agitated and groggy, he switched on the light and fumbled out of bed. He decided to do some writing until Daniel returned. He had an assignment with
Northwest Backpacker
magazine due in February, and he hadn’t even written an outline. He dug through the front compartment of his laptop case, where he kept his digital camera and notepads, and froze when his hand hit an envelope. Mark’s invitation to the wedding.

Aiden had kept the letter since the day Daniel had reluctantly let him read it, back in August. He had no true understanding of why he’d brought the letter to Illinois. Perhaps he wanted proof Mark had invited him, in case anyone questioned his being there. He’d brandish Mark’s letter before his accuser’s eyes and declare with evidence he was welcomed—with Samuel’s blessing. He took the letter out of the envelope and reread it.

Mark’s reaching out to him was a nice gesture, but the sentiments were as fragile as the paper they were written on. He had probably embellished where he’d mentioned Samuel had rubber stamped inviting Aiden. Neither Mark’s nor Elisabeth’s kindness mattered when matched against the patriarch’s scorn.

He jerked, hearing Daniel’s key in the door. Afraid Daniel would discover he had kept Mark’s letter, he stuffed it in the envelope and hid it back inside the laptop compartment. Sitting on the edge of his bed, he waited for Daniel to enter. And waited.

He swore he’d heard keys jingle and the doorknob rattle. Was the innkeeper or a maid trying to get in? He waited again. No one entered. Maybe a band of ghosts had come to warn him not to be such a Scrooge. The spirits of Christmas past, present, and future. Or the ghost of the original owner, the one Grace had said still stalked the halls of the old inn. He chuckled audibly and shook his head.

He wanted the laughter to fill him with levity, but the lonely sound only made him feel more gloomy.

He was about to open the door and check to see if the maid needed anything from the hallway when something on the twill carpet caught his attention. A bi-folded piece of paper lay halfway under the door. Was it a notice from the inn’s management? An early bill?

Perhaps Daniel had checked out early, like Grace had asked him to, and he hadn’t bothered to inform Aiden. Daniel had been concealing a lot from him lately.

Scrunching his forehead, he picked up the paper and unfolded it. The note was written on the inn’s stationery. His arm began to shake as he read.

Suddenly the door opened and Daniel stepped in. Aiden, flustered, thrust the note behind his back before Daniel caught him holding it. He edged backward while Daniel focused on flinging off his coat and gloves. Stealthily, Aiden slipped the note into the compartment of his laptop case.

“Is anyone out there?” Aiden’s heart raced.

Daniel, busy with kicking off his boots, snickered. “No, it’s about as dead as I seen yet. I think we’re about the only few guests left. Why?”

“No… no reason.”

Daniel placed his soggy boots in a corner by the door and went about plugging in his cell phone and setting it on the night table. The bustle of activity radiated off Daniel, leaving Aiden feeling emptier than he already had.

“Leah is back from the hospital,” Daniel said, sitting on the edge of his bed while he unfastened his shirt. “Joe Karpin’s daughter picked up Mom and her from the hospital this morning. Several of us helped install her electrical outlet. A man from the utility company already set up the breaker box and gave us drop service. We couldn’t thank him enough for coming out so quick on Christmas Eve.”

Aiden gawked at Daniel, wordless. The warmth of community and family and the Christmas spirit flowed over him as Daniel recounted his day. Yet listening to him was like watching television. He could only experience Daniel’s day passively. He had said “we.”
We
had meant Daniel, his friends, his family, the community. Even the workman from the utility company had been a part of their happy day. Aiden had not been included.

“The Stoltzfuses gave us their old ventilator,” Daniel said. “They heard about Leah’s breathing problems and wanted to help. Their son died from a similar condition a few years ago. It’s called a BiPAP machine. You should see this contraption. It’s quite some work. It helps the lungs take in air.” He chuckled and shook his head. “I have to give credit to the Englishers who come up with these machines. They really take some imagination.”

Blurry-eyed, Aiden watched Daniel slip off his broadfall pants and underwear and drape his clothes over the ladder-back chair by the desk. Naked, he stepped into the bathroom. A minute later came the rush of water from the shower.

Normally, he’d be compelled to join Daniel. Daniel always seemed to like when Aiden slinked into the shower next to him at the cabin. About the only time Aiden managed to get Daniel to stay in the shower longer than his record two minutes. At the inn, Daniel would push him away, like he had all week.

With Daniel in the shower, Aiden took out the note he had stuffed in his laptop case. Holding the note as if it were a dead mouse, he reread it several times.

Hearing the shower shut off, he quickly shoved the note back into the compartment but noticed Mark’s wedding invitation next to it. A jolt of grief coursed through him. Dismayed, he shoved the note deeper under his notepads and digital camera, away from Mark’s letter. He must never allow Daniel to see it.

When Daniel emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later wrapped in a towel, Aiden was undressed and under the bedcovers. As Daniel dressed in his sleeping clothes, he asked Aiden, “Did you get a nice nap?”

“Yeah,” Aiden said. His words sounded as if they were coming from someone else. Someone far away.

“What did you do? Sleep the day away? Still feeling under the weather, huh?”

Aiden, his mind grinding with painful worry, was in no mood for idle conversation. In a flash, he remembered his unforeseen encounter with Tara Hostetler at the IGA. He wanted Daniel to know they had bumped into each other.

“I ran into Tara Hostetler in town when I went to get something to eat,” he muttered.

“You did?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you two had lunch?”

“I musta forgot about it. Wasn’t important.”

Aiden studied Daniel from the bed. Watching him dress, he hated being attracted to him even while he battled against his anxieties. He yearned for Daniel’s strength, for his protection. But could he even count on it anymore?

“We talked about a lot of stuff,” he said. “Mark’s wedding, her new boyfriend in Maryland. About Montana.”

Daniel shot him a harsh look. “Montana? And what did you have to say to her about Montana? Did you tell her we’re living together, like you told Kevin Hassler?”

Fury simmered inside Aiden. For Daniel to strike him with such reproachful and undeserving words while he suffered…. Daniel seemed… unjust.

“Don’t you worry, Daniel,” he said, biting down his anger. “She knows nothing about our secret life.” Even through his mounting rage, Aiden respected Daniel enough to keep his tongue from wagging further.

Yet Daniel seemed to have no problem letting his sentiments flow unabashed.

Shaking his head over and over while he slipped under the covers of his own bed, Daniel said, “You shoulda not come back here. I shoulda not allowed you to talk me into letting you come. You shoulda not come back here….”

Chapter Fifteen