Beware False Profits (29 page)

I decided on our car. I could go outside in my nightgown with my pillow and an afghan, drive to a nearby street and lock myself in, then wait until my family came home.

Okay, I would never hear the end of it. But did I care?

Not so much.

All those summers with my survivalist father? The one lesson that had never changed from year to year?

Run.

I got to my feet just fast enough to be sure I didn’t swoon and went to the closet for slip-on sneakers. Okay, no fashion statement with my nightgown, but I was going to tough that out.

I slid them on my feet and grabbed my peach chenille robe off the back of the closet door. I closed it and turned.

“Not exactly a match with those shoes,” Maura said from the doorway.

I squealed. I probably would have anyway, even if I hadn’t known what I did about her.

“I’m sorry. Did I surprise you?” Maura was dressed more casually than I ever remembered seeing her. Pale denim jeans, sneakers adorned with only a sprinkling of rhinestones and sequins, and a soft gray camp shirt with an appliquéd kitten curled on a pocket. She entered the room and stood at the foot of our bed.

I knew my best chance was to lie. And to do it quickly and flawlessly. I put my hand to my chest as if to check my heartbeat—that part, at least, was real.

“Well, yeah, you did. I bet Ed called you, didn’t he? He wanted you to check on me. He’s such a worrier.” I stood perfectly still. I knew the moment I edged away from her, this game was up.

The game was up anyway. She shook her head, as if she was about to tell me that the PTA president wanted somebody else to chair the next book sale.

“Just so you know,” she said. “I thought a lot about this. I wasn’t sure you would put the pieces together. And even if you did, I wasn’t sure you had enough proof to convince anybody. In the end though, when it came right down to it, you had my keys. And I was pretty sure that the minute you realized it, you would remember where and when you got them.”

I tried to sound puzzled. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Dropping keys isn’t a crime.”

“Aggie, you’re like a cat with a mouse. You shake it and worry it until it’s all played out. Then you leap. You’ve been shaking and worrying, and I realized the leap was coming. I really hate to do this, but you know, once you’re on a roll? Killing people’s not as hard as you think.”

My gaze darted around the room looking for something to use as a weapon. I was bigger than Maura, although not by much. She looked soft and feminine, not anyone’s concept of a bodybuilder. But I was dizzy, and all that childhood training wasn’t going to help as much as it should. Not when the room kept spinning and spinning.

“I’ve already called Detective Roussos,” I said. “I told him everything I figured out.”

“Did you? And why would I believe that? You never pushed me to go to the police about Joseph. I would be
so
surprised if you went to them yourself. Not until you had everything you needed to convince that hot detective you’re a super sleuth.”

There was nothing in reach that would help me. The lamp was plugged behind the bed, and I thought if I grabbed it, I’d probably bring the mattress with it. There was a framed watercolor on the wall to my right that one of our parishioners had painted, but instead of glass, the framer had used acrylic. I couldn’t shatter it over Maura’s head. It would bounce. Our botanical prints had no glass at all.

I edged away from her, toward the dresser closest to the door. I had a hand mirror on the dresser. It was my best bet.

“So, if you’re going to try to kill me, you might as well tell me how I fit into your murder scrapbook. I’m pretty sure you killed Hazel. I’m guessing some kind of nicotine solution, like something you make yourself to put on your roses?”

“Nothing that diluted. Nicotine sulfate. Last year one of the ladies in the rose society was moving into assisted living, so she cleared out her garden shed. She gave me a jar because I’d had so much trouble with aphids. She’s been hoarding it since it was outlawed. Wasn’t that convenient?”

Not for Hazel. I edged a little closer to the dresser and talked, hoping to keep her from noticing.

“How did you get Hazel to swallow the stuff? Didn’t it taste like an ashtray?”

“Oh, that’s the beauty of nicotine. It can also be absorbed through the skin. It said so, right on the label. I’d seen Hazel at Cilla’s desk a couple of times, pouring over Joseph’s records. Her hands were always so chapped and rough, and Cilla keeps her favorite jasmine-scented hand lotion there. Hazel would slather it on it like she owned the bottle. So Friday night I dissolved some of my treasure in an identical bottle and replaced Cilla’s. The smell of the lotion is so strong, Hazel probably thought the tobacco odor was coming from her own hands. She smoked, you know. Every chance she got. Anyway, I knew Hazel would be in the office before the fair, because she was trying so hard to trap Joseph. She was so stupid, she thought he was the one fencing all that food.”

“Wasn’t that taking an awfully big chance? I mean, what if Cilla had gone in over the weekend and used the lotion herself?”

“Gosh, wouldn’t that have been a shame?” Maura gave a humorless laugh. “That cow wants my husband. That would have been one way to deal with her.”

I winced. “I guess your plan worked, huh?”

“I knew it would. Hazel had an extra incentive for visiting Joseph’s office. Where do you think they were keeping the chocolate for the chocolate fountain? Hazel knew it was right there. So my idea was foolproof. I knew she’d lock herself inside, gorge on chocolate, look through records, and slather on the hand lotion. Wasn’t she predictable?”

“And you replaced the lotion afterwards?”

“Easy as pie. I have Joseph’s keys. I did it before Hazel keeled over. As simple as switching bottles at Mayday! when nobody was in the office but me.”

“And you did this why? You knew Joe didn’t have anything to do with stealing supplies. Hazel was no threat.”

“You know, that’s not going to help you, that mirror, I mean. Do you realize how pale you are? You look like you’re going to fall over without my help. I saw Ed at the pharmacy this afternoon. He told me the doctor said you were one step from pneumonia. Right before he told me you’d be home alone this evening. I called to be sure they’d gone.” She took a step toward me.

I held up my hands to ward her off. “Don’t kid yourself, Maura. I may be sick, but I’ll put up one hell of a fight.”

“All that gardening makes me strong. You’ll be surprised.”

I was feeling worse by the second. “Why did you kill Hazel?”

“Because Joseph didn’t want to fight her anymore. He told me he wanted out of the food bank and away from the stress. He thought maybe if we moved somewhere else we could start over as a family, too. Find more common ground.” She laughed almost fondly. “We had everything right here. I don’t know what got into him.”

“You didn’t want to leave? So killing Hazel seemed easier?”

“Safer, I’d say. Without Hazel, Joseph would be happy again. Things would be perfect, the way they used to be.”

“Oh, right, perfect. With you passing off another man’s child as his?”

She lifted one elegantly shaped brow. “You must have seen that photo before I got rid of it. I hope by the time Tyler’s a grown-up nobody remembers what Chad looked like. That nasty old resemblance. Another good reason to kill him.”

She was discussing this with the same lack of passion as if we were discussing china patterns.
That was another good reason to go with the gold rims instead of the silver bands.

“Another?” I asked.

“We had a brief affair. Nothing important. But Chad’s been asking me for favors ever since he realized Tyler was his. First, I had to persuade Joseph to hire him. Then Chad wanted to know Joseph’s schedule every minute, so he could take advantage of it. I had to keep Joseph busy if Chad planned something that was going to take extra time, and I was always supposed to report back to Chad if Joseph got suspicious.”

I was almost close enough now to grab the mirror. “The police are sure Chad set that fire.”

“Oh, he did. When he realized he’d been caught, he decided to burn the records and leave town. But I knew that whether he was here or somewhere else, he would be after me for the rest of my life. So when I realized what he was planning, I waited. And while he set his little fire in the office, I set a bigger one in the rest of the warehouse. It was so easy to do. They kept gasoline in cans for their equipment. Plenty of fuel for a real bonfire. And you know what? I waited until Chad came out of his office, so he would die knowing it was me, then I lit one match. No more blackmail.”

She shook her head as I grabbed the mirror. “What do you think? That I’m some kind of vampire? You hold that up and I’ll shrivel at my own reflection?”

I whacked it against the top of the dresser and when it shattered, I grabbed the largest piece, slicing my thumb in the process. “Don’t come any closer, Maura.”

“Oh, Aggie, you’re shaking. And now you’re bleeding. I may not have to do a thing. You might just fall to the floor. That would be convenient.”

I brandished the glass at her, as I backed toward the doorway. “I think you killed Joe, too. All this talk about wanting him to stay at the food bank? I think he’s dead, and you killed him.”

“No, I didn’t. I’ve been honest about Joseph.” Again, she could have been reciting her grocery list. “I don’t know where he is. It’s very inconvenient. He left me to deal with this alone. I really thought I had it all worked out. Then I dropped my keys the night I set the fire. I realized after I hiked back to my car through the woods. And I knew right where I must have dropped them. But by the time I circled back, the fire was huge. I saw you with Detective Roussos and Ed. Then I saw my keys on the ground…”

“And you saw me pick them up.” It explained so much.

“Then what do you know? There was that unfortunate photograph.” She shrugged—right before she lunged.

I didn’t know what Maura had planned, but I wasn’t going to stay and fight with one shard of glass. I fled through the doorway and toward the stairs. Adrenaline buoyed me, but I wasn’t as quick or steady as I would have been. I reached the steps just ahead of her, but Maura lunged once more and I went down.

I knew how to fall. Instinctively I bent my knees and elbows and rolled, tucking my head as close to my collarbone as it would go. I dropped the glass and used my hands to cushion the impact, but despite this, my head banged against one step then another as I tried to stop myself from rolling all the way down. I screamed as I went and hoped that someone would hear me.

I lay sprawled across the steps, head down, the world spinning around me. Maura tackled me, and despite my flailing, she shoved me against the railing. Then she pulled a hypodermic out of her pocket and uncapped it.

I struggled, or at least I thought I was struggling. But things were growing hazier. I could hardly breathe, and my entire body throbbed in agony. She jabbed me hard through my nightgown and into the back of my knee, and I screamed one more time. Before she could do another thing, I made one last effort to topple her.

“Maura!” a deep voice shouted.

She jumped away, and suddenly I was free. I could still feel the needle, but Maura was no longer attached to it.

I heard clattering on the steps. Just before the world went completely black I lifted my head.

“Rube?”

But this time it wasn’t Rube, although it took me a moment to be sure. This man was younger. His hair was darker, his shoulders perhaps not quite as broad. And as I watched he grabbed his protesting wife by the shoulder and dragged her down the remainder of the steps to the floor below.

Joe Wagner had come home at last.

When the sun shines in Ohio, nothing in the universe is brighter. No sun is more talked about, fawned over, or allowed freer access to dusty corners. On the summer solstice, the Celtic Oak King, god of the waxing year, spreads his golden warmth over every inch of Emerald Springs one last time and chases away our darkest memories.

The Wilcox family had special reasons to enjoy this day. The Victorian was finally ready. Junie was moving in, and once she was comfortably settled, she was going to begin the arduous task of turning her lovely new space into Emerald Springs’s only quilt shop.

For now, between loads, we were catching our breath on the front porch. Ed, my girls, Junie, and me. Frankly, these days, I can hardly get enough of them.

“Where shall we put your lovely penny rugs?” Junie asked my daughters, whom she had unofficially hired as decorating consultants.

The penny rugs had consumed the weeks since Maura Wagner was taken off to jail and I was taken to the hospital for observation and orange juice. The juice counteracted the insulin that had leaked into my system from Maura’s syringe. I just missed receiving a massive fatal dose. Joe arrived before Maura could push the plunger. My worried girls had stayed close by my side in the intervening weeks, and designing and sewing the rugs had occupied us all.

“Your table.” Teddy’s design was composed of apple trees and bluebirds of brilliant reds, greens, and blues. Junie agreed that the penny rug, as long as two placemats and about as wide, would be perfect as her table centerpiece.

Deena’s penny rug, about the size of a bathmat, was an exotic garden, with sun beaming brightly down on a field of wildly colored flowers. She opted to hang it on Junie’s kitchen wall, and Junie told her the choice was perfect.

“There must be a lesson here,” I told Ed, as the girls left to adorn their chosen territory with their grandmother. “Hazel Kefauver’s somber old clothes reborn into a form that’s bound to give everybody who sees them pleasure.”

Ed pulled me to his side and squeezed my hip. “Don’t tempt me to go all theological on you.”

I rested my head against his shoulder. I was still waiting for words of recrimination, for the booming ministerial “I told you so,” but Ed has been remarkably restrained since my near-death experience. Although sleuthing had moved me solidly into Maura’s view, finding her keys had pushed her over the edge. I think Ed realizes that even if I hadn’t followed a single lead, once I put those keys in my purse, Maura would have come after me anyway.

Maybe he also remembers that in the beginning, he was the one who nudged me into becoming Maura’s friend.

Roussos had been less restrained. He arrived at the parsonage just ahead of my family where he found Joe trying to subdue a spitting, kicking Maura. In between bouts of abuse, Maura tried to convince Joe that if he would just let her kill me, all their troubles would be over. Roussos disabused her of that notion right before he called the EMTs to take me to the emergency room for observation. I think I was on the way to the hospital before he actually told me that if I ever interfered in another case, he would personally spring Maura from the state pen to do her worst.

Yeah, yeah. I saw the relief on the guy’s face when he realized I was all right. Turns out he had gotten my message and decided the situation warranted more than returning my phone call.

From the beginning the arson investigators had realized that two different fires had been set the night the warehouse burned, due to finding two different accelerants. From this they had surmised that Chad wasn’t the only naughty resident of our fair city. And because she was so uncooperative about Joe’s whereabouts, Maura was on their short list of suspects. With the help of the New Jersey cops Roussos determined that the phone number she gave him was a sham, and from that moment on, Maura stirred serious interest. My announcement about Tyler’s parentage had stirred it more.

Of course Joe’s disappearance and Maura’s cover-up were only peripherally related to the food bank crimes and fire. But Maura’s desire to protect Joe, or rather protect his job so she could continue to dress her front porch dolls and blithely poison aphids, threw her under suspicion and brought Roussos to my door when I needed him most. This was an irony I relished.

So okay, I’m not as old a soul as I would like to be.

“Are you going to miss having Junie in our house?” I asked Ed.

“That’s a loaded question.”

“I’m glad she’s not moving far.”

“I know. Just far enough.”

I knew Ed loved my mother, and Junie was as ready to have her own space again as we were to have the parsonage to ourselves. She had so many plans for her new shop. I wondered if Emerald Springs was ready for her—would our little burg ever be? The years ahead would be interesting.

“More boxes waiting.” Ed glanced at his watch. “Tell Junie I’m making another run. Then we’ll head to dinner.”

Lucy was treating the whole family to falafel sandwiches. Since the evening promised to be beautiful, we planned to picnic at the oval and listen to our community band serenade us with a spirited, off-key summer concert, most likely heavy on the Beach Boys. I was into simple pleasures these days. Surprising how beloved they become when it looks like all those pesky little afterlife questions are about to be answered.

I kissed my husband, something I’m doing even more often these days, and watched as he backed the van onto Bunting Street. Before I could turn away, a dark sedan pulled into a parking space in front of the house, and in a moment both the driver’s and passenger’s doors opened. Joe Wagner and Tyler got out.

I hadn’t seen Joe since the night his wife tried to kill me. Before the word could go out about Maura’s arrest, he whisked Tyler away from Emerald Springs. Rube disappeared with him, although four days later, a crew of young, good-looking men with Boston accents and names like Nino and Tony arrived to complete work on the Victorian. Gratis.

There was still so much I didn’t know, but curiosity is different from resolve. I’d had reasons to find out what was behind Hazel’s murder and Joe’s disappearance. But once I knew Joe was safe, I had no good reason to pry. My work was finished. Brownie was off the hook and grateful enough for my help that he had given our family a summer membership to the county pool. Maura was behind bars and hopefully no danger to anyone except a cell mate who disagreed with her choice of bedspreads or wall decor. Considering how close I’d come to either being reborn as a chipmunk or chatting with St. Peter, I had filed Joe and the Pussycat Club under “Life’s Little Mysteries” and moved on.

Okay, not willingly. But I was working on it.

Now Tyler preceded his father up the sidewalk. Tyler is still young enough that he hasn’t fallen prey to the slack-jawed, vacant-eyed expression of a teenager who doesn’t want his feelings known. From his face I could tell this boy wasn’t sure if he would ever be welcome anywhere again.

I couldn’t ask if he was doing okay. Of course he wasn’t. But I knew Joe would make sure that with time and patience, the wounds Maura had inflicted on their family would heal enough that Tyler could move on.

I knew better than to hug him, but I extended my hand and grasped his hard. “I’m so glad you’re back, Tyler. Deena will be glad, too.”

“Really?” he asked.

I heard a serious question, so I gave a serious answer. “She’s been worried about you. We all have. You’ll make her day.”

He smiled. Tentatively, but that was a start. I pointed him through the door and told him to climb the stairs.

Joe and I were alone.

“Want to sit?” I pointed to the new wicker glider that Junie had placed on the porch as part of a comfortable grouping. I could already imagine her customers sitting here pouring over pattern books and comparing purchases. No one would ever want to leave.

Joe followed me to the porch. I noted new lines around his eyes. I thought he looked more like Rube than he had before his wife decided to start killing people.

“How are you?” I asked, once we’d settled ourselves.

“Taking this one day at a time.” He rested his head against the back of the glider. “We’ve been in Boston. You probably guessed?”

“When Rube disappeared, too, it seemed likely.”

“It was tough.”

“I can only imagine.”

“You know the whole story? How my brothers tricked me into leaving?”

“Rube told me. He was determined to make things right again.”

“They’re trying. And Pops?” He opened his eyes and smiled a little. “He was so glad to see me, he almost forgave them for what they did all those years ago.”

“How did Tyler take to his new family?”

“They provide something to think about besides his mother. He likes the cooking, and right now he can use all the hugs. We’re moving there. I’ve already put a down payment on a little house around the corner from Pops and my little brother Benjamin. Pops isn’t going to live forever. I want Tyler to get to know him and the rest of the family. They’ve made me general manager of Creative Construction. I’m supposed to whip them into shape.”

“You’ll really be missed here. Are you sure?”

He smiled a little, but he shook his head. “I couldn’t go back to Helping Hands. I trusted Chad. He was good at what he did and even better at hiding the criminal stuff. Our jobs were defined in such a way that I didn’t have enough oversight, but that’s not an excuse. I should have figured out what was going on. I guess it was good training for the family business. Nobody’s going to get away with anything in Boston. I’ll be watching, but they claim that’s what they need.”

“Will you come back and visit?”

“Truthfully? Probably not. Tyler and I need to make a fresh start away from everything that happened.” His eyes met mine. “You know about Chad and Maura?”

I nodded.

“I’m not going to tell Tyler. Not yet, maybe not ever. He’s got enough to deal with. I don’t want him to think he’s lost me to DNA after losing his mother to prison.”

“You’ve had a lot of shocks.”

“That was no shock, Aggie. I’ve known since he was born that he wasn’t mine. I just didn’t realize he was Chad’s. When Maura couldn’t conceive we both went through testing. I discovered I had a condition that could probably be corrected by surgery, but by the time the doctor told me, Maura was already pregnant. So I was almost sure she’d had an affair. Then once I saw Tyler, it didn’t matter. He was mine from the moment he snuggled into my arms. He’ll always be mine.”

“That’s the way it should be.”

“You probably wonder where I disappeared to all those weeks.”

“Yeah, big-time. But I also know it’s no longer my business.”

This time his smile was more natural, more like the Joe I’d always been so fond of. “So what
do
you know?”

I recapped. When I finished he didn’t look embarrassed, he looked impressed. “Well, you’ve got a reputation around here, and I guess you deserve it.”

“A ‘tar and feathers’ reputation? Or an ‘ask her for her autograph reputation’?”

“A ‘be careful what you tell her’ reputation. But for the most part, it’s respectful.”

“I’m surprised anybody gets near me. No one’s safe.”

“You don’t cause the crimes, you solve them.”

I couldn’t help myself. If I have a reputation as a nosy broad, I deserve that, too. “So, where did you go that night at the Pussycat Club? Did your disappearing act have to do with Hazel?”

“In a manner of speaking. But I’ll back up. I’ve learned some painful things about myself. In every relationship I’ve had, I’ve always been the responsible one. At home growing up, in later years on every job I took on, and finally in my marriage. I chose a woman who expected me to take care of her from the moment she got up in the morning, then we had a son with medical problems who needed to be taken care of.” He didn’t say this as if he felt sorry for himself, more as if it were a fact he’d recently come to grips with.

“That’s
your
reputation.”

“And well deserved. Anyway, it’s not a plus. The load was too much to carry, and I didn’t have any outlets. Then one evening, after a day of meetings in Manhattan, a bunch of guys decided to go to the Pussycat Club as a joke, and I tagged along. It was amateur night, when they pick a couple of guys from the audience, dress them up, and let them perform. You probably already know I got chosen, but when I went up on that stage, something happened. I could forget everything at home, everything at work, my lost family. I could pretend to be somebody else, some dame who didn’t have to be responsible for anybody but herself. Changing sexes was part of it. I guess because my mother ran off when I was so young, I equated male with responsibility. But as a woman I could be carefree and funny and sing my heart out.”

“Joe, this sounds like you’ve been doing a whole lot of thinking.”

“I started drinking. A lot. After getting a taste of what life was like without all that pressure, I started looking for other ways to release it. Alcohol’s one of those classic responses. I drank to put myself to sleep at night, had a beer too many at lunch to get through the day, had a couple with dinner to get through another night with Maura. I was miserable, but at the same time I was afraid to leave because of Tyler. I knew she would tell the courts Tyler wasn’t really mine, and so my rights would be worth less to a judge than hers.”