Beware the Ninja Weenies (17 page)

Little Bread Riding Hood

This started as a title. Ever since I came up with “The Princess and the Pea Brain,” back in the fourth collection (
The Battle of the Red Hot Pepper Weenies
), I've had a fractured fairy tale in each book. It's easy to get ideas by playing with the words in the titles of fairy tales. (I guess I could have written “Little Fred Riding Hood” or “Little Dead Riding Hood.” The second one strikes me as an idea that's probably already been used a couple times.) It's also fun and easy to warp a fairy tale, since the story already exists. In this case, I knew she'd be carrying bread (or rolls), and I knew her grandmother would be sick in bed. Beyond that, I just started writing and let things happen.

Gulp

I've toyed with various stories based on the idea of soda (or
pop,
as my friends several states west of here like to say) inside a person who is shaken up. And as faithful Weenies readers know, I'm fond of carnivals as settings for stories. In this case, given that I needed large quantities of soda and some form of violent shaking, a carnival was perfect.

Spring Behind, Fall Ahead

Way back around 1978 (yeah, I'm old), I had an idea for a twist ending for a time-travel story. I wrote the story, but never managed to sell it. (Back then, there were four or five science fiction magazines, and lots of other markets for short stories.) Years later, I took the twist-ending idea, threw out the rest, and wrote a completely different story.

The Garden of Gargoyles

When I was in high school, a friend took me for a ride to this creepy place that had sculptures lining a driveway. It might have been an abandoned monastery. I can't remember the details. But the basic idea of a place lined with statues stayed with me. Eventually, I decided to write about such a place. But gargoyles seemed even better than regular statues.

Alien Biology

As much as I like this story, I had mixed feelings about putting it in the book. After I wrote it, I realized it was similar, in spirit, to one of the most classic and well-known episodes of
The Twilight Zone.
(I won't mention the name of the episode, because that might be enough information to spoil the surprise if you ever see that show.) In the end, I decided it was different enough that I could safely slip it into this collection. As for the inspiration, it came from thinking about the key phrase,
Alien Biology,
and seeing how that could mean different things in different places.

Evil Is in the Eye of the Beholder

My daughter always brings me special presents when she travels. One year, she brought me a teapot shaped like a hand, as a reference to one of my favorite stories of all, “At the Wrist” (from
In the Land of the Lawn Weenies
). She's also given me a gargoyle (which helped inspire another story in this collection), a wonderfully strange mask, and most recently, an evil-eye charm like the one in this story. As I was thinking about how the charm is supposed to work, it hit me that I'd much rather learn to deal with my own envy than protect myself from that of others. And thus was born the idea for the story.

The Dark Side of Brightness

Another from the “what-if” file. I'll admit that I've used whitening strips several times, but I always lose interest before they have any effect. I'd also toyed with dissolved teeth when I was writing the ending of “The Battle of the Red Hot Pepper Weenies,” but I decided that was too extreme and permanent a result for the characters in that particular story.

Day Careless

The title popped into my mind. From there, I just started writing. When Jordan reached the basement steps, things turned a bit darker than I'd expected. But then, the plot took another turn. In a typical horror story, Jordan might have come to a bad end in the basement. But the story felt like it needed to go a bit further. I'm glad I took it the extra distance and got the kids out of the basement.

Rat Slayers

I like dungeon-crawling role-playing games. In almost every one of those games with a medieval setting, there's a mission where you have to kill rats in a basement. I liked the idea of writing a story from the viewpoint of an actual game character, without letting the reader know exactly what was going on until the end. In role-playing games, the player has to make lots of decision about which weapons to use, and which skills to develop. For the story, I let the actual player's decision become real experiences for the character.

Frigid Regulations

This was a “what if” for the ending:
What if a girl killed a vampire with a spike of frozen hair?
It wasn't easy figuring out how to set her up with that frozen spike. But it was definitely fun.

Dog Gone

And so we end with another “what-if” question:
What if a vampire used a lost dog to lure victims?
The story “Lost and Found,” in an earlier collection, shows the use of a lost object from the viewpoint of the finder. This one gives us the opposite side of the story. I like to end each collection with the scariest story. I'm pretty sure this one does the trick.

*   *   *

Well, I can hardly
believe I'm writing the last words for a sixth story collection. Better yet, I'm working on the seventh. I think, by this point, I've pretty much thanked everyone I need to thank, and said, in a half dozen different ways, how fortunate I am to have an audience for my short stories. So let's just leave it with this: I'll see you next time.

 

READER'S GUIDE

ABOUT THIS GUIDE

The information, activities, and discussion questions that follow are intended to enhance your reading of
Beware the Ninja Weenies
. Please feel free to adapt these materials to suit your needs and interests.

WRITING AND RESEARCH ACTIVITIES

I. Power and Popularity

A.
In several stories, characters find themselves in trouble because they follow (for example, “Gorgonzola”) or do not follow (for example, “Bed Bugs”) a friend's plan. With friends or classmates, discuss a time when you have done something just to follow the crowd. What was the result? What might be some times when it is a good idea to go along with a group? Make a list of stories from
Ninja Weenies
, as well as titles of other books and story collections you have read, that explore the effects of following along with a crowd.

B.
In “Catfishing in America” and “Garden of Gargolyes,” the main characters force themselves into scary situations by calling another kid's bluff. Create a chart on which to compare and contrast these two stories in terms of the reason the bluff is called, the natural and supernatural elements involved, and the way each plot is resolved.

C.
David Lubar concludes “Christmas Carol” with a surprising twist: Carol has not learned any “lesson” from her holiday wish but continues to enjoy endless days of presents. In the character of Carol, write a journal entry describing the day you finally learn a “lesson,” what it is, and how (or if) you would wish differently if given the chance.

II. Animals and Aliens

A.
From “Flying Solo” to “Alien Biology,” many stories feature extraterrestrial beings. Make a chart noting the different extraterrestrials, how they interact with the human characters in the stories, and whether the interaction is helpful, destructive, or has another outcome. Invent an alien to add to the chart, noting how your alien fits into each category.

B.
David Lubar comments that he felt “ninja weenies” would look great on a book cover. Review the stories in the collection to find the characters (animal, alien, or otherwise) that paint the most vivid image in your mind's eye. Use colored pencils or paints to create your own, new cover illustration for the book. Write a new title to suit your cover design.

C.
Characters in some stories are trying to answer questions, such as where lost objects go, or unlock secrets, such as the mysteries of the universe. Make a list of at least three such stories and then, for each, answer the question, “Does the cliché ‘curiosity killed the cat' apply to this story?”

D.
From chipmunks to broccoli, some typically voiceless creatures are given their say in this collection. Imagine you have the power to communicate with an animal or object of your choice. Write a one-page, magazine-style interview with this character, including at least five questions to be answered.

III. Story Sources

A.
From “Gorgonzola” to “Alchemy,”
Ninja Weenies
stories are full of intriguing words that inspired David Lubar's stories. Choose a word with which you are unfamiliar. Go to the library or online to find a definition, information on the word's origin, and more fun facts (e.g., how “gorgonzola” is made or a list of fashion and lifestyle products that use the term “alchemy” in their brand names). On a sheet of 8
1
⁄
2
x 11" paper, make a miniposter sharing what you have learned. If desired, combine your miniposter with those of friends or classmates to create a display entitled “An Exotic Dictionary Inspired by
Ninja Weenies
.”

B.
Given David Lubar's penchant for wordplay and twisting clichés, do you think a twisted version of the Golden Rule—
Do a cruel thing unto others and a cruel thing will be done unto you
—could be a theme of this collection? Why or why not? Go to the library or online to find a copy of Benjamin Franklin's
Poor Richard's Almanac
or another book of adages or proverbs. What saying, or twisted version of a saying, would you choose as an organizing idea for this collection? Explain your answer.

C.
“What-if's” inspire many of David Lubar's stories. Flip through a newspaper or magazine and write five “what-if questions” about images you see. From your list, select one idea to use as the basis for a short story. First, write a brief outline or concept for your story. Then, take Lubar's advice that “there has to be more at stake” (from his comments on writing “Sweet Dreams”) and come up with two ways to raise the stakes for your characters. Finally, write your story and be sure to give it an enticing title.

D.
David Lubar credits a middle-school student with inspiring him to write “Catfishing in America.” Write a letter to the author, telling him your favorite story from
Ninja Weenies
and suggesting an idea or question that might inspire a new story.

QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION

  
1.
Beware the Ninja Weenies
is David Lubar's sixth Weenie story collection. Have you read other Lubar anthologies, or other story collections? Have you read other scary books? Did you begin reading this book with certain expectations? Explain your answer.

  
2.
We meet the main character of the first story while he is engrossed in playing a video game. Do you think you like video games as much as this kid? Do you ever find yourself getting almost lost in the world of a game? If so, describe this experience.

  
3.
In “Blowout,” the main character tells his sister, “There are countless stars.… Nobody will miss this one.” What characters from other stories do you think have the same sort of philosophy about their actions or powers? What advice might you give them? Do you think this is a good or bad attitude to have in real life?

  
4.
Compare and contrast the stories in which vampires appear in terms of their relationship to humans, their sense of morality, and their powers. Which story do you feel had the most unique or surprising type of vampire? Explain your answer.

  
5.
“Little Bread Riding Hood” is a fractured—or twisted—version of a classic fairy tale. How does your knowledge of the original “Riding Hood” tale affect your reading of this story? Does it make it funnier or more surprising? What other fairy tale do you think would lend itself well to a “fractured” retelling, and how?

  
6.
Which story or stories in this collection do you think best explore what happens when characters are selfish or lack compassion? Which stories pit the physically or socially weak against the strong or popular? What might you conclude are the best—and safest—qualities and behaviors a kid can have to survive a world of aliens, vampires, and ninja weenies?

  
7.
How are “Evil Is in the Eye of the Beholder,” “Thresholds of Pain” and “Day Careless” similar in terms of the main characters' insights into themselves and those they encounter in the story? How might the word “compassion” be used to describe these narrators?

  
8.
Describe the ways video games, television, and other scientific contraptions (such as time machines) are woven into this collection. What conclusions (serious or humorous) might you draw about the care and use of technology after finishing this book?

  
9.
In “The Art of Alchemy,” geeky Marvin tells bully Lenny that “anticipation is torture.” How does the author use this insight to craft his scary stories? How might you rephrase this observation as a writing tip?

10.
In the final line of the final story of the collection, the vampire narrator tells readers, “It's not like I'm some kind of monster.” Describe at least two ways this last line could be understood. Who do you think are the worst “monsters” in this story collection? Why do you think David Lubar felt this was the “scariest story” in this anthology?