Bewitched and Beyond: The Fan Who Came to Dinner (18 page)

I was able to talk with her for a little while, so knowing her feelings about
Bewitched,
I prefaced the conversation with, “I’m the guy you probably never wanted to meet… But I have to tell you how much I love and adore you, and everything you ever did, because
Bewitched
literally changed my life!” She was actually attentive so I proceeded to tell her how. I explained the
Bewitched… Again!
premise and she actually said that she liked it (then again, what else would she say to a fan… in public… at a funeral… of “Darrin”…?)

She had been very sweet and very cordial, but also politely trying to get away from the conversation. I don’t think she really knew what to say, and wanted to avoid talking about
Bewitched.
She explained that she had “moved on” from that part of her career, but was quick to acknowledge that no matter what she did… And that was when I politely interjected, “Even if you shot the President”…. And she laughed and said, “Exactly! Whatever is written about me will probably say, “Former
Bewitched
Star Shoots President…” and that was more or less, the extent of our conversation. No, I did NOT ask her to twitch her nose and no, it was not the time or place to ask for a photo.

But despite her misgivings, Elizabeth Montgomery was an incredibly warm and wonderful human being whose time on Earth was cut way too short.

The following evening, Kasey and I decided to break out the Ouija board, which we had done quite often before. I know what you’re thinking, but it was so much fun and led to quite an experience.

After only a few moments of playing around with the board, we were both certain that we had Dick “coming through loud and clear,” and he sounded very
angry
! (Work with me here…) He seemed to be annoyed with Albert, his partner at the time.

To make a long story short, Dick seemed bothered about something that he had put on a piece of film and had apparently hidden in the shower head in the upstairs bathroom!

Our
mission
(should we decide to accept it) was to retrieve it, and give it to Elizabeth Montgomery, who would know exactly what to do with it! Okay, I know it sounds a bit far-fetched, but I
swear
to you, that was the message that came through that night on the Ouija board! We recorded it on a cassette so anytime you can come and hear it! LOL. With that, Kasey and I found ourselves off on yet another adventure!

Enlisting the aid of Sandy Gould, we managed to get Albert to invite us over to dinner. Oh yes…!

As luck would have it, the small downstairs guest bath was also being remodeled and out of commission, which coincided perfectly with our plan.

Kasey came prepared with a pair of needle nose pliers hidden in her purse. Sandra had a wrench! Sometime during the course of dinner, she quietly slipped them to me, and I politely excused myself to go to the restroom. Just as we hoped, I was directed
upstairs
!

Kasey and Sandy kept everyone busy as I unexpectedly encountered
two
upstairs bathrooms; a master and a guest.

I chose the guest bath first, where the shower head unscrewed easily.

But much to my disappointment I found
NOTHING
!!

Knowing that time was fleeting, I quickly rushed into the master bath, pliers in hand, to find that this shower head would not budge an inch, no matter how hard I tried!

Also knowing that one can only go to the bathroom for so long before people begin to worry, I had no choice but to go back downstairs and tell the gals what had happened when no one else was listening. Needless to say, we were very disappointed. And Sandy, who didn’t want to give up, kept wanting to go back and try it all over again!

Often we couldn’t help but wonder, “Was it really there?!” But because of limited time and a stubborn showerhead, I guess we’ll never know.

All was not lost though. We did receive a great parting gift that evening, which I found out about when we got back home. “Klepto-Kasey” had
lifted
a small black and white picture she found on the floor partially hidden under the rug in the dining room. It was a photo of Dick when he was a 13-year-old cadet in military school!

One last bit about Dick (as I sit here editing this four years after I first wrote it). I just came across a small tin wind up cat that he had given me. Sargent used to collect vintage and antique tin windup toys.

The living cast, the bronze cast and me! The coldest June day in Salem, MA 2005.

Darrin Stephens, 13 year-old cadet.

Chapter 26

Farewell to the 1990s

1999 saw an increased activity in our writing. With all the holiday parties we had hosted, and the decorations we’d carefully hand-made, Kasey and I decided to give Martha Stewart a run for her money! We found a publisher willing to take a chance on Kasey’s name, and together, created our first craft book,
Halloween Crafts: Eerily, Elegant Décor.

Trying to find a location to shoot the pictures to be included in the book wasn’t an easy task. Feeling strongly that Hallowe’en should always have an antique or Victorian look, we were somewhat disappointed having just been turned down by a chain called The Spaghetti Factory, which showcased a lot of really impressive antiques. But luckily I then remembered having driven by a museum called The Stagecoach Inn in Newbury Park, about eighteen miles up the road from us.

We met with the director, Sandy Hildebrandt, and she was happy to accommodate our request.

This particular location couldn’t have been more perfect — a rustic, Victorian looking hotel with a barn, pioneer cabin, parlor, and a haunted cradle. It was just right!

We shot pictures in every nook and cranny we could find, and ended up using the same location for our next three books.

(Trying to make the pioneer cabin look like Christmas with artificial snow in 100-degree heat was an incredible challenge, but not impossible.) Some shots called for us to put on turtle necks and coats in order to make the picture look like the dead of winter. Because of the stifling heat, we were pretty miserable, but laughed about it later and were very pleased with the final result.

As repayment, Kasey and I decorated the museum for every major holiday over the next two years. Later, we got involved with the museum’s annual October program called “An Evening on The Conejo” (Conejo means rabbit and is the name of the valley in which the Stagecoach Inn sits).

During the event, guides would take visitors on a walking tour through the park trails, while encountering actors playing people from a century past. They would eventually take us into the barn, the cabin, and finally the hotel itself. Everyone being dressed in full period costumes of the era and the festivities taking place at night by lantern light added greatly to an entertaining and pleasurable evening — one with an extremely authentic feeling.

Kasey and I were in the first scene the guests saw on their journey. Kasey played “Momma” and I played “Professor Montenari,” the Medicine Man.

The scene would open as Kasey is heard complaining how I brought her out to this “Godforsaken” land. I’d turn a deaf ear and continue to hawk my snake oil to the audience!

I must have been pretty convincing because on more than one occasion, there were some guests who actually wanted to purchase my doctored-up beer bottles for a buck each! Not wanting to step out of character, what else could I do but gladly accept their money?!

“…with this elixir, you will soar as the falcon soars, run with the speed of gazelles and command the powers of Earth and Sky! It is the same magic, authentic potion used by the priests of Isis and Osiris in the days of the pharaohs of Egypt. When Cleopatra first plied her womanly wiles on the likes of Marc Antony and Julius Caesar and… uhm… uh…‘Boston Blackie’!”

It was left up to us to come up with our own lines. If you recognized any of the above it is because we plagiarized everything from Professor Marvel’s lines to Dorothy in
The Wizard of Oz,
to the opening sequence used in the Saturday morning kids program,
The Secrets of Isis
! And Kasey would flirt unmercifully with any “gentleman caller” that came down the trail! Even offer her “room key” at the hotel! Brazen!

You might find this hard to believe, but we were a hit! HA!

We would do the show six times an evening for two consecutive weekends. Then, being the first scene to finish, we’d make our way

to the makeshift dining room in the basement and eat a free dinner that those in the audience had to pay for. Show business does have its perks! We stayed in character and “entertained the troops” half the night!

While out driving one day I was lamenting to Kasey, “Where are we ever going to find such a tree?”

In what was split-second perfect timing, she replied, “How about there?!” as she pointed to the most perfectly gnarled, dead tree that was sitting right in someone’s front yard.

Oh how I coveted that tree from the minute I saw it.

Then, miracle of miracles! One day those very homeowners were having a yard sale! So we stopped the car and told them that we didn’t really come to buy anything at the yard sale. We were more interested in buying something in their
yard,
as I pointed to the old, twisted tree. The owner looked a bit perplexed, but rather quickly said, “Fifteen dollars”! HA!