Bewitching Kisses (Bewitching Kisses Series) (22 page)

How could you have fallen in love with a man who only wishes carnal knowledge of you?
Her mind challenged.
He does care for me
, her heart would reply.
He's kind and gentle and he took me into his home . . . But he's never said he loves you
, her conscience taunted.
Well, I've never said it, either.
Over and over her mind argued with her heart until Sarah could stand no more. Wearily, she dressed, knowing there was no hope of rest and that the day would be more than full. The household was just coming to life when she tiptoed down the hall, taking great satisfaction that the door to Nick's room was still closed. Instinctively, she knew he still slept and her step grew lighter.

Downstairs, Sarah went directly into the parlor where Agatha rested and reslanted the wooden blinds. She lit the candles that surrounded the casket, then, reaching over, carefully removed the netting that had draped the casket for the night. Gently she smoothed the satin blanket that covered Agatha's legs and feet.

"I'm not repentant for last night," she whispered to the still form. "I know to lie with a man outside the bonds of marriage is a sin, but I feel no remorse." Sarah looked down at her shoes. "I can't ask for forgiveness knowing the choice was mine and willingly made." Her eyes looked up to the lifeless form that rested before her. "I know how much you loved Nick. You even took me into your home to protect his reputation. But last night he needed me, we needed each other."

For a moment she stood in silence, fighting the knot of tears that lodged in her throat. "If I stay, I can only offer temptation for that which is not holy." Her soft voice quivered in pain as she gazed about the parlor with its dark blue walls and brocade draperies, then back to the coffin. "My heart will remain in Virginia, but I'll leave your grandson free to make a good marriage without a hint of scandal to mar his name." Sarah touched Agatha's cold hand in a final good-bye then slipped a small brooch into the pocket of Agatha's gown. "This is very dear to me," she whispered. "Catherine made it for me and 'tis the only thing I possess that has not come for you or Nick." Taking a shaky step, she moved back from the casket. "When I'm home and memories of this misadventure grow dim with age, know that in my heart, I shall never forget you."

The day moved slowly. Neighbors and friends began arriving hours before noon and soon the house was filled with people. Sarah busied herself helping Luther at the door, greeting those who came to offer condolences as well as those who came only for a look inside the grand Beaumont house. Food was consumed at an alarming speed, and by mid-afternoon Sarah was grateful for the abundance that had been prepared the day before. She monitored the dining room and kept Tanzy and Ruby busy with constant trips to the cookhouse.

Nick kept vigil by the parlor door doing his best to console those who had come to comfort him; families he had known since childhood, officials from Jamestown, and merchants he hadn't even realized Agatha knew. He didn't miss the looks of question directed toward Sarah, but he offered no comment. Chairs had been arranged about the room for those who wished to linger, either in prayer or in memory, but Nick kept his distance from those who would have wished more.

He watched Sarah move gracefully about the room, and the shadows beneath her eyes were a constant reminder of their time together and how badly he had treated her. Her virginity had stained his sheets and he hadn't even given her tenderness. His hand rubbed over his jaw in disgust. He had fallen asleep like a selfish swine, never giving a single thought to her feelings. And of all the days to sleep late . . . he stormed silently, for there had not been a private moment he might share with her since rising.
Just grant me another chance,
he pleaded with fate.
Tonight, after everyone is gone and the house is quiet, give me the opportunity to show her how much I care
.

The Reverend Jeffers launched into another mournful prayer, and Sarah wondered why the man didn't offer comfort and hope instead of taking the opportunity to preach on the miseries of hell. She ached to go and stand at Nick's side or take his hand within her own to give comfort, for the lines of strain by his mouth etched deeper with each passing hour. But thoughts of him trying to explain away the night before was something she wasn't yet ready to face.

More than a hundred strong they had followed the wagon that carried Agatha Beaumont to her final resting place. The earth had been cleared away next to her husband's grave and Nick stood in silence as the ropes were lowered and spades of dirt were passed. His eyes touched briefly on the graves or his parents, but his grief went completely to the grandmother he'd laid to rest.

The sun had long since disappeared from the sky before the trying day was over. Wearily, Nick closed the door behind the last mourner, but, despite his exhaustion, he felt a curious weight lift from his shoulders as he stretched. Pulling his stock free and unbuttoning his waistcoat, he entered the parlor to find Luther setting the last of the chairs back into place. The braces on which the casket had rested had already been removed and the room looked neat and tidy as always.

"You did a fine job today, Luther," Nick said, walking to the side bar and pouring two brandies. "Come," he extended the glass, "I think we both deserve this."

Luther hesitantly reached for the glass. "Miss Agatha, she don't fancy the staff drinking." He sniffed the amber liquid, then took a healthy swallow and sighed with appreciation. "Damn but that's good. You think Miss Agatha would mind?"

Nick downed his own, enjoying the drink's fiery path and the warmth that settled in his stomach. Reaching for the decanter, he poured them each another. "Luther, if Gran is in heaven tonight and peering over a cloud to watch what's going on . . ." He swirled the liquid in his glass then looked up at the servant. "I'd say she must be feeling damn proud of how you and Oscar and the others handled everything today."

Luther's weathered face broke into a sad grin. "Thank you, sir. But most of the credit gotta go to Miss Sarah. She was the one that kept things moving. Between greeting people in here with you and seeing to the platters in the dining room, why, I don't think she sat down once today."

Nick stretched again and set his glass back on the tray. "And just where did Miss Sarah disappear to? I haven't seen her since the minister left."

Luther savored his last swallow of the fine brandy. "Mrs. Hempsted made Tanzy take her up to bed about thirty minutes ago. Poor little thing was almost asleep on her feet." Luther replaced his own glass and picked up the tray. "If you don't need me now, Master Nick, I'll just see to these glasses."

Nick nodded. "Luther, you and the others have a good rest tomorrow. After today, you deserve it."

"Thank you, sir." Luther started for the doorway, but his step was slow.

"Is there something else?" Nick questioned.

Luther shifted nervously from foot to foot. "Master Nick, this probably isn't the time to speak of it, but we, the staff and me, we was wondering just what's gonna happen to us. We know you can't use all of us over at your house. Wadsworth would have a fit."

Nick crossed the room and placed a comforting hand on Luther's shoulder. "I haven't a clue as to what we shall do with the house yet, but you can reassure all the servants that everyone who wishes to stay will keep his employment. You served my grandmother well, and I'll not forget it."

"Thank you, sir." Relief flooded the man's face.

Nick reached over and pinched out the final candle, then followed Luther into the hall. "I'm going home tonight and I'll take Miss Sarah with me. You make sure you and the others have that rest tomorrow. I'll be back the day after with some decisions and we'll talk then."

"Thank you again, sir," Luther stammered, looking close to tears. "You want me to have Tanzy fetch Miss Sarah?"

Nick paused at the foot of the stairs. "I want you to find your bed. You look exhausted. I'll see you the day after tomorrow."

A knowing grin brightened Luther's troubled features as he watched Master Nick purposefully climb the stairs.
Maybe things is gonna be all right after all he thought
.

Sarah awoke to the click of the latch on her door. "Tanzy is that you?" she called wearily. "I told you I didn't want any supper."

"Good, then you'll not mind that I didn't bring any."

Sleep fled completely at the sound of Nick's voice. "What are you doing here," she gasped, siting up and pulling the covers to her chin. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness, and in the hazy moonlight she could see Nick's tall form standing just inside the doorway.

"I'm tired and I'm going home," he said.

She felt her pulse quicken with dread. He was going to tell her now. He'd say the words that would make the night before an absurd folly caused by the strain of Agatha's death. But Nick said nothing. He crossed the room and, taking her hand, pulled her gently from the bed.

Before Sarah could gather her wits, his lips were on hers. Stunned by the onslaught of sensations, her arms reached up to circle his neck. His tongue brushed across her own and she pressed closer still, feeling her breasts flatten against the hard muscles of his chest.

Reluctantly, Nick broke the kiss and gazed down at her. I've wanted to do that all day," he sighed against her lips. "Each time I looked up and saw you from across the room, I wanted to scream for everyone to leave so I could hold you."

Her fingers gently touched the lines at the corners of his eyes. "You need your bed." He captured her hand, placed a kiss in its palm. The sensation shot to her toes.

"That's exactly where I am going." Reaching behind her, he tugged a blanket from the bed, then flipped it around her shoulders like a cape.

"What are you doing?" she gasped as he scooped her into his arms and opened the door.

"I told you, I'm going home."

"But . . ."

Nick stopped at the top of the stairs, his eyes dark and intense as he gazed down at her. "I'm going home, and your place is with me."

He hesitated for the briefest moment, and Sarah knew she was being given a choice. It would take only one word and she would be back in her solitary bed to spend the night alone. But her needs were too great to do what she thought was right, and as her arms crept up to encircle his neck, her body snuggled closer to the warmth of his chest. "Take me home, Nick," she whispered, and both knew she wasn't referring to Salem.

He had held her close to his side during the ride home, urging the horses to maintain a fast clip as the stars winked down on them in the open carriage. The cool night air tugged at her hair and touched her hot cheeks, yet did nothing to extinguish the flames that burned beneath her skin. Her anticipation heightened, but with it came uncertainty.

Sarah could only stare in wonder when Nick placed her gently in the center of his bed. His eyes fixed on hers as he shed his coat and waistcoat then tugged his white shirt over his head to join the growing pile on the floor. The bed dipped with his weight as shoes and stockings were pulled off, and still his gaze held hers captive.

Hesitantly, Sarah reached out and let her fingers trace down the lean muscles of his side. His flesh jumped, his eyes darkened, and a heady satisfaction seeped into her nervous limbs. But when he rose and his hands moved to the buttons on his breeches, Sarah jerked to a sitting position and tore her eyes from his as she reached to extinguish the single candle.

Nick caught her hand and brought her fingers to his lips. "I didn't see you last night." His words sent shivers up her spine, leaving goosebumps in their wake. "Tonight I want to see you." He watched color flare in her cheeks and again was touched by her innocence.

Carefully he sat on the edge of the bed, feeling the tremors that flowed from her fingers as he held her hand within his own and silently he cursed himself for blundering the night before. His thumb rubbed gently over her palm, needing to soothe, then skimmed inside the sleeve of her gown, needing to excite.

Sarah felt her bones turn to water as his fingertips worked their magic. They traced up her arms then paused to pull her hair free from the blanket. His hands slid into her hair, and when he inched her closer she melted against him like winter snow in a spring thaw. "You are so beautiful," he whispered, his breath warm on her throat. "And you belong to me."

Sarah's heart soared with the sound of his words. He loved her! His hand palmed the back of her head, bringing her slowly closer for his kiss, and in that simple gesture came more sweetness than she could ever have imagined. Her heart sang,
he loves me
, and her soul filled with joy. She twisted off the bed, shedding the blanket and her caution in the process. Hitching her nightrail past her knees, she straddled Nick's lap, startling them both with her boldness. For Sarah, her newfound joy could not be contained, and when the heat in Nick's eyes grew brighter, she let her arms rest on his shoulders as her bare legs encircled his hips.

"I wanted to touch you so badly today," she whispered, as her fingers toyed with the hair at the back of his neck.

Nick slid his hands about her waist and pulled her closer still, wondering what had caused the sudden transformation. "It's a good thing you didn't or I might have taken you right there on the floor."