Beyond Chance (12 page)

I ripped into the roll and put the meat
inside. For some odd reason, it provided the distraction I needed
as he continued.

“When we were in Afghanistan absolutely
nothing happened between us.”

I cringed knowing that meant at some point
something may have.

“She was persistent, and I’m sure I gave her
the wrong signals.” He took a sip of water. “When we returned from
Afghanistan, Jason and I needed to concentrate on MSOC. Jason liked
to joke that I wanted to join purely to avoid dealing with
Elizabeth.”

My heart stumbled at the pattern of
avoidance that never seemed to stop.

“Was it?”

He shook his head and then contradicted his
gesture. “Well, maybe. Anyway, she got transferred to another base,
and I assumed that would be where the friendship ended. We never
had a date, let alone a relationship of
any
kind. When Jason
and I made it through training and into MSOB, I never gave her
another thought. I thought the friendship had run its course.”

I slowly chewed my sandwich and braced
myself for whatever might be coming next. He wasn’t in the military
all that long and so far, he’d relayed events that covered quite a
bit of time.

“I know I sounded like a dick last night and
today. I don’t take being in love lightly or being engaged. I just
figured I’d have time to tell you everything before it got twisted,
but I was wrong. I left that part of my life behind for a reason,
and I honestly never had any intention of bringing it up again.
It’s nothing I’m proud of.”

I knew what I saw online, and his sentiments
toward the entire situation made no sense.

“I don’t understand.” I scooted closer and
touched his hand. “Your actions saved countless lives. How can you
not be proud of that?”

Scathing laughter cut through me as he shook
his head. “Our military is the most powerful organization on the
planet. They’ll make even the most deplorable of situations seem
okay.”

I refused to take his simplified answer.
“Are you telling me you didn’t save those people I read about?”

“No. I’m not telling you that, but I’m also
willing to tell you that I was responsible for twice as many
deaths.”

A prickle of apprehension ran across my
flesh as my mind tried to comprehend what he was trying to tell
me.

“But you were in war. We are in war,” I
offered.

He nodded. “Doesn’t make it any easier.”

Part of me wanted to know the details, and
the other knew not to ask. My father had always told me never to
ask a soldier questions I didn’t want answers to. I learned that
lesson the hard way when one of his vet friends, from the first
Iraq war, sat in our living room at Christmas. I had asked him if
he’d ever killed anyone. The question sent a shockwave through the
living room, but it was nothing compared to his answer, which was
that he’d happily killed more than one. Granted, I was only a child
when I asked, but it was something I never should’ve brought up,
and something I’d always regretted. It was rude on so many
levels.

Now I wanted to help carry that burden for
the man I loved, but I knew it was too much for even our shoulders
combined. Taking another life, no matter the reason, had to pierce
one’s soul.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.

“Don’t be. I knew what I signed up for. I
wanted to be in the most elite killing squad the world had, and
that’s what I achieved. It would have been fine.” He nodded. “That
was my job, but to get slapped with a hero status when I came back.
I could reconcile being one or the other, not both…” his voice
trailed off.

And that was when I realized Aaron was a man
full of contradictions because his life had been built with them. I
took his hand in mine and squeezed it.

“If you hadn’t done what you did, dozens of
families would have been without their children, their parents. You
said it yourself. What you did in Afghanistan was your job. You
were fighting for our country. When you came back on our soil, you
didn’t have to do what you did.”

“It’s not that simple,” he said.

I had read the countless articles explaining
Aaron Thatcher’s heroics. A gunman had opened fire at a church in
Massachusetts. According to the articles I read online, it was pure
chance that Aaron had been at the church. He was visiting a friend
in the area, and that was when it clicked. That friend had been
Elizabeth.

“You may not want to see yourself as a hero,
but that’s exactly how I see you. How I’ve always seen you.
Fighting for our country automatically put you in that category
whether you like it or not. And I have to admit that no matter how
much I love Gabby, I always connected with your side of it more. I
knew there was more that you weren’t sharing.”

He let out a deep breath.

Our legs were touching, and I felt the
strength in his grip as we silently looked at each other.

“You did what you had to do,” I finally
whispered. “And I won’t pretend like I know what that feels
like.”

“I wouldn’t want you to,” he replied. He
pressed his lips together and leaned against the back of the
bench.

“So you were visiting Elizabeth?” I
asked.

He nodded. “She was training at Fort Devens,
and I had some leave and always wanted to see that part of the
country. She had continued to stay in touch, even though I really
hadn’t, so I took her up on her offer to be my local tour guide.
Jason warned against it, but none of us knew what would transpire.
I’d already been in the New England area touring around for five
days before I stopped in to see Elizabeth. I got into town on
Thursday and by that Sunday, my life changed forever. We went to
the early morning service. I really hadn’t wanted to spend my
vacation at church, but I figured I had no choice. She’d been
gracious enough to show me around. I picked her up late, but she
refused to let that stop us from attending church. We’d gotten
there about twenty minutes late, which was fine by me since we
missed the singing. Anyway, we sat in the back, and I hadn’t really
been paying attention to the sermon. I noticed a guy come in, and
he seemed overly jumpy. He was wearing an overcoat that he never
took off, and the place was really warm so he had to have been
uncomfortable. The guy didn’t take a seat. He stood behind the back
row across from us. Within minutes of him being there, I began to
feel what I’d felt in Afghanistan right before I pulled the
trigger, but I wasn’t the one behind the gun.”

Aaron took another sip of water and then
continued, “That’s when I realized that sensation was rolling off
the man. He was about to open fire. I didn’t reach him in time. He
wounded some folks before I was able to take him out with his own
gun. He died before the medics got to the church. I wish I could
tell you I had remorse, but I didn’t. I saw the look of pure hatred
resting in his eyes. He had intended to kill as many innocent
people as he could. I remember hearing the screams and cries from
everyone in the church as the pastor ushered everyone through a
door behind his podium, which led to a small chapel. I made
Elizabeth follow them all as I stood there with the man’s blood
pooled on the floor, dripping from the pews, and splattered against
the wall. It was my worst nightmare, but I was in my own
country.

“Everything happened so fast, and it didn’t
take long before the media arrived to film me coming out of the
church. It was a madhouse and I couldn’t run from it. It followed
me everywhere I went. Elizabeth had been by my side the entire time
things unfolded, and people began referring to her as my
girlfriend. That was the least of my worries so I never bothered
correcting anyone. I didn’t realize the ramifications that would
have. I didn’t understand how big the story was going to get. My
life became a circus, and I wanted nothing to do with any of it.
The press was making a big deal out of nothing.”

I stared at him in awe.

“The military really spun things to their
benefit as well. I knew they needed to do that. Press about the
military isn’t always the best,” he sighed.

“You don’t say.”

He grinned and licked his lips before taking
a sip of water. “Honestly, it’s nothing I like to talk about. The
attention was undeserved and quite lopsided when I frame it up with
everything else that I’d done in my life.”

I shook my head in disbelief. The many sides
of Aaron seemed at odds with each other, yet they were all needed
in order to define the man he’d become. Learning about this put
into perspective so many inconsistencies that I didn’t understand.
There was much more to his story than what was even online, let
alone what he even told Gabby. The depth to Aaron was staggering,
and it seemed like I’d only scratched the surface.

“Oh, my god,” I whispered.

“What?” he asked.

“I remember you. I remember the story. I
can’t believe I didn’t put two and two together.”

“Why would you? It was a long time ago…”

“But still. I remember now. It was on all
the channels. I was in high school.”

Aaron nodded. “My worst fear about the whole
thing was that Gabby would see something about it in the news. I
was a complete fraud. I abandoned my little sister because I was
too cowardly to stand up to our dad, and here I was being declared
a national hero. It was complete garbage and wrong on so many
levels. The least of things she needed to see was her long-lost
brother being hailed as a hero. I was no hero. It was just
happenchance that I was there.”

“I don’t know how she didn’t see it,” I
muttered, shaking my head. “You were everywhere.”

Aaron let out another sigh. “Yes. I
was.”

“How in the world she didn’t notice you if
not on television, at least at the grocery store. You were on all
the magazines.”

He nodded and had a pained expression. “When
I left Gabby, I looked a lot different than I did when everything
happened. The military will make a man out of even the most scrawny
individual.” He attempted to grin, and I couldn’t help but smile at
the man who I’d so deeply misunderstood. “Not that I was ever
scrawny.”

“So over about the spread of six months,
Elizabeth somehow became known as my fiancée, even though I never
asked or gave her a ring. I didn’t question how that story got
spread. I didn’t want to know. Anyway, I went on with my life and
as quickly as I was thrust into the spotlight, I fell from it.
Jason and I developed our product and then we both jumped ship the
moment we could.

“The sad thing is that I think Elizabeth
actually told her friends that we were engaged. I’ll admit I leaned
on her a lot during that whole time, but I never thought I gave her
that idea. Shit. I mean, we didn’t even sleep together. I mean…come
on.” He flashed a devilish grin, and my cheeks reddened at this
revelation.

Having all of the pieces of Aaron’s hidden
life emerge and paint a complete picture of the man I fell in love
with made my spirit rise to the occasion. I never should’ve
second-guessed him, but I hoped that going forward, we wouldn’t
hide anything big or small.

“I felt bad that she got carried through all
that. Some story even ran about her being dumped by me. I have my
suspicions who leaked that one.”

“Tracy?” I asked.

He nodded. “But whatever. When Elizabeth got
out of the service, she worked a few low-paying jobs, and then she
came up with the idea for her business. By the time she reached out
to me, I was already working with my father again. I thought it was
the least I could do to help get her on her feet. Plus, she had a
really good idea. It honestly never occurred to me that the worlds
would collide, so to speak.”

“It’s so damn hard to stay mad at you when
you have such good excuses. I’m the one who should be apologizing.
I should have trusted you and what you had to say last night.
Instead, I’ve spent my first day in Paris sleeping and raising
hell.”

Aaron laughed and threw his hands up. “Let’s
not get carried away. I should have filled in the woman I want to
spend the rest of my life with.”

His admission sent me to the clouds and
back, and I hoped one day I’d be lucky enough to fulfill that wish,
but in the meantime, I needed to understand Aaron’s motives and
take comfort that he’d begun to share with me parts of his life
that he’d tried to forget.

“Patience has never been one of my virtues.”
I folded my arms and stood outside the door to the studio. I was
perched on the top stair waiting for him to let me see what he’d
been working on the last three weeks.

“That’s okay. I love all your others. Now
give me one more second,” Aaron hollered into the hall.

“Okay. Your one second is up.”

“How about two seconds,” he laughed.