Beyond Hope's Valley: A Big Sky Novel (30 page)

"Look at you, Marianna. It's been so long." She stretched out her hand and gripped Marianna's shoulder. "You shouldn't keep yourself a stranger. We are going to be family soon and all."

"
Ja
."

The woman didn't even cast a glance at the baby.

"I've jest been helping out my brother and Naomi. Little Samuel here has been most
gut
, but he's had colic some. It's amazing how someone so little takes up so much time. But I'll talk to Aaron when I see him. Should be coming over tonight." She rocked the baby as she talked. "It's been since Christmas from when I've been over and I agree that's far too long."

"
Ja
,
gut
." Mrs. Zook looked down at the baby. "Tell your brother I offer congratulations?"

"I will—" Music flowing through the store caught Marianna's attention. Her stomach fell and her knees softened. She straightened her shoulders, trying not to give away the lightness flooding her.

It was Ben's voice! She was certain it was his. She'd know it anywhere. "It was
gut
seeing you. I need to pick up some things." Without waiting for Mrs. Zook to respond, Marianna hurried to the back of the store and cocked her head to listen.

Your gray eyes a'dreamin', your smile so warm

could melt all the ice from the cold winter's storm,

And by the March thaw, my soul came to life

When I asked gray-eyed girl to be called my wife.

You settled my heart, you warmed up my life

The day you agreed to be called my wife.

You said:

We're nothing alone, We're everything together

Aches all fade when someone helps you weather

The hard times,

I'll enter your heart, I'll enter your life

Every warm cabin,

Needs a good wife

Her heart did a double-beat. First to hear his voice—to hear Ben's voice all the way in Shipshewana, Indiana—and then to hear him sing about a gray-eyed girl . . . was it possible? Could he be singing about her?

"So you like this song too?" The sale clerk neared, pointing to the speaker from where the music flowed.

Marianna readjusted the baby in her arms. "
Ja
, uh, it's nice. It's the first time I've heard it." She patted her kapp. "I don't take to listening to much music, you know."

"No, of course," the woman clucked her tongue. "Oh, it's been popular for months. He was supposed to do a concert in South Bend next month but it was cancelled."

"He?"

"The singer, Ben Stone."

Hearing his name, heat rose to her cheeks, and she hoped the woman didn't notice. What would the woman think if she were to tell her that she knew Ben—knew him well. In fact, she believed the song was written about her. She shook her head. The woman wouldn't believe her at all. That someone like him could have ever cared for someone like her.

"So, is he going to reschedule?" Marianna tried to keep her voice nonchalant.

"Doubt it." The woman puckered her lips. "He was in jail last I heard. Something to do with killing a friend." The woman shrugged. "I don't keep up with all those entertainers, but a story like that is hard to miss."

W
ith wide strokes of the broom Marianna swept Aunt Ida's barn. She'd already done the evening chores and was taking her time waiting for Aaron to show up. Aunt Ida had invited them both over for dessert—the first time since the baby was born. Her aunt was sure to have an opinion on all that was happening with Levi and Naomi and their upcoming wedding. Marianna just wanted to make sure she had Aaron by her side when she talked to her aunt. She needed his stability. His presence.

The barn door opened and Aaron stepped through. His eyes fell on hers and in four long strides he was there, sweeping her up in an embrace, pulling her close.

Since hearing Ben's song in the radio she'd been wound up like Aunt Ida's alarm clock, but at the warmth of Aaron's arms, Marianna melted into his embrace.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingertips finding the soft skin between his hair and his shirt collar. She spread open her hands and her palms stroked his shoulder blades and down his arms' tense muscles. His strength overwhelmed her. She needed Aaron's strength right now.

What had the woman meant when she said Ben had been arrested for killing a friend? Surely the woman had been mistaken. Surely it was another singer . . .

Aaron held her as she clung to him, and then he pulled his head back, trying to look at her face. "You doing all right, Mari?"

"Shhh . . ." She snuggled her head into his neck.

"Marianna?"

"I'm all right. I jest missed you that's all."

He held her and she pressed her cheek against his chest. She closed her eyes and told herself to remember this—to hold fast to the feeling of being in Aaron's arms without the questions and concerns of the world pressing in on her.

He pulled back. "So did your parents get off all right?"

She nodded and took a step back. "My uncle Ike called one of Levi's Englisch friends and told him to give us the message. They're coming with a driver to pack up all their things."

"Are you okay with that?" Concern filled Aaron's gaze.

"
Ja
, I believe I am. It's the right decision for the family, although I wish Dat would let Levi and Naomi have our home here. It would be
gut
for their growing family."

Aaron's hands released from around her waist. "
Ja
, too bad." He lowered his head and looked away. "Maybe Levi will have to work hard to build her a home like I built yours. I didna have my father give me a home."

She pulled back and studied his face. There was something behind that statement she couldn't understand. Pride in his own efforts? Disapproval over her brother's decisions?

"Well"—he smiled—"we better get inside, don't you think?"

She nodded, but inwardly cringed. For the first time, Aaron reminded her of his mother. Not so much his words, but the accusation behind them. And as she thought about that, she knew she'd heard such a tone from him before. Not so blatant, but there all the same.

Marianna shuddered and couldn't help wondering . . .

How long would it be until such words were aimed at her?

Marianna had only heard Ben's song once, but she had a hard time shaking the words—his voice—from her mind. The next morning, after helping Naomi with her chores, Marianna headed over to visit her friend Rebecca. Though Rebecca still lived with her parents, she was still set on leaving the Amish. If anyone would understand Marianna's torn emotions, Rebecca would. They packed a small picnic and walked to the creek they'd often visited as children.

They sat underneath a shady tree and new life sprouted up in every direction. Above, two birds chattered and sang and Marianna couldn't help but smile at the gift of bird song.

Yet even though the day was beautiful, Rebecca looked thin, pale. She shivered and scooted so she could have more of the sun's warmth upon her. The slight tremble reminded Marianna of snow upon tree branches in Montana, quivering on a windy day.

Marianna pulled a sandwich wrapped in wax paper out of their brown paper sack and glanced at her friend. "Can I tell you a secret?"

Rebecca's head tipped up and a slight smile lifted her lips. "
Ja
, especially if it's about a certain boy."

"Well . . ." Heat rose to Marianna's cheeks. "
Ja
. It is. I heard something yesterday . . ."

Rebecca gave her her full attention. "Jest looking at your face, Mari, I can tell you're in love. It's what you always hoped, isn't it . . . those feeling all stirred up inside? The knowing of your care for him."

"Yes, well, I didn't know what to expect. And it's not appreciated. I mean, I shouldn't let my feelings be running away like this."

"Not appreciated? You have what you always wanted, who you always wanted. You focused on getting the best, Marianna, and Aaron's that."

Aaron.
Marianna nodded. Then, like a knife piercing her between the shoulder blades, she knew she couldn't tell Rebecca that she'd been thinking about Ben.

That had to remain her secret.

Marianna nodded. "He is, isn't he? Everyone in this community respects Aaron."

"So . . . Rebecca scooted nearer. Her eyes sparkled as if a warm candle burned in her gaze. "The secret?"

"The secret." Marianna clasped her hands together. "Um . . . Her mind moved from the memory of holding Ben's guitar to the kind way Aaron had cared for her siblings. Aaron was a good man. "I was just going to say I having a feeling my brothers are going to be more excited about seeing Aaron than me. They got along well when Aaron was in Montana." She blew out a soft breath.

"I doubt that." Rebecca scowled. It was clear she'd been hoping for juicier news. "
Ja
, well, your parents should be coming back soon, right? Then you'll all be together again."

Marianna nodded, but deep down she had a feeling that wasn't going to be the case. How could she explain that things wouldn't be easy here in Indiana? Yes, she'd see them again, but how would Mem would deal with Mark being so close? How would both her parents face leaving their home?

"
Ja
, they should be here tomorrow, jest in time to rest before getting up for church service on Sunday."

"Wait, tomorrow's Saturday?" Rebecca sat up. "That means today's Friday?"

Marianna nodded.

"I thought it was Thursday. I have to work today." Rebecca rose and brushed dirt off her skirt. "I'm sorry, Marianna." She called back over her shoulder as she hurried to her house. "We'll have to do this again, soon!"

"We will!" Marianna called after her. And as she settled back into the grass she realized she was alone. She could use this time to think, to pray. To seek God on things that mattered most to her heart.

Marianna sat near the creek for hours. What a gift. One she hadn't expected. For most of her life she wouldn't have imagined spending a day like this. "Idleness is the devil's worship," Mem had said nearly every day of her life. Her father often joined in, declaring from the very first book of the Bible God told them to work by the sweat of the brow to produce food. She knew her neighbors mistrusted a soft and leisurely life and wanted to keep their children from being lazy, but wasn't there a balance? The Bible talked about Jesus going away to pray and David writing hymns on the hillside. As she sat there, a hymn she knew from childhood rose in her heart.

"
Wo ist Jesus, mein Verlangen, mein geliebter Herr und Freund?" Where is Jesus whom I long for, my beloved Lord and friend?