Beyond Love Lies Deceit (13 page)

She shifts slightly against me, her nose crinkling in the cutest fucking way as she snuggles deeper into my arms. It’s the best fucking feeling in the world. But even as I watch this peaceful angel sleep in my arms, this perfect beautiful girl that seems so innocent, I can’t help but wonder what she’s hiding behind those big chocolate eyes of hers.

I can sense it when she looks at me, the way she averts my gaze when the conversation turns to her. Something just doesn’t quite add up here and yet I can’t seem to put my finger on it. Trying not to put a damper on the morning, I quickly shake the thoughts away.

Allie once again shifts, this time rolling away from me, her petite body becoming even more tangled in the white linens that cover the bed. I can’t resist the urge to reach out and trail my hand lightly down the smooth curve of her back, loving the way her skin seems to react to my touch even though she is lost to sleep.

Finally deciding I should get up, I reluctantly roll out of bed and quietly cross the space of the bedroom, slipping on a pair of boxers and a white t-shirt on my way out the door.

Deciding to order some breakfast, I have the coffee table in the living area lined with every single item on the hotel’s breakfast menu by the time Allie stumbles out of the bedroom forty-five minutes later in an oversized t-shirt She hits me with a crooked smile, pushing her disheveled hair away from her face as she slides down on the floor across from me and snags a piece of bacon, biting the tip off before saying even one word.

“I’m so hungry.” She laughs, giving me an apologetic look after swallowing her bite of bacon.

“Good.” I laugh, gesturing to all the food I ordered.

“What time did you wake up?” She seems surprised to find me up so early given how late of a night we had.

“About an hour ago.” I stack a couple of pancakes onto the plate in front of me. “You were sleeping so peacefully, I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“I can’t remember the last time I slept so well.” She admits, her statement immediately bringing a smile to my face.

“Perhaps when we get back to California I can show you what a good night’s sleep really entails. You wouldn’t believe how incredible it is falling asleep to the sound of the ocean waves crashing around you.” I say, noticing instantly the way her expression falls as if I have just reminded her of something she didn’t want to remember.

Setting down her half eaten bacon, she grabs a napkin and wipes her hand, refusing to meet my gaze.

“Allie?” I question, feeling like I just said something wrong.

After several long silent moments she finally meets my gaze, the sadness behind her eyes damn near knocking the wind right out of me.

“What is it?” I pry, needing to know what happened that changed her demeanor so quickly.

“We should probably talk about what happens when we return home.” Her voice shakes as she speaks and it’s clear to see she’s very nervous.

“We don’t have to rush things Allie. This doesn’t have to change everything the moment we return.” I reassure her. “There’s no pressure here.” I tack on, sensing maybe she feels like I have certain expectations.

“That’s not it.” She shakes her head, the sadness in her eyes only growing. “Look, these past two days have been probably the best in my life.” She looks down, knotting her hands in front of her as she considers how to say whatever it is she plans to say next.

“It’s just... Well, I can’t...” She hesitates.

“You can’t what?” I push, the anticipation reaching a boiling point inside of me.

“I can’t continue to see you outside of a professional manner Luke.” She hits me with an apologetic look. “I’ve really enjoyed our time here, more than you know, but you are my boss and then there’s Ryan to consider.” Her eyes widen slightly as she immediately takes in my reaction.

“Ryan?” I spit his name like its acid burning my tongue.

“You knew coming here that him and I were... Well, I’m not really sure what we are.” She admits.

“I knew you two had seen each other a couple of times. I just kind of assumed after the last two nights that this would no longer be the case.” I state, trying to keep my voice calm.

“I just... I don’t know.” She lets out a deep sigh, clearly trying to hold herself together.

“What don’t you know Allie?” I cock my head slightly. “It’s pretty simple really. Are you or are you not planning to continue to see Ryan when we return to California?”

Her bottom lip quivers slightly and I can see the answer in her eyes before she even utters a word. This realization sends me into a rage I didn’t know this girl could make me feel. Pushing off the floor, I am already walking away by the time Allie manages to get up as well.

“Luke wait.” She calls after me, causing me to spin around to face her just as I reach the hallway. “It’s not that simple.” She tries to explain.

“But it is that simple Allie. Either you’re with me or you’re not. Either you plan to go back to my brother after fucking me or you don’t. What part is so hard for you?” I regret the tone I take with her but I can’t reel it in. I can’t hide how bad this fucking hurts.

I have spent my life competing with Ryan. Most things I don’t care to let him win, but this... This is something else entirely.

“Luke, please. It’s complicated.” Allie pleads, the look on her face completely contradicting the way she claims to feel.

If I mean so little to her that she can just drop me for my brother then why are tears flowing down her face like she can’t stomach the devastation she feels? I have to fight the urge I have to soothe her, to pull her into my arms and tell her that everything will be okay. She is the one doing this, not me.

“You know what; I will un-complicate it for you. This...” I gesture between the two of us. “This never happened. Going forward you are nothing more than my assistant and you will conduct yourself as such.”

“Luke.” Her voice calls to me once again but I wait until I reach the end of the hall where my bedroom is located before turning back to her.

“It’s Mr. Scott.” The statement seems to knock the wind out of her slightly.

When she sucks in a raged breath, it takes everything in me to hold my tone.

“I will arrange for a car to pick you up outside at two. Make sure you are ready to go by then Miss Reynolds.” I step inside my room and slam the door shut.

––––––––

S
amantha

The car ride to the airport is one of the worst I have ever experienced. I have not seen Luke since this morning and every second I get closer to seeing him again my stomach knots tighter. I know I handled the situation this morning poorly. I shouldn’t have just dropped it on him like that. I should have waited, maybe for the plane ride back when I knew he couldn’t run from me, when he would have been forced to let me explain.

But isn’t that exactly what he tried to do; give me a chance to explain? He tried and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t come up with one good reason to tell him. I know that I have them but it’s not like I can just tell him what my true intentions are. If I think he hates me now, I would hate to see his reaction to the truth of my situation.

When the car pulls up next to the small jet on the private air strip, it takes everything I have to peel myself out of the backseat. I let out a deep breath the moment I step outside and try to keep myself calm leading up to the very moment I step on the plane. My nerves ease slightly when I realize that Luke is not yet on board.

Taking a seat in the last of three rows of two seats, I slide in next to the window and immediately turn my attention outside. The spring day is gorgeous, sunny skies, birds chirping, and for a brief moment I mourn the loss that this city brings. First Sean and now Luke.

Though I refuse to compare Sean’s death to my fallout with Luke, I also can’t deny that both will have an impact that will most likely follow me for the rest of my life.

A man like Luke doesn’t come along every day, especially for someone like me. The thought of never feeling his arms around me again is almost too much to stomach. Blinking away the quickly forming tears in my eyes, I take a few calming breaths, trying to pull myself together.

I turn my attention to the front of the plane when I hear someone step on board. The moment Luke comes into view, I suck in another sharp breath. Gone is the loving, laidback, boxer wearing Luke that I spent the last two days with. He’s been replaced by a stoic, quiet man draped in a perfectly pressed business suit; his crystal eyes hidden behind a pair of aviator sunglasses.

He doesn’t acknowledge my presence as he takes a seat at the front of the plane. It takes everything in me to stay in my seat. I want to run to him, tell him I was wrong, that it’s not Ryan I want but him. And while all of that would be true, nothing else would be.

Luke deserves someone that can give themselves to him completely. I should have never put myself in this position, but when you come face to face with the very thing you want possibly more than anything else, it’s not that simple to just walk away. When I’m with Luke it’s like another person takes over.

It’s like Allie disappears and the girl I really am, the one that deep down just wants to find more, comes blazing to the surface. I can’t fight against my own heart; I never have been able too. But knowing the promise I made to myself and to my family has to trump everything else. Even the fact that my heart is literally breaking in two right now.

This isn’t about me or even Luke. This is about Allie. The woman I created to do what Sam is not strong enough to do; face the person who ruined it all and finally make him pay.

As the plane takes flight, I say a silent goodbye to the girl I found in New York; the one I lost a long time ago, the one Luke brought back to life with just one touch. I tell her I’m sorry. I tell myself I’m sorry.

Swiping away the one tear that manages to escape my eye, I turn my attention from the sky to Luke sitting just a few short feet in front of me. I whisper a silent apology to him as well, knowing that I will never forgive myself for pulling him into all of this. I just hope one day I can make it right.

****

“W
elcome back.” I glance up to see Ryan leaning casually against the doorframe of my office.

“Thanks.” I give him the best smile I can muster, having forgotten during my time away just how deeply my hatred for this man runs.

“So I hear you worked wonders in New York.” He pushes away from the door and crosses the space towards me before sliding down into one of the chairs across from me.

“I’m sorry?” I question, panic immediately rising in my throat.

Certainly Luke wouldn’t tell him...

Would he?

I had never considered that possibility until just now.

“Luke said you had the Porters eating out of the palm of your hand. According to him you are the only reason we were able to close the deal with Cyntech.” His smile widens and I silently let out a slow breath of relief.

“Well I don’t know that I would go that far.” I shake my head. “Luke did all the work, I just showed up.”

“Don’t be modest. I’ve had the displeasure of speaking to that son of his directly. Not an easy crowd. Luke made a good call taking you along.”

“Well thank you.” I finally concede, not feeling up to going back and forth with him over something so minuscule.

“How about we head out early to celebrate?” He suggests, straightening the cuff of his suit jacket before meeting my gaze again.

“I really have so much here to catch up on.” I answer truthfully, knowing that leaving early to go out with Ryan might just be the thing that costs me my job.

“How about after?” I throw out the suggestion, knowing I need to start moving things along with Ryan if I ever hope to gain any ground.

“Deal.” He agrees, his smile widening. “Want me to pick you up at your place?” He asks, standing.

“How about I just meet you in the lobby? Say sixish.”

“I love sixish.” He gives me a devilish grin as he slowly backs out of my office, his eyes lingering on my face for a long moment before he finally disappears into the hallway.

“Ryan.” Luke’s voice pulls my attention back to the doorway just moments after I look away, his sudden presence startling me.

He nods to his passing brother, the look on his face showing his dislike for finding him leaving my office, before turning his attention back to me.

“Miss Reynolds.” His expression turns hard as he steps inside my office and addresses me. It’s clear to see this is the last place he wants to be.

This is the first time Luke has spoken a word to me since yesterday morning in New York.

“Yes?” I meet his gaze, not entirely sure how to address him.

“Do you have the breakdown for the Cyntech acquisition finalized? I need to present the final contracts at my three o’clock meeting.” He says, his tone clipped and emotionless.

“I just finished it actually.” I say, turning my attention to my computer. “I will email it over now.” I say, glancing back up to Luke.

“Thank you Miss Reynolds.” He answers, nodding once before disappearing from my office.

The entire interaction leaves a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I can’t help but feel like he came in here simply because he saw Ryan leave and that thought makes my heart constrict slightly.

I don’t want to hurt Luke, it’s the last thing I want, but I know that trying not to hurt him at this point is all for not. I’ve already hurt him, the way he’s treating me is clear indication of just how deeply.

I wish there was something I could do. I wish I could rewind the past seventy-two hours and do them all over again. But even I know there is not one choice I would have made differently. I won’t regret the moments I spent with Luke. I can’t. No matter how badly our time together ended, it was in those moments together that I felt more alive than I ever have.

How could I ever regret one second of it?

––––––––

S
amantha

“This place is incredible.” I say, looking around Ryan’s massive downtown apartment complete with a spiral staircase that leads to a second story and a wall of windows offering an amazing view of Los Angeles.