Authors: Antoinette Stockenberg
"
No,
"
she said, although no one besides her aunt Mary had ever done it. The name sounded so different on his lips, so completely, utterly erotic. Her response to it was almost embarrassing: a hot, wet rush of desire.
"
You seem to
'v
e said the magic word,
"
she confessed with a stricken smile.
He had taken her by the shoulders; his eyes burned bright with obvious desire.
"
Lena
,
"
he repeated, shaking his head.
"
Oh my God.
Lena
. How did we get here?
"
His mouth descended on hers, and it was the kiss of her dreams, the kiss she
'
d imagined during every empty night of the last four years, the kiss that made her forget, if only for now, how much she
'
d loved her husband. Long and deep and full of aching need, it left Helen wanting more. Her lips opened and her tongue met his, as she slid her arms around his back and returned the kiss with a breathlessness that left her light-headed.
Dizzy from him, drunk from him, she gave herself up completely to the sensation of being wanted again by a man. Satisfied and frustrated all at the same time, she found herself staggering along a high-wire of emotions without a pole.
Get down safely while you can, a
voice warned her from the ground. But who could hear it above the roar of her desire?
"
We
can
'
t
...
do this,
"
she said in panting snatches between more kisses.
"
We
'
re
...
on a
...
bench.
"
"
The sparrows don
'
t care,
"
he said, nuzzling her neck, kissing the lobe of her ear. He brought his soft lips back to hers, tasting her, heating her, driving her mad.
"
Ooo-ooo-ooo,
"
came a taunting voice from
a
pack of kids as they walked by, nudging and elbowing one another.
That did it.
"
They care,
"
Helen said, her warmed cheeks burning with
a
whole new heat. She began to pull away, afraid to look at the kids for fear there
'
d be someone she knew. Hard on their heels came
a
frowning older couple, not at all amused.
"
And those two definitely care,
"
she added, averting her face from them. Reluctantly, she took hold of Nat
'
s wrists to unhand herself from him.
"
If
either of my kids behaved like this in public, I
'
d feed
'
em to the gulls,
"
she said, sobering up at last.
He laughed and said,
"
You
'
d rather they did this in private?
"
She thought about it and said,
"
God, I hate teenagers.
"
"
C
'
mon,
"
he said, standing up and offering her his hand.
"
Let
'
s walk.
"
They went back to
Derby Street
, then walked out to the end of ghostly
Derby
Wharf
to see what they could see and feel what they could feel. Nat knew an astonishing amount about
Salem
'
s maritime history and brought it all to life for Helen, who became shivery and teary-eyed as he described the mind-boggling hardships of life aboard a full-rigged ship.
They sat on the grassy finger of land and looked out at the twilit sea; and they kissed, and eventually they strolled
back down the empty wharf, stopping to kiss again along the way. The night, warm and still and the shortest one of the year, had descended at last, wrapping itself around them like a soft black veil.
The dark has come
much too late
,
Helen thought, deeply moved by all she
'
d seen and heard.
I
have to go home now.
Nat was telling her of
an argument one of his merchant
ancestors supposedly got into with Nathaniel Hawthorne during the time the author, strapped for cash, worked as surveyor in the Custom House just across the way from where they stood.
They stared appreciatively at the elegant Federal-style brick structure with its massive stone steps, tall Palladian windows, and eight-sided cupola. Helen had seen the building thousands of times in her life; and yet, before tonight, she had never really seen it at all.
"
If Mr. Hawthorne were at his perch there now,
"
she mused,
"
I doubt that he
'
d be too impressed with our behavior.
"
"
Hey, he stuck up for Hester Prynne,
"
Nat said.
"
I don
'
t think he
'
d mind.
"
He kissed Helen again, just to prove his point, and Helen thought of Hester and her scarlet letter and shivered unaccountably.
"
Poor Hester,
"
she said, brimming with emotion when he released her.
"
They were so cruel.
"
Nat became more thoughtful as he caught her hand in his and they resumed their walk.
"
The Puritan ethic produced some damn good capitalists,
"
he said,
"
but I guess we know the downside.
"
Repression. Intolerance. The infamous witch trials.
He
'
d pressed one of Helen
'
s hot buttons.
"
Who could forget?
"
she said.
"
No one in
Salem
, that
'
s for sure. Every time you turn around, you bump into
a
witch on a broom handle. The damn logo is everywhere: on our paper
'
s masthead, souvenirs, stores, restaurants—the doors of our
police cars and
fire engines, for pity
'
s sake! We seem awfully proud of that summer of hysteria,
"
she said with her usual distress.
"
What an image to cultivate!
"
"
You
'
re one of the sensitive ones,
"
he said, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and stealing a kiss.
"
Why doesn
'
t that surprise me? Look at it this way. The Puritans were the original capitalists; and now the capitalists, with their cartoon witches, are exploiting the Puritans. I see poetic justice there.
"
"
But there
'
s so much more to
Salem
!
"
"
Oh, admit it,
"
he teased.
"
The occult is fun.
"
Helen felt the blood drain from her cheeks.
"
I don
'
t think so,
"
she said faintly.
"
Not
'
fun.
'"
He tried with a light touch to kiss away her seriousness, but Helen protested.
"
It
'
s not that I
'
m down on tourism—
"
"
Helen, you don
'
t have to apologize,
"
he said, laughing.
"
Lots of Salemites are ambivalent about the witching trade. But if it shores up our tax base, I say—go for it!
"
He took her in his arms and rubbed his chin in the curve of her neck, taking a long, deep breath of her.
"
You smell divine,
"
he said.
Don
'
t tell me
Enchantra, she thought.
Don
'
t.
"
Earthy and sexy and—God, Helen,
"
he said, his voice catching in his throat.
"
You
'
re making me crazy.
"
Of course she was, she realized; he hadn
'
t had sex in months. It wasn
'
t hard for her to convince herself that Nathaniel Byrne was simply deprived and on fire. But there was nothing she could do to convince herself he believed in ghosts.
She wanted, suddenly, to get away. She was playing with fire and in danger of being caught with the matches. If he had any idea that she believed she
'
d been contacted by his dead wife...
"
Wow,
"
she said, sighing.
"
I
'
m beat. This has been just an incredible day.
"
It was the verbal equivalent of wriggling out of his arms. Nat looked surprised and rebuffed, but he said softly,
"
You must b
e. I'll walk you to your car."
****
Becky was waiting for her. She took one look at Helen and said,
"
Mother!
You
did
it with him!
"
"
I did
not!
"
Helen said, scandalized. She thumped her bag on the hall table and marched past her daughter into the kitchen.
Becky was right behind her.
"
Your mouth is all puffy and your face is flushed,
"
she noted with glee.
Helen pumped soap lavishly into her hands and began a surgical scrub at the sink.
"
I
'
m exactly the same as before I left,
"
she said, scowling.
And why the hell am I washing up in the kitchen?
Frustrated that she couldn
'
t have a second
'
s privacy once she walked through her front door, Helen added,
"
I
'
m going to use some of this soap in your mouth, young lady, unless you get out of here while you can. Beat it.
"
"
Okay, you don
'
t want to talk about it. That
'
s cool with me,
"
Becky said with a lofty air. On her way out she lifted a fold of her mother
'
s dress in back and let it drop.
"
But you
'
d better get some Wisk on those grass stains before it
'
s too lay-ate.
"
On Monday the Stickneys withdrew their son from The Open Door. On Tuesday it was the Comfords. Neither couple offered a reason. Helen had never been faced with three successive withdrawals before—it was like being fired three days in a row—and
so she forced herself to say
to Mrs. Comford,
"
May I ask why?
"
Mrs. Comford
'
s smile was brisk, her manner brief.
"
We
'
ve decided against an urban preschool. It
'
s too
... urban. You will let me know about my registration fee?
"
"
Of course,
"
said Helen blankly, dropping back in her office chair as if she
'
d been slapped.
Mrs. Comford was barely out the door when the phone rang.
"
Hi,
"
Nat said.
"
It
'
s me. I waited a day so that I wouldn
'
t seem anxious; but now, of course, it
'
s made me anxious. When can I see you again?
"