Authors: Karice Bolton
The doctor shut the door behind me and
motioned for us to take a seat near the nurses’ station.
“Ayden is a very lucky man,” the doctor
began.
“I doubt he’d agree at the moment,” Mason
replied.
The doctor nodded and continued. “If the
punch that rendered him unconscious had been a centimeter to the
left, it would’ve been immediate death.”
My breath caught, but I stayed focused as
the doctor kept talking.
“As it stands now, he has only a slight
skull fracture, and there is no evidence of bleeding on the brain.
The TBI—”
“What’s a TBI?” Mason interrupted.
“Traumatic brain injury,” Brandy responded.
It was sometimes easy to forget that Brandy experienced much of
this with her accident.
“It’s a concussion. However, we’re not out
of the woods yet. I feel it is my obligation to be honest about his
recovery. We’ve not induced a coma. There is no need since we saw
no indication of swelling of the brain, but he does remain
comatose. The MRI shows no sign of severe brain injury. But we need
to be extra vigilant over the next forty-eight hours to monitor for
bleeding between the dura mater and the skull. That type of
bleeding is often slow to appear. We will keep a close watch on him
through the night. Until he wakes up, we won’t know what all we’re
dealing with.” He stopped. “How extensive his injuries are.”
I felt the numbness start in my toes and
slowly work its way up my body until I was completely emotionless.
I no longer had the luxury to let my emotions get the better of me
so it was better to deaden them all. I glanced at Brandy, whose
expression lacked the hopeful glint I’d seen when the doctor first
started talking to us.
“Like what in particular?” Mason asked.
“Fatigue, blurry vision, nausea, impaired
motor and verbal skills, amnesia.”
“You’re saying he could have amnesia when he
awakes?” Mason questioned, standing up.
“That was a risk for me, and I woke up just
fine,” Brandy said, attempting to calm her brother down.
Mason shrugged Brandy’s touch away and sank
back down into the chair, holding his head in his hands.
“Do you have statistics?” I asked.
“Percentages of head injuries like his that have resulted in any of
the problems you listed?”
The doctor shook his head. “Unfortunately,
head injuries are far too unpredictable to be able to gauge
accurately. What might impair one individual doesn’t scathe
another.”
I nodded and saw Mr. and Mrs. Rhodes coming
up the hall between us. They hadn’t noticed us. They were
concentrating too hard on which room Ayden was located in. I stood
up and motioned toward them, trying to get their attention, but
they were too focused on finding their son.
“Your parents are here,” I told Mason and
Brandy.
Mason lifted his head and stood up
quickly.
“Can you please fill my parents in?” Brandy
asked the doctor. He bowed his head slightly, and we watched his
mom run into Ayden’s room.
A bellowing sob came from the room and my
chest tightened. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t go in there. Not
right now. I glanced at the doctor and took a seat back down as
Brandy and Mason walked over to the room to meet their parents.
“Is talking to him okay?” I asked the
doctor.
“Touching him and talking to him are
imperative. We don’t know how much patients hear, but we know it
helps.” He nodded and turned around, making his way to the
room.
I sat back in the chair and forced away the
wave of tears that threatened to overtake me. The numbness I’d
built up was failing, and emotion I wasn’t ready for began working
its way into the cracks.
For the first time, I let myself think about
our child.
Our child.
I’d dreamed of Ayden holding our baby,
smothering the bundle in kisses, and changing diapers, and now the
thoughts took my breath away. This wasn’t how our life was supposed
to go.
He won that fight. He trained for it and won
the match fair and square. The anger started flowing freely again,
and I closed my eyes to calm myself down. It was no use. There was
nothing that could be done to change the past.
“Lily.”
I looked up to see Ayden’s mom, her arms
outstretched toward me. I stood up and without hesitation, I fell
into her arms as our tears began to flow. I felt Brandy wrap her
arms around us both as we leaned on one another for the strength
that would get us through the night.
There was no word for this kind of pain. It
hurt so badly. The agony melted into our blood and pumped through
our hearts, minds, and souls. Each memory was a sting of what was,
and an aching reminder of what might never be again. Dreams were
replaced with nightmares, and the twinge of tomorrow’s promise long
lost in sorrow.
But we had to remain strong.
No more tears.
Ayden was going to get through this.
I took a deep breath in and sniffed away the
last of my tears until Ayden woke up, and they were tears of joy. I
felt Brandy’s embrace soften, and she took a step away as her mom
and I broke free.
Brandy blotted her eyes with tissue and so
did her mom. I used my hand.
“I feel much better,” I whispered. “We’ll
get through this, but most importantly, Ayden will get through
this.”
“I don’t understand,” Ayden’s mom began.
“How did this happen? What kind of monster would attack my
son?”
I looked over at Brandy’s startled
expression and sucked in a deep breath. There was no good way to
tell her that her son was involved in illegal fighting.
“What aren’t you two girls telling me?”
My gaze fell to the white linoleum, and I
wondered if it was my place. I felt like a traitor each time I
almost opened my mouth, but seeing the pain in her eyes killed me.
She deserved the truth.
“He was attacked in a parking lot after a
fight,” Brandy said.
“What kind of fight?” Her brow rose.
“It was a fight that Ayden had entered.”
“He did this to himself?” His mother’s anger
bounced on every syllable.
Brandy and I both shook our heads.
“Absolutely not. He won that fight fair and
square,” I said, my pulse pounding. Ayden didn’t bring this on
himself in any way, shape, or form.
“Then how did he end up here?” she
questioned.
“Ayden’s opponent was angry he lost. We were
all getting in our cars when he attacked Ayden,” Brandy said
softly.
“You were there when it happened?” She
crossed her arms and Brandy nodded.
“We all were. We go to all of Ayden’s
fights.”
His mom’s shoulders sank at the latest
revelation, and my heart ached for her. I understood the power of
secrets.
“Please don’t be mad. It was something he
loved to do,” Brandy began. Her mom took a seat and placed her head
in her hands, slowly rubbing her temples. Brandy’s dad came out of
the room, wiping a tear away. He beelined toward us.
“Did you know your son was a fighter?”
Ayden’s mom asked, lifting her head to stare at her husband.
“A damn good one,” his father replied.
“You knew and never told me?” his mother
whispered.
“When did you find out?” Brandy asked,
crossing her arms.
“I’ve known since his first fight.” He
turned his attention to his wife. “And the reason I never told you
was to not worry you. I knew he had no intention of giving it up,
and I wanted to keep the peace between the family.”
She shook her head. “I want to be mad at
you,” she looked at her husband before turning her attention to
Brandy, “And you, but you’re right. I would’ve made things a living
hell had I known.”
Ayden’s mom stood up and let out a deep
breath. “Let’s go visit our son. He needs us all united now more
than ever.”
I glanced at Brandy who seemed somewhat
relieved but still tentative. I think she knew once—if—Ayden woke
up there’d still be hell to pay from his mom, but until that
moment, we were going to act as if nothing was wrong. I let his
parents go in front of us as they walked toward Ayden’s room.
“That could’ve gone far worse,” I whispered
to Brandy.
“I think she’s still in shock. I’m sure it’s
barely started. She hates being left out of the loop, and it
doesn’t help that my dad knew.”
“I had no idea he knew, did you?”
She shook her head. I watched Ayden’s mom
walk to her son’s bed. She pulled his hand up and placed a gentle
kiss on his knuckles.
“I’ll go talk to Gabby and everyone so
they’re not stuck in the ER waiting room not knowing,” I said
softly.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you. They’re in the
waiting room on this floor now. The doctor told Mason and me out in
the hall.”
I nodded.
“He also said once Ayden wakes up, Aaron can
come in.”
“What about the others?” I asked.
She shook her head. “Not until he’s moved to
a different unit.”
I gave her a quick hug and watched her go
into the room with her parents. I wanted them to have some time
alone with their son and brother, and I needed some time away as
well. Not because I didn’t want to be with Ayden every waking
second, but because I needed to absorb what the doctor said. I
needed to lose myself in the possibilities of what our future might
hold. And I say future because I knew Ayden would wake up. He was a
stubborn fighter, who had a lot to live for.
I walked through the doors and spotted the
signs for the waiting room, but instead of going toward the
comforting faces that would embrace me, I pushed the elevator
button and waited for the carriage to arrive. Exhaustion had
finally settled over me, and if I couldn’t have caffeine, I at
least needed to fool myself into believing I was drinking it. I
stepped onto the elevator and pushed the lobby button. I was sure
there’d be a coffee stand or cafeteria somewhere.
As the doors opened onto the first floor, I
stepped into the hallway and scanned for a sign leading me to where
I needed to go.
Where I needed to go.
I needed to go somewhere to escape my fears.
I wanted to be able to forget about everything for five minutes,
but I knew that was impossible. I wandered toward the espresso cart
that was framed by two large ficus trees. There must’ve been some
study that showed interior plants calmed people down with as many
as they had placed around the building, but as I stared at the
plants I noticed no difference.
I studied the chalkboard menu, finally
deciding what to get.
“I’d like a white chocolate mocha, decaf.
Please.”
“Decaf?” the barista asked.
I nodded. “I’m pregnant.”
I was stunned at how easily the words rolled
off my tongue to a complete stranger.
She wrote on the cup and smiled. “Well,
congratulations.”
“Thank you,” I almost whispered.
The thought of announcing our pregnancy at
our rehearsal dinner, suddenly felt very far away, almost
unattainable. The dreams I’d planted in my head about how we’d tell
everyone were clouded over by the uncertainty of our future.
I paid for my order and waited for the drink
to come out the other side as the memories came crashing into my
mind like a wild storm.
Ayden working out in the gym.
Would his motor skills be impaired?
Ayden telling me he loved me last night as
our bodies entwined.
Would his verbal skills be impaired?
Ayden holding me, kissing me, making love to
me.
Would he even remember me?
The barista called my drink, and I wrapped
my fingers around the paper cup, wishing I hadn’t let myself tangle
privately with my thoughts. The snare of emotion was far too raw to
think logically about our relationship. I took a sip of the sweet
drink and found a chair to slide into as I debated whether or not
to call my parents.
I thought about the family upstairs, how
close they were, and how lucky I was to be a part of it. If I lost
Ayden, would I lose that too?
I slid out my cell phone and dialed my
mother’s cell number, and after a couple rings, she picked up.
“It’s a little late to be calling, don’t you
think, Lily?” she asked into the phone.
I let out a silent sigh.
“I still haven’t heard back if you and dad
are coming to our wedding in a couple weeks. Ivy and Heath already
said they weren’t coming.”
A sparse couple of seconds settled between
us as I got my answer. They couldn’t even be bothered for a
wedding.
“Your father and I haven’t RSVP’d because we
were trying to rearrange our schedule. It’s not like Bermuda is an
easy destination to get to.”
“Actually, mom, it’s pretty simple. One
flight to the east coast and a shuttle flight to the island.”
“Well, it happens to be on the same night
our country club auction is happening and this year, your father
was chosen as the MC. It’s quite an honor.”
“I’m sure it is,” I replied flatly.
“We’ll try to make it, dear,” my mom said.
“But no promises.”
“I gathered that,” I said. “Okay. I thought
I’d check before I sent the final numbers to the coordinator.”
“Okay, dear. I’ll talk with you soon.”
And she hung up.
I gave a disgusted laugh, which warranted a
few glances from people sitting around me, and I stood up. I’d
known in my heart since I sent out the invite that my mom wasn’t
coming to the wedding, but I wanted to see if I could tell her
about Ayden. Every now and then I wanted to find out if I could
somehow crack through her callousness enough to confide in her, to
treat her like a mother, my mother. The answer was always
disappointing.
But after today, I wasn’t sure it really
merited any more effort. I had a family and fiancé waiting for me
upstairs. I walked toward the elevator and Gabby hopped right off
and threw her arms around me.
“Brandy said you’d come to see us and when
you didn’t, I got worried.”