Beyond the Edge (27 page)

“Hi.” His voice sounded a bit guarded—not the usual enthusiastic greeting I'd gotten used to. The relief I felt helped me overlook it.

“Hi. Are you at work?”

“Yeah.”

“Me too. I can't talk for long but I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Huh?”

“I stopped by your place last night, about nine thirty. You're roommate said you were out. I didn't know where you were, and then I didn't hear from you today…” Jesus, I sounded like his mom, except his mom probably didn't worry this much.

“How was your date?” he asked. I still sensed some coldness to his tone, but I could tell he was trying to be reasonable.

“It was…interesting. He, um, wanted me to go home with him. But I said no.” Actually, I'd said “Not tonight,” but somehow I knew that wouldn't go over well.

“Oh?” he said, feigning indifference.

“I really wanted to see you last night.”

“Really?” I heard the guardedness melting away and his genuine feelings for me beginning to come through.

“Yes. Really. When I didn't know where you were or who you were with, I didn't like it.”

“I was with a friend. A good friend.”

“Oh, yeah?” Now it was my turn to sound guarded.
A fuck friend?
I didn’t say it.

He laughed softly. “Her name is Susan.”

“Oh. That’s…good.” The relief that flooded through me left me feeling light and relaxed. More relaxed than I’d been all day.

“You’ll have to meet her sometime. She’s a painter and a dancer. Really talented and such a sweetheart. We’ve been friends since grade school.”

I couldn’t help smiling. “She sounds amazing.”

“She is. Um, I have to get back to work.”

“Okay. Come over tonight?”

He laughed. “Tate, I’ve got to do laundry. It’s really piled up. How about tomorrow?”

“Okay. Sleepover?”

“Sure. That sounds great.”

“And bring your pup gear…” I said softly into the phone. “If you want.”

“Okay. Sure.”

§ § §

I wanted to make something special for Sebastian on Friday, so I went grocery shopping and picked up all the ingredients for lasagna. He’d told me lasagna was one of his favourite foods. My usual recipe called for chicken instead of beef, and specialty cheeses, and always turned out delicious. I knew he’d love it. I also made a Caesar salad and bought some fresh bread.

When I picked him up he tossed his overnight bag in the trunk of my car and threw himself inside, leaning over to kiss me hard and hungry.

“I’ve missed you,” he said.

§ § §

He loved the lasagna, and the salad and bread. I watched him eat, feeling this huge happiness inside me, because I loved looking after him. I wanted to look after him forever.

After supper I pushed my chair away from the table and asked if he wanted to be my puppy for the evening. He nodded with a sweet smile. “Do you want me to put on all the gear?”

“Whatever you want, Hon. Whatever makes you comfortable.”

“Want me to help with the dishes?” he asked as he stood.

“Nope. I want you to get geared up and come sit at my feet, like a good pup.”

“Oh, fuck, Tate. You don’t know how long I’ve wanted someone to say that to me…”

“Go on then.” I shooed him along, quickly loading the dishwasher and wiping the table.

When I finished, I sat on the couch and picked up the book I was currently reading, a mystery/thriller that a friend had suggested.

I became so involved in it that I didn't hear Sebastian come out of my room until something brushed against my leg. I looked up, into two beautiful blue eyes in a leather dog mask, just about level with my knee. It took my breath away.

“Hey, Blue,” I said, my hand reaching out automatically to pat his head. He pushed up against my hand as his eyes closed for a moment in pleasure. He'd kept on his jeans and shirt, and left out the tail. But he had the hood on and that was all it took to get him into pup mode.

It was such a weird situation, looked at objectively, but it didn't seem weird at all to me. It felt right and natural. I fell into the role of human pup master with ease and enjoyment. I told him to lie down which he did right away, relaxing against my legs and putting his head down on his arms. As I read my book I savored the warm pressure on my calf and the sound of his breathing. I felt at peace.

After awhile I got bored with my book and put it down. I patted the couch next to me, saying “Up, Blue,” just to see what would happen.

Immediately, there was a hundred and sixty-five pound human pup beside me, nudging me, pushing me, and staring at me with excited blue eyes. I laughed in pleasure, pulling him onto my lap. “Want a belly rub?” I said cheerfully.

When he rolled onto his back in my lap, offering his belly, I noticed a telltale bulge in his jeans. He must have felt the bump pressing against his back from my own because he rubbed against it and barked.

“Somebody feeling frisky?” I asked, eyebrows raised.

He barked again, wiggling on my lap. I rolled my eyes. “Well, you are just irresistible, aren't you?”

I slid my hand beneath his t-shirt, rubbing his belly slowly as his eyes rolled back. His skin still felt silky smooth from the waxing and mud bath. I pushed his t-shirt up so that I could feast my eyes on the beauty of his torso, then traced the skin over his ribs and around his navel. I licked a finger and teased the brown bud of his nipple and, finally, slipped a hand under the waistband of his jeans, feeling the hot, hard flesh there. He whimpered and wiggled on my lap.

“Easy, boy…” I stared into his blue eyes as I undid the fly of his jeans. I took his cock out, rubbing it slowly, watching his eyes dilate with desire. “Does that feel good?”

He whined and thrust into my hand. I let go of his dick and grabbed his jeans, hauling him over so that his butt perched on my lap and his dick thrust up right below me. I took it in both hands, bending down and engulfing the tip in my mouth.

He whined loudly, then struggled beneath me, making noises that were slightly more human now.

I worked his cock with passionate skill as he lay across my lap, his moans and cries urging me on, but I didn't want him to come. Anyway, my neck and back hurt from bending over, so I stopped after awhile and just looked down at his half naked form sprawled across me. He calmed his breathing, gazing up at me adoringly.

“Will you take off your pants?” I said, my breath coming quickly now, my cock so hard I just wanted to bury it in my boy's ass.

He nodded, struggling to push his jeans down and off. I helped him until he was naked from the waist down.

“Go get the lube, it's in my night table.”

He did, bringing it into the room looking like a modern day Anubis, the Egyptian dog god, except that he wore a black t-shirt and carried a tube of Astroglide.

I had opened my jeans and pushed them down to my thighs so I could stroke my cock, while I watched him. He dropped to his knees, staring at me from those blue puppy dog eyes as he coated my cock with lube. I groaned. I could hardly wait to be inside him.

“On my lap. Now.” I growled fiercely, taking the lube from his hand as he climbed up onto the couch, kneeling up over my straining cock. With speed and efficiency I prepared his sweet hole and then threw the lube to the floor. We held each other’s gaze as I spread his cheeks and positioned him over my dick. He reached between his legs, holding my cock as he sat slowly down on me.

Pleasure erupted in me as he sank down on my swollen cock, heightened by the image of him in his pup hood. I pushed his black t-shirt up so I could see his beautiful chest, and as he rocked gently on top of me, I teased one of his nipples with my fingers.

“Fuck!” I swore, as my cock twitched and pulsed inside him. I wouldn't last long. The image of him, the feel of him around me, and the emotions both these things evoked, filled my soul as much as I filled his body. We moved together in a timeless rhythm, our sounds of pleasure filling the small apartment.

Things happened quickly then.

I spat on my hand, gripping his cock, stroking him as I fucked him. He threw his head back, moaning and whimpering as I brought him to climax. He shot thick white come up in the air between us as my own cock erupted inside him. I yelled and probably squeezed him way too hard as his orgasm ebbed and mine took over. The intense pleasure washed over me repeatedly as we joined each other in bliss. We collapsed together, panting and shaking with release.

We slept entwined, our earlier physical union serving to unite us in an emotional cocoon of affection. I’d never felt so intimately connected with another person.

But as I fell into a deep sleep, the image of James asking me to go home with him haunted my dreams. What would have awaited me there? Anything near to this? Perhaps something better? Was that even possible?

§ § §

We spent the next day alternately playing puppy, fucking, and exploring every avenue of pleasure together. I bathed him and fed him like he was a real pup on Saturday evening, an activity from which he derived an obvious amount of bliss. There was nothing sexual about it, surprisingly. We had fucked so much by then we both felt physically exhausted. It became about me caring for him and looking after him, and it fulfilled some deep need within him that I didn’t really understand but cherished all the same. I was pleased to be able to provide this for him and to satisfy him in ways other than the obvious.

I insisted he take the pup hood off at bedtime, so he could sleep with me as the human boy I loved so much, even though I knew he would have happily slept at the foot of the bed if I’d commanded it. The thought pleased me for some inexplicable reason.

§ § §

The next morning, over breakfast, I broached the topic of James and what he had asked me. “He wants to know if you and I are going to be exclusive.”

Sebastian stopped chewing and stared at his fork for a moment. Finally, he spoke. “So…what did you tell him?”

“I said that I didn’t know. That we’d never talked about it.” My heart beat frantically, afraid that I might jeopardize what we had simply by addressing this. But it needed to be clarified.

Sebastian forked some more eggs into his mouth and chewed thoughtfully. When he finished, he put his fork down and stared at me. “I don’t think I want to be in an open relationship with you, Tate.”

I waited for him to continue. After a moment he did.

“I know this might mean I’m going to lose you, but I…really feel like we might have something special. Just the two of us.” His voice softened when he continued. “I don’t want to share that.” His eyes conveyed the vulnerability of what he was telling me, and I felt my heartbeat calm with the sincerity of it. “But…” he continued, “…if you’re not sure whether it’s me or James that you want, I think you’d better figure that out. Sooner rather than later.”

I looked down at my breakfast, blushing with humiliation. I wanted to tell him that it was an easy decision. That, of course, I chose him. But I knew there was some part of me that was still on the fence. James was a powerful presence in my life, and he’d just declared that he had feelings for me, feelings I’d never imagined he would have. I felt like I had to address that before I could really, fully commit to Sebastian.

I nodded. “Okay.”

§ § §

After I dropped him off that evening, I came home and lay on my bed and really thought about what I wanted. It was true I wanted James, but more as a sex partner than anything. He was extraordinary and he knew exactly what I wanted in terms of a mind-blowing sexual experience. He was intriguing and powerful, and to have him declare himself to me felt intoxicating and ego-boosting.

But would I give up Sebastian for him? I’d thought that maybe, just maybe, Sebastian might consent to a more modern relationship with me, one that would allow me the freedom of experiencing multiple partners. Since we, as a gay couple, were breaking most of the typical societal mores anyway, and did not necessarily feel the need to comply to the standard definitions of straight relationships, it was possible to navigate a more libertine lifestyle that included commitment after a fashion. But Sebastian wasn’t having it. And to be completely honest, I respected him more for the fact that he held us to a higher standard. The fact that he’d risk losing me by not agreeing to share me with someone else demonstrated a strength that I admired.

Also, I could imagine a definable future with Sebastian. If things went well, maybe we could move in together. Maybe, down the road, we could make an even bigger commitment. The situation with James seemed less obvious. Yes, he felt something for me now. But being an active Dom in the leather community was such a huge part of his life, I really couldn’t see him giving that up, even if we became seriously involved. Again, it came down to what I wanted. I had to figure that out.

I’d been living as a “free spirit” for a long time, and there was a lot to be said for that kind of lifestyle. I’d had lots of fun and many enjoyable experiences. I’d met fascinating people. But nobody as interesting as Sebastian, and nobody that I felt drawn to like I was to him. For the first time, I thought of giving myself to one person. I kind of liked the idea.

But he was absolutely right that I needed to get James out of my system before I could really give him the commitment he wanted.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Seduction

Saturday morning of the long weekend, I arrived at James’ home by myself.

Sebastian knew I was here. He didn’t like it, but he knew. I intended it to be my last hurrah as an independent operator, so to speak. I wanted to give myself to Sebastian, heart and soul, and the only way I would be comfortable doing that would be to exorcise my desire for James' domination with one final, powerful weekend. Anyway, that was the plan.

It felt weird getting ready without Sebastian. Lonely and kind of scary. Whatever lay in store for me, I would have to cope with on my own. Yet I knew what James could do in a weekend, how he could strip me bare and take me to heights I'd never imagined. I would give myself to him for two days and two nights and then give myself to Sebastian forever.