beyond the grave 03 - a ghostly demise (6 page)

She scribbled away. She was right. O’Dell really didn’t want the visitors to come explore the caves. What had he done for the community?

“You’re right!” I pounded my fist on the table. “You do deserve to be mayor and Charlotte is going to have to suck it up.”

“Good for us.” Granny leaned down and hugged me. I patted her arms. “I’ll leave it up to you to tell her.”

“Of course you will.” I rolled my eyes. “Granny, what do you know about Terk Rhinehammer?”

It seemed like a good question to start with. I needed to go visit Terk and try to figure out if he and his relationship with Leotta had anything to do with Cephus’s murder.

“Not much. Terk Rhinehammer and Cephus ran around with a different crowd when your daddy was growing up.” She looked at me. Her brow twitched. “Cephus might’ve stopped to visit every now and then, but not Terk.”

“Granny, tell me.” I coaxed her to tell me what she was hiding.

“You know, idle gossip.” She looked me up and down. Slowly she shuffled over to me. “I guess you are big enough to know stuff.”

“Big enough?” I laughed. “I am a big girl and an adult by law.”

“Well, kids can be cruel and hurt other kids. But since you and Mary Anna are big kids, I’m sure you’ll keep this to yourself.” Granny eased down next to me. “I had heard, just heard now”—Granny tried to make gossip sound better—“when Cephus lost his job, I heard Terk had given him a job down at the water plant. If I can recall, I believe Terk was the manager down there. But like I said, he ran around in a different crowd.” Her face turned serious. “Them Rhinehammers are Burns people.”

Granny liked to classify families into two groups. Burns or Eternal Slumber, depending on what funeral home the families chose to bury their loved ones. In this case, the Rhinehammers must have always used Burns Funeral to bury their people.

“I think it caused a lot of problems between Leotta and Cephus because I had heard that Leotta didn’t want handouts and if Cephus didn’t drink so much, he’d have been able to stay in construction.”

“Construction?” I realized I had no idea what Cephus had done for a living.

“And I never would have pegged Leotta and Terk together, but I just can’t shake the image I saw today.” Granny’s lips turned up like she had the biggest secret. “When I went to yoga this morning, in the middle of plank pose, I lifted my head and looked out the window overlooking the street. Terk Rhinehammer’s big Buick drove right on by, with Leotta Hardy driving.” She nodded. “Saw it with my own eyes.”

“And she didn’t say a word about it when I asked her.” I found it interesting that Leotta was trying to hide it.

“Not a word,” Granny said. “She looked shocked that you knew it was his. How did you know it was his?”

“Lucky guess.” I shrugged. “Where does Terk live?” I asked. I could feel her staring at me. “I’m just wanting to try to understand the dynamics between Leotta and him since I do work with Mary Anna and all.”

“Has she been talking about it?” Granny poured herself a glass of tea.

“Well”—I leaned in on my elbows as if I was telling her a big secret—“they are having a big family gathering tomorrow night at the carnival. Mary Anna said Teddy is coming into town. I can’t help but wonder if Leotta is going to bring Terk as her boyfriend or something. Besides, he is a voter.”

I held the glass up to my lips, lifted my brows and peered over the top at Granny, who was contemplating every word I was saying.

“A vote is a vote.” Granny’s eyes narrowed.

“What if I pack up some of those cookies and take them over to Terk’s for a little campaigning?” The idea was solid. I could pretend to be going door-to-door handing out buttons to get in front of him.

“You are brilliant, granddaughter!” Granny jumped up. She searched the cabinets for some Tupperware and stacked some cookies in it. “This is exactly why I gave you Eternal Slumber.”

She shoved the box toward me.

“One more thing.” I knew it was going to be a shocker of a question. “What do you think
really
happened to Cephus Hardy?”

“I think he drank himself to death somewhere.” Granny never said anything she didn’t mean. “I think he got tired of all of Leotta’s bullshit and decided to get out.”

“Bullshit?” I asked. “What bullshit?”

“Stop talking like that,” Granny warned. There were things that always seemed okay for her but were never okay for me. Swearwords were one of them. “Leotta was always stringing along some man around Cephus to get his goat.”

“That’s right, Zula Fae.” Cephus appeared. He leaned on the counter near the cookie sheet. “I’d love to have a cookie and an ice-cold Stroh’s.”

“Leotta might be all sweet, but she is the jealous type and she’s still a woman. Likes to be center of attention. At least that is what I was told.” Granny pushed the box of cookies a little closer to me.

Granny pulled back. “Why all these questions? This don’t have nothing to do with my campaign, does it?”

“I want to make sure you are nowhere near this mess in the past since Bea Allen Burns has come back to help her brother beat you.” I shook my head. “When in politics, the past has a habit of rearing its ugly head.”

“Trust me.” Granny jabbed her finger in her own chest. “I never ran around with that group. Nor did I do anything in my past that would keep me from winning this election.”

Chapter 7

T
here were two things Southerners hated to see knocking on their door. Jehovah Witnesses, because the majority of us were Baptist, and the undertaker. It was understandable that when Terk Rhinehammer opened the door, his face turned white as all the blood was drained from it after he looked past me and saw my hearse.

“What’s wrong?” He used his hands to pat down his chest. “I’m not dead, am I?” he halfheartedly joked.

“You gonna be!” Cephus had a habit of appearing at the wrong times. Which happened to be when he wanted to fight someone.

Cephus bounced on his toes, jabbing the air.

Ahem.
I cleared my throat to try to get Cephus to stop. He was becoming a bit of a distraction.

“Can I get you a beer?” The cigarette nestled in the corner of Terk’s mouth bounced up and down with every word.

Terk looked different from what I remember when I was a little girl and seeing him around Sleepy Hollow. Granted, that was a lifetime and headful of hair ago, but still, time had not been good to him. His muscular build had turned to flab, especially under his chin, and his long ponytail had turned into a long, thin crown around the bald spot.

“No thank you.” I couldn’t help but notice the beer gut he had developed from the consumption of the drink in his hand.

“It’s noon.” He joked. He took the cigarette out of his mouth and took a swig out of the Pabst Blue Ribbon can before he crushed it and threw it in the plastic trash can outside the door. “If I ain’t dead, and no one I know isn’t, what’s the pleasure?”

“I was wondering if I could take a few minutes of your time to talk with you about the election, and my granny, Zula Fae . . .” I held out one of Granny’s buttons.

“I know who your granny is.” He pulled his pants clear up to his armpits. His eyes filled with surprise. “Say, are you Bo Raines’s kid?”

Now we were getting somewhere. Granted, it wasn’t about Cephus, but I was going to hear how he knew my daddy.

“We ain’t here to talk about Bo.” Cephus stomped. “Take the beer! Hell, I’ll take any beer!”

“Do you know my daddy?” I asked, rolling up on my toes and trying to take a gander into his trailer.

He stepped in front of me with his beer gut and chest jutting out, blocking my view.

“I know of your daddy. We never ran around the same circles. That whole funeral gig y’all got going kinda gave me and my buds the creeps.” He crossed his arms in front of him. “I’m thinking about voting for O’Dell Burns. He has never tried to bury someone who didn’t have pre-need arrangements. Or dig up the dead.”

“Well, to be fair.” I put my hands on my hips. Terk made it sound like Eternal Slumber was a fly-by-night funeral parlor. “Granny was married to Earl Way and Chicken Teater hadn’t died of pneumonia but had been murdered so Sleepy Hollow’s finest began working on his case and needed clues. All legitimate reasons.”

I had to admit that Eternal Slumber had taken a few hits over the years. It wasn’t good for business when Granny’s second husband died and she laid him out right in the front viewing room of Eternal Slumber with the entire town there to pay their respects, or be nosy. Either way, they were there when Earl Way’s ex-wife and Granny’s number one nemesis, Ruthie Sue Payne, showed up with O’Dell Burns and plucked Earl Way’s dead body right out of his casket.

Earl Way never took care of updating his funeral needs when he married Granny, leaving O’Dell Burns with the most current funeral arrangements. Ruthie didn’t care, she just wanted to get under Granny’s skin. Only Granny put on a brave face and smiled like a good Southern woman . . . hiding her crazy, just like me.

Then there was Chicken. He too had come to see me, and he was who sent Cephus to me. Everyone thought he died of pneumonia. Everyone was wrong. He was murdered and I had to help him to the other side.

Cephus’s case was a little different than the last two. There was no body. No evidence he was murdered. Somehow, I had to find his body. Had he been murdered five years ago? Would there be any bones or anything left of him?

I glanced over at Cephus. His eyes never left Terk. Terk’s eyes never left me. Cephus wrung his hands and used his finger to rotate the ring on this right-hand ring finger.

“Do you wear that all the time?” I pointed.

“Never take it off.” Cephus held his hand up in the air, showing me the gold band and square onyx stone that took up the entire face of the ring.

“Wear what?” Terk snubbed out his half-smoked cigarette on the ground with his foot.

“Nothing.” I shook my head, realizing I had said that out loud. “Anyway, I don’t see a car.” I had to slip in Leotta somehow. “I’d be more than happy to come pick you up so you could vote. Voting is a privilege every citizen needs to exercise no matter if you vote for Granny or not.”

“What makes you think I don’t have a car?” he snarled.

“I don’t see one.” I twirled around and took a good look at his small yard.

“My friend has my old Buick. I’ve got a ride.”

“You mean Leotta Hardy?” I asked.

His head jerked up. “How do you know about Leotta?”

It wasn’t like I could tell him that Cephus Hardy was dead and right there about to give him the smackdown, nor could I tell him that I had seen his old Buick parked in front of Higher Grounds when I acted like I had no idea he had a car and offered him a ride.

“Isn’t she still married to Cephus Hardy?” My eyes zeroed in on his facial expression.

Cephus jumped around me and grabbed Terk by the neck. “Yeah, you sonofabitch!”

“Stop!” I yelled, but it was too late. Terk was feeling the effect of Cephus’s revenge.

Terk choked out a lung, bent over and continued to hack.

“Need. A. Beer,” he gasped, holding one hand up to his throat and the other pointed into the trailer.

I rushed past him and made a sharp right turn into the kitchen, where there was a round café table, two chairs, a small counter with a sink and a few upper cabinets that had yellowed from the cigarette smoke.

There was a piece of paper lying on the table with Cephus Hardy printed big and bold at the top. Without even looking at it and without thinking, I grabbed it and stuck it in my pocket.

I picked up a glass from the wire drying rack on the counter next to the sink and turned on the faucet to fill it with water before I rushed back out to Terk, who had now gone out on his lawn in a gasping fit and lay on the ground.

Cephus stood next to Terk, laughing his head off and tapping the toe of his white, patent-leather shoe.

“Clearly he didn’t want to talk about my girl.” Cephus brushed his hands together. “My business here is done.”

Terk pointed to the hearse and nodded.

“You want me to take you to Doc Clyde?” I asked.

Up and down his head went. There was a fear of death in his eyes.

“Don’t you dare help that thief.” Cephus ran alongside me and Terk. I opened the door. Cephus tried to step in front of us, but I tucked Terk inside and slammed the door. “That thief needs to come to my side so I can get him in a real chokehold.”

I rushed to the driver’s side and jumped in. I threw the hearse in gear and peeled out of the gravel drive, spitting rocks behind me.

“Maybe you should stop smoking.” I took the drive over to Doc Clyde’s as an opportunity to lecture him on his bad habit. “Or you will be riding back there next time.” I pointed to the gurney in the back.

“Awe, he’s all right.” Cephus sat cross-legged on the gurney. He twirled the ring, using his thumb around his finger. “Let him smoke.”

Cephus and I both knew Terk had choked because Cephus did a little ghost kung fu on him, but Terk didn’t know that.

Before I could bring the hearse to a full stop Terk jumped out, holding his throat. He didn’t look back or even thank me for the ride.

“Sonofabitch.” Cephus appeared up front in the passenger seat Terk had vacated. He muttered some other expletive, but I drove off, trying to get the note out of my pocket.

Chapter 8

W
ell?” Charlotte was hunkered over her desk when I got back from visiting Terk and taking him to see Doc Clyde. “Did you talk to Granny?”

“I did.” I ran my fingers through my hair and leaned up against the doorjamb of her office door. Talking to Charlotte was a lot more stressful than any murdered ghost or dealing with Granny. I held the note in my hand. “She’s harmless. I think we can let her keep her sign up. It’s just a week away. And we don’t have any clients right now.”

“Right now is right.” Charlotte pushed her chair back, letting it roll into the bookshelf behind her. “We don’t know when our clients’ time is up. We don’t know when we are going to have clients. What if we get a call in a minute? Then what?”