Big Girls Don't Cry (20 page)

“Feast or famine. Neither one is good. Moderation in all things.”

“Easier said than done.”

“Most things are,” Bart said. “Take clowning for example. How many kids wanted to run away and join the circus? Well, maybe not as many these days, but in my time that was the big thing.”

“Is that what you did? Run away from home?”

“And my life here. Yes, that’s what I did. You too, right?”

Leena nodded.

“Yet here we both are. Back where we began.”

“Yeah, but the difference is that you’re here by choice.”

“So are you.”

“No way.”

“Think about it. You could have stayed in the Chicago area and gotten a job there. Or gone to a new city. Yet you came back to where you started.”

“It seemed the lesser of several evils.”

“You returned to your roots to find yourself.”

“So now you’re a philosopher as well as a clown?”

“It goes with the territory.”

“Sister Mary told me you’re doing volunteer work with the kids at the local hospital.”

“I live to entertain.”

“I think it’s more than that.”

“Does that mean you’ve forgiven me about the ad?”

“Just don’t do it again.” She took a sip of her drink. “This is good.”

“I hear that you’re good with organizational stuff.”

“Who told you that?”

“Sister Mary. She said you’ve really made a difference at the animal clinic.”

“Maybe I’m just good working with animals,” she joked.

“Me too. Elephants and monkeys mostly. I took clowning classes to learn how to manage. Not just animals but skits, costumes, and makeup.”

“Where can you take clown classes?”

“At Clown College in Florida. I’m a graduate.”

“Shut up.” Leena’s eyes widened in surprise. “Really?”

“Really.”

“I had no idea.”

“Most people don’t. Clown College closed in the late nineties. They teach the same kind of courses at various performing arts schools around the country. You know, now that I think about it, our professions actually have a lot in common. We put on a happy face for others, hiding our own emotions and reflecting what society wants to see.”

“Fake it till you make it.”

“Right on.” Bart gave her a high five.

A moment later, Leena coughed as her sister pulled her pink boat of a car to a hasty stop nearby, kicking up a cloud of dust.

“What are you two doing?” Unlike Leena, Sue Ellen didn’t bother getting out of the car.

“Drinking tea and talking,” Leena answered.

“Is she threatening you?” Sue Ellen asked Bart. “What?” This as Leena gave her a look. “You weren’t happy with him about that ad showing your thighs.”

“I’ve gotten over it,” Leena said. “Thanks for the ice tea, Bart.”

“Have you gotten over Cole yet?” Sue Ellen asked as Leena walked past her to get to her own car.

Leena pretended not to hear her. But Sue Ellen never took a hint. Sometimes even a hammer over the head didn’t make any impression. Such was the case today as Leena’s sister followed her inside the mobile home.

“You know what today reminded me?” Sue Ellen asked.

“A million reasons to get out of this town?”

“No. All those people gathered around your car reminded me that we haven’t had your welcome-home party yet.”

“That’s fine by me.”

“Well, it’s not fine by me.”

“I’m not going to be here that much longer.”

“What do you mean?” Sue Ellen asked.

“I mean once I have enough money saved, I’ll be heading back to Chicago.”

“I thought you might be reconsidering that now that you’re settling in here in Rock Creek.”

“I don’t consider being hauled into the sheriff’s office as settling in.”

“Nathan was just trying to be helpful.”

“I don’t need that kind of help.”

“Well, I’ll need your help with the party.”

“I don’t want you to make a big deal out of it, okay?”

“Okay, sure. Did I ever tell you about the totem party that Skye threw for me? I discovered that my spiritual totem animal is a toy poodle. Skye and Angel seemed to think that was unusual, as if they should talk. I wore a toga. They were surprised by that too.”

“You’re not wearing a toga to my welcome-home party though, right?”

“Of course not. When should we have the party?”

After the toga talk Leena knew better than to trust her sister when she said she’d keep things low-key. Sue Ellen’s idea of low-key never matched anyone else’s. Leena’s best chance was to limit the amount of time Sue Ellen had to make a big production. “This Friday would be perfect.”

“But that doesn’t give me much time to get ready.”

Exactly. “If you think you can’t do it . . .”

“Of course I can.” Like Leena, Sue Ellen was a sucker for a challenge. “Is there someone special you want me to invite? Besides Cole, of course.”

“Why Cole
of course
?”

“Because you were just making out with him. Which made me figure that you like him.”

“Talking about me again, ladies?” Cole said from the other side of the screen door.

“Don’t you have someplace else you need to be?” Leena said.

“Yes.
Inside
your house instead of outside of it.”

Sue Ellen, the traitor, let him in. Then she made matters worse by saying, “We were just planning Leena’s welcome-home party. You’re invited, of course. Who else do you think we should add to the guest list?”

“Isn’t that a question you should be asking me?” Leena said.

“I did ask you and you didn’t answer. So, Cole, who else should we invite?”

“Mindy and her husband.”

“Here.” Sue Ellen handed Leena the magnetized SNOW MUCH TO DO notepad from the fridge. “Write this down.”

And so Leena became the menial note taker to her own party.

“We need a theme,” Sue Ellen said.

“I thought
welcome home
was the theme.”

“No, that’s the reason, not the theme. How about celebrities? You could come to the party as your favorite celebrity. Of course, since you already
are
a celebrity you could come as yourself,” Sue Ellen told Leena.

“What are you doing here?” Leena asked Cole.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay after the incident in town.”

Which incident? Leena wondered. The one in front of the mini-mart? Or the one in the middle of Barwell Street? Or the one in the sheriff’s office? There were so many to choose from. And she wasn’t okay about any of them.

She was ready to toss him out when he reached out and gently tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. For once he wasn’t trying to seduce her with his touch. Instead she sensed an underlying element of caring in his gesture that made her heart ache.

“I’m okay,” she muttered as much for her own benefit as his.

“Hey, Cole, do you think your cousin Butch would be willing to cater the party?” Sue Ellen asked.

“Sure.”

It wasn’t until much later, when the conversation turned to what to wear, that Cole finally had enough and left. But only after he’d whipped up a surprisingly delicious meal from the leftovers Leena had in her fridge.

“A man who can cook and looks great. You should grab him,” Sue Ellen said the minute he was gone.

“He’s my boss.”

“So get another boss.”

“Jobs aren’t exactly growing on trees around here.”

“Guys like Cole for sure don’t grow on trees . . . anywhere.”

“I don’t want to talk about Cole.”

“Fine. What do you want to talk about?”

Leena looked down at her feet and the shoes she’d just kicked off. “Shoe love.” Sighing, she wiggled her bare toes. “I used to suffer big-time from shoe love. The thrill of finding the one meant just for me. The excitement of bonding together. The uncomfortable moments forgotten in that initial thrill of infatuation. Then the disappointment of things going wrong, of my expectations not being met. Which was eventually followed by the buzz of finding a new shoe love. Do you want to know how I broke this vicious cycle?”

Sue Ellen nodded.

“Two years ago I broke my foot, thrown off balance by a platform shoe who’d done me wrong. That’s when I vowed to forsake shoe love for . . . bag love.” Leena held up her Coach bag. “Because bags aren’t fickle like shoes. They don’t care what size you are. They always fit you. Not like shoes that can squeeze the life out of you. Shoes that can tempt you into thinking they are the perfect fit only to turn on you and torture you. Bag love is much better than shoe love.”

Sue Ellen nodded sagely. “Bag love is better. Especially pink-bag love.”

“You love anything pink.”

“Wait until you see my redecorating plans for my kitchen. You will absolutely die! Think pink and white. Think Good & Plenty.”

“You want a kitchen the color of candy?”

“I thought you’d approve.”

“Why? Because I’m a candy addict?”

“Not just candy. Cake and cookies too. I can’t believe you gave those Sara Lee banana cakes to Sister Mary.”

“I know better.”

“You’d think so. You’d think you would know better than to give away Sara Lee.”

“I mean I know better than to stuff my face and use food as a crutch.”

“Russ thinks I’m fat,” Sue Ellen abruptly said.

“What?”

“He wants me to run laps around the track with him. I tried before belly-dancing class today, but I couldn’t do it.”

“He’s an idiot.”

“No, he’s not. He’s got a college degree. That’s more than you or I have.”

“So? That doesn’t make him smart.”

“Sure it does.”

“Trust me, it doesn’t. Johnny had a law degree. He was still an idiot.”

“Is that the guy who broke your heart back in Chicago?”

“Yeah.”

“Was he shoe love or bag love?”

“Johnny was shoe love. Fickle.”

“And what is Cole?”

“My biggest nightmare.”

“Why?”

“How many times do I have to say this? Because he’s my boss.”

“And you’re afraid that if you have sex with him, he’ll fire you?”

“No.”

“Maybe he’d give you a raise.”

“I am not sleeping with him to get a raise.”

“It was just an idea.”

“A bad one. It would make things very awkward.”

“You can handle awkward. You’re a supermodel . . . okay, a regular model. A regular plus-size model. You’ve got flawless skin, a gorgeous face and smile, and naturally impressive boobs. I’m telling you, awkward is a piece of cake for you. Maybe it wouldn’t be awkward. Maybe Cole is the man meant for you. Maybe you’ll get married and move into that huge monstrosity of a house of his and I can help you decorate. Or I could find you both a new house. I’ll pass my realtor’s test soon, I’m sure.”

“I am not staying here in Rock Creek forever.”

“Of course not. Not forever. You and Cole could retire somewhere warm—”

“No, no, no!”

“You and Cole could retire somewhere cold?”

“There is no Cole and me.”

“Uh, yes there is. Remember earlier this evening? In Nathan’s office? When you and Cole were kissing?”

“That was a mistake.”

“You’re not still thinking of killing him, are you?”

“Of course not.”

“Well, that’s a relief. You wouldn’t look good in one of those prison jumpsuits.”

“Let’s get back to you and Russ. Did he actually say you’re fat?”

“No, of course not. He just sort of insinuated it. I probably was being too sensitive. Things are going fine with us.”

“I’m glad. That means you can ask him for help. I was talking to Bart about ways to improve Rock Creek, and I suggested that the football team could help out as a community project. You know, do stuff like pull the weeds from the cracked sidewalks and paint the peeling lampposts. You could suggest that the businesses on Barwell Street put out whiskey tubs of flowers on the sidewalks in front of their storefronts. Maybe use the school colors or something to tie it all in to the high school. I said you could talk to Russ about it.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you. Why? Is there some problem with that?”

“No, no problem. Russ and I have no problems. I don’t mind that we usually meet at the Dairy Queen. I like the Dairy Queen. And I don’t mind that he always fondles my left boob and ignores the right one even when I wear my lucky bra. Honestly, I don’t mind any of that.”

“O-kay. So you’ll talk to him?” Leena said.

“About fondling my right boob?”

“About the team volunteering for community improvement projects.”

“Why don’t you talk to him?”

“Because he’s your guy, not mine. And if I were you, I’d bring up the boob thing too, while you’re at it.”

“Well, you’re not me! And you never will be!”

“Which is fine with me.”

“And what about kids, huh? What if I want to have a baby? My eggs are getting older in front of my eyes. Not that I can really see them. The eggs, I mean. They’re in my ovaries or someplace like that.” Sue Ellen blinked away sudden tears. “What if they all dry up before Russ makes a move? What then?”

“Don’t wait for him to make a move. You take charge. You can do it, Sue Ellen. You’re great at taking charge.”

Sue Ellen’s tears disappeared before they fell and her huge smile broke through. “Yes, I am. I am great at taking charge.”

“Yes, you are.”

“So now I’ve got a plan.”

“Yes, you do.”

“Thank you.” Sue Ellen gave her a huge hug, cutting off her oxygen flow.

“Can’t . . . breathe,” Leena wheezed.

“Oh, right.” Sue Ellen quickly released her. “Sorry about that.” She did a happy dance around the kitchen. “I’ve got a plan; I’ve got a plan.”