Big Girls Don't Cry (31 page)

“No.”

Cole tilted her up chin, forcing her to look at him. “When you told me you were leaving for Chicago to take a modeling job, I felt as though you’d yanked my heart out and stomped on it.”

“Welcome to the club. When you tossed money at me and told me to have a good trip, I felt the same way.”

“I had to get out of there so you wouldn’t see how upset I was. I didn’t want to stand in the way of your dream. You’ve told me from the beginning that you didn’t plan on staying in Rock Creek. The fact that I’d fallen in love with you was my problem, not yours.”

Leena stared at him uncertainly. Was he telling the truth . . . or trying to charm her? He sure looked like he was telling the truth. There was a grim determination about him that she’d never seen before. “You love me?”

He nodded and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

“You hurt me.”

“I know.” He trailed his fingers down her cheek regretfully. “I’m so sorry. Can you forgive me?”

“Life is short. Kiss her, for crying out loud,” the lady with the orange hair ordered Cole.

He did, his lips consuming hers. Leena tugged him closer. “I love you too,” she whispered against his mouth. “I’m not sure I want to go to Chicago right now.”

“If you don’t go, you’ll always wonder what you were missing. I want you to be as sure of this as I am. When you come back to Rock Creek, it has to be because you want to, not because you had to.” One last kiss, one final stroke of her hair, and then he was gone.

Leena blinked back the tears. He was right. She knew he was right. That didn’t mean she had to like it. She missed him already.

 
“You don’t look very thrilled,” Irene told Leena twenty-four hours later. “Didn’t you hear what I said? This client picked your photo out of all the other models he could have had.”

“I heard you. I’m just not sure how I feel about it.”

Irene stared at her in disbelief, her eyes wide behind her expensive Chanel glasses, her short, platinum white hair sporting the latest trendy haircut. She was aiming for Meryl Streep’s look in
The Devil Wears Prada.
“What did they do to you in that Podunk town? Brain-wash you or something?”

“I fell in love.”

“Well, fall out of love,” Irene said sharply. “This is your career we’re talking about here. Snap out of it.”

“I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Of course you can. You’re a pro. Don’t let some stupid guy distract you.”

“It’s not about him. Well, it is a little, but mostly it’s about me. I’ve changed.” Leena looked out the window of her agent’s office. While not on Michigan Avenue, it was near enough that if she leaned a little to the left she could see the traffic on the Magnificent Mile and even a bit of the Chicago River. Closing her eyes, she pictured the rolling green hills around Rock Creek and that poor apple tree struggling to survive next to the World War II tank in the center of town. Michigan Avenue had gorgeous landscaping with thousands of flowers compared to the few that Rock Creek had.

And yet . . .

“I have to figure out if modeling is shoe love or bag love,” she muttered to herself.

She already knew that Cole was bag love. He couldn’t have shattered her heart as badly as he had if he’d been only shoe love. He was the real thing. But there were still so many obstacles in their path. She needed some time to think about this.

So Leena sucked it up and for the next three weeks worked at trying to recapture her dream. Her former roommates hadn’t found a replacement for her, so she was able to move back in temporarily. They were off on a South American shoot for the month, so Leena had the place to herself.

She was busy from dawn until late at night. She’d been able to speak to Cole only a few times. She missed him terribly. No surprise there. The shocker was that she also missed her sister’s pythonlike hug. She missed Skye and Lulu with their outrageous comments. She missed Bart and his words of wisdom. She missed Mindy and her big heart.

Irene didn’t have a heart. Instead she had a plaque on her desk that read WICKED BITCH OF THE MIDWEST.

“Haven’t you ever been in love?” Leena asked her.

“You bet. I’m in love with my job. If you don’t have the balls for this job, then you should get out right now.”

“I don’t have balls,” Leena said. “I’m a woman. I have curves.” She pointed to her T-shirt, which had a picture of the Statue of Liberty and the lines GIVE ME YOUR CURVES, YOUR WRINKLES, YOUR NATURAL BEAUTY YEARNING TO BE FREE.

“Is this about your weight? All the client said was that your butt looked big in the photo yesterday. We can change that on the computer.”

Right. And yet again make women think they should look smaller than they were. Diminished instead of empowered. “Speaking of computers, did I tell you that I’ve been blogging? It’s been a real eye-opener,” Leena said. “There are hundred of thousands of women out there with body-image issues.”

“I’m only trying to deal with one of them right now. You.”

Since Leena had returned to Chicago, the self-trash talk inside her head had returned with a vegeance. Was it really smart for her to stay in a business that focused 110 percent on image and not substance? She felt like a stranger in her own life. She didn’t want to be judged by her butt size. She wanted to be judged by the quality of her character, not the shade of her lipstick. Okay, the reality was that she’d probably always care about both. Still . . .

“It’s not about your dress size. It’s about your health and happiness,” she said, finally.

“My health and happiness depends on you getting this job.”

“Maybe, but mine doesn’t,” Leena said. “I’m sorry, Irene.” She briefly hugged her stunned agent. “I can’t go back. I need to go forward with the next chapter of my life.”

 
 
“The county cadaver bloodhound looks happier than you do,” Nathan told Cole as they sat sipping their beers at Nick’s Tavern. “What happened to man rule number nine: No angsting over a woman? Angsting over sports teams winning is okay. Not angsting over women.”

“This from a man who doesn’t know when a woman is proposing to him in letters twenty feet high in the sky right over his head.”

“I said yes as soon as I figured out what she meant.”

“I’m not angsting over women. Just one. Leena.”

“I can’t believe you told her you loved her in front of a busload of white-haired old ladies.”

“One of them had orange hair. Anyway, I was desperate.”

“No kidding. Yet you let her take off for Chicago.”

“It wasn’t a matter of letting her. Leena does what she wants. I want her to
want
to be with me.”

“Instead of some glamorous job in Chicago? That’s asking a lot.”

“You really have a way of making a guy feel worse.”

“Aw, come on.” Nathan punched his shoulder. “She’ll be back. After all, you’re one of PA’s sexiest bachelors. How can she resist you?”

“Yeah, right.”

“You two mind if I join you?” Bart asked.

“Pull up a chair,” Nathan said.

“Cole, have you heard from Leena lately?”

“Not for a couple of days,” Cole admitted before defending her. “She’s really busy with this new ad campaign they’re starting.”

“Next time you talk to her please tell her that the information she gave me about the nonprofit group that helps build community playgrounds is paying off,” Bart said, his enthusiasm clear. “They were so impressed with the package she put together that they approved us.”

“Us?”

“Rock Creek. They’ve already got us scheduled for early October. It only takes the group one day, with help from local volunteers, to build everything. So that vacant lot on the north side of town will be a community playground by fall. Leena sure knows how to get things done. You’ve probably heard Vanessa bragging all over town how many hits her website has gotten since Leena became the guest blogger.”

“This is all news to me,” Cole said.

“I knew all about it,” Algee said as he pulled up a chair to join them. Unlike Bart, he didn’t ask for permission first. “Tameka filled me in. Not that I’m into bragging. My new motto is, ‘Stay humble or you’ll stumble.’ ”

“Yeah, mine too,” Luke said, hauling over another rickety chair. “What are you guys doing in this dive when you could be over at Maguire’s eating great food with your beer?”

Cole shrugged. “I believe in supporting local businesses.”

“How about supporting your friends?” Luke said. “You believe in that?”

“Yeah.”

“Then look at these great baby pictures.” Luke pulled a batch out of his wallet. “Have you ever seen such a beautiful kid?”

Algee grinned. “Not that you’re bragging or anything, right?”

Luke nodded. “I’m just stating facts here. Hey, when you talk to Leena next time, Cole, tell her that Julia said she’s doing a program at the library like she suggested.”

“On what?” Nathan asked. “Applying makeup?”

“On achieving self-esteem,” Skye said as she joined them, her hands on her hips. “How typical of you testosterone-driven males to jump to the wrong conclusion.”

“I’m so sorry.” Nathan tugged her onto his lap and nuzzled her neck. “Let me make it up to you.”

Watching them made Cole miss Leena even more.

 
Leena pulled her blue Sebring into the parking lot. Donny had driven it up to Chicago with a pal of his so she’d have wheels. Not that she’d really needed them in the city, but they were a requirement for her new plan to succeed. Her palms were damp with nerves. She flipped down the vanity mirror to check her appearance. This gig could be the most important of her entire life. She couldn’t blow it.

Color her shallow, but she’d needed two days to plan what she was going to wear today. She’d do better, be less superficial for her next life-changing milestone, but for today she’d need the boost.

The irony, which her life was so full of these days, was that this morning she threw all those wardrobe plans out the window and instead put on her Wal-Mart jeans and LOVE YOUR BODY T-shirt. Beneath it all, however, she wore a very impressive lingerie set in a gorgeous shade of peach. For good luck she wore the Bakelite bangle she’d gotten at the thrift shop all those weeks ago.

Okay, this was it. Her big moment. Leena walked into the Rock Creek Animal Clinic to find utter pandemonium. The Great Dane with anxiety issues was cowering and whimpering in one corner of the waiting room while a mutt howled in another. A parrot kept repeating, “Shit, this is just shit!” from inside its cage, and two Siamese cats hissed and growled at each other from neighboring cat carriers.

She grinned. She could manage chaos. She couldn’t manage a life without Cole.

“What’s going on here?”

“Leena, you’re back!” Mindy hurried to her side and gave her a quick hug.

“Mindy, you look great.”

Instead of denying it as she once would have, Mindy said, “Thanks, I feel great. I’ve joined Skye’s belly-dancing class. Sorry about the mayhem. Mrs. Petrocelli quit two days ago.”

Leena gave her attention-getting whistle and started issuing orders. “Great Dane in empty exam room one. Dueling Siamese, retreat to opposite corners, please.”

Everyone scrambled to obey and the place soon quieted down. “Where’s Cole?”

“In exam room two.”

“Is he with a client?”

“Not exactly.”

Leena didn’t wait to hear more. When she opened the door to the exam room, she found Cole cornered by Evil Edie. “Everyone knows you take pity on strays,” she was saying. “That’s what you did with Leena. I get that.”

“You better get your hands off my man,” Leena growled. “And I am not a stray.”

Edie backed up so fast she almost fell on her fanny.

“Don’t let me keep you.”

Edie raced out.

Leena focused her attention on Cole. His hair was shaggier than when she’d left and he had that sexy stubble thing going on. “I brought you something.”

“Who’s this?” He took a cat carrier from her outstretched hand and set it on the stainless steel exam table.

“Her Prozac is wearing off.”
Mine too.
Not that Leena had taken any, but that herbal tea she’d had with breakfast that was supposed to soothe and relax hadn’t done a thing. Of course, she had followed that with two cans of Diet Pepsi and a Red Bull drink. She was going to stick to green tea from now on, she really was. Or skim milk. That was real healthy, right? What were they talking about? Oh yeah, the cat.

“Her name is Petra and I brought her from Chicago with me. She was a stray I’d been feeding by the Dumpster. I asked a neighbor to feed her when I came here in April. Anyway, I couldn’t just leave her there, so I brought her with me this time.”

“You couldn’t find a vet you liked in Chicago?”

“Not one I could love, no.”

“You just love me for my veterinary talents?”

“I love you because you’re bag love.”

“Huh?”

“There’s shoe love and there’s bag love. Shoe love wears off because your feet get too big, but bag love stays with you no matter what. Never mind. You’re a guy so you wouldn’t understand. The important thing is that you’re it. When I left, you said if I came back it had to be because I wanted to, not because I had to. Well, here I am.”

She moved toward him and almost fell over a suitcase. “What’s this?”

“I was taking a few days off and coming to Chicago after work today. To remind you of what you’re missing.”

“Remind me right now.”

He tugged her into his arms.

She placed her fingers on his lips, stalling his kiss. “And I’m not a stray.”

“I never thought you were.” He nibbled on her fingertips. “You’re infuriating, bossy, smart, sexy as hell, and full of surprises.”

“You’ve got that right,” she murmured against his mouth.

Everything was right. The way he kissed her, the way she kissed him back. After three weeks apart it was no surprise that things got quickly out of hand. His hand was beneath her T-shirt while hers was undoing his jeans.