Big is Beautiful (3 page)

Jillian wasn't a knock-out but not dog-ugly either. She had a sweet, heart-shaped face, petite frame, pretty honey-blond hair past her shoulders, which she normally wore in loose curls, and a smile that made everything okay. I wish I had classes with her.

It was nice to talk to her through lunch, but I didn't tell her about tutoring. Truthfully, I didn't want her to know. It was embarrassing enough without my friend finding out about it. Of course, I knew she would someday, but it didn't have to be today. So, I mainly listened as Jillian went on and on about Oliver Donaldson. Oliver, I found out, was new to the school and sat behind her in Algebra I, a math class I could get behind. They had talked; numbers were exchange… well, I think they were exchanged. I might have missed that part. Jillian talked a mile a minute when she was excited.

I was very glad for my friend, who deserved to be happy, but a bit sad for myself. If things went the way they were supposed to, Jillian and Oliver would be all over each other. She might even stop sitting with me at lunch and wait to eat with him (She said he ate at the end of fourth period which she could swing with her classes.), and where would I be? The third wheel. Or even more depressing: alone. It was selfish, but it hurt.

Still, I plastered on my brightest smile knowing my cheeks must look like Santa's jolly ones. I'd win an award for acting if anyone could see my insides because I was miserable. I didn't end up eating my chicken because my stomach was too upset. Jillian, Oliver, tutoring, Kendra and the marshmallow comment… It all hit me hard. Not that Jillian noticed. She was too busy talking. I was too busy faking happiness. It was exhausting, and my head was starting to pound. At a little before twelve, I couldn't wait until three o'clock… oh, wait.

****

The rest of the day came and went okay. Nothing to write home about. Of course if I did, I'm sure my mom would try to get me tutored on having fun.
A
fun
tutor would be awesome
, I thought very, very sarcastically.

With a heavy heart, I watched under the cloudy gray sky as the buses drove away, taking the lucky, non-tutored kids back home. I wanted to jump on some random bus and beg the driver to take me too. Knowing my mom wouldn't be too excited to see me at this
normal
hour, I hung my head and went back inside the school.

Geometry was to the right coming from bus loading, past the sophomore lockers, then down a long, plain green hallway. Even though it was technically daylight, the hallway in the school was dark save for a few lights still turned on for the random few like me who had to be there late. No need wasting electricity on us. With the dim, ominous sky visible through the few random windows and most of the lights out, the halls were an eerie place to be without other people. Well, there were other people around technically. Assorted clubs met in different classrooms, and a few teachers helped other students who needed extra help. Sadly, that list now included me.

Maybe it would be better if I knew who my tutor would be. Probably some squeaky freshman genius. On second thought, that might not be such a bad thing. A freshman might be scared of an imposing sophomore like myself. If Jillian was any indication, I'd say that assessment wouldn't hold true. Who was I kidding? I was just a big girl with big math problems… literally.

With my luck Kendra would be my tutor, and my life would be over.

When I got a few steps from the classroom, I heard Ms. Bennett talking to someone. "Her name is Brittany Gregory. She has problems with… well, with pretty much anything involving geometry, bless her heart."

Ms. Bennett. Southern to the core.

"She should have gotten help a few months ago, but — oh well; in any case she's a very nice girl."

I cringed at
nice
. Did all chubby girls have to be classified as
nice?
Better than
she has a nice personality,
I supposed.

"Do you know her?"

I paused, listening very carefully for my tutor to answer. This could tell me if I wanted to walk in or not.

There was a pause.

"Okay then." It was Ms. Bennett's voice, not my tutor. Who in the world was it? Did he or she know me or not? Why couldn't he or she have given some sort of verbal response?

I felt my face get hot, so I took a few deep breaths to try to calm down and not go in there looking like a ripe tomato. Great first impression to give.

Ms. Bennett talked some more to my tutor who apparently had very little to say. I figured it was now or never. One hour of tutoring every afternoon wouldn't kill me, right?

Right?

Chapter Three

The lights on the far side of the room were out, and the cloudy day filtering through the windows made it feel as cheery as a mortuary. It definitely fit my mood.

Once I saw the back of his head, with dark blond hair falling just below the collar of his letterman jacket, I knew who he was. Of course I knew. Everyone knew.

I'll see you later…

Deciding instantly this train wreck needed to stop before it began, I turned on a dime and tried to escape before Matt and Ms. Bennett saw me. No way would I be tutored by
him.

"Brittany," I heard before I cleared the door. It had been close. So. So. So close.

Cringing, I turned around. Slow-ly.

My eyes met Matt's insanely gorgeous light blue ones, but I forced mine on Ms. Bennett. I refused to look like an idiot in front of him again. Well, more than I normally did.

Of all the people in all the school, why in the ever-loving world did I have to be tutored by Matt Taylor? Beautifully popular Matt Taylor. Matt Taylor, who had felt so sorry for me earlier in the day that he stopped to ask if I was okay. He already knew I was a loser, now he had proof.

It was one thing to be made fun of by Kendra. I was used to that. But to be tutored by the quarterback, it seemed wrong on so many levels. "I think… I forgot..." What? I forgot what? Come on, I could do better than that. "Something."
I forgot…
something?
Genius. I probably made Matt realize I was more of a doofus than he already thought. If he thought about me at all.

Before I knew it, I'd already spun around again and started out of the room. My feet appeared to have a mind of their own. I liked their mind better than the one in my head at the moment. I'd already taken a few steps and had nearly breached the door frame when I heard Ms. Bennett yell at me again. Defeated, I waltzed my little self back into the classroom. This time I knew I'd have to stay.

No more running.

Ms. Bennett smiled warmly, but I could tell by her tense stance that she hadn't expected such a strong reaction from me. Truthfully, I hadn't expected it either. "There's no need to be shy."

There was plenty of need.

Ms. Bennett stood from the student desk behind Matt and smoothed down the wrinkles in her skirt. Always a lady. "Matt is finished with football for the year, and since he's a senior, he has some extra time to volunteer. He's one of the brightest students I've ever had. You'll be in good hands. I promise."

I nodded at Ms. Bennett instead of looking at Matt. I knew I'd be looking at him enough later.

Ms. Bennett grinned, walked to me and patted my shoulder like she was reassuring a dog the kennel would be kind. "Matt will show you the ways of geometry. Right, Matt?"

Matt stood, and I finally got up the courage to peek at him. Wow, he was tall. Taller than I remembered from this morning, possibly because now he was my
tutor
, not just a nice guy taking care of the less fortunate blocking the bus-loading door.

He smiled at me and those dimples fell right into place. I felt my knees buckle, but I caught myself before I fell, both figurative and literally. The idea that I could fall for Matt Taylor wasn't impossible… improbable, but not impossible. He would be any woman's type. But the idea that he would fall for me was ludicrous. Going from Kendra Moses to me would be like switching from high-speed internet to dial-up.

"Absolutely. It's nice to run into you again." His voice had just enough bass to make him sound manly, not like the squeaky guys in my class who were at puberty's mercy.

"So you know each other?" Ms. Bennett's big brown eyes twinkled like she'd just made a love connection. I had bad news for her.

"Not personally. I've seen him around." That had lame written all over it. Great. Just great.

Ms. Bennett practically jumped out of her pumps. I thought she'd watched too many teen movies. "Excellent. Then you'll both be relaxed with each other. You might not believe this, Brittany, but sometimes I have tutors and tutees who don't get along."

"You don't say." I had to absorb the idea of being called a
tutee
.

She checked her watch and her eyes bugged out. "I'm sorry to run like this, but I have a faculty meeting in five minutes. After that, I have a doctor's appointment." She squeezed my arm gently. "I would have canceled, but it's kinda important and your mom's call threw me off guard. Normally, I wouldn't leave a first tutoring session."

"Don't worry about it." I forced a smile and willed my voice not to crack. Being tutored by someone like Matt without Ms. Bennett in the room as a safety net made me nervous. But like everything else, I had to go with the flow.

"I knew you'd understand. You're a sweetheart." Ms. Bennett went behind her desk and grabbed her coat and large black tote with papers spilling out. When she passed me on the way to the door, she stopped and back-tracked. "You know, Rodney got in big trouble for what he said to you today. Not just the extra work, but I told Mr. Thompson. I saw him talking to him in the hallway afterwards."

My tomato face returned. I'm sure she said it to reassure me. I had news for her. It didn't. And to get the principal involved! Knowing Rodney, he probably already thought of hundreds of ways to get back at me. I started to say something along the lines of, "What have you done? Are you crazy?" but she cut me off. She was good at cutting me off mid-thought.

"He won't be bothering you again."

Of course he wouldn't. That would be silly…

"Matt, please turn off the light and lock the door before you leave."

"Yes, ma'am." He sounded like a proper gentleman, which seemed odd on a seventeen year old. I appreciated a guy with manners. A rarity nowadays. Someone had taught that boy right. Another check in his favor.

Ms. Bennett gave a short little wave and disappeared out of the door, leaving me alone with Matt. I couldn't say I knew what to do exactly. My mind swirled with all kinds of thoughts. Some of them not very pure, to be honest. I had eyes, after all, and he was gorgeous. Then I had to come down to earth. I liked daydreaming better.

I'd never talked to Matt until today. I just
knew
him the way all southern girls knew guys, by watching him play football. Before this morning, I'd never even been in the same room with him except for the lunchroom, and it didn't really count. What if he thought I was ugly? What if he decided after the first problem I was a lost cause? What if he dropped out of tutoring me because associating with Big would hurt his sparkling reputation?

And what if pigs flew out of my butt?

He hadn't mentioned it, but I knew he knew my nickname. His ex-Kendra wouldn't have called me by any other name to him. She wouldn't call me anything else to the Pope.

I needed to push all of those thoughts out of my mind. He'd never been anything but nice to me, and I'd already pegged him as the stereotypical jock jerk. Who was the judgmental one now?

Okay, new game plan. Matt wasn't evil, and I wasn't a complete loser. We would have a good time together… well, maybe not good. Cordial at least.

"Um." He cleared his throat after a few seconds of outward silence, inward turmoil on my part. "You can sit down if you want so we can get started. Ms. Bennett said you were having trouble."

That was an understatement. "A little." I kept my chins up and made my way to the desk behind his. Matt's desk faced mine, meaning when I sat down, I was right in his eye-line. Hew-boy.

"Which part causes you the
little
bit of trouble?"

"All of it." I sputtered a laugh and felt myself relax a bit. His voice was kind, definitely not what I was expecting all those Fridays watching him play football. He smiled at my joke (which really wasn't a joke, sad as it was).

"Well then. I'm glad you've got me."

"I'm glad I've got you too." I bit my tongue to keep from saying anything else on those lines. I didn't have him. I had his brain for tutoring which hadn't helped very much so far. In fifteen minutes, I'd learned nada about geometry.

Wiggling from my ripped and ruined coat, I put it on the desk behind me and fiddled with my hunter green sleeves until I had them just right. Matt watched each of my movements, or so I deduced from under my eyelashes.

He cleared his throat, and my mind swirled in all directions. Was I taking too long? Wasting valuable time trying to look decent when it was as impossible as me doing geometry? Or was I reading too much into it? I wanted my mommy.

"This is your homework?" He slid the book already on his desk, I presumed from Ms. Bennett, and pointed to section 17.2. I nodded, and he turned it around. I got out my book and flipped to the same page. And here we were… starting the tutoring. Sure hoped I learned something useful.

"Hmmm…" He let out a deep breath, studying the pages in front of him. Seeing how it didn't matter how many times I looked at the gibberish problems, I took the time to look at him some more. Besides his light-as-the-sky blue eyes and darker blonde hair with sunny highlights, his shoulders under his unzipped EHS coat were broad. I sure would hate to run up on him in a dark alley. His charcoal gray shirt clung to the muscles on his chest, muscles I'd love to look at someday.

Whoa, Brittany. Learn something first!

In any case, he was a looker as my grandma liked to say. If only I was more of a Kendra Moses type, he might notice me back.