BikersLibrarian (13 page)

On the outside of her home everything appeared fine. She
walked behind Shooter, not ready to see the damage done to her sanctuary. They
stepped inside and he shut the door. Her mouth fell open, and her soul wept.
The photos that lined the wall of her entry way had been thrown onto the ground.
Glass crunched under the heels of her boots. She avoided the biggest pieces,
struggling to take everything in at once as they moved farther inside. It was
like being trapped on the movie set of a post-apocalyptic film. Destruction met
her gaze everywhere she looked. Tables were overturned, chairs had been
slashed. Her chest ached with every breath she took. Her safe place had been
taken away from her. She stumbled forward into the kitchen and clutched the
counter.

The angel figurine her mother had purchased to watch over
her home when she first moved in rested a few inches away from her on the
counter, broken in three places. Its wings had been removed along with his
head, all were laid out neatly in a line. He’d hit below the belt. Tears
obscured her vision.
How much longer will I have to deal with this? What if
he never stops?
The weight of uncertainty fell onto her shoulders.

“Hey, you okay?”

“No, I’m really not,” she whispered.

“Come on, let’s take a breather.” He wrapped his arm around
her waist and helped her stand upright.

“Where? Everywhere I look I see utter chaos.” Manic laughter
bubbled up in her throat. “I thought I got away, but it was nothing more than
an illusion. He’s still calling all the shots.”

“No he’s not. Look at me.”

She shook her head. Shooter’s comfort meant nothing when her
life was littered, shattered and scattered into tiny pieces on the ground. He
grabbed a hank of her hair and tugged it tight. She looked up to relieve the
pressure.

“I have you. You’re not alone and you’re not powerless.
We’re working on this together. Understand?”

“Yes.” She gave him the response he wanted, but he narrowed
his eyes. The man saw through bullshit.

“Do you want to leave?”

“No. I want to see what he did.” She licked her lips,
gathering what was left of her backbone.

“All right. You lead I’ll follow.”

An hour of sifting through the rubble confirmed what they
all ready knew, nothing was taken, just destroyed. Police wanted to blame it on
teenage vandals, but she knew better.

It was Stant.

Not that they’d find his fingerprints anywhere. No, he was
too smart for that. He’d hire someone who couldn’t be traced or located. What
they referred to as an outside man.

Deflated and fragile, Juliette sat in the middle of the
wreckage of her room. Her eyes were glossy and distant and her hands shook as
she picked up the contents of her jewelry box and placed the items back inside
the cheerywood square one by one. The police had come and gone, leaving her
free to try to piece her place back together

“Baby?”

She glanced up at Shooter.

“We’ve been here long enough, it’s time to go. Being out in
the open like this with no one to watch our backs makes me uneasy as fuck.”

“Go? This is my home.” She shut the lid on the case and
ignored him. The numbness and shock had faded. Now she was angry and ready to
dig her heels in and rebuild from the ground up.

“You’ll be staying with me until this shit is taken care of,
one way or another.”

“You don’t get to just boss me around—”

“No, what I’m going to do is keeping you safe. Now go do
what I said.”

He’d cut her off and she saw red.
There’s no way I’m
giving away any more today. Haven’t I had enough taken by force?

“You’re an asshole!”

Gritting his teeth, he balled his hands into fists. “Not the
first time I heard it and it won’t be the last. I get you’re mad, but don’t go
off the deep end on me for something I didn’t do.”

“I don’t really want to go anywhere with you right now.” She
crossed her arms beneath her chest.

“You don’t have a choice.”

The words hit her like a slap to the face. Her jaw dropped
and her hackles rose. The tight rope she’d been walking snapped.

“What did you just say to me?” She dropped her voice an
octave and stared him down.

“This is about keeping you safe. If you want to hate me for
that, go right ahead. At least you’ll be alive and whole.”

“Fuck you, Shooter.” Her scream echoed through the room as
she scrambled to her feet.

“Calm your shit down. You’re overreacting.”

“I just had my house torn apart, I’m trying to pick up the
pieces and you’re bulldozing me. I’m not overacting.”

“Aren’t you? In all the time I’ve known you, you’ve never
raised your voice to me.”

“You never acted like a heavy-handed Neanderthal.” She threw
her hands up in the air.

“Yes, I have, because it’s who I am. I know it and so do
you. Hell, I gave you the disclaimer before we got involved.” It was true, but
she’d be damned if she’d admit it in the middle of a fight.

“So that’s an excuse?” She placed her hands on her hips.

“No, sweetheart, it’s a fact.” He smirked and she wanted to
claw his eyes out.

“I think we could both use some space.”

“Not going to happen.” He shook his head.

“You don’t dictate what I can or can’t do.”

“I do when you’re being completely irrational and showing a
total disregard for your own welfare. I bet Stant’s somewhere waiting for this
to happen, rubbing his lily-white hands together in glee at the thought of
having me out of the way. Fuck that.”

“So what now? I’m trapped in a new arrangement?” she
scoffed.

Turning, he slammed his fist into the wall. She jumped,
knowing she’d taken things too far. “Don’t you dare compare me to him. You
don’t want me around, fine. But you will stay in my apartment and be followed
to and from work until this shit is hashed out. I’m not risking your safety
because we picked a shitty time to have our first fight. I’m doing the best I
can here, Juliette, give me some fucking credit and a little respect.” He
stepped forward and gripped her jaw, pinning her to the spot with pain-filled
brown eyes. Something was eating him from the inside out. “You own my fucking
heart. Be careful what you do with it.”

“Shooter.”

“You’re not the only one with demons, Juliette. I fight mine
for you. I need you to do the same for me.” He released her and stepped back.

Her jaw opened and shut rapidly as she floundered. Regret
swamped her. None of this was his doing. She silently pleaded with him to
forgive her with her eyes. They’d had many conversations with a mere glance.

“Pack a suitcase, take whatever you can’t live without and
call one of your girls. I’ll follow you back to my apartment.”

“And then what?” she whispered.

“Then I’ll give you that space.” She cringed. His words held
a bitter tinge she’d never heard before. “I’m going to make some calls, check
in and get some air.” He left her in the room. Closing her eyes, she cursed her
misdirected attitude. Springing into action, she hurriedly packed and called
Joey who quickly agreed to follow Shooter back to his place. She grabbed her
bag and lugged it down the stairs.
I should apologize.
She walked over
to the patio and opened the door, sticking her head outside.

“I’m packed. Joey should be here soon.”

“I’ll come in a minute.”

She hesitated, hovering in the door frame. She opened her
mouth to speak but froze. The words were a jumbled mess in her brain. The silence
between them deafened. Completely drained, she shook her head and moved back
into the house.

* * * * *

“Can you explain to me what’s going on? The air between you
and Shooter was colder than a witch’s tit.”

“Did you seriously just say that?” Juliette rolled her eyes.
Normally she loved Joey’s eccentricities but right then they were too much.

“Quit stalling.” Joey tossed her duffel bag on the sofa.
“I’d think at a time like this you’d be all up under him.”

“Not when he suddenly decides he had the right to tell me
what to do.”

“Okay, details, babe.” Joey patted the seat beside her.
“Come, sit, take a deep breath.”

Juliette huffed and sank down beside her, retelling the
story.

“Honey, he’s worried about you. Everything going on is
backing him into a corner, and he’s fighting back the only way he knows how.”

“So you’re taking his side?” Juliette huffed.

“No,” Joey said, obviously exasperated. “I’m not taking
anyone’s side. I’m trying to shine a light on his perspective.”

“Really? ’Cause my life is barely my own these days. It’s
one unpredictable, terrifying event after another. Can you blame me for wanting
to cling to the little say I do have?”

Joey spluttered, holding her hands up, palms facing out.
“Whoa, whoa. I’m sorry if I made you feel that way but it wasn’t my
intention. It’s clear you’re on edge right now. Your emotions are swimming so
close to the surface, someone stirs the pond a bit and you become a typhoon.”
Joey shook her head.

“Can you blame me?”

“No, but you can see why I’m hesitant to hop on the ‘bash
Shooter’ train. You’re not yourself right now. It’s not like you to be so…”

“Crazy?”

“You said it.” Joey pointed at Juliette.

Banging the back of her head against the couch, she breathed
deep. Safe in Shooter’s place with one of her best friends, she lost the wind
in her sail. Nothing would happen to her here. The boys had her on some sort of
surveillance and not many would be bold enough to walk up into a Lords member’s
home.

“Okay, maybe I overreacted a little.”

Joey pushed her lips to the side. “If by little you mean a
lot, yes.”

“In that moment, when he told me I didn’t have a choice, it
felt like Peter all over again. Violated, with nowhere to go and no options, I
flipped my shit. Too much too soon. My brain overloaded and I took it out on
him. I know it wasn’t my best moment.”

“I get it. But you haven’t. You still have your own place, a
good job and your core group of friends. Sure, you aren’t with us around the
clock like you used to be. But that’s what happens when you get into a serious
relationship.”

Recalling Shooter’s response to her behavior, she looked
down. The sting of embarrassment sliced through her angry haze. Eventually
she’d need to mend the hole she’d placed in their relationship. Shoving away
the tender emotions, she dug into her reserves. Tonight in bed alone, she’d let
the impact of the break-in kick her ass. Right now she needed to keep it
together. She couldn’t be that weak-ass excuse for a woman. Joey had seen her
at her lowest and Juliette needed to show her how strong she’d become. It was a
matter of redemption and pride. This time she wouldn’t fall apart or run
scared. She’d stand her ground and prove to herself the past no longer held her
in its suffocating chokehold. She owed it to herself, and Shooter deserved
someone whole.

“I guess.” Juliette toyed with the edge of her shirt.

“What did the police say?” Joey tactfully changed the
subject.

“They think it was teenagers on a rampage.” She rolled her
eyes again. Bullshit.

“You didn’t tell them about Peter?”

“No, I don’t have any proof and it could come back to haunt
Shooter later. He didn’t say anything but there was murder in his eyes.”

“Good. I hope it’s slow and painful.” She bared her teeth.

“Josephine.”

“After all the shit Peter did to you and who knows how many
others, I hope they cut off his dick and shove it in his mouth before he dies.”

“Damn, you’re bloodthirsty!” Juliette couldn’t help but
smile at her fierceness.

“Why aren’t you?” Joey turned her body sideways to face her.

“Because I can’t afford to be. If I held on to the deep
anger I felt for him I’d be consumed by it. I refuse to become a bitter, angry,
empty shell while he sits back in his tower, lapping up my dysfunction like a
cat with cream. The journey was long and painful, you know.”

Joey nodded.

“That place was dark, lonely and cold. I won’t go back.
Maybe this time I won’t come out alive.”

“Jul.” Joey wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled
her in for a hug.

“I’d rather be dead than live in constant fear. This time
the story needs to end with a period. The open-ended thing didn’t work too well
for me last time.”

“Whatever we need to do, I promise you at the end you will
be the one standing.” The intensity in her friend’s eyes turned Juliette cold.
She hadn’t voiced it out loud, but she shared the sentiment. This was kill or
be killed. He’d never stop. Her greatest fear had come to life in the form of
his reappearing act.

“I know we’re a group of girls, but with the Lords
protecting you, you know I’m not just blowing smoke up your ass.”

“I know, but it doesn’t take away the fear. I never know
what he has planned next. I’m so damn pissed that I’m afraid to go to work
Monday. Every second the clock ticks down panics me and I know I need to be
stronger this time.”

“Honey, you are,” Joey pulled away and took her face between
her hands. “It’s okay to be scared. You should be.”

Chill bumps spread across her skin like wildfire. The game
had changed with the break-in. He’d gotten more hands-on. She had a feeling the
big bad had descended upon her and soon she’d be caught in the eye of the
storm.

* * * * *

“Your old lady has no clue what we’re up to right now, does
she?”

Shooter glanced over at Moose and shook his head. “No, she’s
too busy being pissed the fuck off right now to give a shit. I’m bunking at the
clubhouse for the next few days. The break-in has her fucking off her gourd.
I’m sure she wouldn’t have asked me for details even if I had told her.”

“Smart woman. I can’t really blame her for the personality
transplant. This shit isn’t the norm for her. Kind of crazy really, that she
came with this kind of trouble.”